Hideous $3999.95 Painting of Andrew Breitbart Actually Swiped from Video Game

Welcome to a very special guest post by long-time Wonkette reader "Doktor Zoom." Enjoy! So, you know that painting by David Bugnon of Dead Guy Andrew Breitbart as a Teutonic Knight in Heaven, ready to take on commies, liberal scumbags, and...
'Imagine the excitement of this demon as he destroyed the property of Christ!'

You Will Fall Madly In Love With This Half-Nutso Louisiana Cop

//     Yr Wonkette has a new boyfriend in law enforcement, and he is Captain Clay Higgins of the St. Landry Parish Sheriff’s Office in Opelousas, Louisiana. You see, he makes these bizarrely earnest Crimestoppers videos that are half sermon, half...
Dick Morris Spank Book

British Rag ‘Daily Mail’ Can’t Stop Puking Over That Nice Princess Woman’s Gross Toes

Princess ... Kate? That very pretty woman who married Prince William. She is quite lovely! Her sister has a nice butt! She wears really nice clothes that always seem appropriate! She had very bad morning sickness while she was...

Hey Hillary Clinton Could You Pick Sarah Palin For Veep? That’d Be Great, Thanks

Idiot goes on TV, says Hillary Clinton will pick a female Republican to be her VP. We put this idea right where it belongs.

Rand Paul Is Your New Feminist Hero, Apparently

It must be his time of the month because Rand Paul and his luscious locks are quite hysterical about that mean brute Donald Trump and his sexisming! While good decent sensitive males like Paul have respect for strong assertive women,...
Oh good, more opinions from this guy.

Ted Nugent Knows Jews Are The Real Nazi Holocaust-Doers, Because Obviously

It is a day, which means somewhere in the recent past, or maybe right this second if he's awake, NRA board member Ted Nugent has been spotted doing public bigotry of some sort. Now, far be it from us...
Disney, please hire this guy now.

Your Saturday Nerdout: The World Now Has A Vomiting Robot. Thanks, Science!

It's Saturday, and you know what that means: Nerding Time. And because nothing's nerdier than giggling about bodily fluids like a bunch of 5th-graders, we knew what our Lead Nerd Story had to be: I, Pukebot Researchers at North Carolina State...

Gawker Fawkered

I talk about blowjobs a lot. I talk about being pretty darn good at them, with the licking and the cupping and other such things that make me particularly awesome at head. I do this on Twitter, and in...


You have GOT to watch this anti-Jon Ossoff campaign ad, it is SO FUCKING STUPID.

Chicago Wonkers! You Don’t Have To Spend The VP Debate Alone!

YAY! You have plans now! You are welcome!

Kellyanne Conway Remembers That Time She Died In The Bowling Green Massacre

If you don't believe her, then YOU ARE FAKE NEWS.
Funny, they changed the title for the paperback.

Donald Trump’s Dumb Book So Terrific He Just Had To Buy Thousands Of Copies With Campaign Funds

Donald Trump spent a buttload of campaign donors' money to buy thousands of copies of his own book. You know, for kids.
History's Greatest Monster, 2016 Edition

Fox News SHOCKER: Hillary Clinton Beat Bill Like An Egg-Stealing Hound

Fox News, America's most reliable and trusted cable news outlet, has been muddling around for years now, trying to find some dirt on Hillary Clinton that will really stick. Benghazi, excuse us, BENGHAZHI!!1!, has turned out to be a bust. The...

New York Saturday Afternoon! Drink Czech Beers With Us At Bohemian Beer Hall!

Allo allo allo! New York City we are in you, and Manhattan can go fuck itself! Meet us and the Official Wonkette Baby (star of stage and screen) at Bohemian Beer Garden in Astoria, Queens, Saturday let us say...