2018 State and Local Elections

Seriously, we literally never watch you pee

Anchorage, Alaska, Voters Tell Bathroom Panty Sniffers To FUCK OFF

Alaska Bible-thumpers losing the Culture Wars. Oh. How sad.
Advising people on the economics of death.

Bakersfield’s Sheriff Wants You To Die

Ignore the fact that Kern County is America's deadliest for police shootings, this was *out of context* man!
But his bosses didn't like him so they shot him into spaaaaace.

NICE TIME! Scott Walker Is Sooooo Sad

Scott Walker says there's gonna be a Blue Wave in Wisconsin. We are the opposite of sad for him!

Build The Wall Out Of Soldiers! Wonkagenda For Wed., April 4, 2018

Trump wants to build a border wall out of soldiers, Scott Walker is screaming BLUUUUUE WAAAAVE, and Robert Mueller has some questions. Your morning news brief.

We Got A Great Big Convoy! Wonkagenda for Mon., April 2, 2018

Trump kills DACA (again), Laura Ingraham takes a 'vacation,' and China enters the trade war. Your morning news brief.

Nurse Jackie And Cynthia Nixon Want You To Throw The Fake Democrats OUT

Oh, this is indeed heinous fuckery most foul.

Trump Makes VA Great Again With ‘Girther’ Doc. Wonkagenda For Thurs., March 29, 2018

Trump's doctor to lead the VA, Laura Ingraham is being a stupid mean girl on Twitter, and more about DJTJ and his dick. Your morning news brief.

For A Beady-Eyed Little Pencil-Necked Fucker, Scott Walker Sure Has Some Balls

Sumbitch thinks he shouldn't have to hold elections because he's planning to change election law sometime in future. SUMBITCH.

Wisconsin Teens March 50 Miles To Yell About Guns On Paul Ryan’s Lawn

Those kids will keep marching, marching, marching, 'til gun sense is breaking through.

On A Scale Of One To Sarah Huckabee Sanders: Wonkagenda For Wed., March 28, 2018

Robert Mueller wants to keep his snitches in jail, Sarah Huckabee Sanders poots some lies about the census, and Sacramento is going to see some UNREST. Your morning news brief.

Books Not Bullets! Wonkagenda For Mon., March 26, 2018

The March For Our Lives swarms DC, Trump's lawyers run from Robert Mueller, Stormy Daniels blows in 60 Minutes. Your morning news brief.

Court Orders Scott Walker To Stop Fucking The Badger

Can't lose an election if you refuse to let the people vote!

How Much This Federal Judge Haaaaate Kansas Vote Suppresser Kris Kobach? Maybe A Little!

The latest installment of Kris Kobach's voter-suppression clownshow is over. Sequels already in the works.

KA-FUCKIN-BOOM. Wonkagenda For Wed., March 21, 2018

Trump phones a friend, Cambridge Analytica has some explaining to do, and Illinois goes to the polls. Your morning news brief.

Too Many Kids Dying From Drugs, Trump Wants To Kill Them Instead. Wonkagenda For Tues., March 20, 2018

Trump wants to crack skulls like eggs, Republicans are worried about 2018, and Facebook is SO FUCKED. Your morning news brief.

Putin Is Watching You Masturbate. Wonkagenda For Fri., March 16, 2018

All your base are belong to Russia, someone threatened Stormy Daniels, and DJTJ gets a divorce. Your morning news brief.