Buffalo School Board Tells Old Racist Carl Paladino To Resign Or Face Strongly Worded Reprimand

Horrible old bigot faces the ultimate slap on the wrist.

Brigham Young University So Mad At Rape Victim For Failing To Uphold Honor Code

There are a lot of hard things about being a Mormon. Probably having doors constantly slammed in your face is pretty unpleasant, as is having to go through life without coffee. Also, there appears to be no small amount...
Fa la la la la, la la la SHART

‘Fox & Friends’ Jizz Their Stockings In Yuletide Rage

Two of the unique strains of brain syphilis that sit on the "Fox & Friends" couch every morning have finded a real War On Christmas! Oh so exciting! You see, there is this school in Brooklyn, P.S. 169, and...
Jesus probably wants you to buy more gun now

Second Amendment Saves At Least 10 At Community College From Being Alive, F*ck You America

Welcome to your Latest Mass Shooting, America! At 10:40 AM local time, an as-yet unidentified gunman opened fire at Umpqua Community College in Roseburg, Oregon, leaving at least 7-10 10 people dead and approximately 7 wounded (see updates...

What, Exactly, Does The GOP Plan To Do About All The Babies They Want To Force Us To Have?

Defunding Planned Parenthood and making abortion illegal are about as fiscally irresponsible as you can get.
My Little Pony: Friendship is a Plot to Take Away Our Liberty

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Watch Fox And Free Yourself From Propaganda

Funny how the Deleted Comments biz goes. A couple weeks back, we had so few real winners that we had to forego the feature altogether; this week, we'll have to select carefully from a veritable smorgasbord of Derp. So...

Democrats Throw Pajama Party To Bitch About How Much They Hate This Chick ‘Betsy DeVos’

How much does Betsy DeVos suck? The Democrats decided to spend 24 hours reminding everybody how much.
This must be the politest society in anime

High School Students Try To Do Journalism On Guns, Gun-Humpers Freak Out

The wingnuttosphere is up in arms -- concealed, openly carried, and hidden in the underwear drawer where their kids will never find them -- over an "invasive" survey that some Texas high school journalists put together to gather information...

Trump Bows To Not America. Wonkagenda for Mon., May 22, 2017

Trump is exhausted in the Middle East, President Kushner is in trouble, and Ajit Pai wants to make right-wing t.v. free for all. Your morning news brief.
She's an (adobe) Brick House...

New Guy On N.C. Board Of Education Will Save Kids From Sex Books, Like Isabel Allende’s

North Carolina's state Board of Education has a brand new member -- a rightwing Christian who thinks a modern classic by Isabel Allende is nothing more than a "sex book."
Check THIS out, kids!

Cure Your Crotch Weasels The Christian Way: Put A Ring On It!

There comes a time in every Christian youngster's life when he or she has a burning case of the crotch weasels and doesn't know what to do. Go to the doctor? Meh, that's for liberals. Go to church? Now you're...
At least they stopped short of waterboarding the kid

Middle School Sued For Forcing Muslim Kid To Confess ‘Allegiance’ To ISIS, Because America

A lawsuit alleges officials at a Long Island middle school forced a learning-disabled Muslim boy to confess to planning a terrorist attack. Get ready for morons to start explaining why this made perfect sense.
Non-Sex-Having Man Wearing Dress Wants To Lecture You On Sexual Norms

Illinois Bishop Has Godly Plan To Keep Gay Cooties Out Of Schools

In an attempt to clamp down on all the rampant sin in Springfield, Illinois, the local Catholic diocese is planning to rid its schools of the offspring of homosexxxicans. Also, for the sake of insisting that they're not bigots,...
You too can scam your way to the Republican nomination. Ask me how!

Trump’s ‘University’ Flopped Even Worse Than His Tiny Penis

While most of the excitement over Donald Trump Monday involved either his friendliness to the KKK or Marco Rubio's speculation about Trump's itsy-bitsy penis, we would also like to remind you all of something else that Donald Trump promised...

Colorado Town Shocked To Discover Teens Do Sexytime, Even In Colorado

Turns out kids these days, like kids in those days and the days before that too, do sex things, to themselves and to each other. Even in small, wholesome towns where teenagers are still cursed with hormones and interests and...