Linda Tirado lives in the woods and drinks whiskey, because she was told that's what writers do. Find her other writing at though fair warning, most of that stuff is sadly free from profanity or innuendo.

All The Fuckery They Think They Can Get Past Us In Alabama

You didn't think they were actually just going to let people vote, did you? Bless your heart!

There Is A Problem When We Can’t Keep Track Of The School Shootings

This isn't what we hope for, no.

Battertits Is Not An Appropriate Professional Nickname, And Other Lessons From The Restaurant Industry

Workers in the restaurant industry are sexually harassed at astounding rates. We should talk about that!

The Tax Bill Was Not The Democrats’ Fault You Silly Wankers

I don’t even LIKE the Dems and I can tell you that they’re not the problem here.

Sad NYT Nazi YOU’RE FIRED Even Though He Had Such Nice Manners, Sad!

There’s always at least SOME fun news.

Trump: Hey Kid, You Wanna Watch A Snuff Film?

This is the grossest. (We have redacted the parts you don't want to see.)

We Actually Do Need To Talk About Witch Hunts

Wouldn't it be great if there weren't nuances and everyone could be Good or Evil and that was the end of it?

Gun People Making Me Look Bad Again

I'm a gun owner and NOT AN IDIOT. It's not that hard!

Can You Libel A Scaramucci? Can You Catch A Cloud And Pin It Down?

We are wordsmiths over here. Hello, Merriam-Webster?

New York Times’s Nazi Profile Was Better In Original German

We can't ignore the fucking Nazis. We don't have to fawn over them either.

Thanksgiving: Australia Just Humiliated Lady Bigot ‘Pauline Pantsdown’!

An entirely complete and not at all biased history of #auspol.

Yes All Men

No part of this discussion will be comfortable, but it is overdue.

I Also Need $190 Million To Live

We need to talk about the rich people.

No. You Don’t Get To Kill Yourself. Neither Do I.

I'm a relatively new writer here at Wonkette and I regret to inform you that despite my best efforts at just doing dick jokes and satire, it turns out I am going to be the writer that covers death...

Nigel Farage An Actual Nazi

Nigel Farage has some thoughts on The Jews.