Also BREAKING NEWS: Alabama Gov. Kay Ivey is proudly voting for the kid-toucher!
Everyone is pissseed at Al Franken, Democrats get high hopes, AND MORE!
Mitch McConnell has A PLAN to save the Alabama Senate Seat. He'll get a woman to save his bacon. That'll work.
THE DOSSIER gets spicey, Trump U. is back, and Steve Mnuchin has a cash problem. Your morning news brief.
Hello, Roy Moore's 6th and 7th accusers. Tell us your stories!
We're pretty sure 2017 hasn't even reached PEAK STUPID yet.
What in the ACTUAL fuck did we just watch?
Who you gonna believe, 30 witnesses or 'MAGA Doug'?
God did say His people would be hated for loving him too much.
Republicans gotta dance with the one that brung 'em!
Julian Assange offered to help Trump in exchange for the Australian ambassadorship. Is that bad? And Trump took clean coal to Newcastle. But not Puerto Rico! They're handled by Whitefish. Your morning news brief!
Just kidding, but let's point and laugh at Breitbart setting its dick on fire and eating it again.
This is truly groundbreaking.
These assholes cannot stop falling all over themselves to defend alleged child molester Roy Moore!
These people think they are morally superior to the rest of us.
Trump insults the US (again), Paul Ryan is losing tax reform, and Maria Bartiromo melts the fuck down. Your morning news brief!