Also this is your open thread!
A high school assistant sportsball coach in Bremerton, Washington, had a nice chat with the Almighty, who told him that, despite orders to cut it out, he needs to keep praying on the 50-yard line following every game, because...
Apparently there is a lot of crossover between people who love police brutality and also love shitty pizza.
He is SO MAD that ... 20 of the 243 American athletes are black or Asian and two are gay. And NOT because that's too few.
Has Trump not heard about this whole cord-cutting thing?
YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKER.
Earlier today, Serena Williams, part-time tennis virtuoso and full-time eradicator of universes, was awarded the Sports Illustrated Sportsperson Of The Year. Huzzah! No one could possibly be upset about such a deserving athletic superstar receiving recognition for her many...
Corporate America gets Black History Month started with a facepalm.
He's a little 'Over The Top,' no?
Oh look at me, I'm Adam Rippon, I'm good at stuff.
Steph Curry, are you aware of him? He is basically the most incredible basketball player alive and if you are a fan of the Sport Of Hoops, this makes you either love him or hate him (or both). Like...
You need a nice story. Read this nice story RIGHT NOW, MORANS.
If we cover another story today, it'll probably be Puerto Rico. Otherwise, here are some things that *would* have been news today. Your morning news brief!
Donald Trump didn't just spend the weekend beating up on the family of a war hero, oh, heavens no! The man is a master of multi-weaseling, as he demonstrated in his Sunday interview with George Stephanopoulos on ABC's "This...
Huh! Well! Huh and well!
Openly gay US figure skater Adam Rippon is having NONE. OF. MIKE. PENCE'S. SHIT.