BREAKING! Bill Clinton’s Old F*ckpal Will NOT Be Donald Trump’s Debate Guest!

You don't bring me Flowers anymore.

Newt Gingrich Wants America To Just Lie Back And Think Of Trumpland

Newt says that in order to fully enjoy the Donald Trump Experience, you just have to "relax and take it."

The Week In Garbage Men: Incels Dream Of Zombie Sex Slaves To Call Their Own, Also Their Own Sisters

So weird how they can't get dates! Also this is your open thread!

Teen Rapist Looks Forward To Enjoying College Experience, No Jail Time

David Becker is the new Brock Turner.
Senator, Jesus wants you to sit over there, away from the microphones

Mike Huckabee Didn’t Appreciate Ted Cruz Trying to Hijack His Kim Davis Jesus Party

Mike Huckabee would just like you all to know that if anyone's going to go to jail in Kim Davis's place, it's Mike Huckabee, not that Canadian-come-lately Ted Cruz. Following the hilarious scene Tuesday of a Huckabee staffer blocking...

Megyn Kelly Teaches Donald Trump’s Idiot Campaign Manager How Campaigns Work

It's NOT FAIR how Hillary keeps bringing up the terrible things Trump says about women, just because he says terrible things about women.

President Bannon Sleeps With The Fishes. Wonkagenda For Fri., April 14, 2017

The Wingnut-o-sphere is spinning in circles, Jared is moving in, and town halls get testy! Your morning news brief!

Poor Oppressed Alabama Police Chief Suspended Just For Making HILARIOUS Rape Jokes

We're not sure if there's ever a good time for a rape joke. But we're sure that THIS ISN'T IT.

Uber Man CRIES Because Company Is So Terrible, Sexist, Everyone Hates It So Much

You know who sucks? It is Uber, again!

Melania And Ivanka Trump Show The World What Feminine Power Looks Like

Oh Washington Post, we love you so much. Why you gotta do us like that?
I'll just be a minute here. Be right back.

Chris Matthews Can’t Stop Staring At Melania Trump, Will Be In His Bunk

You'd think maybe Chris Matthews has been in the teevee journamalism business long enough to know he should assume every microphone is live, but he forgot that little axiom Tuesday night during MSNBC's election coverage, treating viewers to...
butthurt much, guys?

Nutbag Sheriff David Clarke Went To The Women’s ‘Riot’ And All He Got Was These Hurt Fee-Fees!

You think the Women's March was 'peaceful'? What about these documented incidents of taunting and glitter assaults?
Jesus needs to fix everybody in this week's Top Ten.

Dumb Duggars, Bristol Palin And Gross Kevin McCarthy. Your Weekly Top Ten!

Oh hi, Wonkers! It's Sunday afternoon, which means we're going to yammer at you for a minute before we go eat bloody marys for brunch. We hope you are having a nice weekend and your favorite sportsball team is playing in a...

Donald Trump Sad He Can’t Play Fancy Woman Card™, Hypnotize Voters With His Vagina

'I think the only thing she has got going is she’s a woman,' Trump told Matt Lauer on the Today Show.