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Sarah Huckabee Sanders was running hot yesterday! Insulting a domestic violence victim, smack talking April Ryan, just plain making shit up — check, check and CHECK! On the plus side she wasn’t wearing a tablecloth. So, YO GO, GIRL!

Feel free to watch the whole video, if you have major masochistic tendencies. Extra credit if you wade through this White House press release titled Did You Know? How $200B can be leveraged to $1.5T. WE DARE YOU!

Special Guest Liar: Elaine Chao!

It is Infrastructure Week again, so Transportation Secretary Elaine Chao got the ball rolling with some absolute nonsense on Trump’s magical plan to repair the nation’s roads and bridges by cutting billions in infrastructure grants for local projects already underway. How’s that going to work?

You know, federal money is not free. Federal money comes from our communities, people, taxpayers, and our communities. They take that money, send it to Washington, and then we decide how to use it, and send it back to the communities with a lot of strings attached on what they need to do.

So what we are trying to do is to recognize the states and localities, communities understand best what their infrastructure needs are, and to allow them to have much greater flexibility to decide their own projects, in conjunction and in partnership with the federal government.

So, your plan is to sell it all off to big business, right? A trip to Kroger will involve five different toll roads, but we can’t raise gas taxes because that would hurt poor people. GOT IT.

It was the FBI! Errr….HR!

Then it was on to the Huckster, who spent the past week polishing a story line that it was all the FBI’s stupid fault for not finishing their security evaluation of ladybeater Rob Porter on time. Probably too busy doing Deep State tapps to the president’s wires!

But then that tightass Christopher Wray cut her off at the knees in his testimony before Congress. Apparently, the FBI sent three separate Memos saying Never Not Ever Does This Guy Porter Get A Clearance to the White House Personnel Office. Lucky Sarah Sanders is fast on her feet! See, the White House Personnel Office isn’t part of the White House, so how could anyone at the White House know Porter wasn’t getting a clearance!

The White House Personnel Security Office, who is the one that makes a recommendation for adjudication, had not finished their process and therefore not made a recommendation to the White House.

REALLY? That’s really what you’re going with here? Because it has “White House” right in the name.

Again, that would come through the White House Personnel Security Office, which had not completed their investigation and not passed that information to the White House.

Uhhh, okay.

Okay, softball question. You can do it, Sarah! Should men beat their wives?

You guys are totally not down with domestic violence, right? It’s not like there are very fine people on both sides, are there?

REPORTER: And does the President believe the women?

MS. SANDERS: Again, the President takes all of these accusations very seriously. He believes in due process. Above everything else, he supports the victims of any type of violence, and certainly would condemn any violence against anyone.

Huh. Well, is there anything you all would change if you had to do this whole staffer-who-hits-women-and-can’t-pass-background-check thing again?

Look, as I said yesterday, I think every day we come here, we do the very best that we can, and every day we can do better than the day before. And we’re going to continue to strive for that. We’re humans, making us imperfect people. And so, every day, I think we can learn from the day before, and we can strive to do better. And that’s our goal, certainly within our team, and we’re going to continue to try to do everything we can to help serve the American people to the best of our ability.

Yeah, we’ve all seen the bumper stickers. Christians aren’t perfect, just forgiven. But you’d still let Hope Hicks write that nonsense about Porter being a swell guy, even though they’re bumping uglies?

She was not part of a lot of the conversations that took place. I don’t recall any of you being in the room to be able to say specifically what comments she made or didn’t make. She’s the White House Communications Director, and is an important and valuable member of the staff, and she has done a great job in that role.

Oh, the WERE YOU THERE argument. Did you learn that one in Bible college when they were teaching you how to argue with an evolutionist?

If you think about it, Sarah’s the real victim here!

Say, you wanna attack a domestic violence victim while you’re up there? We hear Rob Porter’s wife says she “expected a woman to do better” in a position of power, like you and Kellyanne Conway.

I would never presume to understand anything going on with that individual, nor would I think that she could presume what’s going on with me or the way that I’m responding.

Mmmm hmmm. We’re sure this whole thing is very hard on you.

When all else fails …

Would it cheer you up to pick a fight with a black lady? Because April Ryan has a question about funding for the Violence Against Women Act.

MS. RYAN: You’re saying the President is going to fully fund the reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act that’s up in March. How much — what is he putting in his budget proposal?

MS. SANDERS: I’d have to look at the specific number, but it was rolled out in the budget that was presented yesterday.

MS. RYAN: You mentioned it, but is the number, the number that it’s always been, or was it just done? Can you talk to us about the funding?

MS. SANDERS: I know it what was requested has been put into the President’s budget.

You’re not going to pull a fast one on us by, like, taking the money out of SNAP benefits or something, are you? Think fast, think fast! Time for that special white lady passive aggressive condescension!

MS. SANDERS: We don’t write a budget, like, in 20 minutes, so it’s been part of something that’s been ongoing.

MS. RYAN: I understand that. I understand that. I understand that. But there’s some things in that budget Mr. Mulvaney did not tell us about yesterday.

MS. SANDERS: That means you probably didn’t ask those questions. I’m going to keep going. John, go ahead.

MS. RYAN: He didn’t give us an answer. He purposely didn’t give us that information.

Well, we’re not sure what budget fuckery you pulled to fund VAWA. But we know your day is a little brighter since you got to be an asshole to April Ryan. Well done, Sarah!

Can’t hardly wait to see what shit our girl has planned for this afternoon’s presser!

Follow your FDF on Twitter!

Please click here to fund us! We had to watch that woman, and now we need a juice cleanse!

[White House Press Briefing, Transcript]

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  • Nounverb911
    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      The emperor’s new bridge

  • When you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember the lies of others…

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Not enough Jokers in that House of Cards compared with the real one.

      • PubOption

        You might think that, Ghengis, but I couldn’t possibly say.

      • calliecallie

        The names on the cards we can’t see are (I hope) McConnell, Ryan, Nunes, Rohrbacher, Ivanka, DeVos, Zinke, Gorsuch.

        Needs moar cards for Pruitt, Mulvaney and Mnuchin!

  • Nounverb911
    • Villago Delenda Est

      Works for both Sarahs, John Kelly, and Donald as well.

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    Feel free to watch the whole video, if you have major masochistic tendencies.

    Oh fuck no!

    And I do have major masochistic tendencies. However, I do have standards.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Five words: Democratic People’s Republic of Korea

      • LesBontemps

        Democrats!

        • Alease

          Goℴgle is giving every one $97 per/hr to complete few services from a laptop .. Work Some just few time & stay more time together with your own loved ones . Any one can also apply this special offer!!last Saturday I got a gorgeous McLaren F1 just after making $10,000 this past six weeks .no doubt it is the coolest job however you could not forgive yourself if you don’t read this.!je413j:➨➨➨ http://GoogleManagementHomeBasedBusiness/get/97$/hr ♥♥v♥♥♥f♥♥k♥♥♥g♥♥j♥x♥♥k♥♥t♥f♥♥a♥♥a♥♥e♥♥n♥♥k♥i♥u♥y♥♥♥f♥f♥♥p♥r♥♥♥r♥♥t♥♥w♥♥g:::::!kw58k:vw

  • goonemeritus

    We should look into leveraging our military budget, instead of the Fed having to cough up 700 billion why not go for an 20 80 split. The Fed could look into private donations, hold raffles, sell naming rights.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      101st Airborne Division (Screaming Eagles McDonald’s Happy Meal)

    • ManchuCandidate

      This major war brought to you by General Electric.

    • Nockular cavity

      I’m sure the Russians will kick in some.

    • C.W. St. John Nobbs

      I like your thinking. Just imagine:
      The 82nd Airborne brought to you by Delta
      The 3rd Armored brought to you by ConAgra

    • Jim Johnson

      Good idea. I would cut the military spending in half (for starters). They can raise funds with bake sales, donations, and naming rights. I really don’t care if they name their missiles “The Koch Brothers” or they call it “The Mercer Battalion”. It would satisfy the fascist bullying tendencies of the extreme conservatives.

  • goonemeritus

    Well at least we now know fried squirrel isn’t brain food.

  • spangled

    god i want april ryan to be the one to get the impeachment-worthy story on trump.

    they really go out of their way to treat her like shit

    • ((( Augustus )))

      yeah, it’s weird, I can’t figure out the reason why they single her out for especially bad treatment

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    They won’t do it by charging literal tolls. They’ll do it Chicago grift style, by adding fees to your electric bill or by creating “tax districts” and tacking it onto your property taxes (passing it through if you rent) or auto license, or sales taxes.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Yep. I paid for the SuperBowl even though I never bought a ticket or watched the game.

    • grindstone

      If we can’t get the poors out by raising the cost of housing, we’ll raise the property taxes until they bail out. Then we build low-income “housing”, or alternatively “luxury” housing where we can launder money.

  • Indiepalin

    Sarah: “Daddy’s lawyer once paid two hundred bucks in bail to get my little brother out of jail for alleged animal cruelty. What’s the difference?”

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    What Sarah has planned for today’s press briefing.

    →Look over there↓
    ↑Look over there←

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Extra credit if you wade through this White House press release titled Did You Know? How $200B can be leveraged to $1.5T. WE DARE YOU!

    You can tell this was written by someone who has no understanding of how public works operate.

    • DrBigHead

      So are you saying there is a downside to having business people running the government? Who’d a thunk it?

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Oh I have no problem with business people. Some of the best public project wonks are business folks, it’s just them trust fund corporate boys who have no interest in the public good…that are in charge.

      • BMW

        They’re not even *good* business people!

        • Ghenghis McCann

          If they were, they’d be running a profitable business.

    • ((( Augustus )))

      I’m so fucking tired of the word “leverage”

      • Antonin Dvorak
        • Rebel Scum Puipui

          God, how I wish they were real sometimes.

      • PubOption

        To get more force, you have to be on the short end of the stick.

      • BMW

        I see your “leverage” tired-ness amd raise you a “branding.”

      • C.W. St. John Nobbs

        Leverage your vocabulary using the new paradigm allows you to upscale your verbage while mitigating any risk caused by inadvertent understanding

        I win buzzword bingo!!!!

        • Paul Dietzel

          Don’t forget to think outside the box !!

      • Crystalclear12

        It is one of their magic words like bootstrap.

    • spangled

      this sounds like one of those shitty spam ads:
      “Big Business Hates Her! How a stay at home mom turned 200 billion into 1.5 trillion!”

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Has she seen Lori?

  • beatbort

    I used to think, “Why are these members of a free press even participating with this charade of a press conference every day?” But now I am beginning to appreciate that they do show up, for the main reason that they make Poot Lips so uncomfortable that she has to really work harder to lie and lie and lie. She is sweating like a hog underneath that dress. Go free press.

    • ImGoingBacon

      The other bonus is this: You get to see who are the serious journalists. The ones who see this administration as a challenge, and are willing to meet it, head on.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Your Wonkette: Now with all the Sarah. All the time!

  • ManchuCandidate
  • beatbort

    I’m surprised that she didn’t say, “There are some good people on both sides of this wife-beating debate.”

    • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

      But they don’t really believe that there are good people on both sides: they believe the wives are just plain bad people, harpies willing to destroy the careers of fine and manly men just for doing what manly men do. If we could only go back to when John Wayne ruled white America, all these bitchy whiny woman problems (and the black people and gay people problems, too) would melt away like snow on a summer sidewalk.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    That sound you can barely hear? Me playing the world’s tiniest violin.

  • TJ Barke

    Why didn’t she just say “bitches be lyin'”? I mean that is the President’s* official position.

  • Uncle Zor

    Well Elaine Chao does have a point. Federal revenue does have to come from somewhere, and it sure as hell isn’t going to be coming from our most wealthy motherfuckers or big businesses anymore.

    • Jim Johnson

      Yeah, of course the ones who profit the most from our infrastructure should have their taxes cut the most. Stupid libruls just don’t understand what businesses deserve.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      States are instituting their own gas taxes since the federal government won’t. The only people against these taxes are the rich. Regular people don’t have a problem with it because they know this shit has to be paid for.

  • Jim Johnson

    When you build your case on false assumptions you are not going to come to valid, truthful conclusions. I just don’t buy her claim: “We’re humans
    These creeps, that haunt the White House are not fully human. There is a tragic, historically low level of humanity in there. They are racists and oligarchs; consumed by selfishness, greed, and hatred, but not really very human at all.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Important to remember that the FBI doesn’t decide who gets a security clearance. What they do is say “Jay Porter is a lying, wife-beating piece of shit who should be in prison instead of handling the most sensitive documents in the country while being vulnerable to blackmail”. So, of course, there are some gray areas there….

    • TundraGrifter

      Zero Shades of Gray.

      • Nockular cavity

        Still a shittier love story than even Twilight.

  • chazmanr

    Somehow, beyond my own comprehension, I actually dislike Poot Lips even more than the shitgibbon.

    • janecita

      It’s alright, I hate Kushner more than I hate Trump.

      • cmd resistor

        I just transfer my hatred from one to another, often depending on who is talking.

    • Crystalclear12

      I try not to play favorites but I save a special place of hatred for the ones that gave of us hope of mitigation: Ivanka, Kelly

  • Nockular cavity

    Isn’t it time for Presnit Good Brain to do a press conference? I mean, that was one of the many crimes of that horrible Clinton woman, wasn’t it, that she didn’t do press conferences?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      President Hillary never did press conferences…mostly because she was never President Hillary.

      • C.W. St. John Nobbs

        Not according to good ol’ Lumpy. That shrill devilbitch should be inpeached!!!1!!!!

    • Stulexington

      Kinda makes me wish I lived in Texas, just for today.

    • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

      That’s why I hang my hat in – well, damn near any state that isn’t Texas.

  • tanner

    Not enough Jokers in that House of Cards compared with the real one.

  • BMW

    “Fuckabees.”
    -Naomi Watts.

    • janecita

      VD, like HPV?

  • Daniel Hooper

    Any other Valentine’s Day, this would seem a weird thing to put on sale as a Valentine’s Day promotion. Under this administration, though… well, the opening image says it all.

    http://www.asmodee-digital.com/en/twilight-struggle/

    • NastyBossetti

      I played the board game version of this once. It bored me so much I almost cried.

  • Crystalclear12

    Remember when the White House press conferences were boring?
    Miss that.

    • cmd resistor

      Just curious, because I never really watched Obama ones. Did the dem press secretaries act like assholes? I imagine the wingnuts hated them, but figured it was just because.

      • Crystalclear12

        They acted like boring bureaucrats giving out boring information in a timely manner.

        • cmd resistor

          That’s kind of what I thought. Then people would write up what they said and we’d read it, as I recall.

          • Snowbound Ron

            Hey, remember how we didn’t have to automatically fact-check them? It seems like a dream now.

          • TakingAmes

            I don’t have to automatically fact check this administration. I always assume they’re lying. Makes things simpler.

      • “M”

        Josh Earnest (ha) was the Press Secretary – but I remember President Obama’s last one because he got up there and talked himself. It was like taking a lecture from a very experienced Constitutional scholar. I enjoyed it, because I am a total nerd and also I wanted some reassurance that the entire country wasn’t going to immediately fall to pieces in the wake of the Orange (because I’m a New Yorker and know how he rolls, though this is the worst ever and I have never seen the like).

        • cmd resistor

          I liked listening to Obama, too, but I also am a nerd, and I worried that most people wouldn’t want to pay attention for long complete sentences and stuff. I remember my wingnut brother making snide remarks about Josh Ernest, but that’s par for the course. I tuned out for much of the Bush years. Too depressing.

    • “Unpresidented” Linda

      Remember when they didn’t lie so much?

  • OrG

    I’m getting tired of poot lips’ bullshit.

    • La forza del resistino

      Put her on mute and try to track her eyes. Then see a chiropractor to get your neck straight again.

  • Tennessee Rain Genius

    As a matter of fact, NO, she does not seem nice.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      All of us who aren’t expected have sex with Mike Pence?

      • LesBontemps

        You’re getting fucked anyway.

    • Very Stable Bozi

      I was right, Mike Pence is a motherfucker.

      • The Wanderer

        By strict definition, so am I (I once dated a woman who had six kids by her previous marriage).

  • La forza del resistino

    CO I-70 travelers are gonna be in for a teeth rattling surprise crossing the KS border. Yay local funding (or lack of).

    • Snowbound Ron

      You can already experience that driving from Ohio into Michigan.

  • Jgb979

    If the president condemns violence against women; perhaps he could demonstrate as much with his “words or actions”. I’m pretty sure he’s right down the hall lying in bed watching television.

    There is absolutely no moral outrage that won’t immediately become a story about how unfair the media is being to republicans.

    • cmd resistor

      Well, it’s almost time for the 11 am Intelligence Briefing…..

      • Jamoche

        Read that as “Intelligence Barfing”

  • The Wanderer

    So Secretary Chao’s saying that instead of the Federal government taking money from the states, then giving it back with a list of what to do with it, she would rather the money stay at the state level, with to strings?

    And I suppose if the GOP legislators in some random state decide to give themselves a raise from that money, it’s okay with her?

    • NellCote71

      Or pay off a donor with no bid loans?

    • Jamoche

      So how’s that supposed to play with taking away the deductions for state tax, which makes it seem like you don’t want states to have their own money?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      She’s saying states SHOULD keep that money to make no strings attached decisions on infrastructure, but I haven’t actually heard one single person on the Trump administration actually offer that money back to the states

  • tehbaddr

    I likes me some Nasty Ladies, but they gotta be the right kinda Nasty !!!

    • The Wanderer

      Durn tootin.’

  • fawkedifiknow

    We all try to cope with SHS in our own ways. What works for me is to turn off the sound when she is on my tee vee screen.

    • Snowbound Ron

      Mine is to watch something more adult-oriented. Like Spongebob Squarepants.

  • Gosala

    It’s become the textbook method to erase the particulars of any issue hasn’t it:

    “Black lives matter” becomes “all lives matter.”
    “Dreamers” gets coöpted into “we all should be dreamers. ”
    “Violence against women” is turned into “violence against anyone.”

    • gnomemansanisland

      Corporations are people too, my friend.

      • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

        Except you can’t punch them in the face.

        • Trip Space-Parasite

          What if we try really hard?

          • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

            You’ll just hurt your hand on the brick-like skin.

  • I totally have that tablecloth. It’s something like $8.99 on sale at Bed, Bath, and you can clean it with a sponge.

    • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

      Coincidentally, that’s how they clean Sarah also.

      • I’d think they’d use a hose… sponging means you’d have to get close to her.

        • NellCote71

          She’s not the only one who’s getting hosed.

  • dxyseilc

    I definitely do not heart Huckabees.

    (Apologies to the thousands of people who I’m sure have made this joke before me)

  • “Unpresidented” Linda

    MS. SANDERS: We don’t write a budget, like, in 20 minutes, so it’s been part of something that’s been ongoing.

    Yeah? That’s about how long it took to write Tax Reform and the repeal of the ACA. I thought that was about the limit of your boss’s attention span?

  • geoffalnutt

    There’s nothing worse than a beached and floundering Huckabeast. Ew.

  • The Very Stable Librarian

    Valentines Day is extra special when you get to fuck (over) as many people as possible!

  • eyelashviper

    In contrast, she looks almost human here:

    https://cdn.newsbusters.org/images/2011/March/Huck%20Fam.jpg

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Well, that disproves the theory that stripes are slimming.

      • ibwilliamsi

        Which one beat the dog to death for fun? I notice Ma & Pa Huckabee have a pretty good grasp on that obviously panicked pup.

        • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

          I’m going with the ginger on the far left. He’s got a wicked gleam in his eye.

    • James Baskin

      “I had a girl that slobbered bad,
      Down in the Arkansas,
      Took her to see my ole Grandad,
      Down in the Arkansas,
      Asked him what to do about it,
      Down in the Arkansas,
      He said teach that girl to spit,
      Down in the Arkansas.”

    • Mavenmaven

      which one is she?

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        Well, we know the dog is dead. So, she’s not that one.

      • phoenix00

        Yeah I can’t tell either.

    • Shawn Charniga

      I cannot believe that no one has focused on the HOUSE. Look at the columns! It’s ARKANSAS.

  • Upright Ape

    So the Violence Against Women Act has become a “How To” manual. Deny. Call her a lier. Then bathe in the forgiveness of Jesus. Repeat.

  • LesBontemps

    I don’t get it. The script is garbage and the acting is terrible. Who is dumb enough to pay to see this movie?

    • Snowbound Ron

      They’re never gonna make back their investment.

  • MamaBrown

    Jesus, can we expunge the “I’m human. I make mistakes” from the lexicon FOREVER. I am sicker than shit of hearing self righteous drones vomit that trite drivel up ever time they’re called out.

    Sounds like Sarah needs a safe space.

  • Snowbound Ron

    For someone who’s being paid to be a liar, she’s really slacking off on the job. Where’s the freewheeling, enthusiastic prevaricator of yesterday?

  • Bemused

    Generally speaking, if something official comes through my office in red text, caps, and with a bunch of ! points, that’s usually the thing I check out first. You’d think that the White House Personnel Security Office could manage to triage that.

    Also, too, I seem to recall something during the campaign about an offer to pay the legal bills of anyone who wanted to hit the right people? So I would say that Trump doesn’t have a problem with all violence against people.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    I still can’t believe she said she doesn’t speak for the President.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Exactly- then WTF are you doing here, wasting everyone’s time?

    • NotDarkYet

      Well, yesterday, she explicitly stated she WAS speaking for the President. Maybe President of Trumpfuckistan?

    • Jimh

      Define “spokesperson” for us.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Tomorrow she’ll say, “That’s up to you to decide.”

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    With the Taint in office, I am becoming a connoisseur of outrage. There’s the incandescent, throbbing forehead vein, outrage at the maladministration’s fucking over some powerless group, there’s the deeply held and passionate outrage at the maladministration’s complete disregard for the norms of democratic society, there’s the quiet, almost desperate, outrage that happens when the maladministration blindsides the county with some utter fuckery of a sort never seen before. It is quite stunning.

    • dshwa

      Are you sure that throbbing forehead vein isn’t just a sperm?

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Probably not, but maybe? It’s hard to say because in Trump America the government fucks you.

  • Mavenmaven

    we didn’t write in twenty minutes, but we reviewed and approved it in less than five.

  • Bright Bart

    MS. SANDERS: Again, the President takes all of these accusations very seriously. He believes in due process. Above everything else, he supports the victims of any type of violence, and certainly would condemn any violence against anyone.
    Read more at https://wonkette.com/629739/sarah-huckabee-sanders-is-the-real-victim-here#92rSXoFoZ7z9LMg2.99

    well…except when he supports it
    https://mashable.com/2016/03/12/trump-rally-incite-violence/

  • Wookie Monster

    I really wish a reporter had asked Elaine Chao if she’s ever seen her husband’s chin.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      or dick — shudder —

  • TootsStansbury

    We need to get these bushleage fuck ups out of here. At this point I don’t care how we do it.

    • FeloniousMonk

      Non-voters won the electoral college, fair-and-square. They deserve AT LEAST a full term.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Federal money comes from our communities, people, taxpayers, and our communities.

    And it funds the Department of Redundancy Department.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      I once had a shirt from Don’t Panic that said that in FBI-official looking letters. Lol

  • Walther von der Vogelweide

    You know, federal money is not free. Federal money comes from our communities, people, taxpayers, and our communities. They take that money, send it to Washington, and then we decide how to use it, and send it back to the communities with a lot of strings attached on what they need to do.

    So what we are trying to do is to recognize the states and localities, communities understand best what their infrastructure needs are, and to allow them to have much greater flexibility to decide their own projects, in conjunction and in partnership with the federal government.

    So what I’m hearing is that all the money was refunded to state/local governments in the form of tax cuts to the rich, so the way to fund these programs would ideally be through massive state/local tax hikes (the kind that are also, coincidentally, limited as a federal deduction under tax “reform”) on the rich.

    That’s great, except in extremely poor, red states like mine where that still won’t accomplish much.

  • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

    ”We don’t write a budget in, like, 20 minutes so it’s part of something that’s been ongoing.”

    Bet a Grand Jury can hand down and indictment in, like, less than five minutes if it’s been part of an investigation that’s been ongoing. You stupid, lying cunt.

  • she should go back to wearing draperies as they seem to add about half an IQ point.

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    This “White House” guy really needs to be fired.

    Is he related to Greg House, MD?

  • Zyxomma

    Thanks, $5F.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    I think you’re being a little hard on Sarah. If you look at the job description for White House Press Secretary, nowhere will you find anything that says she’s required to answer reporters’ questions.

  • guppy06

    Again, that would come through the White House Personnel Security
    Office, which had not completed their investigation and not passed that
    information to the White House.

    Was Devin Nunes not available to deliver inter-office mail this time?

    • Enter Ranting

      Couldn’t someone have found a coffee boy to run some paperwork down the hall?

  • Kastle

    I’d like to see the Press who’ve been diverted start saying things like “Yes, I’d like you to answer to previous question before we get to mine”
    Can they not stop letting themselves be manipulated?

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    You know after a day working for the malignant one and every day each day, she goes home and binge eats Twinkies.

    • And tequila. Alcohol is definitely called for.

  • Jack Has a Memo!!!!

    No, Sarah’s not the real victim here. Everybody knows the real victim in all cases is Donnie.

  • susan_g

    Sarah needs to consult with Ri Chun-hee (North Korea’s “pink lady”) for tips on how to act and dress for the job of an autocrat’s stooge mouthpiece.

    • phoenix00

      Step 1: order North Korean tablecloths.

  • Poly_Ester

    Well, Sarah maybe your best just isn’t good enough. You’re in DC now, not Little Rock.

    • chronozoan

      In the immortal words of Ray Charles “Tell Yer Ma Tell Yer Pa Gonna Send You Back To Arkansas”.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    She must be really mad at the press for making her tell all these lies.

    • phoenix00

      Just like her boss!

  • chronozoan

    If this is the best she can do…well that’s just really sad. She isn’t even any better at lying to the American people than when she first started.

  • Rickyphoo

    “Were you there?”

    That’s some condescending shit there, Pootylips.

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