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Who is allowed to talk right now? The ogre on the left? No, it is never the ogre on the left.

MO. THER. FUCKER.

Of all the people in the whole entire wide world who have THE RIGHT to open their mouths about Adam Rippon, America’s favorite figure skater since, we dunno, Michelle Kwan or something, Donald Trump Jr., with his face that looks like he had plastic surgery to make himself look at all times like he just got beat up, ranks very low on the list.

But yet Dumbass Fuckface Trump Junior persisted.

We all know Olympic figure skater Adam Rippon has made news lately, because of how A) he skated the most beautiful free skate in the world the other night and for some reason got basically the same artistic score as a Russian idiot whose “artistry” was nonexistent, and B) he’s been pretty open about how he has no desire to meet ignorant gay-hating loser waste of space Vice President Mike Pence, either at the Olympics, after the Olympics, or at a gay bar in Dupont Circle once Mother Pence goes to sleep.

Guess who’s SO MAD about that second thing? That’s right, it is Donald Trump’s greatest sperm mistake, Donald Trump Jr., who opened his misshapen yapping slit to give his very unimportant opinions on Adam Rippon and Mike Pence:

OK first of all, fuck you, WeenerStump McPantyDribbles Junior. Adam Rippon can talk about whatever the fuck he wants to talk about, and if he wants to read your dad’s piece of shit homophobic theocrat vice president for filth — a guy who incidentally may be a closet case but we don’t know because only Jesus knows what Mike Pence thinks about when he’s having his biannual bout of shame copulation with Mother — then that is Adam Rippon’s goddamned business.

But also? Mike Pence has been reportedly bothered by Adam Rippon’s rejections of his desperate entreaties for some alone time together. Mike Pence just wants to talk! Maybe he wants to give him some old fashioned Christian counseling! We’re not saying Mike Pence wants to give Rippon the same type of Christian counseling that Pennsylvania pastor was caught doing with the tied-up naked guy in his car, but we’re not not saying it either. Again, only Jesus knows Mike Pence’s deepest urges.

Hell, Pence was so bothered he tweeted at Rippon, you know, just trying to say for real he loves Adam Rippon very much and he is definitely here for Adam Rippon, he just wants to hold Adam Rippon and whisper to Adam Rippon and caress Adam Rippon’s delicious abs, allegedly …

FOR THE LAST TIME, MIKE PENCE, ADAM RIPPON DOES NOT WANT TO GO OUT WITH YOU, Christ!

For the record, here is what Rippon actually said about how he doesn’t want his whole Olympics to be about Mike Pence:

I don’t want my Olympic experience to be about Mike Pence. I want it to be about my amazing skating, and um … being America’s sweetheart!

Did you catch that?

Adam Rippon absolutely is America’s sweetheart, at least for the America that matters (not the Mike Pence part).

Rippon continued:

Being here at the Olympics, it does give me a louder voice. And I’ve got a big mouth and a loud voice! I could even get emotional thinking about it, but like, I’ve gotten so many messages from young kids like all over the country, that my story’s resonated with them. And it’s incredibly powerful, like, this platform that you can have at the Olympic games. In addition to all the support I’ve gotten, I’ve heard a lot of people like, “Well, Adam Rippon should tone it down” and blah blah blah. I can’t. I can’t tone it down. I’m being me […] I would be doing myself an injustice, and I’d be doing an injustice to those kids who don’t feel like they’re comfortable to be themselves.

Did we mention how Donald Trump Jr. can go fuck himself? Because he can, but we don’t need to harp on that, because Rippon can clearly speak for himself.

For instance, he speaks for himself in this video, where he tells NBC’s Mike Tirico that when he sees the Olympic ice rink, he gets so nervous that “Um, I want to throw up. I want to go over to the judges and ask can I have a Xanax and a quick drink?”

And he speaks for himself in these tweets:

Did we specify how hard Donald Trump Jr. can go fuck himself right now?

We could go on (clearly), but instead we will leave you with this tweet, which links to the most incredibly beautiful piece written by Richard Lawson at Vanity Fair, about what Adam Rippon represents to young gay kids everywhere who can see him on the TV and look up to a hero who’s like them. Warning: If you are a gay man above 30, it will probably make you weepy.

We may have forgotten to tell Donald Trump Jr. to go fuck himself, so just in case …

Meh, no need to say it again, his own face has been saying it to him in the mirror his whole life.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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  • Relativicus

    I have no idea how you can elevate one Trump sperm-mistake over the others, but whatevs, it’s your show.

    • Thiazin Red

      He did tweet out the evidence of crimes, so that has to get points in the worst perm contest.

    • TJ Barke

      Don Jr is definitely the worst one. He is easily as big an asshole as daddy.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Only not as smart. Which is REALLY saying something.

      • cmd resistor

        Once in a while Eric tries to keep up but his asshole factor is a little bit lower. Although it exists.

  • Mavenmaven

    Now this is the kind of ICE we can get behind.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Privileged white kids are having a spat? Okay.

    So, what are people eating for lunch?

    • RickyG

      canned clam embryos

    • renegade500

      ham and cheese on crackers.

    • Ill_Used_Floppy_Disk

      NW IPA w/ Chicken and black bean quesadilla at Laconner brewery.

    • Darkrose

      Adam Rippon may be a star now, but a guy who stole apples from his training center because he couldn’t afford groceries doesn’t strike me as privileged.

  • armed_bears

    In a battle of wits, never bet on the nitwit.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Or the lackwit… or the halfwit… or the dimwit… Jr manages to be AOT,K!!!!

    • ResistanceFictionista blondeiq

      One of them is clearly unarmed. It’s…unsporting.

  • MynameisBlarney

    My respect and admiration for Mr. Rippon just went all the way up to 11.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      He’s a sassy one.

  • TJ Barke

    The entire Trump circle is an embarrassment to real americans with real values.

  • GoutMachine

    Never start a Twitter war with an atomic-powered sex cheetah.

    • AJ Milne

      This is why I stay off Twitter.

      (/Same principle as SALT II).

      • “M”

        Are they having a SALT II movie? Because they’ve already replaced Angelina for Tomb Raider — I understand, she’s a mom of 6, and can’t run around shooting monsters anymore – but I’m more unhappy than I expected to be about that. Or are you referring to some kind of nuclear talks or summat.

        • AJ Milne

          1) Hadda look up the movie. I lust madly after Ms. Jolie ‘n all, but, damn, but there are a lot of movies in the world.

          2) I see that, in fact, there _is_ talk of making a sequel… Me, I feel like calling anything else ‘SALT II’ is just _asking_ for pain.

    • Hiptobesquare

      “atomic-powered sex cheetah!” I hope Adam Rippon sees this! Fantastic!

      • calliecallie

        He’s quoting some computer guy whose name is also Adam Rippon. He’s been getting some unintended tweets, but has not been mistaken for Adam the skater in person yet. He likened skater Adam to the sex cheetah and himself to a “potato-power sex sloth.”

  • How about if he went to Philadelphia and committed arson and property damage. Would that be an appropriate response to being excited about winning a sports thing?

    • Nockular cavity

      No, what the hell’s wrong with you?

      Oh, I’m sorry, were we talking about white people? Carry on then.

  • ArgieBargie

    It’s Rippon vs Rip-off.

    • C.W. St. John Nobbs

      Alternately, it’s Rippon vs. Jagoff

  • Thiazin Red

    The “I studied the blade” thing I see everywhere, is that a reference?

    Also, the part about wanting to give him christian counseling reminds me of these weirs as hell voice mails I have on an old answering machine. Our phone number used to belong to a church, so we constantly got calls for them. One day we came home to find two voice mails from someone claiming to be a farmer. He went on about how he was looking for some strong healthy christian men to do some hard work for him.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Uday is the clown prince of really stupid tweets. For example, incessantly whining about Weinstein when his own dad is Weinstein’s role model.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Go Adam!

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    For a guy who spent his college years all scuffed up from stumbling around in a drunken stupor, passing out, and pissing in other people’s beds, he sure has a lot of fuckin’ opinions about others.

    • TJ Barke

      He has money, so he obviously is a quality person, right? That’s what determines your worth, right?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        If you’re correct, that makes me lower than an insect.

      • Spurning Beer

        You have to figure in the debt load, too.

    • Right? Go pee in the corner, ya sad Trump turd!

    • cmd resistor

      Not condoning someone sending cornstarch in a letter to him (which someone did) but the actual letter said, you are a horrible person, or words to that effect.

  • +1 for “we the gays”

  • memzilla Ω

    I’m just wondering what brand DJTJ uses on his hair: Castrol? Quaker State? Pennzoil?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Acme axle grease

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Well, the Castro is for the gheys, so it’s not that one.

    • Jizz

      • C.W. St. John Nobbs

        Rancid wombat jizz, IIRC

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Sperm whale oil.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    A gay figure skater?!? Now I’ve seen everything!

  • La forza del resistino

    cool fact I found that Adam and super 3X axel lady Mirai are bff’s and roomies at the Village. Would Mother Pence approve?

  • ResistanceFictionista blondeiq

    I didn’t think I, old straight woman, could crush on Adam any harder. I was wrong.

  • William

    I can never remember. Is Donald Jr. the stupid one, or the other stupid one? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/613af3470e95f9c3598556d9e5e4c8ef27e915ba1c7d13c7e56cd043c4e2ca61.png

    • GoutMachine

      Beavis & Butthead

      • “Unpresidented” Linda

        Uday and Qusay.

    • TJ Barke

      They’re both idiots, but jr. is the bigger dickhead.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        “….terms and conditions subject to change.”

    • Crystalclear12

      It’s one of those every other day things.

    • CripesAmighty

      Changes day to day as they claw their way to the bottom of the crab pot.

    • “Unpresidented” Linda

      Yes.

    • Bright Bart

      why is there a smaller, tiny nose INSIDE Eric Trumps nose (other nose)
      or did he get kitty cat plastic surgery? is he a hobgoblin?

    • cmd resistor

      When I see photos of those guys I think of the hapless criminals in Home Alone. Although they were smarter. You have to go WAY back to find photos of the Trump Boys that are at all cute (I’m talking maybe age 5 and down.)

    • Uncle Mark

      If only those Trump boys believed in patricide like the Menendez brothers did. (Then again, maybe that’s my Daddy Dotard keeps his bedroom door locked and is afraid of being poisoned.)

  • GoutMachine
    • renegade500

      Summer event: hey, let’s go swim some laps.
      Winter event: let’s get on a sled and throw ourselves down a hill of solid ice with about 40 jillion turns, going 100 mph with only a helmet to keep us from certain death.

      • GoutMachine

        I saw another one that said something along the lines of all Winter Olympics events are some form of sliding.

        • renegade500

          That seems about right to me.

          • GoutMachine

            Or, as the great Curtis Armstrong said in the great “Better Off Dead”: Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn.

          • renegade500

            I tried this once (in my misspent youth) on roller blades, only when I turned, I realized I was turning into a whole bunch of road traffic. I opted for fall on your ass real fast so you don’t shoot out into traffic.

          • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

            Two dollars…

      • dshwa

        And then someone said “Hey, what if we did it head first instead?”

        • renegade500

          I mean, who was the first person to come up with some of these things?

          I get things like cross country skiing (it’s a form of transportation in certain climes), but skeleton, ski jumping, I can’t even.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Summer games: based on evolutionary skills early man developed to survive and thrive.

            Winter games: based on “Hold my beer and watch this…”

    • renegade500

      Summer event: I feel like a bike ride.
      Winter event: I feel like slapping on some skis and throwing myself off a motherfucking mountain.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Today we are ALL glamazon bitches ready for the runway.

  • RickyG

    Junior couldn’t win a medal in The Toilet Bowl.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    “…biannual bout of shame copulation with Mother”. You stole that from Shakespeare, didn’t you?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Shamelessly paraphrased from “the beast with two backs per year”.

  • sweeper

    I’m a hetero old lady and I totally cried.

    • AJ Milne

      Straight* guy, and likewise.

      (*/Well, to first approximation, anyway. And Kinsey: quiet, you!)

      • BearGHAZI

        College stuff doesn’t count bro

    • renegade500

      Same!

  • weighmaster

    Those gifs are in time with this song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_i7PKdQJU4

  • Mr. Blobfish

    My guess is that it is Mother that really wanted to meet him. She probably made the trip a living hell for him being such a God-botherer.

  • Tennessee Rain Genius

    Holy crap. That is one beautiful man. Definitely one to help a certain someone get over their Jared crush. amirite?

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    The best thing you can say about Jr., is that he was one of a hundred million sperm. And somehow all of them were less evolutionarily fit than he was.

    • C.W. St. John Nobbs

      All things considered, he is likely from the sperm that drew the short straw.

    • MynameisBlarney

      That, or they had an instinctual loathing of turmp and were just like “No, we’re good Jr., you go on ahead, we’ll catch up later.”

    • Grokenstein

      Like everything about his father, he is a by-product of fate, an errant squirt, a sperm cell that ‘got lucky’ and now is convinced of its own godhood.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QedVjF5vpQE

    • Rags

      No – this is just genetic drift in action. Drifting slowly, slowly downward, of course.

  • renegade500

    I, an old (well, middle-aged for sure) straight woman, love Adam Rippon so much harder right now! How could I not love him, he’s adorable! And a fabulous athlete, too!

    • OutOfOrbit

      trying to fix now

    • OutOfOrbit

      oops, wrong address sorry

      • renegade500

        hahahahaha!

    • La forza del resistino

      Me too. That Pride thing is taking effect after too long.

  • Crystalclear12

    Twitter should have more rules about who gets an account.

  • Indiepalin

    Rippon to Pence: Not today, Satan.

  • OrG

    This guy does NOT know when to STFU.
    Might be hereditary.

    • Arolpin

      This guy does NOT know when to STFU ANYTHING.

      FTFY

      • GoutMachine

        Jon Snow libelz!!!!1!

    • La forza del resistino

      He lacked a grammy’s message of ‘you’re skating on thin ice, buster’. Bless his heart.

  • Treg (ง •̀_•́)

    Hey Junior, remember that time in college Trump Sr. slapped you so hard it knocked you to the ground?

    I sure do.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Adam Rippon has a chin. Dimwit Jr. does not. I rest my case.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    The only thing DJTJ knows how to skate on is debt.

  • La forza del resistino

    Keep it up Jr. and your remaining career options will be holding public office in Alabammy.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Resistor Radio

    I love Adam Rippon so much!!!!!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    There’s probably a line around the block of people who want to meet young Adam. The only person who wants to meet Junior is some sad College Republican.

    • OutOfOrbit

      or somebody he borrowed money from

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      And perhaps Robert Mueller.

  • Fire and Fury Demme

    Junior is on the wrong side of history.
    What a fool he is!

  • YoBunnyBunny

    I just love the sentiment of this tweet… “Failing” isn’t the worst thing to happen to anybody. If you learn something from that failure and come back a better, stronger, more successful person, failure is a net positive.
    I would rather try, fail and learn how to be a better person. A lot of goodly Americans (and Not Americans!) strive to be better for all our mistakes. Unlike a certain segment of the population, who’d rather give off the pretension of being “successful” despite being the usual fuck up, who rides out their mistake on a buoy of money and arrogance, instead of being dragged to the bottom of the ocean floor as they should.

    https://twitter.com/Adaripp/status/963402728704638976

    • Jennaratrix

      As a dear friend and mentor told me last week, if you fail, fail forward.

      • OutOfOrbit

        always

    • OneYieldRegular

      “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”
      – Samuel Beckett, Worstward Ho, 1983

  • Jennaratrix

    Glamazon Bitch is the name of my New York Dolls cover band. I’M THE DRUMMER!

    • YoBunnyBunny

      I wanna play tambourine!!!!

      • Jennaratrix

        YOU’RE IN!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Can CAPS LOCK BITCH open for you?

      • Jennaratrix

        Only if you give a cameo to HOLDING THE SHIFT KEY BITCHES.

      • C.W. St. John Nobbs

        Is that the band that redoes DCHC covers in the style of the Backstreet Boys?

        • Jennaratrix

          Thanks a LOT. Now “I Want it That Way” is stuck in my hand. Welcome back to 1999…

          • Very Stable Bozi

            During cold and flu season you should wash your hands more often, ;-)

          • Catstro, Very Stable Girther

            And dammit, now Weird Al’s parody of that song (“eBay”) is stuck in *my* head

          • Jennaratrix

            I mean, but that’s better than BSB, right? Going to listen now.

          • Jennaratrix

            And now I’ve fallen down the Weird Al rabbithole…

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      Can I play the cow bells?

      • Jennaratrix

        Only if you seriously overplay them at Christopher Walken’s direction.

    • OneYieldRegular

      o/~”Trumps, throw ’em out, they’re an awful thang!”

  • calliecallie

    I like it when Adam Rippon rips on the evil ones.

    Edit: trying to be funny, but I feel like this comment is all wrong. Adam’s not ripping on anyone, is he, really? He is just being glorious.

    I take it back. Instead let me say I like it when Adam Rippon does pretty much anything.

  • Indiepalin

    Hey Pence. If you can’t love yourself then how the hell are you going to love somebody else?

  • Anna Rompage

    Jr is that guy that only gets invited out, because everyone has the expectation that he’s going to pick up the tab after a night of debauchery…

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Dozens of friends and the fun never ends, that is as long as he’s buying.
      (With apologies to Styx.)

  • Friday’s_cat

    Junior doing himself?
    Think his member is long enough for a between the legs reach-a-round?

  • janecita

    I’m not a gay man, and that Richard Lawson story made me ugly cry.

  • jaspersdad
  • La forza del resistino

    At 28, Adam has worked at his craft for maybe 20 years. At 30someting, JR is still working on how much hair goop to apply.

    • Cliff Hendroval

      Diaper Don (his college nickname) is 40.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • DerrickWildcat

    Thank goodness for those little stoner kid events or we’d be like tied with Kazakhstan in the medal count!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Red Gerard libelz.

  • janecita

    OT, Stormy Daniels is ready to talk bitches!

    • OutOfOrbit

      what about?

      • janecita

        Trump’s limp dick.

      • Anna Rompage

        Roy Cohen paying her $130,000 so that he could lick up the puddle that she and Donad left on the bed…

        • janecita

          You couldn’t resist, you had to repeat yourself!

          • Anna Rompage

            Yep, I thought it was pretty good for being so crass and unpalatable…

        • OutOfOrbit

          puddle of what? me not wanna know

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      How much is she charging?

      • janecita

        130,000 seems to be her fee:-)

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          She and Omarosa should have their own reality show.

          • YoBunnyBunny

            I’d be rooting for Stormy. More trustworthy.

    • YoBunnyBunny
    • Blackest Noobs

      how so?

      • jeffg166

        He talked.

        • Blackest Noobs

          who talked? Stormy is a lady…a porno lady, but lady…so who is the he?

          • jeffg166

            The lawyer.

        • Blackest Noobs

          oooh you guys mean this:

          http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-43055995

          Stormy Daniels is no longer bound by a non-disclosure contract after Mr Trump’s lawyer admitted he paid her, manager Gina Rodriguez says.

    • Anna Rompage

      Yes, it appears that Cohen coming out and admitting he paid her breaks their contract, so she is now free to talk. Supposedly..

    • MynameisBlarney

      I’m wondering if she’s just trying to extend her 15 minutes a bit.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        You think Trump lasted that long?

      • jeffg166

        She’s got DVDs to shill.

  • tone it all the way up, Adam!

  • Ray in VT

    Pence is so for Adam, just not him and people like him having all the rights.

  • Very Stable Bozi
  • RMKH

    “…biannual bout of shame copulation with Mother…”

    Classic Evan. Thank you sir.

    • renegade500

      I can never remember if that’s twice a year or every other year (I think it’s the latter). I supposed I ought to high myself to ye olde google.

      • ResistanceFictionista blondeiq

        I was about to ask Evan if he really meant “biennial” (that’s every two years, like some oddball garden plant).

      • grindstone

        Semi-annual?

  • goonemeritus

    My heart still belongs to Sonja Henie, but I’m old.

    • RMKH

      Dorothy Hamill

      • BreakingDeadMen

        Minnie Mouse (I was young)

  • aureolaborealis

    Guy who sucks at everything (except being born into a crime syndicate) says what about guy who is one of the best in the world at a thing that’s very hard to be even mediocre at?

  • BreakingDeadMen

    How is Mike Pence a disgrace, let me count the ways
    He pouts like a bitch and hates on the gays

  • John Iwaniszek

    These trump sons-of-bitches are evol.

  • Bill D. Burger

    ♥♥♥ To errrebidy’ uv all political persuasions! ♥♥♥

    https://i.redditmedia.com/tn4qHkVNndTrp8_eH7ij_nSHAmqrapU4pFYOLPayaAA.jpg?w=720&s=4220d202624dcbe7961c7e45f33fdcca

    Gettin’ the stinkeye. Gotta’ run.

    • Anna Rompage

      My love trumps that other guy….

    • Doug Langley

      “Don’t be dense love Pence”

      Mmm, needs work . . .

      • Toomush Stability

        Yeah, “intense” is also a non-starter…

        • Ill-Advised

          Pensive, expensive, and offensive are just begging to be used. But today I am not witty.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Roses are red,
      Trumps are pushy,
      Be my valentine,
      Or I’ll grab your pussy.

    • AJ Milne

      Khmer, I Rouge le jour tu es partie.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Came at her like a bitch.

    • aureolaborealis

      I’m bigly stupid,
      My kids are more dumber,
      Vlad made me rich,
      Now gimme a hummer.

  • Ling Ling

    One person worked hard, the other was was accidentally born (wealthy). Who would I rather hear from?

  • Between this bitchiness, the Halloween stunt he pulled on his own daughter, and all the dead cat (and other dead animals) photos, he is pretty bad, but is he really the worst trump spawn?

  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

    Yahoo covered this but managed to get it completely wrong.

    https://sports.yahoo.com/donald-trump-jr-rips-adam-rippon-mike-pence-drama-032416872.html

    Don Jr. is actually right with the first part of that tweet. Any public figure wishing to stay clear of political stories should never become involved with one in the first place because, again, this is 2018 and the news media is going to bleed any storyline for all it’s worth.

    How can anyone stay out of politics now? Especially someone the President and his administration wants to treat as second class citizens?

    • did Cillizza write that?

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        Surprisingly no.

    • theblackdog

      ^^^^^ THIS

      Besides, Pence got involved first by asking for the meeting.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    It makes me laugh when people like the Taint talk about their great genes being responsible for their success. If he hadn’t been born halfway between third base and home, Taint be homeless or in jail. As for the idiot boys, I would love to see either of them perform an actual act of labor or work at an actual job with an actual boss who will not care what their last name is.

    • Ling Ling

      Exactly right. I have never read anything interesting or remarkable about these people. This is why I believe in large inheritance taxes. The rich already start w/such a huge advantage. Level the playing field and let’s see if they really are so damn gifted.

      • Jim Johnson

        Absolutely. 100% inheritance tax, so these spoiled brats have to stand on their own two feet and not just concentrate wealth. Ok, maybe an exemption for passing a family farm to hard working offspring.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Yes!

  • jaspersdad

    Appears I should have posted this here rather than the previous article.

    Headline over at The Guardian

    Mike Pence International Man of Misery

    “It is, perhaps, a question as old as athletic competition itself: who is sport’s worst spectator? Of all the absolute arses, watching all the sports in all the world, who is the most unspeakably irksome, the most antithetical to everything you thought you knew about the power and possibilities of physical contest? Whose name is Death, Destroyer of Sports? Who is Earth’s foremost sporticidal maniac?”

  • azeyote

    whenever a trump is involved there’s no chance of common sense getting anywhere –

  • Scooby

    The only time Donald could spin around like that is if he got hit by a car.

    • OutOfOrbit

      tease!

  • MynameisBlarney
    • OutOfOrbit

      it won’t hurt as much if we don’t see it coming

    • BigHorn

      Jesus, take the wheel.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Press briefing delayed 2 hours…so far. Katy Tur says they’re probably stalling to get their lies story straight.

    • GoutMachine

      Why bother to start now?

      • TheGrandWazoo2

        Seriously, since they fall apart before the briefing even ends.

        • YoBunnyBunny

          IKR? It’s not like the WH press corps has a history holding their feet to the fire for every lie they tell in real time.

      • dshwa

        Last time they took 2 hours they still couldn’t manage to get their story straight, and then it got disproven in less than 24 hours anyway

      • Toomush Stability

        Yeah? Wait until they quit trying…..that’s the ticket!….

    • lol. that ship has sailed last week.

    • cmd resistor

      Which story would that be? I guess Cohen will be a big one. I see another WH official resigned over a security clearance issue due to smoking pot in 2013. Then there are immigration things. Also, too, I just saw a headline saying Stormy says Cohen broke the non-disclosure agreement. BrB, I have to read that one.

      • SweetDeeKat

        Anyone here know about federal agent security clearances? Because I knew a couple federal agents (FBI, FSA) who said weed wasn’t a big deal anymore. I mean, they don’t want you toking up in the car, but past use isn’t a dealbreaker.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Anybody from the FBI testifying in Congress later today?

  • writersbloc

    TDIL “glamazon bitch” is a thing.

    • MynameisBlarney

      “technology development for Indian languages”?

      • Ling Ling

        Can you imagine the keyboard? Would make emacs look tame.

        • Skeptical_thinker

          “emacs” is a funny way of spelling apl, don’t you think?

          • Ling Ling

            Snicker. You are very ancient. So am I.

          • Skeptical_thinker

            Punched paper tape ancient. You?

          • Ling Ling

            Oh, ya. 5 bit baudot FTW!

          • Skeptical_thinker

            I did a project for the Norwegian weather service. 4.5 baud for image (!) delivery.

          • Ling Ling

            Wow. Those images must have taken forever. My excuse was US DoD keeps machines long past their expiration. My first job was Burroughs using ALGOL 58.

          • Skeptical_thinker

            I graduated to a Burroughs B-500 and punch cards. Non-contiguous, duo-decimal FTW.

          • HogeyeGrex
  • jaspersdad

    In Russia, paint watches Mike Pence dry.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      What a country!

  • Treg (ง •̀_•́)
    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Beware! Between this tweet and the Rippon story, the onion ninjas are out in force!

      • Courser_Resistance

        I’m too hollowed out and empty to cry anymore.

      • Treg (ง •̀_•́)

        The Obama’s have the same effect as kittens :- )

        • Karen

          Goℴgle is giving every one $97 per/hr to complete few services from a laptop .. Work Some just few time & stay more time together with your own loved ones . Any one can also apply this special offer!!last Saturday I got a gorgeous McLaren F1 just after making $10,000 this past six weeks .no doubt it is the coolest job however you could not forgive yourself if you don’t read this.!ae46j:⇄⇄⇄ http://GoogleSuperMakeMoneyEasyJobs/earncash/97$/per-hr ♥♥♥h♥m♥m♥♥♥y♥♥♥h♥♥d♥♥e♥j♥♥e♥♥♥b♥♥♥h♥♥n♥♥n♥♥q♥♥y♥♥♥t♥♥♥c♥m♥i♥f♥♥s♥♥♥i♥♥k♥♥♥a♥♥y:!vx583t:ud

    • Ling Ling

      Such great role models.

    • rocktonsam

      sigh

    • grindstone

      Look at her, just look at her slapping his hand away and walking past stone-faced….oh, wait….

    • LadyLaz

      This is real love

    • Red Richmond

      America’s mom and dad, right there. Them and my parents (44 happy years together this last January!) are my role models for making marriage work. If my wife and I can be together as long and go through a tenth of the shit they’ve endured as still come out obviously happy and in love, then I’d say we’ve done alright.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Hahaha! No, we’re not really waiting for anything from any of the Trumpians…

      https://twitter.com/RWPUSA/status/963823386194599937

  • Bureaucrap

    Evan, just FYI, Dupont Circle is done. The appropriate reference now is “U Street”.

    • Thiazin Red

      No the street layout in DC is already fucking stupid, they can’t go changing names around too.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Adam Rippon is most definitely not a part of the Russian government’s efforts to help Junior’s dad. That’s why Junior isn’t saying “I love it!”

  • SayItWithWookies

    Donnie Junior is an inspiration to rich overprivileged assholes everywhere — he showed them that with a lot of nepotism, not paying any goddamn attention at school or the rest of life, and no talent whatsoever, they too can help fuck up daddy’s presidential campaign by admitting to colluding with Russia.

  • Me_And_My_Arrow
    • Zippy W Pinhead

      or in Peter Thiel’s case, achieve immortality

    • TexasDumb

      Crap. I’ve been doing it wrong.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      That’s just today’s special at the Abortionplex food court.

    • LadyLaz

      Lol. I love them. They are funny

  • Mr. Blobfish

    There have been several leaks out of the White House recently that paint an unflattering portrait of White House chief of staff John Kelly, and the New York Times’ Maggie Haberman says that Kelly’s allies now believe the leaks are coming from President Donald Trump himself.

    The Page Six President just can’t help himself.

    • GoutMachine

      I thought they came from John Barron.

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        Ronald J. McTrump

    • Victoria Ricola

      Yep. Suddenly we’re supposed to believe that Donald and Javanka haven’t been trying to get rid of John Kelly since the first time he was called the “adult in the White House” and it’s really other randoms are leaking this crap to John King and Dana Bash. Please. This is obviously Trump driven.

    • Toomush Stability

      It’s coming from inside the other closet!…

  • IMPOed

    Adam Rippon Bitch Slaps Mike Dence, makes Little Donny Cry!!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/355e973dd988674daeb66a6525737352600b8c23eadb84729061121771b86e24.jpg

    Be TRUE to who YOU are, BEST ADVICE EVER!

  • M Dubs

    Okay, so maybe I’m missing some context for this, but Mike Pence calling his wife Mother doesn’t seem like a fair reason to make fun of him. My parents still call each other ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad’ in front of me and my brother, and we stopped being children AGES ago (or at least, we stopped PHYSICALLY being children). Even my grandparents call themselves Grandma and Grandpa in front of us.

    I agree with Wonkette 100% on every other they insult they sling towards… Well, pretty much anybody. But calling your wife Mother just seems to me like one of those things people do for their kids.

    Thoughts?

    • cmd resistor

      It doesn’t bother me that he does it. Just about everything else about him does.

      • M Dubs

        Right? Kinda my point there.

    • OutOfOrbit

      the diff is “in front of” you.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Mooooooo-oooooooom…

    • OrG

      Nasty. Vile. Snark. Mob.

    • Toomush Stability

      That, coupled with his fundamental parochial religionism, his fear of being seen with other women, and his stances on abortion and women in the workplace, make it a kind of throwback motif. Any other questions?…

      • Trump’s Potemkin Village

        I think the alleged “fear of being seen with other women,” is a transparent ruse to hide where his true interests lie. If you’ve ever seen a picture of him surrounded by his all male staff, he is lit up like a Christmas tree.

        • Toomush Stability

          Can you imagine if Barack had called Michelle this, when talking to the press? The entire rightwing press machine (pretty much errybody) would have made it an impeachable offense…

          • Snowbound Ron

            Hell, with that, Michelle would have cut him dead. He’d’ve been sleeping in Biden’s office for at least a month.

    • GoutMachine

      I think most do that, but only because to YOU they are “Mom” or “Dad.” Mine did that, too. That’s normal. But referring to them that way to others or each other? Weird and also very Norman Bates.

    • Thiazin Red

      My grandparents refer to each other as mom and dad when talking to their kids or grandkids, but call use their names with everyone else.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      It’s just creepy when not in the presence of their own children. It really only flies when kids are around.

      If a co-worker were to come into the office and refer to his wife in front of me–a grown person, with no children present–as “Mother”, I would totally be squicked the fuck out because they MUST be engaging in some freaky-deaky mommy-daddy public sex play in full view of the unconcerned public. That’s just my take, at least…

    • rocktonsam

      I call my kid’s mother and ask her where’s the 3500.. she owes me.

      • H0mer0

        you can kiss that g’bye. Lawyer fees eat that up real quickly

    • LadyLaz

      Because grown men don’t call their wives “mother” to the press and the US. In addition, as someone pointed out below, context matters. This guy has scary regressive beliefs.

    • MsEdgyNation

      I know an old man who calls his wife Mama Ruth, but EVERYONE in the neighborhood calls her that, so it would actually be a little weird if he didn’t.

      On the other hand, Pence referring to his wife as Mother to the press is fucking creepy.

  • SC

    Didn’t you just know it was coming? Didn’t you just know that one of the Drumpfs was going to weigh in, and negatively? So now they are going after Olympic athletes. It just boggles the fucking mind! Adam Rippon is so brave. I hope he has lots of support after being attacked by THE PRESIDENT’S SON! So unbelievable.

    • cmd resistor

      The fact that any of them are making personal attacks on people is horrid. I can’t think of any other president or family of president who was so crass, even the ones I thought were awful people.

    • Sakonyachen

      Good thing it is a President’s son whose worthlessness is only overshadowed by his father’s, so it should matter much.

    • Paul Winters

      People were talking about something other than THEM.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    bianal bout of shame copulation with Mother

    FIFY

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Reporter: “Stormy! Stormy!!! Have you really fucked the President?”

    Stormy: “Not yet.”

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    The kid has Obama’s ears. He must be okay.

  • Reximus
    • cmd resistor

      Did he have it written on his hand in Sharpie?

    • Blackest Noobs

      HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA ooooh fucking god HA HA HA HA HA HA how many fucking days has it been?

      ok, we believe you…..NOT!!!!

    • renegade500

      Sounds like he really had to think about it.

      • RobGinChicago

        Now he’s really pissed off at his “handlers.” First they make him dolefully read a ghostwritten statement saying that he’s against White supremacy, and now this; it’s really taxing the patience of his base.

    • MamaBrown

      Jesus. Ladies and gentlemen. We have a president who feels compelled to state that he is opposed to domestic violence. Who the hell is FOR it?

      • BigHorn

        The very same asshole.

      • Bad Tom

        Well, Trump is. That’s why he had to deny it.

      • Vel Venturi

        At one time I thought the same thing about Nazis, but who knew?

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          He won’t say that though. His base would never forgive him.

        • MamaBrown

          well, I hear some of them are very fine people.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Tomorrow’s tweet:
      “I’ve known some very fine people who put cigarettes out on their wives. I bet Bill Clinton has, especially after Crooked Hillary lost so bigly to me.”

      • Cat Cafe

        No, no, you mean: “I bet Crooked Hillary has, to her real wife Huma”

    • kareemachan

      And as I said elsewhere, who would believe this when it’s been a week and practically had to be dragged out of him.

  • LadyLaz

    I like the swagger on that Rippon.

    • MamaBrown

      same. I like the cut of his jib!

      • Uncle Zor

        And that jib is CUT.

  • B0rchkins

    Some genius on the interwebs dubbed Jr “Traitor Tot”. Now, I can’t think of him as anything else.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Oh that is delicious!

    • HogeyeGrex

      That’s aaaaallllll-righta.

    • Jennaratrix

      I’m not good at thinking of these things, but I’m great at stealing and repeating. Traitor Tot is outstanding.

  • Blackest Noobs

    i betcha Don Jr. sent his wife the note and the cornstarch.

    it seems like something he would do.

  • Uncle Zor

    Dumbass Jr. tweets the same way that he deadlifts:
    https://youtu.be/RIhAlmHA2ZA

    • Blackest Noobs

      the blue weights are empty….there’s nothing in them.

      • Uncle Zor

        Either way, that one move probably took about ten years off his lower spinal column.

        • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

          Objection: Assumes backbone previously in evidence.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Like his head?

    • NastyBossetti

      My back hurts just looking at that. Sound wasn’t on. Does it say how much weight that is?

    • Viva La Tabula Raza

      GO PROLAPSED COLON GO!!!

      • Enter Ranting

        You’re talking about Jr.’s mouth, I presume.

    • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

      Remember when everyone was concerned about babbies having babbies? Well, now we get to see the consequences of dumbbells lifting dumbbells.

    • GlazedHaim

      Well.. looks like he has 6 45lbs plates on plus 45lbs bar, so that’s 315. Can’t tell what’s at the end, but they look like 10lbs plates, maybe 3 per side. 375lbs not a huge lift but a terrific way to fuck up a lumbar spine with that form. I for one hope he keeps at it.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    I loved when Rippon sent out a pic of him hugging the other hot Olympics dude, to Pence, with the message “eat your heart out.” Mike Pence, like every other homophobe, is a big ole closeted Nancy boy. Rippon was pretty much letting Pence know that he knows Pence wants peen.

  • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

    Tell us how you really feel Evan, don’t hold back. Also Happy ❤💖🌹 Day!

  • Manhattan123

    I guess sending the envelope of white powder to his own home didn’t get enough attention, so the Traitor Tot decided to attack an Olympic hero. He has officially supplanted Eric as “the stupid one.”

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Adam Rippon gives me all the feels.

  • Upright Ape

    Adam Rippon is a hero. In addition to being “a Glamazon Bitch ready for the runway”. Make that Super Hero. Super-Fuckin’-Hero.

  • Snowbound Ron

    Love those tweets. Adam Rippon is what you’d get if Buddy Cole could skate.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    People tell Rippon to tone it down? Has everyone forgotten Johnny Weir? Rippon is freakin’ Paul Bunyan by comparison.

    • Ninja0980

      And a lot less of an asshole.

  • PlutoAnimus

    Isn’t it nice that Adam can be himself?

    Not that long ago, public reaction to him would have been quite negative.

    He does his country proud.

  • Nephilim

    You go Adam, you go. Good luck in the singles.

  • Ninja0980

    Kudos to Adam, fuck you to Weasel Jr.

  • susan_g

    Please do not, ever again, display a picture of dreamy Adam next to that ugly monkey.

  • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

    Uday just keeps putting his foot in his assmouth and shooting himself in the foot on Fifth Avenue, doesn’t he? Fucking bigot POS. He goes after Our Adam just days after he calls Our Justin an “it” in a stupid transphobic response to the nothingburger that was Personkindgate. Gee, Junior, you ever think that maybe Adam and Justin just want persons to be kind? Is that such a difficult thing for you to understand? Maybe you need to go back to kindergarten and stand in the corner for awhile — like, I dunno, 25 to life in the timeout room at Leavenworth Elementary? Shut the fuck up, Donnie Jr, you’re out of your element!

  • Renée

    I am like legit in love with this kid. He is hilarious and adorable and I love him.

    • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

      Me also too. I wish I had a fraction of the self-confidence he does, and calls for other people to have. Not to the extent of outright narcissism like Uday but more in the sense of, haters gonna hate, so fuck them and live your best life. I think it’s an allergy with me that some people are lucky enough to be able to overcome.

    • DT

      Stay. The fuck. Away. HE’S MINE!

  • JeanieBeanie

    Did I miss it? Has Donnie Sr said anything about the Olympics at all? Congrats to anyone? Has he even watched it? God forgive me I despise this whole fucking worthless family.

    • GlazedHaim

      DJT doesn’t watch the skating because the ice reminds him of what flows through Melania’s veins every time she hears Airfarce 1 pull into the driveway.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      I suspect that The Donald is strangely quiet about the Games because he is still angry that Doc Nassar didn’t invite him to join in the medical exam parties.

  • Jgb979

    Sweet, dumbshit, daddy doesn’t love you, future inmate #6382020, Jr.

    Let those who’ve actually accomplished something in their lives on merit have a moment in the spotlight for the next two weeks.

    Your nightmare family will be hogging the spotlight long after the Olympics are over

  • ImGoingBacon

    OMG, Adam’s very good looking mug. That is all.

  • Holly

    I LOVE A.R! I LOVELOVELOVE HIM. I ADORE HIM AND I WANT TO ADOPT HIM AS MY VERY OWN. CAN I JUST SAY FOR THE RECORD THAT HE IS AWESOME AND AMAZING?? MY CAPSLOCK FINGER IS TIRED NOW BUT A.R. IS TOTALLY WORTH IT! I LOVE HIM!

  • Mark Harper

    Adam is an American Hero, and a beautiful, flamboyant, fun, talented, opinionated gay one at that. Nothing makes the Trump crime syndicate more frightened, miserable and small by comparison. Next to someone like Adam, they look positively repugnant. Oh, and he loves Reece and so do I.

  • GlazedHaim

    One inspires children to persevere, the other inspires a criminal investigation. I wonder how the Russian judge will score it.

    • phoenix00

      The Russian judge will simply exchange pee samples through a hole in the wall.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Adam is the sassy gay friend that this entire country needs, and yet doesn’t deserve. I’m so glad he is a role model for so many kids.

  • Rick Hill

    It’s almost amazing how this guy can open his mouth and ALWAYS be wrong or an ass or both.

    • Toledo Window Box

      Almost amazing, until you remember who his father is.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    That was a GREAT article by Lawson.

  • Forrest Trump

    Skittles!!!

    Where you been bro? Haven’t seen nor heard from you for awhile. I imagined you were off in deepest Africa with Eric terrorizing elephants with helicopters and laser guided bazookas.

    Next time you have the misfortune to hear him speak close your eyes. He, in terms of voice timbre, sounds like a muppet.

    Ah Murica Ah Murica da dum dee dum dee da!

    Even in the most arranged of pictures he looks like an absolute halfwit. Nice gut.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/60d13afa08b6a4923f9ebb42e46a44ee99f4601c518cc57622e57e157699a626.jpg

    • Sharon Cooper

      Dude, why you gotta insult Muppets like that?

  • John McManus

    I just hope that Pense gets close enough to get a Rippon blade so far up his ass that mother will take a whole week getting it loose.

    • Rick Gardner

      She’ll take her time, week after week, as he shrieks in pain. Mother is a sadist…

  • Sharon Cooper

    Seriously, how the fuck is ERIC “the dumb one”?

  • DT

    Adam Rippon is my new obsession. I need to know where his home rink is.

  • moeman

    djtjr. can fuck off, hard. Also don’t Google ‘Donald trump jr hunter’.

  • moeman
    • Toledo Window Box

      Jr. always looks like an idiot but WOW, poor Eric. Not a good photo.

      • sillyclucker

        Eric has good photos ? I have to call fake news on that.

        • Toledo Window Box

          Good point, but this one was messed up even for him.

    • 3FingerPete

      I’ve said this before, they look like groomsmen at Draco Malfoy’s wedding.

      • Just Lark

        Crabbe and Goyle!

    • Suse

      Must.Poke.Eyes.Out.

    • andyshelt

      Compare and contrast this pair of inbred white trash morons with the grace and dignity the previous President’s children brought to the White House.

      I hope someone is taking an inventory at the White House to check that everything is still there when this bunch of crooks has finally left (hopefully in handcuffs and perp walked out!).

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/66bbfc887e0577eb96134d167562ab738ecc376f4dc97ea2bcb5530c4afda9c2.jpg

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Hannity will find some dirty subliminal image in this picture in 3, 2, 1….

    • sillyclucker

      Good God !!! Stumpy and Lurch.

    • khanurik

      And I thought I had trouble sleeping before this…

      • blaid droog

        Just take a valium. Or two.

    • SineDie

      With an extra 50 or 75 pounds on him, Eric looks more like Dad.

    • Thurman Munster IV

      That’s it. I’m suing photoshop just like they sued the tobacco companies. Using it for the purpose it was designed for, kills.

    • blaid droog

      Those are two of the ugliest motherfuckers I have ever seen. Except for dear old dad. Their collective ugly starts deep under the skin and oozes out through their flesh. Like the bufo toad their secretions are undoubtedly toxic and produce hallucinogenic nightmares that turn people into republicans.

    • sweet freedom
    • Wes

      They look like villains in a romantic comedy movie

    • doggiedaddy

      No wonder daddy went broke.
      Having to pay for all that surgery for those poor little orphans.

  • DT

    And HOLY SHIT that Vanity Fair piece!

  • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

    I must confess.. as a tree-huggin’, dirt-worshippin’ dirty punk anarchist, I have never had much interest in the figure skatings (maybe also cause I can’t skate for beans but whatevs). Adam Rippon? You have just made me actually interested (a little – its still a sportsting, don’t get carried away). And had me one-hundred-eleventy percent at glamazon bitch. America’s Sweetheart in*deed*!

    • Mehmeisterjr

      I see how you feel but I still refuse to watch the Olympics at all.

      More corrupt than FIFA.

      • sarafina

        So what do you care what an Olympic athlete says about anything? MYOFB.

      • blaid droog

        Fuck the olympics. Not the participants. Just the corporate shithole that has a fucking copyright on a goddamned word. A corporate entity that will sue anyone using the word Olympic in a business name. It’s obscene that countries spend billions building stadiums and various venues to attract what is ultimately a losing proposition for the host country at the expense of the poorest citizens. People are displaced and their homes destroyed just to suck in some fucking tourist dollars or marks or yen.I don’t watch this shit, I don’t give a flying fuck about any aspect of it. The fucking medals aren’t even made of real gold.

      • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

        Oh I didn’t say I’d *watch*. That would require television I imagine – for starters.

    • phoenix00

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3vN12KeGt8?t=5m34s

      He’s a pretty damn decent skater! And imagine trying to do all this on ice on a pair of knives screwed to your boots without dying from vertigo! While you’re at it, here are the GOATs of ice-dance:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4oVgG54eN4?t=10m34s

  • Mehmeisterjr

    This may be an unpopular opinion, but I think it is a matter of respect for the office.

    It seems to me that even if you don’t respect the creepy “Christian” zealot who trashed his state’s economy turned Russian kompromat agent who, despite losing (with his running mate) the popular vote, was elevated to the Vice-Presidency by gerrymandering, Russian hacking and the Electoral College, you should at least respect the office of the the creepy “Christian” zealot who trashed his state’s economy turned Russian kompromat agent who, despite losing (with his running mate) the popular vote, was elevated to the Vice-Presidency by gerrymandering, Russian hacking and the Electoral College,

    If a lowly figure skater can’t accept this, then perhaps he should be replaced by a semi-literate, snotty, big-shot traitor’s brat in the winner’s circle.

    • Beelzebubba

      Respect for the office is WHY I slag on assholes like Trump and Pence.

    • phoenix00

      Except respect is a two-way street. Those assholes clearly don’t respect their office, the rest of us aren’t compelled to respect the office-holders.

      Pence burned his bridge well before he flew to SK. Adam Rippon knew that.

    • Just Lark

      What part of “Show me the birth certificate” is respectful of the office of President? What part of “Lock her up” is respectful of the office of Secretary of State? What part of “Pocahontas” is respectful of the office of Senator?

      No. These people have done everything to earn our contempt and nothing to earn our respect.

  • SDGeoff3

    Adam would mop the floor with Lil’ Junior biscuit.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      An actual mop would mop the floor with Lil’ Junior biscuit.

      “Ow, hit my eye! Surrender!”

  • msanthrope

    I’m a straight cis lady of a certain age much greater than 30 and this dude makes me weepy.

  • sillyclucker

    Junior Sewer Rat is so greedy, he has multiple chins.

  • Wolverines!

    You’d think by now that I’m Eric and I’m Not Eric would just STFU. Every time they stick their weasly noses into anything, they get smacked. Quit trying to be your daddy and stay off the Twitter.

  • persistently_resistant_gayby

    That article by Richard Lawson teared me up anyway, and I’m below 30 – is that bad..?

  • arundel

    Oh, the contrast. Dumb lazy spoiled bigmouthed do-nothing failure, who has never accomplished anything in his life, decides to attack a US bronze medalist representing our country in the Olympics. Someone excelling and wowing and conducting himself with dignity and grace, someone who has worked hard his whole life for this moment, bringing honor to the United States.

    While this oily little fcker got so excited about some treason and election tampering with Russia. Can’t get enough of Russia harming our country. What a disgraceful pig, I hope he rots in prison.

    • gingerwentworth1

      Donn’t forget that one bill he sponsored during his ten-year senate career, young man. It was either to change the name of a post office, or to keep the old name of a post office. That is truly what I heard. He also deserves to be cherished for his head, shaped just like a bean.

  • arundel

    we will leave you with this tweet, which links to the most incredibly beautiful piece written by Richard Lawson at Vanity Fair, about what Adam Rippon represents to young gay kids everywhere

    “LolCait’s a dude?”

    (Not sure how many Olds will get that reference.. Lawson’s great.)
    http://gawker.com/290612/lolcaits-presidential-suite

  • hvdv

    My fourth ever Twatter block was by Pence, earlier this week. Because I asked him when he was going to stop stalking Rippon, informed him that no means no, and yeah, I also called him a terrible guest. He is! Anyhoo. Even though figure skating makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit (I’m Dutch! Skating is transportation, not fancy dancing! Ask K. Couric!), I’ll stand between Pence and Rippon any day of the week.

  • What is with the right’s thing about failing?
    Through failing, humans learn the most. This is a thing that is true! There are tons of stories of human achievements that would not be possible if they had not failed at something else before!
    We make blockbuster movies out of it for cryin out loud so they got no excuse.

    • One of sensei’s favorite sayings is, you either win or you learn, don’t talk about losing.

    • JCfromNC

      Srsly. About the only way you could not fail at some point would be to never do anything that hadn’t been done before. And how you get progress if you did that?

    • phoenix00

      It’s all ego & superiority complex: failing is for losers, winners don’t fail. I’m a winner, ergo I don’t fail.

    • gingerwentworth1

      But still, it’s important to point it out when big institutions like the New York Times are failing, right under our noses! Because of all the fake news it publishes! Obamacare– so pitiful, how it ruined so many lives– why don’t they publicize that once in a while? And speaking of which– President Obama himself! He made this country a laughingstock, didn’t he? He was “the worse we ever had!” But thank God that’s over. Pointing out these failures is a great service Pres. Trump is providing for his people.

      • gingerwentworth1

        I forgot– that loser so called war hero John McCain! Ha ha Loser.

  • xintheline

    I love me some Adam Rippon!! He’s my American Sweetheart!! Fuck Mike Pence.

  • Karen

    Goℴgle is giving every one $97 per/hr to complete few services from a laptop .. Work Some just few time & stay more time together with your own loved ones . Any one can also apply this special offer!!last Saturday I got a gorgeous McLaren F1 just after making $10,000 this past six weeks .no doubt it is the coolest job however you could not forgive yourself if you don’t read this.!nx922s:➛➛➛ http://GoogleConsultingMakeMoneyOnlineJobs/get/cash/99$/per/hr ♥♥s♥♥k♥y♥♥♥a♥f♥f♥♥♥f♥♥n♥f♥♥a♥♥♥n♥♥h♥♥t♥♥t♥r♥♥m♥p♥d♥♥♥y♥i♥♥m♥v♥s♥♥♥j♥u:::!qw082c:cuqnws

  • Adam Rippon’s advice to just be yourself is good, but it is hard for hetero men because if you are perceived as being gay where I came up, you could be beaten or worse. When I was the only straight man working in HIV and AIDS in the late ’80’s it was very liberating because no one gave a shit whether I was acting gay or not. I could be myself. When I was in the Coast Guard, not so much. That’s a sad commentary on being a hetero man.

  • Me The People

    “Donald Trump’s greatest sperm mistake”

    LOL

  • John McLaughlin

    If the Trump family is found to have profited from laundering dirty Russian oligarch funds then I hope long prison sentences are required.

    • Karen Marie

      They’ll go to the same prison that the Bush administration went to, unfortunately. (Meaning we’ll be told we can’t criminalize politics. Insane, I know but there you go.)

  • Miss Diketon

    Adam is the America’s Sweetheart this country desperately needs.

  • JustPretendImNotHere

    When Jr and the other one appear in public together, who gets the wear the “I’m with Stupid” t-shirt?

  • Karen Marie

    What is this liquid forming in my eyes? Have you kids left the ammonia out again?

  • Zyxomma

    Thank you, Evan. Thank you, Adam.

  • Beth

    Well this middle aged hetero woman got weepy over the Vanity Fair story too. Beautifully written and a nice counterpart to my gut busting laughter over pence yearning for Adam.

  • Newzheimer

    DJT Jr needs to buy a chin. I’m certain they sell them at Trump Tower someplace.

    He’s a weasel who looks the part.

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