Education

Zombie TrumpCare Dies Again! Wonkagenda for Tues., July 18, 2017

TrumpCare fails again, the House moves on to money, and Trump screams at Chris Christie. Your morning news brief.
Your tax dollars at work

Jesus Freaks Have BEST Plan To Take Schools Back To The 300 Years Of The 17th Century

The Jesus Freaks are bad at math.

Bullets Trump Thoughts, Prayers. Again. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Feb. 15, 2018

Another mass school shooting, Grassley says the coverup part out loud, and Dreamers are hanging on the edge of forever. Your morning news brief.
As for Ms. Sparkle, she's Twi-Curious

Wingnuts Worry Purple Unicorn Brainwashes Kids With LGBTQ Ideas Like ‘Acceptance’ And ‘Diversity’

It doesn't take much to send some conservatives into full Moral Panic mode.
Your tax dollars at work

Tennessee School Can’t Hand Out Bibles Anymore Because Stupid Constitution

Another blow to the oppressed Christian majority across America, as some smart aleck in Tennessee decided to look up this "Constitution" thing, and you'll never believe the crazy talk hidden deep inside of it! Bledsoe County Schools Superintendent Jennifer Terry recently...

Comey To Come Out And Play! Wonkagenda For Thurs., June 1, 2017

Comey's coming back to Congress, Trump's giving back Russian spy mansions, and Hillary Clinton keeps it real. Your morning news brief!

Austinites Commit Mass Flatulence On Texas Open Carry Group’s Dumb Fake Mass Shooting

Those brilliant pro-gun activists in Texas held their much-publicized "mock mass shooting" Saturday near the University of Texas campus in Austin, exactly as planned. Except, in a surprise twist, they didn't show up where or when they said they...

They Blinded All The Science. Wonkagenda For Mon., July 3, 2017

Ted Cruz secretly starts CruzCare, Chris Christie beaches himself, and Josh Groban schools Trumpkin Twitter trolls.
See? Grammar not a problem.

Texas Couple Fights To Keep Kids Good And Stupid, The Way Jesus Likes ‘Em

There are no times tables at the Second Coming, that's what yr Wonkette always says. And apparently Michael and Laura McIntyre of El Paso agree with us, as they are suing the state of Texas for their God-given right...

Steve King Has Terrific Plan To Give All Public Schools’ Money To The Duggar Family!

Good news! A terrible bill to gut public education may be defeated by opponents who are farther to the right than the bill's author, Iowa Rep. Steve King.

Trump Just Called Kirsten Gillibrand A Whore. Wonkagenda For Tues., Dec. 12, 2017

Don't think we've ever actually been shocked by a Trump tweet before. Your morning news brief.
The crazy candidate lady Mary Lou is on the left, next to Ted Cruz's insane father.

Texas School Board Candidate Pretty Sure Pre-K Turns Kids Into Little Gay Whores

Do you remember our new favorite Texas lady, Mary Lou Bruner? She is running for seat on Texas's STATE school board of education, and according to Slate she is likely to win! This lady made us all giggle in...

Was Donald Trump High AF During That Opioids Press Conference?

Donald Trump's Opioid Commission had lots of recommendations. But he's just going to lock up brown people instead. We cool?

Fox Doc Keith Ablow Being A Jerk To All The Lazy, Potted-Up Millennials. That Is Wonkette’s Job!

Snotnosed Millennial brat thinks "Dr." Keith Ablow is not even the boss of him, whatever.

You’re All Making Princess Ivanka SO Sad! Wonkagenda for Mon., June 12, 2017

The Senate Intel Committee wants to hear from everyone, DC and Maryland are suing Trump, and Princess Ivanka has a sad. Your morning news brief!