Don't you want to vote for Roy Moore now?
Is this the dumbest, most ill-advised fight Donald Trump has ever picked? Oh, we think so!
Don't think we've ever actually been shocked by a Trump tweet before. Your morning news brief.
TO SAY THE LEAST.
DON'T DO THIS, ALABAMA. VOTE FOR DOUG JONES RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.
This isn't what we hope for, no.
Science proves Wonkette is actually more valuable to the polity than the Paper of Record. You're shocked, we're sure!
The howler monkeys WILL NOT STOP FUCKING HOWLING about how Robert Mueller, one of the most respected law enforcement officials in American history, IS A BIG GAY UNFAIR HILLARY LOVER.
HE DOES NOT WATCH 8 HOURS OF TV A DAY, SHUT UP FAKE NEWS.
Trump loves himself at civil rights museum, old white people make excuses for pedophillia, and Judge Jeanine goes off the rails (again). Your morning news brief.
We said bad words about Sarah Huckabee Poot Lips Sanders. What discussing pugs we are!
SEVENTY-FIVE PERCENT of American women are pretty much ready for Donald Trump to fuck RIGHT off.
We're not saying it was aliens, but it was aliens.
Shouldn't we just take the accused rapist's word on this?
Oh for Christ's sake, can we just lock him the fuck up already?
2015's hottest fake news story is now a real Justice Department investigation.