Recipe Hub

Does Yr Wonket like to cram things down your throat? Yes! Yr Wonket DOES like to cram things down your throat! Delicious things. Here are some of them:
Chili that's better than yours.

The Best Chili You Will Ever Taste.

Winter ain't coming, Wonkers: it's HERE. And that means it's time to break out recipes that warm us from the inside. We need food that makes us feel full, and warm, and fuels us for hours, even in the...

This Real Recipe From Rush Limbaugh Has Jello, Stuffed Olives, And Miracle Whip In It

OK, sure, we made fun of Rush Limbaugh for putting saccharine in his hot cocoa recipe and frying a chicken in Crisco. But were we being fair? Not really. We finally saw The Help last night, and according to...

Tales Of Restaurant Employees Who Failed Spectacularly

Welcome back to Off The Menu, where we bring you the best and strangest food stories from my email inbox. This week, we’ve got more stories of restaurant employees whose crap was just in no way together. As always,...

Trust The Internet: This Really Is The ‘Easiest Peanut Butter Fudge Recipe’

Your Recipe Hub was interested in a food meme making the rounds on social media. Billed as the "Easiest PB Fudge EVER," this recipe has only four ingredients, and it’s almost as popular as a cat video. Is this...

Use Up That Canned Cranberry Sauce, With Booze!

Even if you make Ken Layne's Aunt Wonkette's Real Cranberry Business every year, chances are good that you still put can of the jellied cranberry sauce on your fine china to complete the spread on your Thanksgiving table, strictly for...

Study Finds Tipping Actually Helps Servers, Is Only Half-Stupid

Oh good: a new study is out that purports to show that the tipping system is actually good for servers and bartenders. We're sure this won't devolve into a smugly dickish thinkpiece-off about tipping (again). The study (we feel ill...

Betty Ford’s Chocolate Cake Thing Involves A Lot Of Sleeping And Hanging Out In The Freezer

Here is one for the "chocoholics," starring Betty Ford! It's a Chocolate Icebox Dessert, and while it SOUNDS racist, that is just because of all the liquor. Grab the following: 6 eggs 1 angel food cake 12 oz. chocolate chips 4 tb. of...

Liquor Up Playgirl’s Eggnog

  Commercially available eggnogs, both the pre-spiked and soft varieties, are pretty nasty. They're cooked with heat, which is nonsense. Thankfully, the December 1974 issue of Playgirl (yes, the one with Burt Reynolds in a Santa hat on the cover)...
As Southern as Robert E. Lee & Stonewall Jackson shaking hands with Jefferson Davis in front of a Rebel flag in a cotton field. Except, y'know, without the hate and bigotry. Or the slavery

These Shrimp & Grits The Best Thing You’ll Ever Put In Your Mouth? PROBABLY!

Happy Easter, for those who celebrate it, whether as the Festival of Zombie Christ, or in accordance with earlier traditions! For those who don't, Happy Weekend! To those who do neither Easter nor Weekends, uh, Hi? I hope your...

Drop It Like It’s Hot: Your Friday Cocktail Hour Gin And Juice

Did you know that grapefruit is in season? Did you already run out and buy a big bag? Perfect. Let's drink 'em. We need to juice them, but the juicer we usually use for citrus cannot handle the size of...
greedy minimum wage worker sticking it to the man

Study Finds Higher Minimum Wage Does Not Destroy Economy, Wingnuts Gon’ Be SO Mad

Oh hey, a $15 minimum wage is not crashing the economy like opponents said it would. Are you shocked?! We're shocked! (We are not shocked.) So, you guys remember Seattle? Of course you do -- it's that big city in...

Wendy’s Now Serving Frostees With Complimentary Side Of Razor Blades

As if Frostees weren't already gross enough (shut up, it's just half-melted soft-serve in a goddamned soda cup, they're disgusting), customers apparently have a new thing to be concerned with: razor blades hidden like depth charges in their iced...

Wikileaks Now Featuring Hottest Recipes From Devil Hillary Clinton’s Kitchen

EXCLUSIVE LEAKED EMAILS show Clinton campaign chair makes an absolutely bitchin' risotto.

Nostalgic Repost Of Repasts Past: The Jell-O Recipe That Mamie Eisenhower Used To Win The Cold War

Another Wonkette Thanksgiving Classic, for Thanksgiving. And America. Here is your bit of "DC gossip" for the day: a Jell-O dessert recipe, for the holiday of Thanksgiving! It is Mamie Eisenhower's famed Red Scare Thanksgiving Jell-o Dessert and it is...
Mrs. Chesterfield: "It looks like vomit."

Remember St. Dominic While You Make Baba Ghanoush

St. Dominic, whose feast day is August 8, was a pretty righteous dude who was concerned about the plight of the poor. He sold all his shit, walked around barefoot, did good deeds, and refused to sleep in a...