Everywhere Else News

OMG You Guys, The Trump Administration Is Being Vaguely Sorta Kinda Mean To Russia Right Now!

Trust us, this hurts Donald Trump more than it hurts Russia.

Donald Trump Brags About Making Shit Up, Because Only Losers Need ‘Facts’

All politicians lie. Donald Trump lies about how awesome his lies are, because they're actually true. Which is a lie.

Trump Just Yammering About Some Made-Up Shit. Wonkagenda For Thurs., March 15, 2018

Trump just making shit up, Congress pusses out for big money (again), and Nikki Haley says mean things to Russia. Your morning news brief.

March Goes Out With A Lamb! Wonkagenda For Wed., March 14, 2018

Conor Lamb wins, Dems release their MINORITY REPORT, and Antifa Space Soldiers!

Russia Fires Rex Tillerson. Wonkagenda For Tues., March 13, 2018.

House Republicans rush to judgment, Rex Tillerson YOU'RE FIRED, and the UK is ready to lock and load. Your morning news brief.

Theresa May Gonna Put Putin In A Lorry TO PAIN TOWN, Population HIM!

Who did the poisoning? RUSSIA DID! Who's Theresa May going to fuck up? RUSSIA!

A Gun In Every Classroom. Wonkagenda For Mon., March 12, 2018

Trump has some thoughts about guns, Chuck Todd is woke, and Betsy DeVos doesn't know shit. Your morning new brief.

Peace In Our Time! Donald Trump Can’t Possibly Go Wrong In Meeting Kim Jong Un

Oh good, peace is surely at hand now. Somebody find a dove.

Looks Like Russia Tried To Murder Somebody Over THE DOSSIER, So That’s Shocking

Bet Donald Trump wishes he could pull shit like this.

Rick Perry Is Stupid

Remember, his nickname is Governor Goodhair, not Secretary Smartbrain.

You’re Not Gonna Believe This, But Erik Prince Lied To Congress

Jesus's best little Aryan soldier LIED? The fuck you say!

Snitches Get Stitches. Wonkagenda For March 8, 2018

Trump tries to silence his witnesses, Kris Kobach gets schooled in court, and Florida might actually pass some gun control. Your morning news brief.

Storm A-Comin’. Wonkagenda For Wed., March 7, 2018

Democrats flood the Texas primaries, Gary Cohn runs from Washington, and Stormy Daniels might have some dick pics. Your morning news brief.

Devin Nunes, Cow Detective, Knows *Australia* Was The Collusion!

Hold your nose for this one!

The 432,696 Hottest Scoops In Jane Mayer’s Profile Of Christopher Steele, Trump Dossier Super-Spy!

Including how the Kremlin allegedly PERSONALLY VETOED Trump naming stupid Mittens Romney as secretary of State.