Religion

Not an abortion

Tennessee Pastor Knows You’d Be Real Sad Right Now If You Were An Abortion

Pastor Ben Bailey of Tennessee's Gospel Of Christ Ministries is glad to be with us today, and glad not to be an abortion, so he can Jesus-splain how sad we'd be if we were an abortion. This is like one of...

Jeb Bush Tells Mean Pope To Leave His Favorite Teddy Bear Trump Alone

Jeb Bush is not dangling on the edge while fondling his gun that says JEB BUSH on it, contrary to certain vicious internet rumors he started, but he is definitely suffering from Stockholm syndrome. In the epic fight between Donald Trump and...

Pastor’s ‘Christ-Like’ Handjobs GUARANTEED To Make Your Dick Bigger, For A While

How many dick jokes can we fit in one post? HOW MUCH TIME YOU GOT?

Help Us Susan Collins, You’re Our Only Hope! Wonkagenda, For Thurs., Feb 23, 2017

More Trump 'n' Russia, CPAC sharpens its fangs, and Senator Ted Nugent? Your morning news brief!

Dumb Duggar Boy Won’t Let Satan Finger His Sisters Again

Hey, Jesus Lovers, OMG OMG OMG, are you so excited about watching TV tonight? No, not the primaries! What are you, some kind of politically minded DORKASS? No, we are talking about the premiere of the new season of "Duggar Diddles...

Fox’s Favorite Priest Outraged Catholic Hospitals Might Be Forced To Save Lives

Fox News has a religion correspondent on the payroll, because whenever you're discussing important issues of the day, it's handy to have a rightwing lunatic appear in religious garb to explain why disagreeing with his political positions pretty much guarantees...
Lion wasn't paying attention during the employee orientation

Virginia Legislature Saves Children From All That Porn In Schools

Both houses of the Virginia General Assembly have passed a bill requiring teachers to give advance notice to parents of "sexually explicit" passages in assigned reading, and to make alternate assignments available to parents who don't want their Special...

Wonkagenda: Tuesday, September 13, 2016

You get in here and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW!

Trump Idiot Scottie Nell Hughes Says Facts Don’t Exist, Also She’s The Lindbergh Baby

2+2=5, 2+2=5, 2+2=5, 2+2=5, 2+2=5, 2+2=5, 2+2=5, 2+2=5....
OK not ALL the little children, according to Republicans.

Teabagger Congressman Furious With Obama For Stealing Jesus From Teabaggers

Remember Dave Brat? He is the teabagger who decided Virginia congressman Eric Cantor was a stinkin' liberal, primaried him from the right, and beat him, thus depriving Cantor of all his future hopes and dreams, and forcing John Boehner to...

It’s ‘Bring Your Bible To School’ Day! Don’t Forget To Slaughter Some Midianites!

Oh, gosh, we almost forgot it's "Bring Your Bible to School" Day! Thursday marks the second annual event, apparently. The thing is being promoted by Focus on the Family and rightwing Christianist lawyer group the Alliance Defending Freedom, which is sort...
They call themselves His People. Weird.

Jesus-Loving Cop Fired, Just For Loving Jesus Too Much

Know that thing when you are driving down the interstate in Indiana on the way to the big sale at the Big Lots, and you're late? So you figure, whatever, I will drive a little faster, because big sales...
Viva sandino!

Raise Less Corn, More Hell

Everything your mother should have taught you, and that mine did. Happy Mother's Day, sweetlings!
Christian who somehow has not been jailed yet

Meet This One Christian Baker Who’s NOT A Dick To Gay People!

Being a fundamentalist Christian who owns a cake-baking business or works for the government as the county clerk is SO hard. You have to get up each and every day and go to work and abide by super-unfair laws...
You can see why someone might think that's a beaver

Sundays With The Christianists: A Mutilated Squirrel Teaches Your Kids Why Welfare Is Bad

Good Sunday to you, Sinners! As we promised, or threatened, earlier in the week when we wrote about the Tennessee homeschooling mom who is Very Concerned about all the Islamic Indoctrination that she's sure is happening in the school...

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Butt Nekkid ‘Gay Conversion’ Clinic Gets Dressed, Closes Forever

A Merry X-mas and a Chappy Challadays to you all! We at the Bulletin have found ourselves having caught a touch of the Holiday Cheer, though a few tablespoons of wizard elixir should clear it up right quick. In...