Congress

If anyone knows Catholicism, it's Mike Huckabee the Baptist preacher

Mike Huckabee Excommunicates Obama For Inviting Sodomites To Meet Pope

Like many rightwingers who have felt the need to turn Pope Francis's U.S. visit to into a campaign talking point, Mike Huckabee is really offended on behalf of Pope Francis, because Barack Obama went and invited some LGBT guests...

Wingnuts Tell Commie Pope To Get A Brain, Moran

The rightwing freakout over Pope Francis and his betrayal of all good things (unfettered capitalism) continues, and it seems that his address to a joint meeting of Congress doesn't seem to have made them a lot happier, probably because...

House Republicans Having No Good Very Bad Day. Let’s Point And Laugh At Them!

It's hard out there for a Republican member of Congress right now, and not just because everyone in America, including their fellow Republicans, hates their maggot-infested guts. First, John Boehner tells his caucus he is sick of their bullshit,...

Archbishop Steve King Lectures Pope On How To Catholic Good

Iowa congressmelon Steve King is a Catholic, and as a concerned member of the most strictly hierarchical religious institution on the planet, he'd like to take the opportunity to set Pope Francis straight about a few points of Catholic...

Future Not-Speaker Jason Chaffetz Very Sad He Found Bupkis On Planned Parenthood

So this smegma-guzzling ferret, Rep. Jason Chaffetz of Utah, we were talking about him just the other day, remember? Because HAHAHAHA he thinks maybe he will be the next Drinker of the House. (Spoiler: He will not.) We ran through...

RINO Kevin McCarthy Drops Out Of Speaker’s Race To Spend More Time Not Being Speaker

So ... remember how we told you that Conventional Wisdom had already elected House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy to fill John Boehner's falling-down-drunk speaker shoes, once he gets the hell out of dodge at the end of this month?...
Bless my emotion-snot, Holy Father

Pope Put Holy Spirit In John Boehner’s Butt, Forced Him To Quit

So just after the news broke this morning that John Boehner was Going Rogue like a half-term governor, the speculation about why was running wild in the Sekrit Wonkette ChatCave. A sexy affair? A campaign finance scandal? A "Dear...
Some are born dickish, some achieve dickishness, and others have dickishness thrust upon them.

Screw You Guys, Gov. Paul LePage Gonna Go Be A Senator Now

Maine Gov. Paul LePage has apparently not been paying attention to all the mail requesting that he resign, but he does at least have some thoughts about leaving office eventually. Like maybe he'll run for the U.S. Senate in...

Arizona Tea Party Hero Rep. Thinks All This Congressional Chaos Is A Blast!

With the Republican Party in COMPLETE DISARRAY, it's nice to know that at least one guy is having himself a ball! Arizona Rep. David Schweikert sponsored that whackadoodle Secret Science Reform Act of 2014, to allow tinfoil hat-wearing internet trolls their constitutional...
Troll so hard

Elizabeth Warren Loves Donald Trump’s Gay Communist Tax Plan

Hey, Senator Warren, whatcha doin? Oh, just going on "The View" and trolling the fuck out of the Republican primary by talking about how you just LOVE Donald Trump's super-liberal (read: mainstream) idea to make billionaires pay their fair...
myfriends, my friends, my friends..FIVE AND A HLAF YEARS, ALAN!

Wingnut Heroes To Arrest John McCain For Doing Bad Things

A rightwing radio talker has announced what's sure to be a turning point in the movement to restore constitutional something-or-other to the taking-back of America, and also the freedom and such as, for our once-great nation, hooray! Calling the...
Idea hat.

Louie Gohmert Says He’ll Quit Congress Over Iran Deal, Bye Dumbass!

All these Republican wingnut jokesters, making promises they never keep! So Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Asparagus Aspersions) is very, very upset about the Iran deal, because it's not a treaty, which means Iran won't pay any attention to it, and...

Dear Republicans, Could You Please Stop Crying And Do Your Jobs For Five Minutes?

With all of the drunk-quitting and SEX SCANDALS and absolute all-out civil war DRAMA in the Republican Party, and grown-ass men crying (literally, CRYING!) because the nihilist wing of the party is so mean, you probably forgot there's this small...

Here’s Elizabeth Warren Yelling At A Wall Street Bankster, Because You Love That Crap

She's doing what she does best, and OH, it is some quality viewing!

Harry Reid Says Donald Trump Not Very Well Endowed, With Dollars

Donald Trump is SO SENSITIVE about this! Time to pop some popcorn.
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Wonkagenda: September 21, 2016

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