Congress

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Wonkagenda: September 21, 2016

You get in here and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW!
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Wonkagenda: Tuesday, September 20, 2016

You get in here and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW!

Too Bad Harry Reid’s Too Shy To Say What He Really Thinks Of Donald Trump

JUST KIDDING, HE IS NOT BEING SHY, HE IS BEING A TOTAL BADASS.

Nancy Pelosi Just Cold Trollin’ Paul Ryan Now, And Also She Hatin’

Pelosi can't stop chuckle-snorting about what a weenus Paul Ryan is, and it's GREAT.

GOP Congressman Would Like To Do Some Texas Justice To Rapist Brock Turner. No, For Real.

Trigger warning, because this Republican might just make you cry. Or cheer. Or both.

John McCain Furious Obama Shot Up Orlando, Created ISIS, Bought Last Bag Of Werther’s Originals

John McCain blamed Barack Obama for the mass shooting in Orlando, because his brain just works like that sometimes.

Senate Republicans Quite Conflicted About Whether To Do Their Job

Oh, what an awkward spot of bother the Grand Old Party has found itself in. Again. Approximately one half second after the world learned of the sudden vacancy on the Supreme Court (and oh yeah, P.S., thoughts and prayers to Antonin...

Here Is Your Daily Affirmation That Republicans Are Dicks

We don't need any reminders that Republicans are the worst. Like, ever again. Seriously, we are all good with this lifetime supply already. Sadly, that doesn't stop them from jumping up and down and waving their hands in the air...

America Might Not Have Embarrassing Clown Louie Gohmert To Kick Around Any More

Presidential candidates aren't the only thing Texas is going to play Hold 'Em with on Super Tuesday, as there is also GOHMERS! Texas Congresscritter Louis Bumblescrunch Gohmert IV (R-Some Shithole) is under attack in his own backyard! No, not from...
Come at me, Bro!

There Goes Badass Harry Reid, Trolling The Living Hell Out Of Donald Trump

Harry Reid is pretty sure Donald Trump is too stupid and uninformed to take the US citizenship test. Harry Reid is correct.

Trey Gowdy Accidentally Admits Hillary Clinton Didn’t Benghazi Anyone (Except Vince Foster)

Benghazi investigation chair Trey Gowdy's long, drawlin' roundabout way of saying, 'I apologize to America for wastin' everybody's time for so long, I will leave public service forever and find a job I am better suited for, like makin' taxidermied beavers kiss each other on their purty mouths.'

Paul Ryan SO MAD At Disrespectful Dems And Their Terrible Horrible Sit-In

Paul Ryan said he wouldn't dwell on the shocking lack of decorum in the House by Democrats who were staging a sit-in to call attention to gun violence. Then he very indecorously dismissed the action as a "publicity stunt" for the sole purpose of raising funds.
ELEVEN HOURS, ALAN!

What The Benghazi Hearing Taught Us: Republicans Are Dicks, Hillary Already President

Oh. My. God. Becky! Did you see it? Did you see the Republican-led Benghazi committee interrogate Hillary Clinton for 11 FUCKING HOURS (AND WE KNOW BECAUSE WE WATCHED THE WHOLE THING, GIVE US MONEY), and somehow fail to land a single...

Every Word Of Paul Ryan’s Thoughtful, Sober, Bipartisan New Ad Is A Hilarious Lie

Paul Ryan is making mouth sounds again claiming to be soooo bipartisan, and thoughtful, and not like those other dicks in the Republican party and the House, which he is the head of. Paul Ryan doesn't hate poor people...

Can This Nice Trans Lady Beat Gross Teabagger GOP Sen. Mike Lee In November?

Misty K. Snow MAKES HISTORY as the first major party trans U.S. Senate Candidate. Hooray, Misty!

Guess Why Elizabeth Warren Is Mighty Pissed At Republicans This Time

It has been far too long since we have watched our favorite lady senator from Massachusetts schoolmarm at Republicans, for sucking. So we are overdue. You know why Sen. Elizabeth Queen o' Our Hearts Warren is mad at Republicans...