Science

The living will envy the dead

Run For Your Lives, The Apocalypse Is Coming, And This Time It’s Mormon!

Any time you start getting too cocky about how we're a modern technological society that has space exploration and fancy digital watches and everything, it's nice to see a reminder that at least some of us are still impressed...
Somebody set up us the dong!

Is America Ready For This French Retro-Porn Sci-Fi Parody? Your Saturday Nerdout

The weekends are for rest, relaxation, and catching up on binge-watching The Walking Dead (yes, even Season 5). Oh, and maybe doing something about that mass of matter in the kitchen sink before it achieves self-awareness and launches Judgment...
Disney, please hire this guy now.

Your Saturday Nerdout: The World Now Has A Vomiting Robot. Thanks, Science!

It's Saturday, and you know what that means: Nerding Time. And because nothing's nerdier than giggling about bodily fluids like a bunch of 5th-graders, we knew what our Lead Nerd Story had to be: I, Pukebot Researchers at North Carolina State...
A lot, actually

Ben Carson Pretty Darn Angry At Satan For Inventing Evolution

You may have noticed by now that, for a neurosurgeon, Ben Carson is a surprisingly unscientific guy. He was first-rate at cutting into brains and making repairs, but once you get him outside the operating theater, he comes off...
In Fonebone We Trust

We Are All A Science Idiot: Your Saturday Nerdout

As the famous public intellectual Dave Barry observed back in the nineties, one of the few areas where America still excels is the production of studies showing that Americans are really, really stupid. Or something like that; we were...
All Hail the Risen Blingee

Why Do You Weep? Blingee Lives! Your Saturday Nerdout

Hey, remember how a week or so back we were all bummed because one of the most useful dumb wonderful things on the Internet, Blingee, was going away forever? Turns out that the public reaction was so anguished, so...
Some Presidents get shoes thrown at them. Some get salmon jizz thrown on their shoes

President Obama Got Diddled By A Fish, Y’all

Barack Obama visited the Alaskan fishing village of Dillingham Wednesday, where he sampled some salmon jerky, talked to the residents about climate change, and met an amorous salmon which jizzed all over his mukluks. The fish's negligent discharge occurred...

Wingnuts Tell Commie Pope To Get A Brain, Moran

The rightwing freakout over Pope Francis and his betrayal of all good things (unfettered capitalism) continues, and it seems that his address to a joint meeting of Congress doesn't seem to have made them a lot happier, probably because...

All-American Teenage Science Nerd Hero Ahmed Mohamed Invited To Run The World

It's been a seriously strange 48 hours for Ahmed Mohamed, the 14-year-old kid from Irving, Texas, who went from potential criminal suspect to instant Geek Hero, thanks to his idiot school's overreaction to a simple electronic clock that scared...
Promised and Delivered!

Labor Day Weekend Gas Prices Lowest Since 2004, Have You Thanked Michele Bachmann Yet?

Gasoline prices are down, so go fill up all your recreational machines and have a carbon-spewing Global Warming extravaganza, America! The average price of gasoline was $2.51 per gallon on Monday, the Energy Information Administration (EIA) said, the lowest price...
nukes

Texas Ag Commissioner Doesn’t Really Want To Nuke All The Muslims. OR DOES HE?

We all know the normal steps in political gaffe management: 1) Somebody says something really stupid, often on social media; 2) The incredibly stupid/offensive/impolitic social media post is removed; 3) A spokesperson explains that the gaffe was committed by...
Guess this makes them serious candidates.

Reality TV Show Star Thinks Neurosurgeon Isn’t Qualified To Run America

Fish splooge runner-up Donald Trump continued his charm offensive this week. In addition to explaining that Jeb! Bush can never be president of America if he refuses to speako the English, Trump turned his attention to Ben Carson, who recently tied...
Jesus is so proud of you

Magic Bible Words Protect Gun From Grubby Muslim Hands

While some gun shops and ranges have been drawing in the rubes by declaring themselves "Muslim-free zones," a Florida gun manufacturer has hit on the ultimate in anti-Muslim marketing: a semiautomatic rifle that no Muslim would ever dare touch,...
Portrait of the idiot in her natural surroundings.

Bristol Palin Shocked To Learn She Is A Idiot

Commenters, we need to ask you a question, and we PROMISE we will not get mad. Has somebody out there been doing some rogue, face-to-face guerilla Wonkette-ing? Because somebody marched right into the medical office where Bristol Palin works...

Archbishop Steve King Lectures Pope On How To Catholic Good

Iowa congressmelon Steve King is a Catholic, and as a concerned member of the most strictly hierarchical religious institution on the planet, he'd like to take the opportunity to set Pope Francis straight about a few points of Catholic...
Have you ever REALLY LOOKED at your hand? Fascinating.

Does Weed Make You Skinny? Let’s Ask Science!

A new Canadian study seems to suggest that smoking marijuana like some kind of jazz criminal may prevent obesity and diabetes, at least among the Inuit population that was the subject of the study. Researchers at the Journal of...