Education

Another day of being forced to make gay pizzas. Sigh.

Why Did Anne Frank Hide Like A Coward Instead Of Killing Nazis Dead Like A Real Man?

Last week, Dr. Ben Carson -- alleged educated person, supposedly in possession of a functioning brain -- offered his innovative Hot Tips For How To Survive A Holocaust. First, man up with a military-grade arsenal so that when the Nazis come...
Jesus probably wants you to buy more gun now

Second Amendment Saves At Least 10 At Community College From Being Alive, F*ck You America

Welcome to your Latest Mass Shooting, America! At 10:40 AM local time, an as-yet unidentified gunman opened fire at Umpqua Community College in Roseburg, Oregon, leaving at least 7-10 10 people dead and approximately 7 wounded (see updates...

Science: Jerks Don’t Understand Sarcasm, Explaining 95 Percent Of Our Letters To The Editor

Everyone would like to think that the ability to get irony and sarcasm has something to do with being smart -- it just makes sense, after all, that picking up on the subtle cues that a statement isn't meant...
It may not have this been this exact painting.

Kansas School Murders Jesus In Front Of The Children

A Kansas middle school has removed a painting of Jesus from a hallway where it had hung for several decades, throwing the entire town into a tizzy that may, if it does not abate soon, blossom into a full-on...
Ah, Sinfest, we love you

Oh Great, Now Even The Southerns Are Gender Fluid

It's the first week of school at many colleges, which means it's time for another round of panic about socialist liberal indoctrination and threats to America and all that stuff. Take, for example, this "What are those crazy eggheads saying...
A lot, actually

Ben Carson Pretty Darn Angry At Satan For Inventing Evolution

You may have noticed by now that, for a neurosurgeon, Ben Carson is a surprisingly unscientific guy. He was first-rate at cutting into brains and making repairs, but once you get him outside the operating theater, he comes off...
A leader of little green plastic men

War Hero Donald Trump Was Most Terrific War Hero In Prep School

We finally know why Donald Trump never cared so much for war guys who got captured: When he was in the military, he never got captured, so why should he think all that much of guys who were? Now,...
You can see why someone might think that's a beaver

Sundays With The Christianists: A Mutilated Squirrel Teaches Your Kids Why Welfare Is Bad

Good Sunday to you, Sinners! As we promised, or threatened, earlier in the week when we wrote about the Tennessee homeschooling mom who is Very Concerned about all the Islamic Indoctrination that she's sure is happening in the school...
Basically Tim Pawlenty with slightly more experience. Whatever happened to T-Paw anyway?

King John Kasich Promises To Ban Whiny Teachers From Whining

Ohio Gov. Tim Pawlenty took a little time Wednesday to remind the GOP primary electorate that, for all that "moderate" stuff they may have heard about him, he's just as able to sound like a rightwing turd-mongler as any...
Oh Christ, it's This Asshole Again

Creepy Arkansas Rep’s Preschool Trying To Rehome Kids Straight To Heaven Now

Remember our old pal Justin Harris, the fundagelical Arkansas state representative who "rehomed" his two adopted daughters with a good Christian man who then raped one of them? As you may recall, in addition to sponsoring restrictive abortion laws...

All-American Teenage Science Nerd Hero Ahmed Mohamed Invited To Run The World

It's been a seriously strange 48 hours for Ahmed Mohamed, the 14-year-old kid from Irving, Texas, who went from potential criminal suspect to instant Geek Hero, thanks to his idiot school's overreaction to a simple electronic clock that scared...
Non-Sex-Having Man Wearing Dress Wants To Lecture You On Sexual Norms

Illinois Bishop Has Godly Plan To Keep Gay Cooties Out Of Schools

In an attempt to clamp down on all the rampant sin in Springfield, Illinois, the local Catholic diocese is planning to rid its schools of the offspring of homosexxxicans. Also, for the sake of insisting that they're not bigots,...
There. Much better without that nonsense

Tennessee Republican Demands Schools Delete Islam From History, Because 9/11

To mark the anniversary of the attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, Tennessee state Rep. Andy Holt is calling on the state to revise the history of Islam out of its social studies standards, because obviously...

George W. Bush In New Orleans: Heckuva Job, Myself!

    George W. Bush returned to the scene of the crime Friday, speaking briefly at a high school that had been flooded during Hurricane Katrina 10 years ago. You will be astonished that his remarks were utterly devoid of self-reflection or...
I suppose now Adam Sandler wants a White House invitation, too?

BREAKING: Nerd Hero Teen Didn’t Whittle His Clock From Scratch, Send Him To Gitmo!

The Wingnuttosphere has spent a fair chunk of the weekend getting very exercised about a post from a weekly Buffalo newspaper Thursday that "exposed" -- with the breathless excitement of the best investigative journalism -- the True Facts about...
True fact: Nerdy smiles started as a prison fashion, like saggy pants

Dead Breitbart Exposes Nerd Hero Clockmaker As Dangerous Bubble-Blowing Thug

You might think that the rightwing attempt to demonize Ahmed Mohamed, the kid who was arrested for bringing a homemade clock to his high school in Irving, Texas, might have died down by now. But then you would be...