Recipe Hub

Does Yr Wonket like to cram things down your throat? Yes! Yr Wonket DOES like to cram things down your throat! Delicious things. Here are some of them:
No one can handle the truth about Hillary's illness!

Not Quite Deleted Comments: Why Is Wonket Trying To Murder People With Allergies?

We know you all had a sad when your Deleted Comments column Sunday was preempted by breaking Celebrity Farts On Drug Lord News, so because we love you, here is a little something to tide you over. Message: We...

Make Barbecue Sauce From Ketchup Dregs, Garrison Keillor Can Shove Mellowing Agents Up His Ass

You need to relax. Being a religious NPR listener, you grab the ketchup. Not much is in the bottle, and it has separated to the point that it needs to be shaken to combine. When you do that, it's spread...

A Brief Intermission To Yell At You About Bagels

This is not a bagel. This abomination, this dis-gusting acid-tripped creation that is bready and round and has a hole in it? It is not -- no way, nope, no how -- a bagel. Let's be clear about that. Rainbow Bagels –...

Lemon Bars Are Really Easy, Like Your Mother

Some folks have wonderful childhood memories of eating lemon bars in their grandmothers' kitchens. They never really appealed to me, which is silly. When have butter, sugar and eggs ever let me down? Make this for a business meeting or...

Winner Winner Slow Cooked Chicken And Dumplings Dinner

Looking for a great Sunday dinner, or something easy to prep for Election Day? Welcome to the part of our program when we leap and launch ourselves at Chicken and Dumplings, slow cooked in a crock-pot. Hot gravy. You...

Stories Of Disastrously Inept Food Service Employees

Welcome back to Off The Menu, where we bring you the best and strangest food stories from my email inbox. This week, we have tales of restaurant employees who could not count to potato. As always, these are real...
Totally Baked.

This Cheesy Garlic Chicken Will Help You Feel Better About 2016. Or At Least Full

OK, so the War On Christmas Season 2016 is over. FINALLY! You're done with the ultimate orgy of consumerism, and with spending half the day in the kitchen making some sort of extravagant meal you only attempt once or...

Making Thanksgiving ‘Monkey Bread’ With Nancy Reagan

Enjoy this Wonkette Holiday Classic recipe all over again, as though The Gipper was still wandering around somewhere: Whatever the hell "monkey bread" might be -- something racist, we assume -- it was the thing our favorite first lady...

Lemon and Rosemary Gin Fizz For All Your Election Day Sorrow-Drowning

This Lemon and Rosemary Gin Fizz is so beautiful, I can’t even. If you are holding a voter registration card with valid ID, come get your drink on for Election Day. It’s a tradition! If you voted in October, have...

Betty Ford’s Chocolate Cake Thing Involves A Lot Of Sleeping And Hanging Out In The Freezer

Here is one for the "chocoholics," starring Betty Ford! It's a Chocolate Icebox Dessert, and while it SOUNDS racist, that is just because of all the liquor. Grab the following: 6 eggs 1 angel food cake 12 oz. chocolate chips 4 tb. of...
Classics never get old. That's a nice thing you can say to your mother.

Make Your Mother This Pineapple Upside-Down Cake And Cocktail

This weekend marks a celebration of the people who shape young lives with care and devotion, who tirelessly teach and motivate, who coddle injuries and still expect the very best performance. Then, the day after the Kentucky Derby is...

Our Friends At Penzeys To Paul Ryan: You’ve Got To Be Kind!

Obamacare stories AND stuffed lamb meatballs? Thanks, friends at Penzeys!
Good for both your belly and your brain.

Beer Battered Fish For Your Bigly Battered Brain

Gotta keep your brain strong to deal with this crazy.

Now Eat This: Stuffed Peppers, No Pink Slime Allowed

I am going to stuff your pepper so hard. You and me, we got some fresh peppers from our neighbor. This is news! We have awesome neighbors. We are stuffing fresh peppers, from an actual garden, and that is...

Need Brownies? Try These Super Intense Fudgy Brownies

I really wanted brownies. You know how it is! What am I going to do when I want brownies, but the only sugar I have on hand is raw sugar? I’m going through with it anyway, to enjoy the...

It’s The Perfect Time For Some Slow-Cooked Dal, Indian Style

Such a crazy, busy week, and a perfect time for Teen Taal dal (Three Note Dal) -- black lentils with kidney beans and chickpeas, stewing all day in a slow cooker. Man am I going to fill you up...