Matt Carpenter

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Agenda 21 and Over

Trump To Africa: Give Us Your Blood Diamonds!

How are we screwing African children today?
it's a long way down

Missouri Republicans Here To Help! (Giant Companies That Screwed You Over)

Missouri will be a LAND OF FREEDOM ... from your pesky lawsuits when the shit you buy don't work.
The Titan refugee program was a bad idea, we'll admit

The Resisters, The Resisted, and The Dumb Border Wall: Your Corporate Roundup

Which corporations are sucking slightly less this week? Hint: it's not Uber!
breakout group 3 is the most interesting IMO

Save Us, Davos. You’re Our Only…Nope

Banksters, Davos, and this putz Andy Puzder. It's your Class War for the week!
all you banksters, you must go

Promising White Collar Prosecutions Undoubtedly Safe In Hands Of Jeff B. Sessions

Despite the widespread lender fraud endemic to the foreclosure crisis, nary a Wall Street Big Wig felt the wrath of the criminal justice system. But just in time for Obama's Third Term, the Feds are giving financiers the business. The...
we're from the wall street and we're here to help

Wall Street Landlords Making Tenants Yearn For Creepy, Negligent Archetypes of Yore

The rent? It's JUST RIGHT! LOLOLOL just kidding it is too damn high.

Let’s Pretend 2017 Won’t Be Even Worse! Your Year-End 2016 Corporate Grab Bag

Amazon's dumb Echo speaker, like a Siri with whom you can curl up and watch a movie and ask, "is that the guy from Mr. Holland's Opus??" is dotting the home front for the lonely and the reckless wielders...
2 turtle doves

Did Trump And Wells Fargo Draw Each Other For Secret Santa???

Oh guess who owes crimey Wells Fargo hundreds of millions of dollars, hint it is Donald Trump!
happy holidays

Wells Fargo Apologizing For All The Fraud By Killing Customer Lawsuits

Wells Fargo SO regrets that its terrible local bankers stole from its customers by setting up unauthorized accounts for them, replete with all those yummy fees. The old CEO is sorry. The new CEO is sorry. Everyone is fucking...

TJ Maxx, Marshall’s Decide Not To Bone Employees For Christmas. Michigan, On Other Hand …

TJ Maxx and Marshall's are coming down on the right side for workers; Michigan plays Class Warfare games.
what a drag it is getting sold

A Lot Of Americans Making Black Friday Green With Trips To Pot Stores. While Others…

Black Friday funtimes (and just a couple of deaths) hooray!

McDonald’s Finds New, Easier Way To Shove McDonald’s Down Your Wide-Open Gullet

Everyone having a solid weekend? Hope you're not thinking about pending Cabinet appointments. Is Frank Booth about to be named Oxygen Czar? Hey, at this point, why the hell not? In spite of that whole deal, here's a little...

Trader Joe’s Fires Guy For Wearing Insufficient Pieces Of Flair

Not content with pushing speed sludge to the entire world at all times, Starbucks is yet again trying to save the Union from itself. On Tuesday, Starbucks rolled out a new landfill-bound cup. In an attempt to foster some...
i mean it's not 'grab em by the pussy' but still...

AT&T Loves America So Much It’s Selling Customers’ Privacy Straight To Law Enforcement

AT&T helps law enforcement reach out and touch someone without warrants -- and you help pay for it!

Donald Trump, Flaccid Man Of Chinese Steel: Yr Corporate Roundup

All your Corporate Malfeasance in one easy bite!
don't you dare make me come down there

Elizabeth Warren Will Rip Off SEC Chair’s Head, Sh*t Down Her Neck

Elizabeth Warren has had it with government agencies cozying up to the corporations they're support to regulate.