Elections

Didn't we settle this already? Silly us -- we thought that was the case with the Civil War, too!

GOP Platform Includes Big Wet Kiss To Bundy Terrorist Crowd, Big F-You To Parks And Hippies

The Republican Platform Committee has adopted a position on eliminating federal ownership of public lands that could have been written by deadbeat rancher Cliven Bundy. Who knows, maybe it was!
It's not the bunny suit per se that bothers me. It's the inevitable fan art.

Deleted Comments: Stop Failing To Recognize Donald Trump’s Genius!

There was another horrific terrorist attack in Europe last week, and so there were, as seems to be mandatory, a whole bunch of Internet Commandos ready to put the tragedy into its proper context, which is The Muslims Want...

Trump Revisits Golden Oldie, Peeing On ‘The Dossier.’ Again.

Maybe he should just quit pretending and fire the Cabinet. Clearly the idiots at Fox are running the country anyway.

These Skeevy Douchey Trump PAC Alleged Crimers Could Not Be Skeevier, Douchier, Crimier. LOOK AT THEM!

It's amazing how much flexibility in the campaign finance laws the prospect of a couple million bucks can find.

Every Word Of Paul Ryan’s Thoughtful, Sober, Bipartisan New Ad Is A Hilarious Lie

Paul Ryan is making mouth sounds again claiming to be soooo bipartisan, and thoughtful, and not like those other dicks in the Republican party and the House, which he is the head of. Paul Ryan doesn't hate poor people...

Mexican President Is Willing To Meet With President Trump, PROBABLY To Discuss Wall Payment

Trump's plan to force Mexico to pay for the wall is totally foolproof.
SO UNFAIR!

Trump Frets November Election Is ‘Rigged’ Since He Might Not Win

Donald Trump is already preparing for the revolution that must surely be sparked if Americans fail to vote for him.

Jeb Bush Surrenders To France, Declares War On Questions

Oh, Jeb. Poor dumb sad sack of cringe-inducing pathetic loser J.E.B. Bush. What kind of stupid did you trip and fall into now? Trying to explain away a prior stupid and just making it worse, as per usual and also as...
We'd probably watch this 'Northern Exposure' spinoff.

Nobody Needs To Spell Lisa Murkowski’s Weirdass Name Right This Time: Your Senate Sunday

There are strange things done in the midnight sun, like this year's race for the U.S. Senate. No, we're not going to do a full 'Cremation of Sam McGee' parody, sorry.

Fox Surrenders Unconditionally To Donald Trump. There Will Be No Survivors.

Are we done here? Why yes, we believe we are done here. Technically, Donald Trump is not the Republican presidential nominee yet. Technically, we still have to suffer through more Canadian fart sounds from the foul-faced Ted Cruz. Also,...
They like representation! They really like representation!

More Bad News For Republicans: Americans SO Gay For Labor Unions

So here's a big fuckin' deal: Despite decades of declining union membership (thanks, "right to work" laws!), a new Gallup poll shows that, for the first time since the recession, a majority of Americans like labor unions again: Americans' approval...
Scootaloo is a skateboard punk rocker. Let's hope she ends up saner than Michelle Shocked.

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Hyprocrocy Is One Of My Biggest Pet Peaves!!!!

How can Michelle Obama say Trump is a gropey creeper when some people sing songs about sex? It is a mystery!
President Ted Cruz (R-Not Really)

Republicans Lining Up To Punch Foreigner Ted Cruz Right In His Poutine Curds

Oh damn, all y'all. Things are not looking good for our hero, Cuban-Canadian Ted Cruz of Texas. And by hero, we mean actual skin sack of bile who deserves all the scorn and the rage and the gratuitous name-calling and face-punching....

Donald Trump Attacks VA Dem Ralph Northam, Gets More Than He Bargained For

Donald Trump wants to Make the Confederacy Great Again
still as cool and edgy as ever

James O’Keefe Gets Democratic Operatives Fired. Countdown To When He Pays Them $100,000 Starts Now

James O'Keefe has released more dumb video that proves -- to people who believe it already -- the election is rigged.
I promise I'll be gentle

Jeb Bush Would Like Your Electoral Cherry, Young Man

After performing well below even his own pitifully low expectations in the Iowa caucuses and spending roughly $2,884 for every one of the pitifully few votes he won there, Jeb! Bush continued on to New Hampshire, where he headed...