US of America News

NICE TIME! Judge Rules Kid Who Just Wanted To Pee Can Pee

NICETIMES AGAIN! WHAAAA????

Congress Frees Big Banks From Regulations That Kept Them Only Obscenely Profitable

Don't be ridiculous. There are no icebergs in these waters.

Michael Cohen Prison Oddsmaker For May 23, 2018: Today’s Chances Are LOL!

Put on your kicky blazer, Michael Cohen. It's JAIL TIME!

Aaron Schlossberg Is The Least Racist Person Aaron Schlossberg Knows

Fuck you, Aaron. Nobody believes you.

Betsy DeVos Wants Everyone To Be Happy. Bigots, And The Immigrant Kids They Rat Out To ICE

Since when do you expect the head of a federal agency to know anything about federal law?

Rudy Giuliani’s Mouth, Wikileaks Are Gifts That Keep On Giving

Rudy's legal strategy is ... outside the box!

Paranoid Trump Searches For Spies. Wonkagenda For Wed., May 23, 2018

Trump obsessed with spies, Michael Cohen's partner flips, and Mick Mulvaney has words about CHIP. Your morning news brief.

Portal To Hell Opens In White House Lawn. Obama Never Had One Of Those.

You know WHO ELSE never had a sinkhole on the White House lawn? All the other presidents, Katie.
still from Bee Movie with Winnie the Pooh in a rifle scope's crosshairs

Ryan Zinke To Permit Uday And Qusay Trump To Murder Bear Cubs, Too

Federally-mandated revision of 'Bambi' will have the little deer say his mother was a renewable resource, so fair's fair.

We Sure Do Hope Rod Rosenstein Knows What The Fuck He’s Doing Right Now

Maybe Rosenstein and Chris Wray have this shit under control. Maybe they don't and EVERYBODY SHOULD PANIC A LOT.

Everyone Mourns Differently. Father Of Texas School Shooter Mourns Like A Dick

Terrible how liberals blame others for their own actions. Just ask this Fox News watching NRA fan.

Duchess Meghan Markle, Bloody Feminist!

Men need to get their asses in the kitchen and fight those pots and pans too, because honestly, women are not dish slaves.

Idiot Gateway Pundit Reporter, But We Repeat Ourselves, Lectures Bernice King On Her Father, MLK

News Flash: Martin Luther King Jr. gave more than one speech, wingnuts skeptical.

Just When You Thought Michael Cohen Couldn’t Be Any Stupider, ALONG COMES THE ONION!

Michael Cohen knows bad journalism when he sees it, EVEN IN YOUR ONION.