2016 Presidential Election

If you can pick out the Girl Reagan, you win an Obamaphone!

Who Let A Girl Into Donald Trump’s Sausage Party? Liveblogging The GOP Debate

Lord have mercy what the fuck was that? It was the Kids' Table Debate, for the kids! Now let's watch the real Top Ten candidates, and also Carly Fiorina as "Carly," clawing each other to death (MEOW HISS!), and making...
Boom! Take that, Mexico!

Trump Bodyguard Slugs Hispanican Protester, Seals GOP Nomination For Boss

Donald Trump's security detail put its best fists forward in a confrontation with Latino protesters outside the Trump Tower Thursday, ripping away a protest sign and coldcocking a protester who tried to grab it back. When you watch this...
Field notes: Subject 'Trumpy' issues 'pant-hoot' challenge immediately prior to flinging feces

Trump Shows America How He Will Deport Mexicans, On Live TV!

Donald Trump won himself even more love from the We Hates Foreigns crowd Tuesday as he ignored questions from Univision news anchor Jorge Ramos at a press event, told him to go back where he came from (Univision), and...
Trump / Trump 2016!

Republicans Want Trump, And If Not Him, Then Maybe Trump Would Do

How much do Republican primary voters love Donald Trump? So much that he didn't only lead the latest CNN/ORC poll, released Tuesday -- the Walking Headcase also led the list of respondents' second choice for president as well. Then again, maybe...
We finally realized what Scott Walker's dumb face reminds us of: MST3K's Joel Hodgson *pretending* to be a dipwad.

Scott Walker Doesn’t Think So Good, Hypothetically

Ladies and gentlemen, we would just like to apologize for all the times we've suggested that Scott Walker isn't very bright, because we finally understand where he's coming from. It's not that he's too stupid to answer questions like whether...
Death From Above is Magic

Ben Carson Has Cool Idea For Bombing Mexicans With Drones

Ben Carson may not know anything about actual policy or facts or boring details like how the Supreme Court works, but he's a real quick study when it comes to finding stuff that will excite rightwing supporters. And if...
What we feel like when we click on a Huckabee story. We would have used a picture of a Syrian child, but Wonk readers already have compassion and it's not like that would change Huckabee's heart.

Mike Huckabee Is An Evil, Soulless Sack Of Fermented Rat Jizz, Syrian Refugee Edition

Here are some very recent headlines, about the horrible, heartbreaking refugee crisis enfolding in Syria: Dozens of refugees including babies, children drown as boat capsizes off Greece Heartbreaking Photos Show Refugees' Desperate Attempt To Save Drowning Children Off Coast Of Greece These...

Bobby Jindal Demands Apology From Oregon Shooter’s Father, For Not Loving Guns Enough

Oh looky here, isn't this just so adorbs? Bobby Jindal, the outlaw scumbag Confederate governor of Louisiana, made like a dirty blogger in his mom's basement, and blogged his thoughts about the young man who murdered nine people in...
We could have made a similar picture with Bill O'Reilly's face, but ain't nobody wanna see that.

Fox News Dudes Being Total Girls About Donald Trump’s Sexism

Oh, golly goodness, it would appear that there is once again discord in the House That Ailes Built. After taking a brief vacation, Fox's Megyn Kelly returned to the network Monday night, and Donald Trump drunk-tweeted a bunch of...
Senator, Jesus wants you to sit over there, away from the microphones

Mike Huckabee Didn’t Appreciate Ted Cruz Trying to Hijack His Kim Davis Jesus Party

Mike Huckabee would just like you all to know that if anyone's going to go to jail in Kim Davis's place, it's Mike Huckabee, not that Canadian-come-lately Ted Cruz. Following the hilarious scene Tuesday of a Huckabee staffer blocking...
WHO ME?

No, Donald Trump Did Not Tell That Dumbass He’s Going To Kill All The Muslims

OK, internet, we're going to #slatepitch you for the second time in as many days, and you're going to like it, because Wonkette is right about all the things. The liberals on the computers are currently freaking out over...
OK, but what if the fucker actually won?

Donald Trump Is Your New Ronald Reagan, But Dumber And Less Classy

What you kids need to do sometime today -- and we do mean today; don't put this off -- is to go read Paul Solotaroff's terrific profile of Donald Trump in Rolling Stone, which hit the web Wednesday evening...
Party on

Jeb Bush Asks Media For Help Slurring Brown Babies

Jeb! Bush continued a family tradition this week: say something stupid, then say something even MORE stupid in an attempt to explain the first stupid thing. You see, John-Elias-Bush Bush is having a lot of trouble figuring out what to...
A power bottom for your gay love, and also your dollars.

Help Us Name The World’s First Ted Cruz Hardcore Gay Porn Flick, Starring Ted Cruz!

This thing. You have seen it? It's a real thing, and Ted Cruz is not embarrassed by it! In fact, he's such a fucking know-nothing that he thinks it's COOL. In fact, he thinks it's so cool that he's selling...
Empty-headed fool.

Ben Carson: If The Jews Had Guns, The Holocaust Might Not Have Turned Out So :(

Ben Carson is apparently no longer content to tour American disaster sites, read the names off of memorials, and call all the victims pussies for failing to stand up to the bad guys, with guns. So now he has...
They like representation! They really like representation!

More Bad News For Republicans: Americans SO Gay For Labor Unions

So here's a big fuckin' deal: Despite decades of declining union membership (thanks, "right to work" laws!), a new Gallup poll shows that, for the first time since the recession, a majority of Americans like labor unions again: Americans' approval...