US of America News

Carly Fiorina: Sure, I’m A Liar, But Argle Bargle Liberal Media Grrr Argh

GOP presidential hopeful Carly Fiorina just loves her juicy fibs. Bill Clinton's wife has never been criticized for her appearance for basically all of the last 25 years. She WATCHED THE VIDEO! of Planned Parenthood doing bad things that she could not have...
Everybody in his club has to get this hat.

WND Publisher Just Asking: Will Obama Indict Hillary To Stay In Office Forever? (Yes, Obviously)

Joseph Farah, America's top conspiracy theorist, has figured out yet another way Barack Obama might make himself dictator for life. We're persuaded!

Look How Jeb Winned The Debate!

Jeb Bush has not been doing so good at this running for president thing. Thus, the pathetic Jeb Can Fix It reboot of his campaign, which will lead Jeb to a glorious "comeback" ... eventually. One of Jeb's problems, among...

Dinesh D’Souza Tweet Too Gross Even For Dinesh D’Souza. OR NOT.

Jesus thinks this guy is a laff riot.
Gaul is supposed to be a big deal, but it's very disappointing. Terrible golf. Sad!

Donald Trump Gives Serious Foreign Policy Speech Like A Big Boy

Now that Donald Trump has declared himself the Republican Nominee, High Pooh-Bah, and All-Father of the World (Dilute! Dilute!), it's time for him to start Acting Presidential, so he gave a Very Serious Foreign Policy Address today. How serious...

Iowa Rep. Steve King Worried Transgenders Will Make Ladies’ Armpits All Gross And Sweaty

He can smell what's coming, and PEE YEW!

Deleted Comments: Wonkette Is As Terribel As I Say You Are

A veritable cornucopia of Derp

Bryan Fischer Wants To Watch You Pee

Fischer says unisex bathrooms are UNFAIR, because he is not a god-hating 'unisex' we guess.
Well done, Maine Lege!

Maine Legislature Tells Gov. Paul LePage To F*ck Himself Right In The Ear

A nice-time update, at least insofar as anything involving opioid overdoses can be considered "nice": On Friday, the Maine Legislature voted overwhelmingly to override Gov. Paul LePage's veto of a bill to allow pharmacists to dispense the anti-overdose drug...
What, not that Keystone?

President Obama Will Not Be Laying Any Keystone Pipe Today

This post sponsored by a grant from the Patty Dumpling Endowed Chair for blogging about oil spills, pipelines, oil industry shenanigans, and the end of civilization as Republicans know it. Beat the drum slowly and play the fife lowly, all...

Obama Designates Two New National Monuments. Normal, Non-Jerk People Think This Is Great!

Wednesday was a very good day for protection of the West's endangered places.

Florida Patriots Issue Fatwa Against Sheriff For Hiring Muslim Deputy

// So here's a charming story from Florida: a group of anti-Islam wingnuts is attempting to get a Broward County sheriff's deputy fired because he's (gasp!) Muslim. Deputy Nezar Hamze hasn't actually done anything more questionable than practice his...
Fun at parties.

Jeb Bush’s Mother Disappointed But Not Surprised Son Is Drug-Smoking Loser

At the end of the debate Wednesday night, all the candidates were asking their moms' permission if they could PLEASE go do something together afterward, PLEASE? Donald Trump said everybody could crash at his house, and Marco Rubio and...
You've made her angry. You won't like it when she's angry.

Watch Elizabeth Warren Rip A New One For Regulator Who Took A Nap During 2008 Meltdown

Welcome to episode seven million of our popular series, "Elizabeth Warren Gets Righteous On A Douchebag." The schmuck in the hot seat this time around is one Leonard Chanin, who during the George W. Bush administration was Deputy Director...

Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder Says Flint’s Poison Water Is MMM MMM GOOD!

It's been a minute since we've checked in on the water situation in Flint, Michigan, to see if it's still sludgy and toxic and full of lead poops. Of course, since such a valiant conqueror as Republican Gov. Rick...