Neither a gentleman nor a scholar

Donald Trump Wins Trump University Lawsuits, Has To Pay Out $25 Million For Some Reason

The man who never settles has settled. Probably because he loves America so much.

Union Boss Ain’t Give A Sh*t About Donald Trump’s Flying Monkeys And Death Threats

Trump is so over the 'being presidential' thing. Hey, maybe he'll turn serious after he's inaugurated. Sure he will!
Sailor Moon died for your sins

Office Depot Apologizes For Killing Free Speech, Jesus

Thank heavens, the latest attempt to oppress Christians in America has been thwarted. The CEO of Office Depot has apologized to a nice "pro-life" lady after an employee at one of its Chicago-area stores refused to print 500 copies...

Why Did ‘The Media’ Investigate Trump’s Veteran’s Donations Instead Of Complimenting Him? UNFAIR!

Is this how you Make America Great Again? By questioning Donald Trump?

Maine Gov. Paul LePage Explains Death Is Most Effective Overdose Treatment

Maine Gov. Paul LePage, a man with a three-page entry in the book 1000 Reasons Space Aliens Should Vaporize Earth, Just To Be Sure, vetoed a bill Wednesday that would have allowed pharmacists to dispense the anti-overdose drug naloxone...
The Yoogest Story Ever Told

Trump Religious Freedom Order Far Too Stupid For ACLU To Take To Court

The ACLU has a lot of Netflix to catch up on, and therefore will BRB.
WikiLeaks needs more lady rasslin'

Wikileaks Really Mad Somebody Leaked CIA Report Before Russia Could

Life During InfoWartime.

North Carolina Done Trying To Inspect Your Pieces While You Poop: A Nice Time!

Turns out, picking on transgender people is BAD FOR BUSINESS!

Oh Go Fuck Yourself, Kayleigh McEnany

How are pro-Trump idiots responding to Donald Trump Jr.'s Russian conspiracy confessions? This is how.

Teabagger Rep. Jason Chaffetz Says Only He Is Sexy Enough To Be Next House Speaker

Ever since House Speaker John Boehner announced his October surprise at the end of September, probably because he was too drunk to read his calendar, Republicans have been whipping out their boomsticks to see whose is big and bad...
Big Hat. No Health Care

Texas Is In Your Planned Parenthood Records, Fapping To Your Pap Smears

Last week, Texas notified Planned Parenthood of its intention to cut Medicaid funds to the health care provider because heavy-handed intrusion into its citizens' reproductive health is about as "Texas" as adults chest-painting for youth football games. Citing heavily...

Whom Are We Deporting Today?

The World Is Terrible!!! Let us distract you from this Deportationpalooza with Cat Porn!

Hey, Remember That Time Meghan McCain Begged Donald Trump For A Job?

The Meghan McCain of 2016 is taking her toys and going home or something, GRRRRR SHE IS MAD.

Obama Saves Alaska! Wonkagenda For Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Obama saves Alaska, Trump's spawn tried steal some cash, and Chris Christie just got screwed! Your Daily News Brief
Yes, he's a monster

Florida Gov. Rick Scott Does Douchebag Thing, Because He Is Douchebag

Hip-hooray and WE TOLD YOU SO. We reported last week on the hottest new trend in ladyparts healthcare, which is getting your vaginal business district checked out at mobile eye care or mobile dental units. It's efficient! Unless you're...

Senate Sunday: Colorado Republicans Go Do Some Election-Fraud Crimes!

This 2016 election is not looking all that great for the Republicans holding on to the Senate. Democrats only need to pick up five seats to retake control, and with Donald Trump at the top of the ticket, the...