Won’t You Feed The Wonkette Children This War On Christmas Season?

Is your Chanukah gelt burning a hole in your pocket (AND POOR JESUS'S PALMS???)? Do you feel the burning itch to share your Christmas goose, NOT IN A SEX WAY? Have you cracked your fourth bottle of wine, and...

And That’s When Trump Became President (Just Kidding). Wonkagenda For Tues., May 23, 2017

Trump blows another opportunity to act like an adult, Jeff Sessions tries to be legally racist, and Fox News has LOW RATINGS. Your morning news brief.

Russians? What Russians? No Russians Here! Wonkagenda for Mon., July 17, 2017

Jay Sekulow embarasses himself on national television (again), TrumpCare stalls (again), and Ann Coulter gets told to sit down and shut up. Your morning news brief!

Trump Campaign On Assaulted Breitbart Reporter Gal: Who, Us?

The Trump campaign has gotten so crazy, sometimes they assault people who aren't even black! Take this nice young Breitbart reporter gal -- she's white, even! (And cute!) And she says Trump's campaign manager came up behind her, grabbed...

Somebody Replaced Matt Drudge’s Heartworm Medication With Speed

All our thoughts 'n' prayers to Matt Drudge!

Donald Trump Had A Very Bad Weekend

Donald Trump had a shit weekend, with people standing up to him and all kinds of other nonsense. UNFAIR TO TRUMP!

Donald Trump Very Sad You Nasty People Keep Using His Words To Misquote Him

Another day, another way the world is being 'very nasty' to poor ol' Donald Trump!

How Stupid Is This Dumb Asshole?

Adam Schiff should recuse himself from Trump Russia, you dumb dick? Yeah, Adam Schiff says to fuck yourself.

Comey To Come Out And Play! Wonkagenda For Thurs., June 1, 2017

Comey's coming back to Congress, Trump's giving back Russian spy mansions, and Hillary Clinton keeps it real. Your morning news brief!
Yes, yes, the nice socialist speaks German too, please save your angry emails...

Austrian Neo-Nazi Loses Election, Breitbart Sad

Austria narrowly avoided electing a far right candidate who loves flirting with the language and symbolism of Naziism. Breitbart News choked back a sob.

Breitbart Does Great Job Fact-Checking Obama’s SOTU, Except For All The Facts

Shortly after the president concluded his final State of the Union, Breitbart -- the internet's shrieking, shit-throwing chimpanzee colony -- decided to "fact-check" the speech. It went as badly as you'd expect. Because we really love rubbing salt in the wounds of human beings as...
News man.

15 Things Bill O’Reilly Got Wrong While Laughing At How Stupid These Hippies Are

Watch the latest video at Above you will find a video from Bill O'Reilly. It is a stupid video, there is no need to watch it. In this stupid video, which you should definitely not watch, O'Reilly sends his...