Religion

Jesus Idiot Knows Hillary Murdered Mike Flynn, Because He Knew About The Pizza Sex

Just another day in the devil-worshipping Luciferian demon-possessed salt mines.

Imbecile Video Faker James O’Keefe Proves ‘Huma Abedin’ Is A Name You Could Do Crimes With

Are you shocked yet? We bet you are way shocked.
Doing much better now

Jerk Lady Guilty Of Trying To Make Somali Woman Speak English By Hitting Her In Face With Beer Mug

Thank goodness irrational fear of foreigners doesn't lead to tragic results.

GOP Rep.: Jesus Doesn’t Want You To Have Healthcare Because You’re So Lazy

It might be possible for a medical doctor to be more lacking in empathy. Wait, is he a surgeon, or no?
He Stopped Making Sense long ago

Scuzzy Child-Rehoming Rep. Justin Harris Got Himself On National Teevee!

Remember skeevy Arkansas state Rep. Justin Harris, who made big news earlier this year when it was revealed that he and his wife Marsha had "rehomed" two little girls they'd adopted because the girls were either suffering from "reactive...

Ted Cruz Will Protect Gays By Letting Christians Discriminate Against Them More

You know there is that thing called "gay Republicans"? Yeah, it's pretty weird to us too. It's like, "Oh you only vote that way because you're white and you have money and your tax cuts are more important to...
Physician, heal thy own brain!

Ben Carson’s Broken Brain Has New ‘Thoughts’ On Gay Marriage

Oh lookie, Ben Carson has decided to sleepily share some more thoughts, and as usual, they are dumb moronic "I should play Operation on my own brain, that's what I should do" thoughts. Oh, there's nothing here so BREAKING!...

Oh Look, Nazi Flat Earthers. Aren’t You Surprised??

The astonishing TRUTH will truly astonish you!

California Bars And Restaurants Doin’ Racial Profiling Like They’ve Turned Into Texas

In Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse-Five, there's a lovely Kilgore Trout story-within-a-story called "The Gospel From Outer Space." An alien came to Earth, studied Christianity very carefully, and concluded that the true message of the Gospels was "Before you kill somebody,...
Homos

Indiana Pizza Bigots Accidentally Cater Gay Wedding, Will Go Straight To Hell

You remember those assholes, Kevin O'Connor and daughter Crystal, who own Memories Pizza in Walkerton, Indiana? Let us quickly refresh you. They said, "No way, none of our pizza will ever be used to consummate a homosexual butt wedding,"...

Republicans So Awful, Obama Wishes They’d Be More Like Bush

Here is your foreign secret Muslim "president" Barry HUSSEIN Soetoro O'Bama, saying some sounds about how "refugees" are not the same thing as "terrorists." As if! That's exactly what he would say, isn't it? If he didn't really love America and want to keep...
There. Much better without that nonsense

Tennessee Republican Demands Schools Delete Islam From History, Because 9/11

To mark the anniversary of the attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, Tennessee state Rep. Andy Holt is calling on the state to revise the history of Islam out of its social studies standards, because obviously...

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Putting The Moran In Mormon

Welcome back, pagans, heretics, and heathens alike! It's time once more for the Snake Oil Bulletin. This week we're taking a break from our usual skullduggery, flim-flammery, and general assorted chicanery to take a look at those nice folks...

Ted Cruz Thinks The Rest Of You Should Shut Up About Jesus

Humble man of the Canadian-Texanese people Ted Cruz is a proud Christian. You know, the kind of Christian who thinks the pope is a goddamned idiot when it comes to whether Jesus is just all right with the death...

Melania And Ivanka Trump Show The World What Feminine Power Looks Like

Oh Washington Post, we love you so much. Why you gotta do us like that?
Been a while. We missed this one.

Hillary Clinton Is New Antichrist, Which Must Be Making Barack Obama SO Jealous

Obama knew he was term-limited out of the presidency, but he probably thought he got to be the Antichrist forever, NO FAIR.