Politics

FBI Director James Comey Tells Donald Trump To Shut His Lying Orange Yap-Hole

Oh look, another mountain of bullshit from the Trump White House!

GOP Tax Plans Are Just Free Stuff For Rich People: A Wonksplainer

Are you rich and tired of all the poors getting the government handouts? Damn right you are! It’s time that this country gave something back to rich entitled asshats, and the GOP clowncar of fuckwits and addle-brained toads are...

Oklahoma Court Just Fine With Oral Rape, As Long As Victim’s Really, Really Drunk

In a novel bit of legal reasoning, an Oklahoma state appeals court has decided that under Oklahoma law, oral sex with a person who's completely unconscious isn't actually a crime. They're not unsympathetic to victims, no, not at...

Angry Town Hall Crowd Yells ‘You Are Untruthful!’ At Joe Wilson, About Like You’d Expect

Honestly, why would you chant anything else?

Guess Which Big Tough Guy Americans Want To Be Their New Daddy

Now that we are having Serious Conversations about terrorism, for the first time ever again, the real question terrified American-USers are asking is, "Who can we trust to kick the most terrorist behinds, for America?" And which dude's balls are...
Why can't kids learn about the Middle East the way their parents did, ya dern galoot?

Tennessee Rep. Will Banish Islam From History. You Know, For The Kids

In a great victory for Tennessee religious freedom, a state representative is pushing a bill that should satisfy all the terrified parents who are pretty sure the state's public schools are hotbeds of Muslim indoctrination. State Rep. Sheila Butt...

Wonkette’s Favorite Half-Nutso Louisiana Cop Running For Congress, Hooray!

Wonkette is strangely in love with this tough-talking but oddly compassionate Louisiana cop. We're not sure he's really cut out to serve in Congress, but that's never stopped any candidate before.
Owen Wilson was a gimme, but who to use for the second face? Giuliani?

Donald Trump Really Wanted Invite To Chelsea Clinton’s Wedding. Probably To Look For Illegals.

When Donald Trump didn't get invited to Chelsea Clinton's 2010 wedding, he knew it had to be a mistake. So he took action. A little.
You can always count on some dope to misspell exactly what you need

Donald Trump Very Angry Google’s Hiding All The Bad News About Hillary Clinton

Donald Trump knows the truth about Google: It's out to get him, just like everyone else.

Fox Uses Trump’s Pussgrab Tape In Sexual Harassment Training, Like To Say DON’T Do This. Weird!

At parties, Fox the entertainment company pretends not to even know Fox News.
But they won't.

Idiot Trump Lady Begs Trump To Protect Planned Parenthood. LOL STOP LAUGHING!

Oh boy, we found us a real live moron!

Uncle Sam Loves Donald Trump So Much He’s Paying Him For His Vacations

Donald Trump's dream vacations are the stuff of Washington's feverish nightmares.

Meet Kentucky’s New Cock-Fightin’ Teabaggin’ Gov. Matt Bevin!

Kentucky's a hell of a drug. Extra-crispy wingnut Matt Bevin was too crazy even for Republican primary voters to send him to the Senate in place of RINO Majority Leader Mitch McConnell in 2014, so the whole state decided Bevin...

Black GOP Senator Treated Just As Badly By Cops As Black Folks Who Aren’t GOP Senators

Maybe white Republicans will listen to THIS guy.
Black coffee, she needs black coffee. Or another cocktail.

Sarah Palin Probably Had Good Hangover, We Mean Reason, For Quitting On Trump Rally

If your name is Sarah Mama Grizzly Moosedick Palin, you have been a busy little worker bee the past 24 hours! You went on an airplane to Iowa, all the way from up there in Alaska; you got a...