C.A. Pinkham

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C.A. Pinkham is a former server who somehow fell ass-backwards into this whole getting paid to make words good thing. He will blog for and about food.

Extremely Disturbed Time Traveler Walks Fourth Dimension To Seek Out Arby’s ‘Food’

We've never gotten to use "time travel" and "Arby's" in a headline before. We feel good about it. Dante Anderson of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, was a man on a mission -- specifically, a mission through the twisting pathways of space...

Ocean About To Run Out Of Bluefin Tuna, Life Not Worth Living Any More

So yeah. That's a thing now. BRB, weeping profusely and lamenting the downfall of everything worthwhile in the universe. The AP got their hands on a draft summary of a report from International Scientific Committee for Tuna and Tuna-like Species...

Study Finds Tipping Actually Helps Servers, Is Only Half-Stupid

Oh good: a new study is out that purports to show that the tipping system is actually good for servers and bartenders. We're sure this won't devolve into a smugly dickish thinkpiece-off about tipping (again). The study (we feel ill...

Hey, Maybe Don’t Tell Gay Servers You Hope They Get Stoned (At Least Not With Rocks)

Haven't gotten enough Worst Customer stories in Off The Menu lately? We've got another one for you today. A server at Zada Jane's in Charlotte, North Carolina says an extremely standoffish table not only didn't leave her a tip, they...

Tales Of Restaurant Employees Who Failed Spectacularly

Welcome back to Off The Menu, where we bring you the best and strangest food stories from my email inbox. This week, we’ve got more stories of restaurant employees whose crap was just in no way together. As always,...

Surprise! Farm-To-Table (At Least In One City) Is A Complete Lie

You guys remember farm-to-table, right? That hip new (well, for a given value of new) trend where restaurants source local food to serve to local customers in an extremely local fashion? Yeah, turns out that in at least one...

White Castle Officially Wins Contest For Dumbest Thing Said About Minimum Wage

Another day, another fast food company saying a terrible, extremely stupid thing about rising wages. Surprise! This time, the stupid thing in question is being said by an executive from White Castle, that restaurant your insufferable NY friends (as if...
Like so many movies, most of Jones's ideas are bad adaptations of science fiction

Restaurant Sends Robot Waitstaff To Scrap Pile After They Fail To Serve Man

Hey, you know how plutocrats love to smugly threaten that if food service employees keep seeking a living wage, they'll be replaced with robots? Yeah, about that: a restaurant in Guangzhou, China, tried it, and it didn't work out...

Maybe Don’t Joke About Customers Getting Diabetes, Starbucks Baristas

Oh good, just in time for another edition of What Not To Do If You're A Food Service Employee. An unnamed customer in St. Augustine, Florida, just wanted a white chocolate mocha, which we can understand, as we ourselves suffer...

Here Are Some Truly Horrifying Restaurant Stories

Welcome back to Off The Menu, where we bring you the best and strangest food stories from my email inbox. This week, we bring you something different from our usual happy, cheeky fare: well and truly horrifying restaurant stories....

Domino’s Sued For Stealing All The Wages

Earlier this week, we brought you a story of a minimum wage-related lawsuit. Then we brought you a story about Domino's Pizza. Because time is a flat circle, now we have a story about Domino's as the target of...

Domino’s Customer Outraged After Employee Asked Them Nicely To Stop Being A Jerkwad

A customer is outraged over something a restaurant employee did. Does that outrage reveal them to in fact be the asshole? (Hint: the answer to this question is always yes.) A Domino's customer in Texas ordered a pizza five minutes...

Scott Baio Spending Copious Free Time Yelling ‘Trump!’ At Poor Starbucks Baristas

Remember when Scott Baio was an asshole? No, the other time. No, the other other time. No, the other -- look, we're gonna be here all day at this rate. Point is, Scott Baio is being an asshole again,...

Goodbye Ruby Tuesday, You Are Getting Crap Sued Out Of You

Middlebrow corporate chain restaurant Ruby Tuesday is being sued for making servers work for slave wages. Oops, sorry, we meant to say: Ruby Tuesday is being sued for making servers work for slave wages with slightly higher frequency than...

This Week In WTF Restaurant Stories. Seriously?!

Welcome back to Off The Menu, where we bring you the best and strangest food stories from my email inbox. This week, we bring you some of the most spectacularly insane restaurant stories we've ever heard. As always, these...

We Found A Fast Food CEO Who Is Not Entirely A Jerkface

Wait, we have a Nice Time story about a fast food company? Seriously? That's a thing?! Well, golly gee willikers! Yes, it turns out Sonic CEO Clifford Hudson is not a deranged sociopath willing to paint a dire, ludicrously unrealistic...