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Hi Handsome, Wise Donald Trump, Here Is Why You Should Nominate Hillary Clinton To The Supreme Court!

Here, President Trump, we made you a really good idea!

Here’s A Video Of What Trump’s Five Minute Standing Ovation At The CIA Might Have Looked Like, For Science!

Donald Trump got the greatest ovation in history probably.
witty alt text goes here

Have Some Jewish Penicillin, Because We All Feel Pretty Sick Right Now

Part of Yr Wonkette's self care regimen. Also yummy for its own sake.

DeploraBall Guests Told Not To Heil Hitler, And No Dirty Dancing Either

Also Jim Hoft, Stupidest Man On The Internet, will now be an official White House Correspondent.
Just me, showing off my meat.

Beef Wellington: Proof That I Have Lost My Damn Mind

Are you ready for Pinkham's meat?

America Hates Obamacare So Much The Signup Deadline’s Been Extended To Handle The Crowds

Missed the Obamacare sign-up deadline yesterday? Great news!
Remain calm. Everything is norbal.

What Is This Thing Called Wonket? Is It Mean, Funny, Fake, Or Just ‘Different’? A Guide For Brad

In reply to a reader query, we try to explain what we do here.

Ask Wonkette: Can Melon Trump Indeed Sue For Rose Words About Her Son?

Wonkette helpfully answers readers' questions, helpfully.

A Look Back At How I Was Incredibly Right About Barack Obama And Will Be Right About Hillary Clinton Too

Don't worry about a Hillary Clinton presidency. Be happy!

Remember When Hillary Clinton Almost Went To Jail Because She Fired Her Travel Agent?

You have sort of heard of 'Travelgate,' and how Hillary Clinton is the worst crimer since Bonnie AND Clyde. But what is it? Let's remember together!
Cheesy Scalloped Potatoes

Cuddle Up Under A Blanket Of Scalloped Potatoes And Ham!

Take your cholesterol meds, and then EAT THIS NOW.
They still love us. Suckers!

Racists Reeeeeally Mad Hillary Clinton Keeps Lying That Racism Exists

Last night, in the vice presidential debate, Hillary Clinton's running mate, Tim Kaine, started talking about race and civil rights in his very first paragraph (well, after saying hi). Here's how he (non-) answered his first question, on presidential...

What Is A Lie? A Philosophical Search For Epistemological Truth Starring This Trump Campaign Idiot

What is a lie? It is a thing Donald Trump cannot do, according to campaign manager Kellyanne Conway, because first he would have to know a thing.
So there.

Wonkette’s Unsolicited Advice For How Hillary Clinton Should Debate Donald Trump, You Are Welcome!

Can Hillary unhinge Donald? Doesn't he come pre-unhinged?