Politics

That smile is unnatural, is what it is.

Nikki Haley Wishes Black Folks Wouldn’t Be So Ugly About Getting Shot By Police

South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley would just like America's The Blacks to settle down and stop making such a big fuss over the occasional unfortunate shootings of black people by white cops, because if they protest such shootings, the...

Tom Arnold Needs To Release Donald Trump’s Whitey Tape RIGHT THE HELL NOW

GIVE IT, TOM ARNOLD, GIVE IT.

House Wingnuts Will Let Paul Ryan Be Speaker, But Only If He Wears ‘Kick Me’ Sign

Previously, on "As The House GOP Burns": Wonky Wisconsin Wunderkind Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Stairway To Heaven) had reluctantly agreed to swoop in and save the damsels in distress. The damsels in distress being, of course, the Republicans who have eated...

Jews For Jesus Really Sassy In Philadelphia Right Now

MORE DISPATCHES FROM PHILLY YOU GUYS, OMG
The Titan refugee program was a bad idea, we'll admit

Donald Trump’s Analogies Not Making America Great Again

Just in case you had any doubts that Donald Trump is the smartest, YOOGEST, most knowledgeable security expert running for president, we bring you this thought about border security from his Twitter feed, which belongs to him and is...

Deleted Comments: Why Does Wonkette Want To Throw Democracy Down The Toilet?

A few more pre-election thoughts from our Deleted Commenters.

Even President Trump’s Schedule Is A Filthy Lie

Because their lips are moving.
A historical documentary with Moar Dakka!

Stupid Michael Bay Benghazi Movie ’13 Hours’ Sorely Lacking In Giant Robots

According to rightwing bloggers having jizzspasms over Michael Bay's new Benghazi movie, 13 Hours is certain to sink Hillary Clinton's hopes of ever being president. But this loud, excessively long (two-and-a-half hours, Alan!) wargasm doesn't actually mention the former...

‘Democrat’ Jim Webb Pretty Sure It’s CNN’s Fault He’s Not Going To Be President

Hey, all you-all, let's all point and laugh at this crybaby loser dick-mold Jim Webb boo-hooing all over himself because he losered the Democratic debate on Tuesday night: “It was rigged in terms of who was going to get time...

Meet Kentucky’s New Cock-Fightin’ Teabaggin’ Gov. Matt Bevin!

Kentucky's a hell of a drug. Extra-crispy wingnut Matt Bevin was too crazy even for Republican primary voters to send him to the Senate in place of RINO Majority Leader Mitch McConnell in 2014, so the whole state decided Bevin...

Future Not-Speaker Jason Chaffetz Very Sad He Found Bupkis On Planned Parenthood

So this smegma-guzzling ferret, Rep. Jason Chaffetz of Utah, we were talking about him just the other day, remember? Because HAHAHAHA he thinks maybe he will be the next Drinker of the House. (Spoiler: He will not.) We ran through...
We got a great deal on last year's memes!

Did Racist Dems Call Latinos ‘Taco Bowls’? Or Are Wingnuts Kind Of Dense? Just Guess!

What's more likely? Racist Democrats making up brand-new (and awkward) slurs for Latinos, or wingnuts ignoring context completely?
Drunk idea man.

Drunk John Boehner Knows Congressional Democrats Are The Real Oregon Shooter

John Boehner had 11 shots of cheap Irish whiskey, or as he likes to call it, "breakfast," and decided it's a good day to jizz some thoughts out of his cry-hole about what REALLY causes mass shootings. Is it guns? Nah....

Craven Dicksnot Rep. Jason Chaffetz CAN’T WAIT To Investigate Obama’s ‘Wire Tapp’ On Trump!

Jason Chaffetz needs to go feast on a bag of dicks.