Male Judge In Stupid Shitty Home Depot Sex Harasser Decision Should Not Worry His Pretty Head About It

Supervisor tells employee that he will fire her if she doesn't come with him to hotel room, where he rapes and murders her. Company very sorry her 'date' didn't turn out well.

Missouri Republican Demands Transparency In Hot Sexing Between Lobbyists And Lawmakers

The Missouri legislature has, shall we say, Sexxx Issues. This is a place where elected officials walk into the state house as functioning human adults, but once inside turn into violently throbbing jizz spigots unable to do anything besides...
They're only cuddling to protect each other from the Devil Women.

Dudes Who Wait Until Marriage Bad At Boning, Probably Gay, Says Science

Hey-o, my fellow Christian bro-mies, what are YOU doing? Just staying abstinent until marriage, because you're pretty sure Jesus says no getting your dick wet until you're with whatever lady-wife you pick out at age 19, like a common...

Trump Idiot Shares Cool Plan: ‘No Voting Rights For Poors Or Whores’

Wayne Allyn Root thinks people on welfare and women who get copay-free birth control should not be allowed to vote!

Pastor Sure Government Is Fricasseeing Aborted Children With Guns, Or Something

We had to thumb back through the old Wonkette archives, getting virtual ink all over our fingers, to figure out if we had ever heard of this particular brand of gibbering idiot, evangelical edition. Weirdly, this is our first...

Breitbart’s Milo Knows How To Make Women Happy, And It Is By Uninventing Washing Machines

The womenfolk shall be made happy by force, if necessary.

Indiana Republican Sorry For Sending Everybody His Sex Tape, Will Resign Now

UH OH, is it Cocktober yet? No, we still have one more day before the annual festival where all the politicians of both parties (but mostly Republicans) unzip their onesies and start rubbing their genitals against constituents, hooker sex...

Sexciting Study Finds You Should Be Doin’ It Way More

Are you getting laid enough? If you are in a relationship -- the straight-sexual kind, or the legally gay kind, or the "it's complicated winky winky but still counts somehow" kind (whatever, Facebook) -- you might not be getting your...

Christian Daddy Seeks Godly Young Man To Pry Open Daughter’s Box

This is an ad that appeared in the august pages of Christianity Today: It is no longer there, because Christianity Today has taken the bold stand that it's really gross for daddies to sell their unfucked daughters in the want ads....

Nice Time! Hillary Clinton Is A Nice Person!

Here is some nice time for you, Wonkers! Last week, writer Ella Dawson wrote an essay on Medium about how she's been targeted rather ferociously by the alt right for having written several articles about the importance of destigmatizing...

Gretchen Carlson Gets $20 Million From Fox, Untold Number Of Silkwood Showers

That's only half of what Rupert Murdoch gave Ailes in his severance package, but LA LA LA GUESS THAT DOESN'T MATTER.

Newt Gingrich Wants America To Just Lie Back And Think Of Trumpland

Newt says that in order to fully enjoy the Donald Trump Experience, you just have to "relax and take it."

If Ted Cruz Hates Dildos So Much, Then What’s This In His Butt?

It's so rude how liberals and the media are libeling Ted Cruz by saying he hates dildos. He LOVES THEM.

Dream Job Alert: Ivanka Trump Is In Search Of An Assistant Editor!

Must have the best words!

2016: The Year We Sexxxed Up Canada’s Justin Trudeau, Sexxxily

Apparently Justin Trudeau has 'political positions' and stuff, but this is not about that.