Journamalism

David Brooks, serious typist for the Times

David Brooks Would Like Young Black Football Players To Stop Kneeling On His Lawn

Won't somebody please think of the white people?

Roger Ailes In Hell Now, Complaining The Broads There Have Ugly Legs

Condolences to his family, etc., but the man really was scum.

Obama Boots Trump’s 400lb. Russian Hackers. Wonkagenda For Fri., Dec. 30, 2016

Obama leaves Russia with severe butthurt, Trump's minions are already fracturing, and Bob Marshall REALLY hates porn. Your daily news brief!

Donald Trump Sat Down With The Economist And Rogered Himself Right In The Lorry!

This interview with the Economist is what winning looks like! LOLOLOLOL

Somebody Replaced Matt Drudge’s Heartworm Medication With Speed

All our thoughts 'n' prayers to Matt Drudge!
Police haven't identified the neighbor who complained. But we think we can guess.

Why Are Hamptons Snobs Racist Against Kids With Lemonade Stands?

In yet another example of Big Government stifling the small entrepreneur, we learn that some nosy neighbors in East Hampton, New York, complained to cops last that Jerry Seinfeld's son and his pals were running an unlicensed lemonade stand. What's truly...

Trump Begged FBI For Reach-Around On Russia Investigation, Because Of Course He Did

The Trump team begged the FBI to stay stories of their collusion with Russia were fake. Shockingly, the FBI did not comply!

Shit Sandwiches A Dish Best Served Cold. Wonkagenda For Fri., Feb. 17, 2017

The Muslim Ban is DEAD, Trump's NSC pick turns down the job, and Paul Ryan unveils Trump/RyanCare Your morning news brief!

Barack Obama Pretty Sure Dumb Ol’ Sarah Palin To Blame For Rise Of Donald Trump

Barry Bamz Obama did a very good interview with New York Magazine. Click here for the CliffsNotes version!
'OK, Bern, but I wish you wouldn't call me that'

Rightwing Rag Gonna Make Some Sh*t Up At You About How Hillary And Bernie Are Beefing

There's less than no 'there' there.
American Icon

Who’s Fox News’s Biggest Dick That’s Harassing All The Chicks? Bill O’Reilly. Damn Right.

Bill O'Reilly is exactly as nice to work for as you'd imagine.

What Stupid Gaffes Are We Accusing Hillary Clinton And Bernie Sanders Of Today?

HOLD THE PRESSES. Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders did two stupid things that actually are not stupid at all and everybody needs to shut the fuck up cuz this shit is stupid. First, Bernie Sanders was "discourteous" to the Vatican....

Citizen Shoots Up DC Pizza Place To Investigate Hillary Clinton’s Child Sex Ring, As One Does.

Fake News begets real news, which begets fake news that real news is fake.

The 2016 Wonkette Winter Wonksicle Tour, By The Numbers

Six weeks, 6,000 miles, and one illegal search and seizure later, the Wonkebago has turned back into our Montana driveway, and we're NEVER EVER EVER LEAVING AGAIN, until July. What's that, you want to give us some money? That...

O’Reilly Henchbro Jesse Watters Totally Tricks Millennials Into Saying Fairly Reasonable Things

Single-payer health care and free college tuition like in other countries? What will these entitled millennials come up with next?