Trump Caught Yanking The Bishop Of Rome. Wonkagenda For Wed., May 24, 2017

Trump manhandles the Pope, Hannity will shut up now, and Rob Quist is scaring the GOP. Your morning news brief!

Obama Says ‘Radical Islam’ Three Times In Terrorism Speech. Are All The Terrorists Dead Yet?

It's almost like those aren't magic words or something!

Mueller? Mueller? Mueller? Mueller? Wonkagenda For Tues., June 13, 2017

Russia invaded 39 state elections, Trump might fire the special prosecutor (already!), and Ivanka's paying slave wages. Your morning news brief!

Good Christian Girls Riding Dildos Straight To Hell

Listen, sisters in Christ, we need to talk. Have you thought about, if you were to die right this second, where you would spend eternity? Will you get to sit in Jesus's lap while He tells you all the...
Strange, we keep finding reasons to use this

Mississippi: You Call That A Gay-Hatin’ Bill, North Carolina? THIS Is A Gay-Hatin’ Bill!

Doesn't it feel like we're taking a little bus tour of U.S. America these days, to see the new, enchanted ways everybody's coming up with to screw the gays and the BLTs? Today we are in Mississippi, where Republican Gov....
To be fair, he looks pretty safe there

Jeb Bush Forgot To Remember 9/11

This had to be one of the more surreal moments of the GOP debate Wednesday. After Donald Trump attacked the legacy of the Great Decider Commander Guy, saying that the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, followed by the financial...

Buzzfeed All Like ‘Ooooh We Have Ethics And Don’t Want Your Gross Trump Money’ Or Whatever

Wonkette will take all your lovely money, Reince Priebus. Give it to mama.

What Taxes? Trump Has No Taxes! Wonkagenda For Tues., April 18, 2017

In 24 hours Trump thanked a dictator, dodged his taxes, and blamed Obama for gang violence. Your morning news brief!

Jews And Muslims Having To Crowdfund For Each Other A Little Too Often Lately

How do you say 'ENOUGH' in Aramaic?
The sleepiest little candidate

Ben Carson Will Defund Commie Liberal Colleges, Because Freedom

You have to love Ben Carson's commitment to fight the forces of Political Correctness, because he knows the greatest threat to freedom is all these crazy liberals and their insistence that you can't be in favor of guns or...

Nice Time! Refugee Rescue Group Comes To Aid Of Sea-Nazis After Their Hitlerboat Breaks Down

Jus' doin' good works for the Lord who loves all the little babies, including these jackass 'identitarian' ones. Also: your OPEN THREAD!

Oh Look, Nazi Flat Earthers. Aren’t You Surprised??

The astonishing TRUTH will truly astonish you!
Awwww. Kids being out in high school makes yr Old Gay Wonkette verklempt.

Catholic School Denies Gay Kid’s Sacred Right To Date Boys From Other Schools

Here's a new one for you! We're used to stories like "Hey, you lesbian, you can go to prom with your lady-lesbian date, but you have to wear a pretty dress like all the other debutantes," and "Hey, you...

Pope Francis Meets With Scientists, Urges Certain Unnamed Nation (HE MEANS US) Not To Kill Planet

When the Pope of Rome subtweets you, you should know you've screwed up.
The Yoogest Story Ever Told

Super Christian Donald Trump Big Fan Of God And His Blowhard Son Jesus

God and Jesus have done an amazing job and are being recognized more and more, Trump notices.

Trump Idiot Scottie Nell Hughes Says Facts Don’t Exist, Also She’s The Lindbergh Baby

2+2=5, 2+2=5, 2+2=5, 2+2=5, 2+2=5, 2+2=5, 2+2=5, 2+2=5....