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Old Handsome Joe Biden has once again deliberately violated Wonkette’s very clearly-stated commenting policy, speculating that if he got the chance, he’d happily pop that ol’ bully Donald Trump one, pow, right in the kisser.

No, Yr Wonkette has not accidentally re-posted a story from October 2016. It’s Biden himself who’s calling back to that story, virtually word for word; during a speech in Miami Tuesday, the 75-year-old former Veep was still plenty mad about Trump’s Access Hollywood tape, and said,

A guy who ended up becoming our national leader said, “I can grab a woman anywhere and she likes it” […] They asked me if I’d like to debate this gentleman, and I said no. I said, “If we were in high school, I’d take him behind the gym and beat the hell out of him.”

There does at least seem to be at least a tangential reason for this replay of Joe Biden’s Metaphorical Hits; the Miami speech was part of a national anti-assault campaign called “It’s On Us,” which we should note does not actually promote old guys taking to fisticuffs in defense of women. Speaking of Trump’s dismissal of the Pussy Tape as mere “locker room talk,” Biden said,

I’ve been in a lot of locker rooms my whole life. I’m a pretty damn good athlete. Any guy who talked that way was usually the fattest, ugliest S.O.B. in the room.

Needless to say, Donald Trump took the taunting with all the grace and cognitive dissonance you’d expect:

For Roll Call, the exchange recalled the 1804 duel between Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton, in which the two rapped with the most sublime wordplay before Burr shot Hamilton dead.

For WaPo’s Philip Bump, it was an occasion to fact-check the absurd, a prospect we can always get behind:


For ubiquitous Twitter photoshopster Darth™ it was a reason to go old school:


And for former Milwaukee County Sheriff David Clarke, who took a brief break from eating paste and fending off wrongful death suits from the families of people who died in his jail, it was the perfect opportunity to call Joe Biden a fag, you hear that, fag? Stop being such a fairy, you fag, HURR HURR:

Yup, nothing like a man who stands for law ‘n’ order making hilarious “don’t drop the soap” anal rape jokes — which, as it happens, are also wholly against Yr Wonkette’s commenting rules.

Frankly, Yr Wonkette would rather that Old Handsome Joe drop this particular schtick, because it’s kind of dopey and doesn’t set a good example for the children. We don’t really need that kind of toxic masculinity in our politics, thanks.

But if he has to challenge Trump, maybe Biden would settle for a race in his ’67 Corvette convertible, which was a wedding gift from his dad.

An elegant weapon for a more civilized [citation needed] age

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[The Hill / USA Today / WaPo]

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