State/Local Politics

His legacy shredded.

New Louisiana Governor Will Fill Bobby Jindal’s Seat With So Much Gayness

Elections matter, y'all. With term-limited Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal leaving office to spend more time begging the Duck Dynasty guys to let him be one of their white friends, voters had a choice: Do we pick that nice gay-hatin'...
It's not personal. It's only business.

Maine Gov. Paul LePage Is An A-Hole, Chapter Eleventeen Billion

As we all know, Maine Gov. Paul Lepage is a hateful asshat who runs on a diet of pure bile and boiled orphans. So it wasn't a huge surprise when he was alleged to have threatened state funding for...

Court Tells Jeff Sessions To Get Fucked, AGAIN!

Jeff Sessions will protect immigrants by cutting off their access to legal assistance. What a guy!
These are not the KKKinder and Gentler Hello KKKitties

FBI Ruins Nice White Power Rangers’ Plan To Kill All The Blacks And Jewishes

The FBI went and ruined some white supremacist guys' plotĀ for setting off a glorious Race War, arresting three Virginia men who had big plans for a campaign of terror that fortunately never got any further than the Dream Big...
A year is plenty of time to stop being poor.

Arizona Hopes To Out-LePage Maine, Screw Poors Harder Than Any Other State

Arizona now has the most punitive restrictions on cash payments to poor families with kids. Don't worry, some other state is certain to steal that honor.
We're only doing this to get your attention

Racist Maine Gov. Paul LePage Ready To Duel Anyone Who Calls Him Racist

Apparently LePage thinks it's cool to say you want to murder a legislator, as long as you only want to murder him in a duel in 1825.
At least now they can explain every tornado for the next ten years

Ten Commandments Removed From Oklahoma Capitol, Governor Would Kill To Get Them Back

The day after workers yanked the big ol' Ten Commandments Monument from the Oklahoma Capitol grounds and moved it to a conservative think tank, Oklahoma Gov. Mary Fallin called on the state legislature to pass an amendment to the...
I'm Janet! I'm an asshole!

White Republican Congresslady Has Badass Idea For Getting Rid Of Black Congresslady

Wonkers, meet a nominee for the coveted Legislative Shitmuffin Of The Year prize. Her name is Rep. Janet Adkins, and she is a Republican congresslady from Florida. Is she a asshole? Well, if she kisses her own ass with...

Texas Two-Step: Courts’ Rulings On Districting Fuckery Step To The Side For A While

Before the storm, Texas was facing a political earthquake. Now????
Roy Blunt (r) has kind of a creepy smile

Your Senate Sunday: Missouri Democrat Jason Kander Really Wants To Roll A Blunt

For an article about the Senate race involving Roy Blunt, you'd think this piece would have a lot more weed jokes.
Yeah yeah yeah, Brokeback was set in Wyoming, WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE?

Montana Governor Givin’ Special Rights To Them Brokeback Mountain Types Now

Seems like not a day goes by lately where some unelected lawyer in a robe or elected politician wearing pants of some sort doesn't declare war on Jesus and Christmas and good Christian common sense by forcing the gay...

Racist Assholes Want To Rally In Portland Now, And Wonkette (SIGH) Is With Them, Ugh

Free speech is a pain in the ass. We don't have any better ideas, though.

You Know What The Bundy Gang Really Needed? A Stolen .50 Cal Machine Gun.

Just imagine what fun the Bundy Militia could have had during their occupation of a federal wildlife refuge if they'd had a .50 caliber machine gun!
The 'moderate' one

Ohio Anti-Choicers So Mad John Kasich Won’t Just Outlaw All The Abortions Already

Last week, Ohio Governor John Kasich passed a law outlawing abortions after 20 weeks. In doing so, he also vetoed a bill passed by the Ohio legislature that would outlaw abortions after about six weeks, which would have given...
My Sharia more

Oklahoma Spending All Its Natty Ice Money Investigating ‘Threat Of Islam.’ Yes, In Oklahoma

An Oklahoma legislator wants to spend taxpayer money to determine how big a threat radical Islamic terrorists pose to the Sooner State. 'Not Much.' There, now he can refund the state treasury.