Legal

Hulk Hogan Judge And Jury Consider It Relevant To Ask Gawker Editor If She’s A Whore

Are you in The Media? Do you have strong Opinions on how many millions of dollars Gawker is going to lose to Hulk Hogan for posting video of Hogan smothering Not His Wife in layers of the world's machoest...

Texas Governor Succeeding At Being Biggest Douchebag To Syrian Refugees

Let's play a game. It's called "Which Governor In America Is The Absolute Worst?" Haha wait there is no way to win this game because in light of the Syrian refugee crisis, there are so many competing for the...

Punchy-Faced Drug Man Martin Shkreli Too Awesome To Talk To Losers In Congress

So you might have noticed that professional douchebag/hip-hop enthusiast Martin Shkreli was all over your Internet this morning being even more of a preening little twerp than normal. Why was this? Because there was a Congressional hearing that surprisingly...

Canadian SCOTUS Agrees: Donald Trump Is A Big Lying Crook

Yes we know what 'SCOTUS' is an acronym for. Please do not send angry emails.

North Carolina Drops $42K To Make Sure You Go Potty The Right Way

North Carolina is having A Emergency right now. What's the 411 on the 911? It's so bad, you're going to want to start getting your thoughts 'n' prayers ready to send ASAP: North Carolina lawmakers return to work in a...

Mean ACLU Won’t Let Hospital Refuse Ladyparts Care For Jesus Reasons

One day, we will make it big and be rolling in money. Haha not from blogging, silly. Dealing drugs, maybe, or trafficking in delicious baby parts. When we do, we are gonna donate so much monies to the good...
You're cool with this now, right?

Utah Figures Abortions Too Safe And Easy For Ladies, Fixes That For Them

Utah seems like a terrible place. Oh, must we elaborate on that? Fine. Utah seems like a terrible place if you are a woman who has the misfortune of wanting to exercise your constitutional right to have a medical...
Original caption is 'Of course he wants to vote the Democratic Ticket.' Please add your own Robert Byrd comments.

Georgia Sends Sheriffs To Scare Black People From Voting. Uh, Protect Integrity Of The Vote, They Mean.

Georgia's Hancock County is just one jurisdiction taking a more personal, face-to face approach to suppressing the black vote, because they care.

Florida Judge LOLs At Sovereign Citizen Idiot

David Hall, a Sovereign Florida Man who got his day in court back in December 2014, has for some reason been rediscovered by the Internet in the last week, after this video of his appearance before Broward County Judge...
The Titan refugee program was a bad idea, we'll admit

Donald Trump’s Analogies Not Making America Great Again

Just in case you had any doubts that Donald Trump is the smartest, YOOGEST, most knowledgeable security expert running for president, we bring you this thought about border security from his Twitter feed, which belongs to him and is...

How We Got Even Dumber Watching TV ‘News’ On San Bernardino

Jesus, but this story was an effing mess. Watching the major networks (primarily Fox, MSNBC, and CNN, although at one point we flipped to CBSNews for about 20 minutes because we needed a power nap), yr Wonkette was subjected to so...

NRA Suggests Decorating Your Child’s Bedroom With Loaded Guns, For Convenience And Safety

Because the only thing that can stop a bad toddler with a gun, is a good toddler with a gun.

Poor Texas Still Not Allowed To Defund Planned Parenthood Over Non-Existent Fetus Sales

Texas can't defund Planned Parenthood over the selling of fetal remains, on account of the fact that they did not do that.
There's probably a perfectly reasonable explanation, which will make us want to vomit.

Ungrateful Tennessee Man Not Satisfied With $75 For 31 Years In Prison On False Conviction

$75 seems like a bit inadequate to make up for 31 years on a false conviction, but we are notoriously soft on innocent people.

Nice Voting Rights You Have There, Would Be A Shame If Justice Gorsuch Happened To Them!

Weird! It's almost like they're trying to stop black people from voting!

Is Trump About To Blow The Bowe Bergdahl Court-Martial? Man, That Guy Blows!

Is there something else President Twitterfingers can screw up? Why, yes! How about military trials?