Courts

SCOTUS Semi-Nice Time: It’s Slightly Harder To Death Penalty People In Florida Now

Thanks to the conservatives having a 5-4 majority at the Supreme Court of these here United States, every term is another opportunity for the complete dismantling of pretty much everything we liberals hold dear. That's why we're always surprised...

Your James Comey Firing Shitshow! Wonkagenda For Wed., May 10, 2017

Comey on everyone's lips, more about James Comey, and some stories about James Comey. Your morning news brief!

All Hail The Sacred MAGA Hat, Object Of Religious Devotion, No, Really

A message from the Church Of Trolling
Bye Now. Bye-Bye!

Florida Prosecutor Can Send Anyone To Prison (Except George Zimmerman)

A profile of the prosecutor who let Trayvon Martin's killer escape justice shows that at least she's really good at locking up young people, hooray.
The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, Presented By Fartknocker

John McCain Promises To Keep Supreme Court Crippled Until President Palin Elected In 2020

John McCain says President Hillary can't have no Supreme Court justices. THANKS OBAMA.

Trump Finds A Website Worse Than Fox News. Wonkagenda For Mon., Nov. 27, 2017

The GOP still can't figure out what it's doing, REXXON is blowing off security briefings, and Melon Trump hates being FLOTUS. Your post-vacay morning news brief!

Call The Joo Lawyer Cause Roy Moore Is SO SUED

'Don't take the law into your own hands — take 'em to court.'

Another Muslim Ban, Another Judicial Smackdown. Sad!

Another Muslim Ban? Again with this shit?
See? Grammar not a problem.

Texas Couple Fights To Keep Kids Good And Stupid, The Way Jesus Likes ‘Em

There are no times tables at the Second Coming, that's what yr Wonkette always says. And apparently Michael and Laura McIntyre of El Paso agree with us, as they are suing the state of Texas for their God-given right...

Radical Liberal Judges Affirm Bizarre Transgender Pooping Rituals

Whoa, it's a new day in America, and you know why? A thing happened that is GOOD for transgender people, specifically involving their God-given right to drop the kids off at the pool in public places. For real! A...
Fred Stein, 'Children reading newspaper' 1936

Wonkagenda: September 15, 2016

You get in here and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW!

John Bolton Wants To Pick A Fight! Wonkagenda for Thursday, December, 15, 2016

Trump scares weapons merchants, John Bolton scares everybody, and Alex Jones learns about "The Streisand Effect". Your daily news brief!

Jeff Sessions Wants to Jail Mean Journos. Wonkagenda for Thurs., Oct. 19, 2017

Jeff Sessions tries not to perjure himself (again), Trump rips off an ACA band-aid (again), and Trey Gowdy is being ignored like a common Democrat. Your morning news brief!

Trump Already An Old Man Yelling At His TV! Wonkagenda for Thursday, December 8, 2016

Donald Trump cancels inauguration golden shower and Ted Cruz goes limp for queso. Your morning news brief!

Trump: But Is Killing Journalists Really *Wrong*? Wonkagenda For Mon., Feb. 6, 2017

Trump professes his love of Putin (again!), the FCC hates poor people, and Silicone Valley nerds write a love letter to immigrants. Your Morning news brief!

You’re All Making Princess Ivanka SO Sad! Wonkagenda for Mon., June 12, 2017

The Senate Intel Committee wants to hear from everyone, DC and Maryland are suing Trump, and Princess Ivanka has a sad. Your morning news brief!