Religion

Wonkette Hero Evan Hurst Destroys Michele & Marcus Bachmann (VIDEO)

Evan Hurst, everybody! Wonkette's favorite son!
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Mike Huckabee Begs Judge To Send Him To Jail, Make Him Sexy Christian Martyr Too

So, Kim Davis is having a big day! First she woke up in a jail cell and chatted with her bunkmate Myrtle about the best way to hide a shiv inside a Bible (cut out all the compassionate Jesus...
America's sweethearts

Great News, TLC’s Going To Let The Duggars Perv Up Our TV Screens Some More

Cool Story: After Josh Duggar admitted to fingerbanging his family back in the aughts; and after news came out that his parents did all they could to cover it up; and after TLC canceled the family's well-known reality show,...
Guess she'll just have to go get a wingnut book deal or something.

Satan Probably Won’t Let Kim Davis Raise Bigot Bucks On GoFundMe :(

A lot of people have been saying, OOH THAT KIM DAVIS, that asshole, that adulteress, that bleeding pus-filled skin tag on the lady-jumper-concealed inner thigh of humanity! That's not what this post is about, people have just been saying...
Sexytime Jesus Vacation

Uh Oh, Looks Like Dumb Duggar Kids Don’t Have Proper License To Win Souls For Jesus

Jill Duggar Dillard and her husband, Arranged Husband Dillard (his name is "Derick"), are supposedly missionaries in Central America. You remember -- we reported on how their Beliebers were all mad about how it sure LOOKS like they're using...
RUN AWAY, ANNA!

Josh Duggar’s Penis Had A Accident On Another Porn Star

Everybody in the front row, cover yourselves with plastic, because we're about to Gallagher some more Duggar spooge your way. Remember how Josh Duggar had to go to the Fuck-No-More Bible Camp, after it was revealed that the porn...
Disappointed in Kim Davis's past sins obviously.

Pat Robertson Just Called Kim Davis A Whore

UH OH SHOTS FIRED! Grandpa Pat Robertson is real glad Kim Davis is standing up for Jesus Christ's true message, which is "PEEEEE-YEW! Notice how I never said Blessed Are The Icky Homos? They're the BEATITUDES, not the BE-FAG-ITUDES."...
Actually, Texas isn't so big on the 'Thinking' either. Just sit there and don't make trouble, OK?

Texas Teen Builds Clock, Gets Arrested For ‘Bomb Hoax.’ Did We Mention He’s Muslim? Yeah.

An Irving, Texas, teenager who loves tinkering with electronics and computers learned an important lesson this week about the American values of hard work, individual initiative, and original thinking this week. And that lesson is that if you exhibit...
Oh look, it's the new face of terror: A bright 14-year old. But he's Muslim!!!!!!!!

Wingnuts Have Had It With That Muslim Teen Terrorist Ahmed Mohamed And His ‘Science’

Of course there's a backlash. Couldn't possibly have any story about a Muslim kid mistakenly accused of making a hoax bomb and then showered with love from fellow geeks, and have that be the end of it. Gotta gin...
How Not to Protect America

Armed Idiot Protects Oklahoma Gun Store From Muslims By Shooting Himself

In Oktaha, Oklahoma, the owners of a local survivalist shop and gun range decided last week that it was high time to jump on the "Muslim-free zone" gravy train, because there's a whole lot of ISIS activity in the...
Catholic mothers suffer the most. True fact.

Sundays With The Christianists: The Day My Idiot Brother Brought Salvation To Flagstaff, Arizona

This post originated with an offhand comment in the Wonkette Sekrit Chat Cave; we were talking about one of those nice evangelical stunts to "help" sinners by telling them, in gory detail, precisely how hellbound they are, out of...
The pope has changed my life!

Here Are A Bunch Of Pictures Of John Boehner Crying Alcoholic Tears On The Pope

Everybody knows two things about John Boehner. For one, he cries SO MUCH. Like all the time, about any old fucking thing. Eyelash in his hoo-ha? TEARS. Something about Australia? BOO HOO! Nancy Pelosi said a mean to him? Gonna...
Drop Kick Me Jesus

Georgia High School Adds Baptisms To Football Practice, Benches Constitution

Residents of Villa Rica, Georgia, are astonished that anyone could have a problem with a group baptism of football players on school grounds before a recent F'ball practice. Because they love America, and Jebus, and F'ball -- which is why it...
We finally realized what Scott Walker's dumb face reminds us of: MST3K's Joel Hodgson *pretending* to be a dipwad.

Scott Walker Doesn’t Think So Good, Hypothetically

Ladies and gentlemen, we would just like to apologize for all the times we've suggested that Scott Walker isn't very bright, because we finally understand where he's coming from. It's not that he's too stupid to answer questions like whether...
Yaoi? Yowie!

Gay-Hatin’ Kentucky Clerks Having Real Bad Week

Pour out a 40 for the gay-hating county clerks of Kentucky, who are losing their brave battle to refuse to do their jobs in the name of Jesus. First up, we have Kim Davis, the clerk of Rowan County,...
Anna, divorce can be really great. You should try it.

Josh Duggar’s Penis Banned From TLC, Maybe From His Wife Too

There comes a time several times a day when we get an email that says "gross thing about Duggar family, please read." So here's a new development, and it's about the gross "Josh Duggar" character, who is currently serving...