Feminininism

Senator, Jesus wants you to sit over there, away from the microphones

Mike Huckabee Didn’t Appreciate Ted Cruz Trying to Hijack His Kim Davis Jesus Party

Mike Huckabee would just like you all to know that if anyone's going to go to jail in Kim Davis's place, it's Mike Huckabee, not that Canadian-come-lately Ted Cruz. Following the hilarious scene Tuesday of a Huckabee staffer blocking...
OK, but what if the fucker actually won?

Donald Trump Is Your New Ronald Reagan, But Dumber And Less Classy

What you kids need to do sometime today -- and we do mean today; don't put this off -- is to go read Paul Solotaroff's terrific profile of Donald Trump in Rolling Stone, which hit the web Wednesday evening...
Cry all you want, still gonna call you A Idiot.

No, Bristol Palin, Hillary Clinton Is Not Afraid Of Your Grizzly Mama

OK, now that we have yelled at (some of) The Gays about how Hillary Clinton's "anti-gay" email is kind of no big fucking deal, it is time to yell into the hollow cavity of Bristol Palin's brain, because SHE...
Ah, Sinfest, we love you

Oh Great, Now Even The Southerns Are Gender Fluid

It's the first week of school at many colleges, which means it's time for another round of panic about socialist liberal indoctrination and threats to America and all that stuff. Take, for example, this "What are those crazy eggheads saying...
Take that, Austin!

The One Place In Texas It’s Not OK To Carry A Gun Is In Your Vagina

You know what we love about working at Wonkette? We love coming across a story with a headline like "Cops: Woman Concealed Loaded Gun in Vagina" and having to double-check to make sure it's different from that OTHER loaded-gun-in-a-vagina...

Wingnuts Tell Commie Pope To Get A Brain, Moran

The rightwing freakout over Pope Francis and his betrayal of all good things (unfettered capitalism) continues, and it seems that his address to a joint meeting of Congress doesn't seem to have made them a lot happier, probably because...
This is America now basically

A Love Letter To My New Gynecologist Who Is THE BEST

Dear my new gynecologist who is THE BEST, I never thought this could happen to me. I never thought I'd be one of those women who so enjoyed her strip-and-spread-'em annual exam that I'd actually feel sad about waiting a...
Oh, fine. Begin the recitation of stupidity.

Gays, Abortions, Blacks, Oh My! Your Virginia Shooting Tragedy Bingo

Wonder why bad things happen to good people? We've been scanning the dregs of the wingnuttosphere since Roanoke TV journalists Alison Parker and Adam Ward were shot to death while doing a routine interview Wednesday, and you'll be astonished...
Portrait of the idiot in her natural surroundings.

Bristol Palin Shocked To Learn She Is A Idiot

Commenters, we need to ask you a question, and we PROMISE we will not get mad. Has somebody out there been doing some rogue, face-to-face guerilla Wonkette-ing? Because somebody marched right into the medical office where Bristol Palin works...

Future Not-Speaker Jason Chaffetz Very Sad He Found Bupkis On Planned Parenthood

So this smegma-guzzling ferret, Rep. Jason Chaffetz of Utah, we were talking about him just the other day, remember? Because HAHAHAHA he thinks maybe he will be the next Drinker of the House. (Spoiler: He will not.) We ran through...

Mean Judge Says Hobby Lobby Not Allowed To Look At Your Genitals

Uh oh, America is being mean to Hobby Lobby again. First, the preferred arts and crafts store of Christian vlogger moms in the Bible belt was forced to perform late-term DIY abortions in aisle 13, right next to the...
Don't expect a Wonkette review any time soon

Satanic Temple Sues For Woman’s Religious Freedom To Do Devil Abortions

You might recall that our very favorite First Amendment activist-trolls, the Satanic Temple, sued back in May for an exemption to Missouri's 72-hour waiting period for an abortion, putting the "logic" of the Supreme Court's Hobby Lobby decision to...

Make America Great Again: Introducing The Oscars, But For Abortions!

America! It was great once, remember? But now it’s not, thanks to Muslim presidents and homosexual marriages. If only there were someone out there with enough boundless self-confidence that he truly believed, in his heart of hearts, that he personally...
Jesus needs to fix everybody in this week's Top Ten.

Dumb Duggars, Bristol Palin And Gross Kevin McCarthy. Your Weekly Top Ten!

Oh hi, Wonkers! It's Sunday afternoon, which means we're going to yammer at you for a minute before we go eat bloody marys for brunch. We hope you are having a nice weekend and your favorite sportsball team is playing in a...

The Time Phyllis Schlafly Incited A Riot

Phyllis Schlafly Was There to Kick Ass And Chew Bubblegum, And Phyllis Schlafly Was All Out of Bubblegum It was spring of ’66 in Washington DC and the smell of Napalm was in Phyllis Schlafly’s hair. She’d just been...
He is an actual, biological tortoise. And NRA stooge.

America All Out Of Workers Because Everyone’s Snorting Food Stamps And Social Security

So, Politico has an exciting (like Jeb!! Bush) new interview with Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, and for the most part it's pretty much what you'd expect: blah blah Barack Obama sucks, Harry Reid sucks, if only we had a...