US of America News

ELEVEN HOURS, ALAN!

GOP Wants To Waste Our Time With Another Hillary Clinton Investigation, Hooray!

Ooh, maybe they'll find the smoking gun this time!

Deleted Comments: Six Faces Of Derp

Yr Wonkette was invaded this week by an entire horde of this one guy.

Wingnut Debbie Schlussel Says Sean Hannity Perved All Over Her (Must Be Muslim)

Harassment at Fox News? THAT'S UNPOSSIBLE!

Dinesh D’Souza Tweet Too Gross Even For Dinesh D’Souza. OR NOT.

Jesus thinks this guy is a laff riot.
Who ya got?

Donald Trump Wishes He Could Haul Off And Punch DNC Speakers Like BAM! So Hard

Donald Trump says he'd really like to hit some of the speakers at the Democratic convention really hard. Metaphorically. For now.

Ted Cruz Pulls Down Pants, Farts All Over Mike Pence’s Big Night

Ted Cruz's speech at the Republican National Convention really brought the room to life. Luckily for Cruz, no one was distributing torches and pitchforks.

Michele Bachmann So Mad Obama Made It Legal To Beat Up White People

We can hardly believe it either (because it is not true)!

Art Found

This letter was found in my mother's house outside Tecumseh, Oklahoma. It was written by Quillaine, her fourth-grade student at 61st Street School in South-Central Los Angeles. It is a war crime that it was never sent. Dear Bush My...
To be sure, the gay bears tend not to be too overt at mosques

American Hero Heads To Prison For Threatening To Kill Muslims Because Fox News Told Him To

A man in La Mesa, California, was sentenced Wednesday after pleading guilty last year to leaving voicemails threatening to shoot employees of the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR). He has a really good excuse, though: the Fox News made him...
reply hazy, will be sorted out by Executive Order

Obama’s Labor Day Executive Order So Un-American That It Helps Workers

Happy Labor Day Weekend, WonkSquad! Are you spending it like your average American worker, drunk and with your family? Or are you spending it like your average Corporate Fat Cat, drunk and with your secret second family in upstate...

Dems Stop Being Pussies For Five Minutes, Promise To Dickslap This Neil Gorsuch Douche

Can't very well NOT oppose this corporate tool.
Your tax dollars at work

Team Of Evils: Education Nominee Betsy DeVos Hates Public Schools, Satan. Did We Get Lucky?

Yeah, this one's about as awful as you'd expect, too.
Now here's a man who LOVES the Hispanics and their taco bowls

Trump Dinner: He Moved On Comey Like A Bitch, But He Couldn’t Get There!

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH DONALD TRUMP?

Rand Paul Thought Of Banning Muslims First. How Come Trump Gets All The Credit?

Rand Paul. Remember that guy? Nah, probably not. He is a "doctor" and a "senator" and technically still a Republican presidential candidate, although honestly, we haven't thought about him in weeks. But damnit, he would really like some attention please!...