National Politics

Roy Moore Went To An Underage Brothel And Didn’t Even Fuck Kids A Little Bit (ALLEGEDLY)

Don't you want to vote for Roy Moore now?

Trump Hands Kirsten Gillibrand Knife, Begs Her To Chop Off His Peener

Is this the dumbest, most ill-advised fight Donald Trump has ever picked? Oh, we think so!

Trump Just Called Kirsten Gillibrand A Whore. Wonkagenda For Tues., Dec. 12, 2017

Don't think we've ever actually been shocked by a Trump tweet before. Your morning news brief.

Hide Your Daughters, America, It’s Your Roy Moore Pre-Election Roundup!

DON'T DO THIS, ALABAMA. VOTE FOR DOUG JONES RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.

There Is A Problem When We Can’t Keep Track Of The School Shootings

This isn't what we hope for, no.

Science: FAILING New York Times More Badder At Election Coverage Than Ass-Fucking Mommyblog

Science proves Wonkette is actually more valuable to the polity than the Paper of Record. You're shocked, we're sure!

How Is Robert Mueller The Literal Devil Today?

The howler monkeys WILL NOT STOP FUCKING HOWLING about how Robert Mueller, one of the most respected law enforcement officials in American history, IS A BIG GAY UNFAIR HILLARY LOVER.

The 69,872 Most Crazy-Ass Scoops In Maggie Haberman’s New Profile Of King Trump

HE DOES NOT WATCH 8 HOURS OF TV A DAY, SHUT UP FAKE NEWS.

Trump Adores Self At Civil Rights Museum. Wonkagenda For Mon., Dec. 11, 2017

Trump loves himself at civil rights museum, old white people make excuses for pedophillia, and Judge Jeanine goes off the rails (again). Your morning news brief.
P.S.: I am not a crank

Deleted Comments: I’m Against Abortion, So I Wish You’d Been Miscarried. I’ll Pray For You.

We said bad words about Sarah Huckabee Poot Lips Sanders. What discussing pugs we are!

Trump Officially Less Popular Than Ass Lice, And We Have Women To Thank!

SEVENTY-FIVE PERCENT of American women are pretty much ready for Donald Trump to fuck RIGHT off.

The Female Body Has Ways To Shut That Whole ‘Rep. Trent Franks’ Thing Down

We're not saying it was aliens, but it was aliens.

Roy Moore Accuser Wrote Date In Yearbook, So Obviously All Women Are Forging Liars

Shouldn't we just take the accused rapist's word on this?

But Donald Trump Jr.’s Russian Emails! Dear LORD, His Fuckin’ Russian Emails!

Oh for Christ's sake, can we just lock him the fuck up already?
Little angel babies!

DOJ Finally Investigating Planned Parenthood’s Fetus-Parts Yard Sales

2015's hottest fake news story is now a real Justice Department investigation.