On today’s episode of “The View,” Mr. Delicious, aka Michael Avenatti, brought his client Stormy Daniels on to reveal the sketch of the man who she says accosted her in a parking garage and made dastardly threats. We watch everything with Michael Avenatti, so it was no hardship at all to tune in for a few minutes. We do not object to more Michael Avenatti, Your Honor, we rest our case.
So, on to the sketch which was done by a brilliant sketch artist, Lois Gibson, whom we have discussed before. Imagine our surprise when we noticed that we almost recognized the hot thug who harassed Ms. Daniels! It actually was astonishing, since the only thugs who threaten us are mostly very ugly, never smell very good either, and not one of them looked like Tom Brady. Yes, THAT Tom Brady. We are not the only ones to notice this resemblance. It is also possible that he looks like a young Bon Jovi. We are not sure.
Stormy herself says that even she noticed that the man was “handsome.” That was BEFORE he stepped up to her and her infant daughter to let her know he was not there for a fun flirtation, he was there to deliver a nasty message. Sad. Sexy men should not be thugs! It makes life confusing because we watch too much TV and the bad guys are almost always ugly on cop shows.
Also revealed in the interview is the fact that Stormy was afraid to tell the police, not only because that is exactly what she was told not to do, but also because her husband had no clue about her fling with Donald Trump. Plus, she didn’t want to have to admit to the cops that she slept with Trump either. Would you?
Why would Tom Brady need a job moonlighting as Trump’s legbreaker? Why would he be in a parking garage harassing little babies? Well, he wouldn’t, but that just means we allegedly have his possible doppelganger running around threatening women and babies for Mr. Trump. This is not a good thing at all, and Mr. Avenatti wants you to email him with good tips to help him locate this Faceless Man who wears Tom Brady’s face to commit thuggery. Send all leads to firstname.lastname@example.org for Avenatti right now!