2016 Presidential Election

Sad Jebbers is sadness.

Jeb Bush Admits He Should Delete His Account

Poor Jeb. He was born with a silver bullet in his mouth. On Tuesday, after Jeb tweeted this idiotic picture of a gun with his name on it, his campaign had to clarify that it was not in fact a...
You have GOT to be freaking kidding me.

LOL Hillary Clinton Might Win Sarah Palin’s Alaska

Hillary is playing in LOTS of red states right now. LOL!

Marco Rubio Wins A State, Still Second-Place Champion Of Our Hearts

Aww, serial state-loser Marco Rubio finally won a place! We wonder, though, if this means he'll have to bow out of his run for Second-Place President of the United States of America? Aww, poor Marco; no matter what he...

Martha Raddatz Yanks Talking Stick From Hillary To ‘Splain Donald Trump What ‘War’ Is

Martha Raddatz was a Very Good Moderator!
Abracadabra, ur all gay now LOL.

Obama Endorses Ted Cruz (For Dictator Of Cuba)

Ted Cruz woke up to the news that there had been a bombing that killed so many white people. "YES!" said Ted Cruz, pumping his fist like he saw people do in movies and because he's a dork. "THIS...
History's Greatest Monster, 2016 Edition

Time Travel Hillary Clinton Went Back To 1868 And Made The Democrats Racist :(

Dinesh D'Souza has a new movie coming out, and it is about Hillary Clinton and how she is a very very bad man. For instance! She borrowed Barack Obama's time machine and went back to 1868 and made all...

Donald Trump Will Make It Illegal For #Rigged Media To Hurt His Feelings

In Donald Trump's America, you won't be allowed to make Donald Trump cry!

Benghazi Ambassador’s Sister Would Like Republicans To STFU And Stop Blaming Hillary

What, you mean the Republicans on the Benghazi committee actually don't speak for the families? You don't say!

Meet The Fourth Mrs. Trump, America!

Mister Donald J. Trump got a Very Important Endorsement yesterday, and it was from Phyllis Schlafly! He is very proud to have received her endorsement because everyone knows she should be slobbing the Canadian knob of one Senator Ted...

Donald Trump Very Sad You Nasty People Keep Using His Words To Misquote Him

Another day, another way the world is being 'very nasty' to poor ol' Donald Trump!
Show everyone you voted

Arizona Wins Trophy For Effed-Up Primaries, Has Plenty Of Competition

Congratulations to Arizona's Maricopa County, which did the very best job so far in the 2016 election cycle of completely screwing up its primary election and screwing over urban voters. Thanks to the Supreme Court's 2013 recognition that racism...

Be Like This White Guy Telling This Other White Guy To Stop Yelling ‘Trump’ At The Black Starbucks Barista

Be the human safety pin you want to see in the world.
Cover you mouth, jeeze!

Jeb Bush’s New Sick Burn Against Trump Is The Saddest Thing You’ll See All Day

Jeb Bush continues to try new ways to slapfight back against Donald Trump, who keeps making mean "Your Mom" jokes at him. Accusing Trump of being a "germophobe," however, probably isn't going to be a winning strategy. But who knows --...
Bernie is Da Champ

HuffPo ‘Experimental Journalism’ Thing Breaks Our Brain, Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow!

We tackle an experiment in metamodern journalism about Bernie Sanders, and add some much needed Star Wars jokes.

So What Was The Deal With The Rules Freak-Out At The RNC Yesterday? A Wonksplainer!

We Saw The Best Minds Of The #NeverTrump Movement Destroyed By Madness, Starving, Hysterical
Still neither jailed nor dead

Ted Nugent Disgusted By Wimpy Stabbing Victims, Just Disgusted

Ted Nugent is pretty disgusted by people who let themselves get wounded by knife-wielding maniacs. They're so pathetic.