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Our Friends At Penzeys To Paul Ryan: You’ve Got To Be Kind!

Obamacare stories AND stuffed lamb meatballs? Thanks, friends at Penzeys!
You'll be getting real solar power, not just a stock photo!

Go Solar For Christmas, Even If You Live In A Cave! It’s A FESTIVUS MIRACLE!

Here comes the sun -- and you can harness its mighty power!

Are You Reading Political Wire? No? What’s Wrong With You? Are You A Loser? (A Sponsored Post)

Where do the media elites go for the 'inside scoop' on political intrigue? Wouldn't YOU like to know!
Why isn't Mercedes sponsoring wind farms? The branding is right there!

Switch To Clean Energy, Help The Earth And Your Wonkette All At Once With One Non-Weird Trick

Here's a company that's using the good ol' free market to expand the reach of clean wind power. You want to save the planet, don't you?
Is that gorgeous unit a penis pump for YOUR UNIT? Why yes, it is!

Wonkette Dick Jokes Now Officially Sponsored By These Nice Penis Pump Folks!

Oh hi, Wonkers. We are aroused to tell you about some product offerings from one of our new friends, L.A. Pump. Yes, they are penis pumps and pussy pumps and clit pumps, and we know what you are thinking:...

Bend Over, It’s Time To Cram Your Throat With A Piece Of Gay Marriage History!

Official Friend of Wonkette For Real Thom Kostura helped you put a homosexxican ring on your beloved's finger -- what else you put a ring on is protected by Lawrence v. Texas -- and he also can help you...

How Do You Find Medical Marijuana In Faraway Lands? There’s A Website For That!

Greetings Wonkerinos, we bring you glad tidings of great joy, and also legal medical marijuana, which, SCIENCE FACT, is a thing, at least in certain parts of the country! But what happens if you are, say, a human creature...

Track The Government’s Crimes Against The Environment In Real Time

This post was brought to you by our friends at Trackbill. You were ready to die in the North Atlantic, numb and blind in the black water, except it didn't shake out that way. You're not sure exactly how you...

Modern Technology For Your Vengeful God

As a Bible-believing Christian, you’re no stranger to outrage. Only now you’re outraged at yourself. It started with that excellent Arizona bill to protect Godly businesses from gay sinners. You found out about that from the Huffington Post. The Huffington Post, for...

Want To Ditch Mitch And Send Alison Lundergan Grimes To The Senate? Of Course You Do

This post was brought to you by our friends at EMILY’s List. Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired of Sen. Mitch McConnell? Of course you are; everyone is. He’s one of the least popular senators...

How Will We End The War On The War On Women This Year?

This post is brought to you by our friends at EMILY’s List. 2013 was quite the year for the GOP and their never-ending fight to restrict reproductive rights. We saw House Republicans introduce their annual bill to strip funding from Planned...

Here Is Your Sponsored Content From The Heritage Foundation That Looks Like A Wonkette Post. Also Too Boobs.

Today, Buzzfeed won the Internet by letting the Heritage Foundation post a bunch of dumb fucking lie-gifs about Obamacare, which were total lies and not even true? That's cool, Buzzfeed, we know you got that $100 billion investment to...

Sponsored! This Proud Dad Paid Us Sweet Cash Money To Listen To His Son’s Awesome Album For Nerds!

This is not a music blog! This is a mommyblog recipe-hub sci-blog literary salon #WARBLOG! What are we even doing writing about music? WE KNOW NOTHING OF MUSIC! Well tell it to Greil Marcus, who once said we were...