DAMN! Those Texas Fetus Funerals Are Gonna Cost A Non-Fetal Arm And Leg

Texas Governor Greg Abbott is nothing if not an optimist. Barely a week after the Supreme Court decided that he couldn't implement stupid TRAP laws (the "targeted regulation of abortion providers"), he came right out and decided to require...

End Of World Off To Slow Start

Hey, everybody, better get your butts out of bed and off to your jobs after all, because it looks like the Mormon Apocalypse has failed to materialize. At least, so far. As we noted in our earlier story, some...

Rush Limbaugh Explains How That Big Gorilla’s Death Disproves Evolution, OBVIOUSLY

Who is stupider? Rush Limbaugh or the people who listen to him?

It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Terror! Wonkagenda For December 20, 2016

Trump's electoral college victory might now be what it seems, Newt Gingrich declares war, and Obama Red Phones Valdimir Putin. Your Daily News Brief!

Trump’s Jesus Advisor Will Resurrect Your Dead Relatives For Low, Low Price of $1,144!

Paula White would like to sell you some magic beans!
Things that aren't in his mouth right now: Semen lattes. Allegedly.

Nice Pastor Will Sell Church To Homos In Exchange For Butt Baby Love Offerings

Have you met this nice, totally normal pastor of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, James David Manning? He is the main dude of the Atlah Worldwide Ministries in Harlem, and his church is up for auction due to how...

Turns Out The ‘God’s Not Dead’ Folks Not So Holy After All, Probably Going Straight To Hell

They may have stolen their plot from Michael Landon's son, and that is a violation of the 8th commandment.

Here Are Erick Erickson’s Nuanced Thoughts About The Planned Parenthood Shooting

It's weird to watch a complete psychopath like Erick Erickson try to feign compassion. You can almost see his triple chin quiver with the sheer effort of it. You can see his piggish little eyes screw shut as he tries...
Hi Kim Davis, bye Kim Davis!

Vatican Issues Clarification: Kim Davis Sucks And We Hate Her

What a whirlwind of emotions we have been feeling over Kim Davis's alleged sexxxytime religious freedom Tinder date with the pope! When the news first came out, we were like "NO WAY, the pope is not that much of...

Mean Judge Says Hobby Lobby Not Allowed To Look At Your Genitals

Uh oh, America is being mean to Hobby Lobby again. First, the preferred arts and crafts store of Christian vlogger moms in the Bible belt was forced to perform late-term DIY abortions in aisle 13, right next to the...

Fox’s Favorite Priest Outraged Catholic Hospitals Might Be Forced To Save Lives

Fox News has a religion correspondent on the payroll, because whenever you're discussing important issues of the day, it's handy to have a rightwing lunatic appear in religious garb to explain why disagreeing with his political positions pretty much guarantees...

Donald Trump Loves Sunday School So F*cking Much, It’s Terrific And Elegant And You Get Juice Boxes

Trump spoke to a big gay-hatin' conference of bigots this week. Click to see what he said!

Good Christian Housewives Declare War On Miss Piggy The Whore

It's been a while since yr Wonkette has checked in with the "One Million Moms" group (77,000 Facebook fans and counting!), and its fearless leader, the halfwit Never-Nude Monica Cole. Hi, Monica! If you don't remember, "One Million Moms" is...

Fox News Has Thoughts On Kim Davis. They Are Strangely Interesting Thoughts!

So, the other day, we showed you a video of a nice panel discussion on the Fox News, about how Kentucky clerk Kim Davis's lawyer Mat Staver is "ridiculously stupid," and we remarked that when a wingnut has lost...
Senator, Jesus wants you to sit over there, away from the microphones

Mike Huckabee Didn’t Appreciate Ted Cruz Trying to Hijack His Kim Davis Jesus Party

Mike Huckabee would just like you all to know that if anyone's going to go to jail in Kim Davis's place, it's Mike Huckabee, not that Canadian-come-lately Ted Cruz. Following the hilarious scene Tuesday of a Huckabee staffer blocking...