Everywhere Else News

It's Smitin' Time!

‘Moderate’ John Kasich Only Wants To Bring Back The Crusades A Little Bit

We have to say, we never saw this one coming. In the race to see who could come up with the most insane, unconstitutional proposal in reaction to the Paris massacre, our money was on the obvious favorites, Ben...

Congress Budget Deal: Yes We (Kicked The) Can! Wonkagenda for May 1, 2017

Congress pats itself on the back, the press celebrates is self, and Sean Hannity is going to sue everyone! Your morning news brief!

Wonkagenda: Monday, August 22, 2016

You get in here and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW
Ajamu Baraka and Jill Stein

Jill Stein Didn’t Want You Dumb Old Bernie Voters Anyway

Bernie-or-Bust hardliners may find themselves getting a cool reception from the Jill Stein campaign, since Stein's VP pick considers Bernie just another war-criming imperialist.

Fox News Jackass So Excited About EgyptAir Crash, Because It’s GREAT News For Trump

TERRORISM! RADICAL MOOSLIMS! REPUBLICAN TERROR BONERS! DONALD TRUMP!
oh dear

Poor Exxon Finds Congressional White Knight To Take On Government Bullies

Thank God this nice congressman will fight off the scientists pretending global warming 'exists.'

OIL! It’s Got What Plants Crave! Wonkagenda For Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Donald Trump cancels a press conference, Congress crooks face jail time, and Jill Stein is still a embarrassing failure. Your daily news brief!

Idaho State Senator Says Obamacare Just Like The Holocaust, Because Of Course It Is

Idaho state Senator Sheryl Nuxoll does not like this Obamacare thing one bit, and she also does not like that Idaho Gov. Butch Otter is supporting legislation to set up a state health exchange, because what kind of freedom-loving...

‘Disgraceful Failure’ Le Pen Family Is Le Feuding

Probably their family dinners are very unpleasant.

Trump All GRRRR At Black People, For A Change. Wonkagenda For Mon., Sept. 25, 2017

Sportsball ruined forever, Merkel holds on, and Peggy Noonan ponders peace through Trump. Your morning news brief.

Who’ll Leak The Leakers! Wonkagenda For Mon., Feb 27, 2016

Still no 'replace' in 'repeal and,' Sean Spicer's phone problems, and Little Marco explains why he's so damn spineless! Your morning news brief!

Everything Went Wrong In Trump’s Clusterf*ck Yemen Raid. Let’s Blame Hillary Clinton!

Somebody needs to get Jason Chaffetz investigating this right away.

Donald Trump Hearts Saddam Hussein

Donald Trump thinks Saddam Hussein was an admirable role model for dealing with terrorists, because he got the job done. Why would anyone have a problem with a simple factual statement like that?

Trump Declares War On GOP For Jesus. Wonkagenda For Mon., Oct. 16, 2017

Trump brings back Christmas, Bannon goes to war, Trump can't wait to 'You're Fired' SCOTUS Democrats. Your morning news brief.
It starts with a single toke. Before you know it, you're unfreezing Iranian assets following international negotiations

Sen. Mark Kirk Says Iran Deal Makes Barack Obama A Drug Gangster Who Deals Drugs Like A Gangster

Sen. Mark Kirk says Barack Obama is the 'drug dealer in chief' for releasing frozen Iranian assets. He doesn't do metaphors very good.
Jesus is so proud of you

Magic Bible Words Protect Gun From Grubby Muslim Hands

While some gun shops and ranges have been drawing in the rubes by declaring themselves "Muslim-free zones," a Florida gun manufacturer has hit on the ultimate in anti-Muslim marketing: a semiautomatic rifle that no Muslim would ever dare touch,...