Remember, the Shypixel loves you all, and wants you to be happy.

And The Red States Shall Lead Them — A Steaming Heap Of Bullshit From Flyover Prophet David Brooks

Let us dissect, examine and mock the New York Times's summary of this bullshit David Brooks thinkpiece.

Your 2017 Weekly Top Ten Official Wonkette Babby Picture Review

Boy howdy if the year of our Lord 2017 ain't been one hell of a shit pile. To channel my inner Jim Lahey, a real shit cherry, sitting on the top of a shit sundae, with streams of hot...

Donald Trump Signing Order To Be First President To Send Men To The Moon

Space Emperor Trump To Make Moon Great Again, Please Pray For The Moon
Kneeling is SO disrespectful!

TRUMP UNITES AMERICA! (Behind The Strong, Classy Black Dudes Playing The Foosball)

Trump Sportsball Tweet Has Opposite Of Intended Effect - Whoa If True!
Dok's Magical Vacation

Deleted Comments: The Oh So Brief Return Of Turgid Love Muscle

Hola, Wonkers! It is I, your ever so humble Shypixel here, guest hosting for our beloved but also be-vacationed Doktor Zoom!
Best Game Ever!

Hey, Remember That Card Game We Made? Yeah, We Still Have Hundreds Of Them, Let’s Fix That!

Remember when we had 'elections'? Oh, those were the days! (Also too, it's your OPEN THREAD!)

Wonkette All About Ethics In Gaming Journalism, A Review Of Our Own Elections Of US America – The Card Game

The damn card games are FINALLY here! Check out this bitchen' review we did of our own game, which is totally legit. Le-what? Le-git!
Truck Fump never looked so good

Truck Fump! Truck Him Right In His Ear!

Do you, like all sentient beings on the planet, have a violently strong distaste for presidential candidate Donald J. Trump (nee Drumpf)? Of course you do! Do you, like so very many others, feel the need to express your feelings...
Babbies and bars!

Achtung! Alert! BOSTON! We Are In You Today!

Hey, Boston! Come meet, eat, and greet with Yr Wonkette, the Official Wonkette Babby, and also Shy! Today, from 4:30-7:30, at the Whiskey Priest! Yes, it is way down south, where RV parking grows on trees!
For Science!

Wonkette Needs You! To Beta Test Our Ad-Free Subscriptions

Do you love yr Wonkette? Do you HATE all of our ads? Are you looking to atone for stealing from the WonkBabby's College Fund by using an ad blocker? Do you also enjoy being a guinea pig, and paying...

Wonkette Stealth Updates Design Because Of How We Hate You

"The articles load slow on my Nokia Flip Phone." "Wonkette runs so slowly, it is being overtaken by glaciers." "I fucking hate your site and hope that you die." You, our dear Wonketariat, have filled our inboxes with stories of woe, and...
Donna Rose Clark

Lo Unto Wonkette A Child Is Born

Roughly 353,000 babies were born yesterday. But only one of them was born to your Wonkette. Only one of them was our Donna Rose. She came roaring into this world at 8:36 p.m. on June 11, weighing in at a...
Barely Legal?

How Old Is The Earth? Golly Gee, Republicans Running For President *Just Don’t Know*!

How old is the Earth? The Earth is approximately 4.5 billion years old. How do we know that the Earth is 4.5 billion years old? Magic Science. tl;dr: A bunch of people who know a lot of stuff did all these studies,...
Kaarma Is A Bitch

Murder Is Illegal (Even In Montana)

A Missoula, Montana jury found Markus Kaarma guilty of deliberate homicide, just for killing German exchange student Diren Dede in a carefully laid trap. Even though he used a gun, like a good American Patriotâ„¢, AND the kid was...