Recipe Hub

Does Yr Wonket like to cram things down your throat? Yes! Yr Wonket DOES like to cram things down your throat! Delicious things. Here are some of them:
Fish that USED TO swim. (makes hand motion)

Feed Your Head With Balsamic Glazed Salmon

Wanna win the war? You'll need some brain food!

Stories of Righteous Restaurant Revenge

Welcome back to Off The Menu, where we bring you the best and strangest food stories from my email inbox. This week, we've got everyone's favorite contentious topic: the just revenge of restaurant employees against the deserving. As always,...

How To Make Spicy Turkey and Squash Leftover Soup

People have gone home. Our memories of a fine dinner with people we care about linger, while the evidence has been scooped into plastic containers and refrigerated. Re-purpose what is left into hot and hearty soup, as fast as...

Give Thanks To Your Wonkette Pals, With Recipes!

While Barack Obama appoints Mr. Peabody as the Secretary of Science or whatever and no other news happens except the usual daily rain of Great Big Depression statistics, let's give THX for whatever it is that didn't go terribly...

Evil Carl’s Jr. CEO Can Hardly Wait To Replace Workers With Robots

Are you ready to meet the most dickheaded CEO in the fast food game today? Well, tough noogies, you're going to anyway, because this a-hole deserves to be recognized. One of the arguments opponents of a minimum wage hike LOOOOOOOOVE...
No one can handle the truth about Hillary's illness!

Not Quite Deleted Comments: Why Is Wonket Trying To Murder People With Allergies?

We know you all had a sad when your Deleted Comments column Sunday was preempted by breaking Celebrity Farts On Drug Lord News, so because we love you, here is a little something to tide you over. Message: We...
"And so what happens in this room?"

Making Thanksgiving ‘Monkey Bread’ With Nancy Reagan

Enjoy this Wonkette Holiday Classic recipe all over again, as though The Gipper was still wandering around somewhere. Whatever the hell "monkey bread" might be -- something racist, we assume -- it was the thing our favorite first lady Nancy...
Almost Done!

Now It Is Time For All Good Men To Come And Eat This Cream Cheese Potato Soup

Eat with vodka. Serves six, or one.

Your Never-Ending Olive Garden Shrimp Bowl Sauteed In Never-Ending Child-Slave Tears

So we've got good news and bad news. The bad news is that a mortifying percentage of the shrimp we eat comes from slave labor. The good news is, jk, there's no good news, humanity is a miserable plague. According...

Stay Up Late: It’s A Thing To Do And The Name Of A Drink

With summer unofficially here and the Shenandoah National Park fire out, what a great time to visit a national park and hoist a cocktail. Also, 2016 is the centennial of the National Park Service, so make it a celebratory...
Viva sandino!

Raise Less Corn, More Hell

Everything your mother should have taught you, and that mine did. Happy Mother's Day, sweetlings!

Stories Of Customers Who Ate Things They Really Weren’t Supposed To

Welcome back to Off The Menu, where we bring you the best and strangest food stories from my email inbox. This week, we've got more stories of customers who ate the weirdest stuff possible. As always, these are real...
Chili that's better than yours.

The Best Chili You Will Ever Taste.

Winter ain't coming, Wonkers: it's HERE. And that means it's time to break out recipes that warm us from the inside. We need food that makes us feel full, and warm, and fuels us for hours, even in the...
I am so sorry you can't see the beautiful picture. You really are missing out!

Grown-Up Chicken SO GOOD SO TASTY SO YOU MAKE IT RIGHT NOW.

OK, so: President Bannon, fascist dictatorship, Constitutional crisis, WTF did he just tweet? Pissed off allies, Putin puppet, marriage equality LOL, RESISTANCE! PROTESTS! *Yawn* Typical week under the Trump regime, right? And the Real Writers here at Wonkette...
Like so many movies, most of Jones's ideas are bad adaptations of science fiction

Restaurant Sends Robot Waitstaff To Scrap Pile After They Fail To Serve Man

Hey, you know how plutocrats love to smugly threaten that if food service employees keep seeking a living wage, they'll be replaced with robots? Yeah, about that: a restaurant in Guangzhou, China, tried it, and it didn't work out...

Hold On To The Holiday Spirit: Your Friday Cocktail Hour Spiked Cider

Brown and mediciney is the way to kick start to your weekend, especially if you're still trying to work through 2015's first hangover. Do you have half an orange in your fridge from New Year's Eve cocktails? Great. Get...