Fitzgerald Chesterfield

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Fitzgerald mostly writes recipes. He lives with his beautiful wife and children in Richmond, Virginia, home of the world's largest collection of second place trophies,Monument Avenue. No, it's not his real name; what are you, A Idiot?
This pic could be from the Juggalo march, who the fuck knows?

Watch Out Virginia! Ralph Northam Held Down Your Mother While MS-13 Raped Her, With Votes

Virginia's having a gubernatorial race. Time for shit to get stupid!

Eat This Leftover Stuffing Strata For Every Meal You Can For The Next Five Days

The most delicious way to eat every scrap of those leftovers. Thank us later!

Stay Up Late: It’s A Thing To Do And The Name Of A Drink

With summer unofficially here and the Shenandoah National Park fire out, what a great time to visit a national park and hoist a cocktail. Also, 2016 is the centennial of the National Park Service, so make it a celebratory...
Classics never get old. That's a nice thing you can say to your mother.

Make Your Mother This Pineapple Upside-Down Cake And Cocktail

This weekend marks a celebration of the people who shape young lives with care and devotion, who tirelessly teach and motivate, who coddle injuries and still expect the very best performance. Then, the day after the Kentucky Derby is...

Use Up That Canned Cranberry Sauce, With Booze!

Even if you make Ken Layne's Aunt Wonkette's Real Cranberry Business every year, chances are good that you still put can of the jellied cranberry sauce on your fine china to complete the spread on your Thanksgiving table, strictly for...

We Talked To Trump’s Virginia Supporters. They Seem Nice!

The Donald Trump Traveling Merchandise Show came to Richmond International Raceway this week, giving yr Wonkette the opportunity to get to know the people who make up his populist movement. Who are they? What makes them tick? Do THEY...
Look at this bunch of . . .

Let’s Meet The Biggest Loser Candidate In America. His Name Is Carl!

Peel your eyes off the Republican presidential primary train wreck for a moment, because all 140 seats in the Virginia General Assembly are up for election this fall. Most of the districts are gerrymandered to shit, but one of...

Grill Peaches In Honor Of St. Lawrence, Soak Them In Booze In Honor Of Yourself

Lawrence of Rome was a third century martyr whose feast day falls on August 10. He lived during a time when Roman authorities persecuted Christians almost as much as Barack Obama does today. Born in modern day Spain, Lawrence traveled...
Nope, can't take the Ferrari to prison with you.

Grifty Virginia Governor’s Wife Sentenced To Sleeping On Very Low Thread Counts In Prison

Ice Queen and former Virginia First Lady Maureen McDonnell brought single-digit temperatures with her to Richmond this morning for her sentencing hearing in the case of tobacco pills, unrequited love, and rides in a Ferrari that gripped the nation...

Hey Idiot Juvenile Wonker Pals, Here Is Your Valentine’s Day Boner Juice

This special potion is well-known in the Caribbean to give menfolk virility. It's hard to imagine a beverage better-suited for Valentine's Day, when we celebrate everlasting love (with everlasting boners). Treat your sweetheart right by drinking down one of...

Line Your Morning-After Gut With These Brunch Potatoes

These potatoes are the perfect anchor for Sunday brunch, whether you're having yours at the traditional time or in the wee hours when you get home from last call. A crispy potato cube with runny egg yolk dripping all...

If You Even Know What Love Really Means, You Will Make This Almond Cake From Scratch

Baking a cake from scratch is the best way to show your love for someone on his/her birthday. With a little extra time and effort, mindfulness about your ingredients, and the right techniques, you can bake a really good...

Rub, Roll, Tie Up Big Meat And Heat Until Bulging, Dripping With Fat

Cook big pieces of meat in your oven during the winter to fill the air in your home with warmth and animal fat vapor. Porchetta (pronounced "porketta," and sometimes spelled that way, too) is a pork roast made up...

Here’s Your MMMM Delicious Mustard Sauce For Super Easy Crockpot Corned Beef

Isn't it nice to have dinner mostly ready when you get home from a long day of furiously refreshing Wonkette at the office? A slow cooker makes that easy while minimizing the risk of burning your house down. Let's make a...

Hold On To The Holiday Spirit: Your Friday Cocktail Hour Spiked Cider

Brown and mediciney is the way to kick start to your weekend, especially if you're still trying to work through 2015's first hangover. Do you have half an orange in your fridge from New Year's Eve cocktails? Great. Get...