Sara K. Smith

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Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

iPhones Are Poisoning Our Babies!

"You must weigh in on this whole IPHONE BABY thing, as I know in my heart that you've read all this stuff, and have Concerns (or No Concerns)," wrote Editor Ken, which was completely untrue: Your former morning editor...

But Obama Promised Us Unpoisoned Baby Food & Non-Mutilating Tricycles!

Your former morning editor has had thoughts of Wonkette bopping around her brain for many months now, honestly, but has ignored old Ken Layne's repeated commands to just write a goddamned column about something because, well, a bunch of...

HERE, READ THIS IMPORTANT THING ON FOOD AID: So apparently there are these things called "ready-to-use therapeutic foods," and they do miracle things for malnourished babies and mothers. But the US does not spend food-aid money on these RUTFs,...

LL Cool J BETRAYED By Fox News

Just yesterday Jim Newell, the most prescient investigative journalist since Nostradamus, very sensibly asked, "What in fuck are and LL Cool J going to talk about" on some crappy Fox News show? The answer is, nothing! Second-most-precient investigative journalist...

Cancel Your Plans To Honeymoon In Dagestan

Rhode Island, "the Ocean State," was ironically unprepared for massive flooding that hit this week. Kathleen Sebelius sent a sternly worded memo to insurers telling them that they had to be nice to children, even the ones with wonky...

Levi Johnston Might Get His Own Show, Too!

It used to be that an ambitious, semiliterate Alaskan had just one route to fame: strike it big while pannin' fer goald and be immortalized in a poem by Robert Service. But recent history shows that all you have...

John Boehner Is So Angry With The Smug Hollywood Liberals In This Video

Remember that time John Boehner got all shouty on the House floor about all the smoke-filled rooms he hadn't been invited into when Democrats were busy writing the health care legislation he hated so much? That one little clip,...

Bombs And Bomber Jackets

President Obama made a surprise visit to Afghanistan, where he checked to see if President Karzai had really cleaned his room or just shoved all his junk under his bed. Then Obama put on a leather jacket and wowed...

Carly Fiorina Earns Coveted (?) Endorsement From Condi Rice

Once upon a time there was a magical fairy princess who toured the world in S&M dungeon garb conducting fake affairs with Canadian dignitaries, and at night she would go home and polish off whole bottles of lukewarm ten-dollar...

Joe Biden’s Favorite Blingee

Oh look, it's the "I'm Just a Bill" guy decked out like an Acorn Pimp, as he entices youngsters into smoking because why not, now that Obamacare has forever removed absolutely all incentive for us to stay healthy! This...

Welcome To The Fantastic World Of Today

A 90-minute discussion between President Obama and Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu did not include the customary public handshake at the beginning, which means that World War III (AIPAC vs. ACORN) will commence shortly. Parents, don't all rush to have...

Freepers So Angry They Will Burn Toast At You!

The latest "put a food item in the mail to Washington, DC in order to send a strongly worded message to whomever" stunt involves ... a cooked bread thing! Note that bread does not appear even once in the...

A Children’s Treasury Of Terrifying Photos About Health Care!

Did you know that your precious Death Panel legislation includes a mandate to resurrect the corpse of Karl Marx thrice yearly, or else face a maximum penalty of one percent of your income plus ten minutes in a dark...

Is This Tomorrow?

Health care reform shocker: American Indians are not subject to the Hitlerous insurance mandate. Why does Barack Obama not want Indians vaccinated against smallpox? Still not clear on when you'll be sent to the Death Panels? Read on. Hillary...

Oh Noes Sarah Palin Got Assaulted By Sam Donaldson’s Wig Maker!

If you ever needed proof that Sarah Palin is totally going bald, feast your eyes upon this confection, courtesy of the Roadside Mulletry and House Of Hair Hats.

Christiane Amanpour Is Your New George Stephanopoulos!

In your continuing coverage of teevee anchors who work on shows you don't watch, here's some news on the foreign correspondent with the bangs and the weird accent! Christiane Amanpour, "the thinking man's Scud Stud," will replace George Stephanopoulos...