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EPA Administrator Scott Pruitt is in a heap of shit
Do I hear banjo music?

It’s Scott Pruitt’s swamp, and we’re all just swimming in it. We really need to stop predicting Pruitt’s imminent departure — obviously this guy could shoot a puppy in front of the White House, and Donald Trump would still keep him around for his advanced water-poisoning skills. But Pruitt is due to testify before the House’s Energy and Commerce Committee and the Appropriations Committee on Thursday, where he’s likely to get smacked around pretty good. So, fingers crossed!

Okay, time to hit the latest three Pruitt corruption scandals. We’re not recapping the other eleventy ones here, lest we run out of pixels. But we’ll drop in those links, because we’re service-y like that.

Science Fact: Pigshit actually makes the water cleaner!

Remember when Scott Pruitt said that Steven Hart, the lobbyist landlord renting him the fancy condo for $50 per night, never talked to him about EPA business? Yeah, about that

Seems that Hart and his buddy Dennis Treacy, a former Smithfield Foods Vice President, did meet with Pruitt last year. Yes, Hart worked for lobbying powerhouse Williams & Jensen. And, okay, Smithfield was a W & J client. But don’t worry, these guys were only meeting with Pruitt out of their great concern for the health of the Chesapeake Bay. Because who cares more about water quality than a guy who made a fortune from a company that dumps millions of gallons of pigshit into tributaries of the Chesapeake?

Sounds at least as legit as those “bouncy Russian babies”!

Sure Scott has a natural gift for grift. But don’t discount the value of PRACTICE!

The NYT has a long piece on Scott Pruitt’s grift back in Oklahoma, when he was just a newbie scammer with a lot of rich friends. Even then, he was clearly destined for grifting greatness — you really should read the whole article for yourself! Highlights include:

  • In 2003, Pruitt and his friends bought a house in Tulsa from an AT&T (then SBC) lobbyist for $375,000, which was oddly $100,000 less than she’d paid the year before. Luckily, AT&T made up the shortfall, allowing the lobbyist to pocket the full $475,000. Luckier still, Pruitt found a buyer just two years later willing to pay $470,000. Luckiest of all, then-state senator and later Attorney General Scott Pruitt sided with AT&T on a deregulation bill and helped put the kibosh on a bribery investigation into the company!
  • Pruitt’s rise in Oklahoma politics was supported by his buddies Albert Kelly, an executive at Spiritbank, and Kenneth Wagner, a local lawyer. If Pruitt needed a loan to buy a giant house or minor league baseball team, Kelly was there with the money. And if Pruitt “needed” to farm out $600,000 worth of legal work that had previously been handled in-house by the Oklahoma AG’s office, Wagner was there to cash the check. So now Kelly, who has been barred from the financial industry for life because of banking violations, is heading up the Superfund at the EPA. And Wagner is one of Pruitt’s top aides at the agency. Isn’t it bromantic!
  • Oh, and Pruitt’s taste for fancy digs was honed in Oklahoma, where he shifted the Oklahoma AG’s office into prime space in the Bank of America tower at the bargain rate of $12,000 per month, a mere $9,000 more than they’d paid in their old offices. In an amazing coincidence, Pruitt’s PAC and his campaign office were also located in the BoA building. Weird, huh?

HR, how does it work?

Hey, remember Pruitt’s BFF Samantha Dravis? The one who dated Rob Porter and dropped a dime to the White House on his ladypunching ass when she found out he was two-timing her with Hope Hicks? She’s the one getting investigated by badass Congressman Elijah Cummings for getting paid by the EPA without showing up to work for three months, ALLEGEDLY. Dravis’s “employment” at the EPA was scheduled to end on Friday, April 20. But on Friday April 13, the House Oversight Committee sent her an invitation to come down and have a little chat. And by sheer coincidence, Dravis called up HR on the 14th and asked to have her resignation backdated to the 12th. As one does. Do you think Scott Pruitt will get asked about that on Thursday? COULD BE!

If they get time between asking about the illegal employee raises, and the cone of silence, and the lobbyist rental, and the misuse of Clean Water funds, and the first-class trip to Paris, and the illegal targeting of whistle blowers, and the Praetorian Guard, AND AND AND whatever stuff we forgot because we passed out typing all this shit up.

SCOTT PRUITT, GO THE FUCK AWAY!!!

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[NYT / NYT, again / CNN]

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