Exxon, You Dirty, Dirty Whore. Wonkagenda For Thursday, December 29, 2016

Exxon's got an image problem, John Kerry triggers Israel, and James O'Keefe wants a big boy news job! Your daily news brief!

Who Sent The New York Times Donald Trump’s Taxes? We’re Gonna Go With ‘Marla Maples’

Clip and save to refute your idiot Facebook pal who thinks Trump paid property taxes, or real estate taxes, or city and state taxes, or ...

No, Chuck Todd, Bernie And Hillary Will Not Brawl To The Death For Your Amusement

Though Thursday night's Democratic Debate saw a lot of actual fighting between Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton, it might have been more notable for the aggression that didn't happen. Specifically, Bern and Hill's repeated refusal to engage when professional...

Can You Hack Up Words As Stupid As Camille Paglia? A Contest!

Readers, it's time for a group project! Camille Paglia, as we all know, is the most insufferably obnoxious writer in the United States of the Entire Universe. As the late great Molly Ivins explained in her seminal piece on...

Ben Shapiro Forgets To Pretend Texas’s Bad Abortion Law Was About Women’s Health

The anti-choice cat comes out of the bag for this Monday Cringefest.

Erick Erickson Would Like To Ask You A Very Stupid Question About Terrorists And Guns

Erick Erickson is pretty mad at gay people for making it all about them. Also, he is very stupid.

Deleted Comments: Hillary’s A War Criminal And So Are You, Wonkette!

While all your Wonket pals were busy kvelling over Hillary Clinton's impressive performance in the 100-meter Ass-Kick during the Benghazi Decathlon on Thursday, it seems that not everyone was a fan. The griping started well before the circus, when...

Brokedown Wonk Palace! Your Open Thread!

#Wonkebago to Washington? ON HOLD.

Every Word Of Paul Ryan’s Thoughtful, Sober, Bipartisan New Ad Is A Hilarious Lie

Paul Ryan is making mouth sounds again claiming to be soooo bipartisan, and thoughtful, and not like those other dicks in the Republican party and the House, which he is the head of. Paul Ryan doesn't hate poor people...

Wonkette Is World Famous On CNN!

It is getting hard to remember all the places Wonkette is world famous. Rachel Maddow wants to gay marry us and we haven't set a date, but it's gonna happen, honest. Wonkette's Evan Hurst (me) is world famous in...

Alex Jones: Michelle Obama Murdered Joan Rivers So She Wouldn’t Tell Anyone About Her Dick

Alex Jones is a reasonable person who believes Donald Trump would make a good president, and Michelle Obama murdered Joan Rivers to keep her penis a secret.

Hackers Steal DCCC Money, Are Better At Internets Than Edward Snowden

Middle Eastern terrorists are so last season, it's all about cyber now!

Obama Secretly Taking Leaks Everywhere! Wonkagenda For Tues., Feb. 28, 2017

Paul Manafort stepped in something in Ukraine, Obama's pulling ALL the strings, and Tom Perez and Keith Ellison are best buds. Your morning news brief!
When You Absolutely, Positively Need To Improve Your Poll Numbers Overnight

Chris Christie Wants Barcodes For Foreigners, Just Like You Know Who

Sad Bayonne hound Chris Christie offered a novel way to crack down on illegal immigration, which the 2016 Republican primary voters all agree is the greatest crisis in the world (apart maybe from Benghazi). Oh, sure, maybe a 300-foot...
Let's not get too carried away with this 'save the planet' nonsense

John Kasich Likes Planet Earth OK, Not Ready For Serious Commitment

Somewhere in the wilds of New Hampshire, John Kasich (R-And Who Are You Again?) is doing a campaign event, and WaPo's Dave Weigel is tweeting up a storm. Of particular interest is this Deep Thought on the environment: Glad he...

Guys, I Am Seriously Considering Running For Montana’s Congressional Seat

Somebody stop me! No, I mean it. Please stop me.