Trump’s White House and Scott Pruitt’s EPA stopped the publication of an HHS report that shows how water supplies across the country are toxic and not safe for drinking. Bottoms up!
According to the EPA’s inspector general, Scott Pruitt wanted 24/7 security on his first day in office. Maybe instead of drawing mustaches on his picture, people should be drawing dicks?
Hedge fund managers feel like they got screwed in the Trump tax cuts (for the super rich), and they’re cutting off the GOP’s allowance until they get some (more) of those sweet corporate tax cuts too.
Senate Republicans are fuming in their smoke-filled rooms about the Trump administration’s refusal to apologize for insulting John McCain (again). Meanwhile, Trump himself is reportedly bitching about McCain torturing his dictatorship.
Anti-abortion group the Susan B. Anthony List has announced that Trump will be their keynote for the 11th annual “Campaign for Life,” where they’ll give Kellyanne the 2018 “Distinguished Leader” award for her unflappable ability to leak and lie.
A US District Court judge has ruled that the NRA has to reveal the name of a 19-year-old plaintiff in a suit against Florida’s new gun laws. Gun fetishists tried to shield the plaintiff, but the judge ruled that the person was old enough to wipe their own ass.
Congress is trying to force the pale, white hand of Jeff Sessions to greenlight researching medical marijuana for veterans, and it’s being spearheaded by a rather unlikely hardcore conservative.
Keep your eyes peeled as Congress is getting ready to steamroll legislation over the next few months.
A number of Republican House members are balking at Democratic Rep. Bennie Thompson’s proposal to set up affordable public housing for members of Congress, opting instead to sleep in their offices as public housing might be a “breeding house for something bad.”
Trump’s 2016 inaugural committee got a $1 million gift from some conservative activists who’ve been helping pack federal courts with conservative judges.
Mike Pence has been moving about the big, fat shadow cast by Donald Trump, and that has some people in Trump world worried that Pence is positioning himself to replace Trump as the de facto head of the Republican Party.
Trump’s 2020 campaign is up and running, and campaign manager/chief of pubic beards Brad Parscale says he’s “crushing it,” telling Axios that they plan to spend $1 million a month for 2018 by targeting old people on AOL, Bing, and Trump-friendly news outlets. So far their themes are “democratic obstruction,” the economy, security, and change.
The GOP can’t find any cities willing to host their 2020 convention over concerns about the inevitable army of protesters George Soros and Oprah will pay to appear. Maybe they could hold it in St. Petersburg, or Moscow?
Spike Lee gave a hell of a speech at Cannes about his new movie, Heather Heyer, and Donald Trump’s loud nazi mouth. Read it here.
Fugly Blake Farenthold is coming back to Washington to lobby for the congressional bro caucus, and play grab-ass with interns. Farenthold will reportedly make $160,000, about double what he still owes taxpayers for bailing him out of a sexual harassment suit.
Fearing the very real potential for electoral cannibalism in California, the DCCC has started putting its finger on the scales in congressional races. They’ve added Navy vet. Gil Cisneros to the “Red to Blue” program, are backing Harley Rouda in the 48th against Dana “The Russian” Rohrabacher, and are dumping hundreds of thousands in cash for ads in races to replace Darrell Issa and Ed Royce. (FYI, these “jungle primary” situations are some of the only times Wonkette agrees the party has a place to weigh in in before the general. Cuz otherwise we’re fucked.)
St. Louis Circuit Attorney Kimberly Gardner has dropped criminal charges against Missouri Republican Gov. Eric Greitens, however Gardner has announced she intends to refile charges. Meanwhile, the Republican-controlled state Senate has called a special session to consider impeaching Greitens.
The city of Seattle told corporations to fuck right off and passed a tax on businesses to help homelessness, potentially netting the city $20 million a year.
US officials aren’t exactly sure why Trump suddenly came out in support of Chinese tech company ZTE, and they’ve had to spend the last two days walking his comments back. One thing is for sure, Steve Mnuchin hastold Wilbur Ross to go take a nap.
The Chinese government is dropping $500 million for an Indonesian theme park that will feature a Trump hotel, golf course, and apartment as main attractions. NO COLLUSION NO COLLUSION NO COLLUSION!
As the Trump administration celebrated the opening of the new US embassy in Jerusalem, 58 Palestinians were killed and thousand were injured by sniper fire as they rushed the borders of Gaza; now many foreign policy analysts are doubting the possibility for peace in the Middle East.
The State Department is increasing security at US embassies throughout the Middle East, while Turkey has recalled its US and Israeli envoys, and South Africa has recalled its Israeli ambassador.
The UAE has promoted ret. US Army Lt. Col. Stephen Toumajan to Major Gen. and given him a top post in the Emirati military. Now accused of war crimes in Yemen, he’s told a Florida court that he’s only a contractor — and that’s just the start of this one.
The US Army is considering changing its dress uniform (AGAIN) to mirror that of the the WW2-era “pinks and greens.” We don’t have enough money for veterans, to fix ships and aircraft, or for armor for combat troops, but damned if we can’t find some money for a fucking fashion show.
That grunting conservative jackass from the 1990s got his shitty sitcom back because another trashy loudmouth crank from the 1990s hasn’t been canceled (yet).
Fox’s resident liberal talking head Shep Smith rattled off a list of “Pastor” Robert Jeffress’s spiteful, bigoted comments on air before adding, “Full Disclosure: he’s a Fox News contributor.” Jeffress responded to criticism that he’s a “religious bigot” by appearing on Fox News to cast more stones.
A couple of Senators want to give cops the power to swat your drones out of the sky if they think you might be up to no good.
In a bitchy op-ed, the chair of the House Energy and Commerce committee, Republican Rep. Greg Walden, says that Silicon Valley should come to Washington and tell Congress how the Internet works, or risk being regulated.
Another 4,000 Google employees quit over fears that they were complicit in making kill-bots. [Archive]
And here’s your morning Nice Time! ASIAN SMALL CLAWED OTTER PUPS!