Physician, heal thy own brain!

Ben Carson’s Broken Brain Has New ‘Thoughts’ On Gay Marriage

Oh lookie, Ben Carson has decided to sleepily share some more thoughts, and as usual, they are dumb moronic "I should play Operation on my own brain, that's what I should do" thoughts. Oh, there's nothing here so BREAKING!...

Louisiana Man Sure Scientists Could Reverse Abortions If They Weren’t On The Rag

Abortion Reversal is OMG so hot right now!!
Sailor Moon died for your sins

Office Depot Apologizes For Killing Free Speech, Jesus

Thank heavens, the latest attempt to oppress Christians in America has been thwarted. The CEO of Office Depot has apologized to a nice "pro-life" lady after an employee at one of its Chicago-area stores refused to print 500 copies...

Comey To Come Out And Play! Wonkagenda For Thurs., June 1, 2017

Comey's coming back to Congress, Trump's giving back Russian spy mansions, and Hillary Clinton keeps it real. Your morning news brief!

Steve Bannon Is Your President Now, Isn’t That Marvelous?! Wonkagenda For Mon., Jan. 30, 2017

Trump's Muslim ban blows up in his face, Not America hates Trump, Philly scares the GOP. Your morning news brief!

Are The Duggars About To Finger Our Souls With New Season Of ’19 Kids And Counting’?

We just ... I ... what? WHY? If this report from the Christian Post is in any way true, the TLC network is a buncha rancid whores: After seeing the success of , it was announced that TLC will be bringing back "19...

Pat Robertson Can Heal You And Drive Out Demons — Even On Tape!

Superannuated Godswallop peddler Pat Robertson has some excellent news for you: He (and God of course) can heal you even if you're watching a recording of "The 700 Club" on the DVR, or even "on tape." He didn't specify...
Vatican expert

Mike Huckabee Furious With Gay Liberals Who Run Roman Catholic Church

Did you know that Pope Francis is secretly a cousin-fucking hillbilly Mike Huckabee/Kim Davis supporter? It's true! (According to Mike Huckabee.) And did you know that the pope is being prevented from telling THE REAL TRUTH about how he...
And Moses invests, hahaha!

Georgia’s Nifty ‘Religious Freedom’ Law Might Protect KKK’s Sacred Right To Do Klan Stuff

The Georgia state Senate passed an absurdly broad "religious freedom" law Friday on a 38-14 vote, sending a revised version of the bill back to the House, where it is expected to pass as well. Gov. Nathan Deal is...

YAY ABORTION! Best SCOTUS Decision Ever Strikes Down Texas’s Garbage TRAP Laws

Antonin Scalia did not get to write a dissent, because the devil won't let you do that in hell.
Oh, wait, you're just murderers, not gay? Well let me think this over. You're sure you're not gay?

Where Were You When Kim Davis Stood Up For Jesus At Columbine?

The Republican debates had so many weird moments that it's hard to keep track of them all. Bobby Jindal explained that the arrest of a Muslim high school kid for building a clock was no big, because Christians are...

GOP Senator Just Saying He Hopes Sasha And Malia Obama’s Dad Dies Real Soon

Haha, conservative Christians are so funny when they pray for people to die!

White Guy Who Planned Mosque Attack Not Charged With Terrorism. Wonder Why!

If Robert Doggart were a Muslim, there is no question on what the charges would be.
They named it after a scary movie and everything

Christians Oppressed Again: School Won’t Let Them Do Gay Nightclub Shooting Haunted House

Chicago's school district cancelled a 'Christian' haunted house simply because it was tasteless and exploitative. Talk about missing the point.

Idaho Lunatics Pretty Sure Proposed Community College Will Spread Book-Larnin’, SHARIA LAW

Not only are community colleges tyrannical, they might attract hordes of Muslims who'll do 'weird stuff.'

Zombie TrumpCare Dies Again! Wonkagenda for Tues., July 18, 2017

TrumpCare fails again, the House moves on to money, and Trump screams at Chris Christie. Your morning news brief.