Culture Wars

there's that appleheaded vagina mouth we love so much

Donald Trump Thinks Gays Are Just Terrific, Unless He Doesn’t. Who Even Knows?

Raise your hand if you think Donald Trump believes even half of the stuff that comes out of his mouth. Now if your hand is raised, use it to slap yourself in the face and ask yourself why you...
Now that's presidential.

Republicans Wish Obama Did Turkey Murder As Good As Sarah Palin

If you're like most Republicans, you're not even HAVING Thanksgiving this year, because you're still upset over how "President" Obama abused his executive powers last year, by pardoning TWO turkeys instead of just one, can you say OUT OF...
Thou hast in thy skull no more brain than I have in mine elbows.

Deleted Comments: You Secular Porn Addicts Are Destroying America And Have Never Read Shakespeare!

We thought we were smart, but it turns out we're porn-addicted dummies who've never read Shakespeare. Ay, me!
Now fit for official correspondence

Hooray, You Can Write Cusses On Your Traffic Tickets, America F*ck Yeah!

In a victory for the aggrieved and ill-tempered among us, a Connecticut man has prevailed against the prissy shitheads in a New York town who jailed him and charged him under an unconstitutional law because he wrote BAD WORDS...

Deleted Comments: Why Aren’t You Fighting The Devil Instead Of Mocking The Duggars?

Looks like we must have written words about the Duggars this week, which is always good for some astute contributions from the family's fans. Our story on the comically inept grifting/missionary attempts of Jill Duggar Dillard and her Mandatory...

Superlawyer Larry Klayman Suing Obama, Hillary, Black Panthers For ‘Race War.’ As One Does.

The list also includes George Soros, Eric Holder, Louis Farrakhan and your mom.
OOOH DADDY WE GET TO DO TEEVEE AGAIN!

Pa Duggar Teaches Menfolk How Not To Be Gross Perverts Like His Son Josh

Being a grown-up fundamentalist Christian man is tough, you guys. You try to stay on the straight and narrow, bein' real good and Christ-like as you teach everybody how to hate the gaygenders at your Family Research Council hate...
Don Blankenship at a -- get this -- Labor Day event.

Evil Murdery Coal CEO Says He’s A ‘Political Prisoner,’ Amnesty International Oddly Uninterested

One of America's sleaziest CEOs has written a booklet arguing that he's the real victim. Get in line, buddy.

Obama Drags Entire Family On Father’s Day Vacation To Middle Of Nowhere

No problem, we are sure Obama can make Congress authorize funding for the National Park Service while it's not doing all its other jobs.

Open Thread: Bet You Didn’t Know Sci-Fi Movie ‘They Live’ Is Really About The Jews!

Today we learned 'They Live' is really about the international Jewish conspiracy. Sure, why not?
Drop Kick Me Jesus

Brave Christian Football Coach Eated By Lions

A high school assistant sportsball coach in Bremerton, Washington, had a nice chat with the Almighty, who told him that, despite orders to cut it out, he needs to keep praying on the 50-yard line following every game, because...
Same as it ever was.

America Hears Pope’s Words On Death Penalty, Gets Back To Killing Folks ASAP

We're mad at New Pope at the moment, for having a secret Jesus tryst with Kim Davis where he reportedly told her she was some kind of freedom fighter, for refusing to do her job. But one thing everybody...
This is America now basically

These Southern Governors Ain’t Got Time For Your Dumbass Gay-Hatin’ Rigamarole

<a href="http://wonkette.com/600470/gov-nikki-haley-not-entirely-sure-why-yall-gotta-be-such-bigots"></a>In all the gross bad terrible news about anti-gay bills coming out of the South, there have been a few shining lights, specifically, three Southern governors who have decided NOT to be complete dicks. Two are Republicans and...
Danger! Teachers may have opinions you don't like!

College Prof Who Told Class She Fears Trump Goes Into Hiding After Death Threats. What Silly Fears!

A college teacher said unkind things about Donald Trump and Mike Pence, and now College Republicans are demanding a safe space.