Sex

All that lust wasted on two dipshits

Michigan’s Favorite Fornicating Former Lawmakers Headed For The Big House, Maybe

After a torrid -- or at least torpid -- affair that led to the stupidest cover-up ever, it looks like the firm hand of Lady Justice is coming for Todd Courser and Cindy Gamrat, the outlaw lovers and Christian wingnut...

Trump’s Spies Demand Absolute Loyalty! Wonkagenda For Mon., March 20, 2017

Trump installs spies to watch his cabinet, Joni Ernst gets booed, and James Comey heads to The Hill. Your morning news brief!
STOP FAPPING.

How Much Would You Pay To Watch Kim Davis Rub Naughties With A Black Lady?

Five dollars? Seven-fitty? Four easy payments of $19.99, as long as you call right now and they throw in a matching set of cookware for free? Well sorry, but you've all been outbid. A porning company called The Dogfart...
Congratulations, no one will ever know the details, you slime

Sicko Ex-Speaker Dennis Hastert Pleads Guilty, Might Go To Jail For 5 Minutes

Sooo many House speaker SEX SCANDALS since last we checked on (alleged) sick pervert Denny Hastert, the “safe” one who only became speaker in 1999, after all the other preferred choices had to run away in disgrace. We recently lost John...

Utah Bomb Squad Disarms Grandma’s Terror Dildo

A bomb squad successfully protected the community of Price, Utah, from a strange electronic device some kids found while rummaging through a tent in the woods behind the Pinnacle Nursing and Rehab Center. Thanks to the vigilance and meddling...

Gay-Hatin’ Tenn. Doctor/Lawmaker Only Fucked Married Patient/Cousin *Sometimes*

If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in the family! (As long as it's in the heterosexual way, otherwise THAT'S GROSS.)
What what, in the butt.

Pat Robertson Wishes The Homosexuals Would Stop Thrusting Into Him So Hard

Pat Robertson, congratulations, for you are getting your second mention on Wonkette in one week. Your Google Alerts must be going CRAZY! Last time we visited with America's most embarrassingest grandpa, he was teaching us how to make sure...
that's the devil in your pants

Let’s Have Dumb Old Kirk Cameron Tell Us How To Romance Our Christian Wives

Let's get one thing out of the way: Kirk Cameron is cute. This is why it such a screaming shame he fell in with the wrong crowd and became a creationist dickweasel fundamentalist Christian. And he dragged his dumb...

Fine-Ass Reykjavik Mayor Is Your New Political Sexxx Fantasy Of The Week

We at Wonkette are serious journalists, so we like to stay on top of when there is a hot guy. We have done deep analysis time and again on how hot Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is, especially when...
Texas: Not Spongeworthy

Congratulations, Texas! Abortion Laws To Keep Women Safe Doing Opposite Of That

Here's a little something to file under "unintended consequences" (maybe): We already knew that Texas's terrible 2013 abortion law, HB2, which placed strict new regulations on clinics that perform abortions, caused a lot of clinics to close. Hooray for...

Log Cabin Republicans Shocked (Shocked!) At The GOP’s Gay-Hating Platform

Perhaps their log cabins have no windows?

NC School District To Let Kids Pepper Spray Scary Trans Students In The Potty, Why Not?

This is for sure a thing that will turn out well for everyone involved.
Catholic mothers suffer the most. True fact.

Sundays With The Christianists: The Day My Idiot Brother Brought Salvation To Flagstaff, Arizona

This post originated with an offhand comment in the Wonkette Sekrit Chat Cave; we were talking about one of those nice evangelical stunts to "help" sinners by telling them, in gory detail, precisely how hellbound they are, out of...
Wonder if they have this book?

Sexy Republican Lawmakers Sorry For ‘Exchanging Documents’ In Each Other’s Pants

Did you hear about these two crazy kids in Minnesota? They are Republican state Reps. Tim Kelly and Tara Mack, and they are married, but not to each other. They were caught doing normal Republican legislator stuff to each other...
RUN AWAY, ANNA!

Josh Duggar’s Penis Had A Accident On Another Porn Star

Everybody in the front row, cover yourselves with plastic, because we're about to Gallagher some more Duggar spooge your way. Remember how Josh Duggar had to go to the Fuck-No-More Bible Camp, after it was revealed that the porn...