Politics

Sawed-off shotguns: They're in the Constitution!

Here’s How The Second Amendment Has Prevented Tyranny Lately

While we know guns had nothing to do with the tragedy today that took the lives of Virginia TV station WDBJ reporter Alison Parker and cameraman Adam Ward, in addition to the suicide of the shooter, a disgruntled former...
Stupidest living human? Why not.

Mike Huckabee: If Gays Can Get Married, That Means We Can Buy Black People, Right?

Time for a multiple choice question! Is Mike Huckabee: The world's stupidest living human? Filled with such a seething irrational hatred for gay people, possibly a hatred that lives deep inside his shame-filled Huckapenis, that he literally can't make brain thoughts...
Imagine this on MONEY.

Republicans Rank Hottest Chicks In America On A Scale Of Zero To Ben Carson’s Mom

So, about that big Donald Trump sausage party last night, the one that Carly Fiorina crashed like a common girl who doesn't know how to read a "NO GIRLS ALLOWED" sign on the side of a treehouse? Yeah, that...
Drunk idea man.

Clinton Email Bombshell: John Boehner Probably Blackout Drunk Right Now

Monday brought us another end-of-month dump of like 7000 Hillary Clinton emails from the State Department, and the most important things we learned are: she likes The Good Wife and Parks and Recreation, she wrote the goofiest diplomatic email...
Nothing more patriotic than a flag-waving beaver shot

Homeschool Mom Protests ‘Muslim Indoctrination’ At School Her Kids Don’t Attend

A super-patriotic homeschooling Tennessee mom organized a protest Friday against what she was pretty sure is Islamic indoctrination of children in the public schools, although she pulled her own child out of the public school system last year because...
Lecture us a little more about morality, please -- it's hilarious!

Tyrant Obama Puts Dinesh D’Souza In Gulag For Crime Of Loving America Too Much

Dinesh D'Souza, the pseudointellectual troll who made a movie about the dishonesty and untrustworthiness of Barack Hussein Obama (do we even know who the man really is?) and the moral scold who had to resign a cushy job as...
Two more beneficiaries of unrestricted access to firearms

TV Reporter And Cameraman Shot To Death On Air, Because America

A Virginia TV reporter and cameraman were shot dead on live TV while reporting in Moneta, Virginia, Wednesday morning, and it is definitely too soon to suggest that maybe all the guns floating around the nation are in any way...

Wonkette Hero Evan Hurst Destroys Michele & Marcus Bachmann (VIDEO)

Evan Hurst, everybody! Wonkette's favorite son!
SEXXXXXXXXX

Mike Huckabee Begs Judge To Send Him To Jail, Make Him Sexy Christian Martyr Too

So, Kim Davis is having a big day! First she woke up in a jail cell and chatted with her bunkmate Myrtle about the best way to hide a shiv inside a Bible (cut out all the compassionate Jesus...
Maybe the demon sheep did it

Carly Fiorina Did GREAT Job With Hewlett-Packard. Too Bad It Was In Iran.

So here's a thing: You know how, on her first day in office, Carly Fiorina would call the Supreme Leader of Iran and tell him the nuke deal is off? If that happens (it won't), chances are good the...
If you can pick out the Girl Reagan, you win an Obamaphone!

Who Let A Girl Into Donald Trump’s Sausage Party? Liveblogging The GOP Debate

Lord have mercy what the fuck was that? It was the Kids' Table Debate, for the kids! Now let's watch the real Top Ten candidates, and also Carly Fiorina as "Carly," clawing each other to death (MEOW HISS!), and making...
Boom! Take that, Mexico!

Trump Bodyguard Slugs Hispanican Protester, Seals GOP Nomination For Boss

Donald Trump's security detail put its best fists forward in a confrontation with Latino protesters outside the Trump Tower Thursday, ripping away a protest sign and coldcocking a protester who tried to grab it back. When you watch this...
Actually, Texas isn't so big on the 'Thinking' either. Just sit there and don't make trouble, OK?

Texas Teen Builds Clock, Gets Arrested For ‘Bomb Hoax.’ Did We Mention He’s Muslim? Yeah.

An Irving, Texas, teenager who loves tinkering with electronics and computers learned an important lesson this week about the American values of hard work, individual initiative, and original thinking this week. And that lesson is that if you exhibit...
Oh look, it's the new face of terror: A bright 14-year old. But he's Muslim!!!!!!!!

Wingnuts Have Had It With That Muslim Teen Terrorist Ahmed Mohamed And His ‘Science’

Of course there's a backlash. Couldn't possibly have any story about a Muslim kid mistakenly accused of making a hoax bomb and then showered with love from fellow geeks, and have that be the end of it. Gotta gin...
How Not to Protect America

Armed Idiot Protects Oklahoma Gun Store From Muslims By Shooting Himself

In Oktaha, Oklahoma, the owners of a local survivalist shop and gun range decided last week that it was high time to jump on the "Muslim-free zone" gravy train, because there's a whole lot of ISIS activity in the...

Idaho State Senator Says Obamacare Just Like The Holocaust, Because Of Course It Is

Idaho state Senator Sheryl Nuxoll does not like this Obamacare thing one bit, and she also does not like that Idaho Gov. Butch Otter is supporting legislation to set up a state health exchange, because what kind of freedom-loving...