Just as long as you don't major in philosophy.

Barack Obama Insults Veterans By Helping Them Go To College

Darn that elitist Barack Obama -- not only does he want to inflict higher education on all young people, he also wants to make it more available to veterans. Which is why he announced Wednesday, on Armistice Day and...

George Takei Had Lunch With Trump And All He Got Was This Stupid … No, That’s It.

Donald Trump thinks Captain Sulu has excellent taste. Your Open Thread!

Future Not-Speaker Jason Chaffetz Very Sad He Found Bupkis On Planned Parenthood

So this smegma-guzzling ferret, Rep. Jason Chaffetz of Utah, we were talking about him just the other day, remember? Because HAHAHAHA he thinks maybe he will be the next Drinker of the House. (Spoiler: He will not.) We ran through...

Rep. Steve King Will Stop Lady-Hating Racists From Putting Harriet Tubman On $20

Rep. Steve King is just not ready for this kind of change.

Breitbart Watch: Establishment Republicans Are Importing Somali Terrorists To Stab You! Be More Afraid!

Now we know who's really responsible for terrorism: Republicans who don't hate Muslims enough.

Maryland Will Fund Planned Parenthood, Because GOP Governor Scared Shitless

Republican governor trying pretty hard to keep his seat in blue blue Maryland. Keep trying governor!

Inbred Alabama Hicks Can’t Even Spell Why They Hate Transgenders So Much

There is a town called OXFORD, Alabama, and it sounds like the town council/shootin' range/squirrel recipe dispensary needs an OXFORD English Dictionary, because boy howdy, let us tell you about these dumb motherfuckers. The City Council is so mad about...

Jared Kushner Going To Solve Middle East Without Any Of Your Bullshit Book-Learning, Is What!

Jared Kushner will use his mad business skills to fix the Middle East! Hooray!

Tom Arnold Needs To Release Donald Trump’s Whitey Tape RIGHT THE HELL NOW


Donald Trump Trying To Build His Own Secret, Privatized CIA. What Could Go Right?

Trump's trying to build his own secret Team America to run around and kidnap terrorists by using Iraq War and Iran-Contra rejects.
That should satisfy everyone

Fox & Friends Terrified Of Lady On $20 Bill. What’s Next, CATS?

a href="http://wonkette.com/588815/feminists-murder-patriarchy-again-for-ten-dollar-bill"Thank goodness we have Fox & Friends to let us know what our cultural anxieties should be. We already knew that it was very important to fret that those crazy feminists were going to murder the patriarchy by...

Farewell, Steve Bannon, You Malevolent Shit Monster! May You Stub Your Big Toe On Your Way Out!

Stinky jizz-encrusted Nazi trashfire Steve Bannon doesn't have to go home, but he can't stay in the White House.