Top 3

Jason Chaffetz Just Taking A Month Off Work Because OW HIS FOOT OW!

He needs IMMEDIATE foot surgery! It will take him A MONTH to recover!

Genius Republican Thinks Waiters Aren’t Worth Wasting Medicine On

If they would rather die, they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population.

Sad Nazis Find Out Trump Is Not Their Real Daddy After All

Snowflake Nazis are the real victims here, if you think about it!

Marco Rubio Condemning Chechnya’s Torture Of Gay Men Is Actually Really Fucking Impressive

Marco Rubio did a good thing, everyone!

Bundy Jury Can’t Decide If Pointing Guns At Law Enforcement Is Bad

The feds need some better prosecutors, maybe.

New Orleans Removes Confederate Statues! Wingnuts Totally Reasonable About It, As You’d Expect!

Well shoot, guess nobody will remember the Civil War now.

Louisiana Man Sure Scientists Could Reverse Abortions If They Weren’t On The Rag

Abortion Reversal is OMG so hot right now!!

The 83 Most Embarrassing Moments In Donald Trump’s AP Interview

This is the leader of the world's sole superpower, everyone. TAKE A BOW.

Supreme Court Bogarts Colorado’s Civil Asset Forfeitures Allllmost Unanimously. Guess Which Justice Isn’t Chill?

Can Colorado pass a cashgrab law so BAD that even Samuel Alito hates it? IT CAN!

Alex Jones Gets PIIIIIIISSED When You Call His New Wife A Massage Hooker

More dispatches from the Alex Jones custody trial!

Jason Chaffetz Sure He’s As Clean As A Whistle, Because Of All These Enemas (He Said That)

How could Jason Chaffetz POSSIBLY have a secret scandal, when there are so many people cleaning out his butt every day?

Your Gentle Monthly Reminder To PONY THE FUCK UP TO YR WONKETTE, SONS

COME AND GET YOUR YELLING-AT! Don't forget your wallet!

President Of The United States Donald Trump: What’s A FISA? (We Aren’t Joking)

In case you were wondering, yes, the president is A IDIOT.

Brave Men’s Rights Activist Fears 7-Eleven Has Gone The Way Of The ‘Cuck’

MRA will boycott 7-Eleven for their kissing of women's asses.

Oh Fuck Off, Fareed Zakaria

He's very upset liberals don't see Trump as presidential, now that he bombs things.