Stories Of Truly Fantastic Restaurant Bosses

Welcome back to Off The Menu, where we bring you the best and strangest food stories from my email inbox. For our last Wonkette Off The Menu, we bring you stories of fantastic restaurant managers and where to find...

You Want Trump-Russia Investigation Updates? We Have Trump-Russia Investigation Updates! YOU CLICK HERE NOW.

Who's under investigation? Who's being subpoenaed? OH ALL OF THEM KATIE!
Sarah is singing Adele songs in her brain right now.

Sarah Palin Wants To Bone This Fascist French Chick

Honky Snow Princess Sarah Palin has a moist in her underthings, and it is for a French who is also a lady! Sacre bleu, DONCHA BET? Of course, it's not for a normal French lady like Brigitte Bardot or sexxxy Carla Bruni....
bringing out the best in us since 2005

Walmart And Pals Trying To Lower Black Friday Body Count, How Nice!

Among our country's holidays, perhaps none is truly more American than Black Friday. After a day of food, football, and listening to an uncle say "that Ted Cruz makes some good points about the Gold Standard," we are given the option to unleash our...
Your tax dollars at work

Tennessee School Can’t Hand Out Bibles Anymore Because Stupid Constitution

Another blow to the oppressed Christian majority across America, as some smart aleck in Tennessee decided to look up this "Constitution" thing, and you'll never believe the crazy talk hidden deep inside of it! Bledsoe County Schools Superintendent Jennifer Terry recently...

Silly Paul Ryan ‘Dabs’ While Taking Healthcare From Millions Of Americans

Paul Ryan had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad town hall last night.

Bob Dole Wants To Make Taiwan Great Again! Wonkagenda for December 7, 2016

Donald Trump's slight of hand, everyone hates Chris Christie, and Corey Lewandowski hates Festivus. Your Daily News Brief!
In Fonebone We Trust

We Are All A Science Idiot: Your Saturday Nerdout

As the famous public intellectual Dave Barry observed back in the nineties, one of the few areas where America still excels is the production of studies showing that Americans are really, really stupid. Or something like that; we were...
Gordon KlingenWingen Schmitzennutt

Gordon Klingenschmitt Found Himself An Interracial Couple To Say Gay Marriage Is Yucky

Gordon Klingenschmitt, elected official, has some lunatics for you. Enjoy!

Mueller? Mueller? Mueller? Mueller? Wonkagenda For Tues., June 13, 2017

Russia invaded 39 state elections, Trump might fire the special prosecutor (already!), and Ivanka's paying slave wages. Your morning news brief!
Oh good, more opinions from this guy.

Ted Nugent, Tired Of Threatening Hillary Clinton, Would Like Bernie Sanders To Die Now Please

Ted Nugent is neither dead nor in jail. DOES have thoughts on Bernie Sanders.

Treasury Putting Black People And Women All Over Our Money, America Fails To Freak Out

The forces of Political Correctness continue to roll all over our U.S. American money! In addition to making abolitionist, spy, and all-around badass Harriet Tubman the new face of the $20 bill, the Treasury Department has announced a whole...
You really don't want to call her "Princess"

Powerpuff Girls Are Back To Tap Dance On MRA Bullies’ Faces! Your Saturday Nerdout

Good gawd, y'all, the Powerpuff Girls are making a return to Cartoon Network, and the first teaser clip has Buttercup beating up a Male Supremacist Pig. We are in love all over again. Also, can Gravitational Waves Improve Your...

Michigan School Hardly Freaked Out At All By Gay Character In Children’s Book

After years of upsetting the easily ruffled and delighting kids who appreciate a good booger joke (if you fail to appreciate a good booger joke, you may not actually be a kid), and in the process making his Captain...
Whatever. This is just a minor setback

Demons (Probably From Gay Animals) Drive Total Kook Gordon Klingenschmitt From Colorado Statehouse

Colorado god-botherer Gordon Klingenschmitt, one of our favorite rightwing loons, lost his primary bid for the state Senate. Whatever will he do now? Probably keep being a hateful douche.