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Andrew Jackson can take a flying fuck at a rolling donut. Andrew Jackson can take a flying fuck at the Mooooooooooooon!

Jackson Elementary School is Salt Lake City’s oldest elementary school; it was founded in 1883, although the photos we’ve seen online look considerably newer. Since roughly 85 percent of the K-6 school’s population are students of color, the school board has been considering a name change for some time, from “Andrew Jackson Elementary” to something else, because there’s the whole slavery thing and the genocidal Trail of Tears against the Cherokee tribe. The idea of honoring that man just rubbed a lot of students and their parents the wrong way, as the Salt Lake Tribune points out:

Kiana Phillips was working on an “All About Me” assignment last year at Jackson Elementary in Salt Lake City when she learned that her aunt had traced their family back to slaves from north Africa.

Suddenly the sign above her school door felt personal.

Andrew Jackson owned nine people when he bought his Nashville plantation, the Hermitage; within 25 years, his slaves numbered more than 100.

“It kind of surprised me when I learned that he was a really bad person,” Phillips said. “I didn’t know they would name a school after someone like that.”

As you continue to study history, Kiana, you’ll learn that lots of people in the past were idiots who were willing to overlook a little genocide if someone was a military hero. People are still idiots today, but lots of smart adults — and smart 6th-graders — are working to change that.

Last week, the Salt Lake City school board voted to rename Jackson Elementary after Mary Jackson, the first black woman to work at NASA as an engineer. She actually began working as a “computer” — the mathematical kind — at Langley Memorial Aeronautical Laboratory in Virginia, working out the math around supersonic flight in wind tunnel simulations, even before there was such a thing as NASA. Her story was dramatized in the movie Hidden Figures, which we’ll assume most kids at Mary Jackson Elementary have seen by now. (We couldn’t tell whether the school in recent years has included the “Andrew” in its correspondence — looks like it didn’t — but “Mary Jackson Elementary School” is now proudly listed on the school’s website (Home of the Cougars).

The name change was, to say the least, popular:

Tiffany Sandberg, who represents Jackson Elementary’s district on the school board, choked back tears as she read a motion to rename Salt Lake City’s oldest elementary school Mary Jackson Elementary School.

It passed unanimously, to a standing ovation from parents, diversity advocates and other community members gathered at the meeting.

“We just thought it would be good to have a school that honored somebody I could tell my children to look up to,” said Neal Patwari, chair of the school’s community council.

During the year-long process of seeking public opinion, written comments on the proposal ran 73 percent in favor of a name change. And it doesn’t appear that any sad losers waving (completely anachronistic) Confederate flags showed up to complain that the school board was exactly like ISIS. A fifth-grader who led a student committee on the issue, Andrei Olivo, explained the problem with Andrew Jackson to the Salt Lake Tribune with the frankness you’d expect from a fifth-grader:

“Say a Jewish kid went to a school called Adolf [Hitler],” Olivo said. “Your culture feels disrespected.”

Those brackets make us wonder — did Andrei say “Adolf [wrong last name]” or just “a school called Adolf,” which is actually kind of charming?

Incidentally, just in case anyone out there is weeping bitter tears at a modern school board’s thoughtless, politically correct to erase a proud heritage of honoring the great achievements of Andrew Jackson, it turns out the original name was chosen almost arbitrarily:

The committee reviewed meeting minutes from the 1800s that showed the district simply wanted to use a president’s name, and a school board member suggested Andrew Jackson because his own name also was Jackson.

Somewhere in Utah the spirit of Elam Fillmore is feeling vindicated at last.

The school is now looking forward to a formal renaming ceremony later this year, and has reached out to Mary Jackson’s family to invite them to participate; the school board also called for a permanent display in her honor to be placed in the school.

We would link to the people whining at Breitbart about how this is a shocking display of Cultural Marxism, but this is a Nice Time post, so if they want to go name something after Andrew Jackson, they can do that a few hours after their next heavy meal.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Please click here to keep our computers running. The mice get tired now and then.

[Salt Lake Tribune / KUTV / “Mary Jackson” at NASA / Image via NASA]

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  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    I wonder if anybody feels like screaming “heritage not hate” for this particular asshole

  • Indiepalin

    This is the school that used to be called Chief Wahoo elementary School.

    • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

      I thought it was Chief Altavista.

      • weejee

        CompuServe libel.

        • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

          Geocities for the motherfuckin’ win!

          • leemoder

            TRS-80 or GTFO

          • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

            No love for Tripod?

        • grindstone

          Go fighting Nandonet.

  • memzilla Ω

    This is great! They won’t even have to change the monogram on the guest towels!

  • MynameisBlarney

    Fuckin awesome!

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Nice. Made me smile for a change.

  • CaliCheeseSucks

    So will Lumpy lead this with tonight – “LIBRULS STEALING OUR HISTORY!!” – or his secret sperm scoop?

  • msanthropesmr

    This is a good start. Now let’s get rid of all of the RE Lee high schools out there.

    • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

      And tackle Betsy Wetsy with votes if she calls for renaming Obama schools after Trump.

      • Well, being fair, he did have that scandal of Presidenting while black.

    • To save money on signage, we could rename them after Bruce Lee and have martial arts classes during PE.

      • GoutMachine

        I will support this. Just get a Sharpie and make that R into a B!

        • yyyaz

          Brenda Lee High School has a nice ring to it.

      • Cleo_Cat

        A high school in Arlington, VA, is Washington and Lee. A simple change would honor Denzel and Spike.

        • my rival school (if I wasn’t in Catholic school)

      • Bruce Lee is a son of Seattle and I think he may have a school named after him here

    • Throw a curveball – Lee Krasner High

  • suziq

    The movie Hidden Figures was really really good and you should watch it right now if you haven’t seen it.

    • Ms. MLG on Maui

      So good. Made me cry.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Cry, laugh, cheer and be inspired.

    • Dutchman

      I must await it’s release to Netflix. Being poor and all.

      • suziq

        If you can find it for kind of cheap on the iTunes or amazon to rent it really is well worth it. Netflix doesn’t seem to get all the movies like they used to which is too bad.

    • willi0000000

      if it’s about hannity and sperm i don’t wanna and you can’t make me!

      • suziq

        EW nope nope nope. It is about that really smart lady. You will really like it. Believe me o your money back! (have to find me first)

  • msanthropesmr

    Their mascot can go from “Overweight Southron Man” to the “Fightin’ Engineers”

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      Please don’t hit me with the slide rule

      • GoutMachine

        How about the Fightin’ Punch Cards?

        • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

          Super punch out on a punch card computer. Unexpected.

        • therblig

          as long as the cheerleaders aren’t called the “hollerith-back girls”

          • willi0000000

            do you think EBCDIC girls would be better?

    • The MJ-400 Blinkenlights

    • Pilotshark

      the mascot could be a slideruler.

  • msanthropesmr

    Won’t someone do something to preserve white culture?

  • Ms. MLG on Maui

    Schooley McSchoolface would also have been a great choice.

  • leemoder

    Shit, man, I would’ve been happy if they renamed it Action Jackson Elementary.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
    • Ms. MLG on Maui

      Shirley Jackson Elementary was far too creepy.

      • grindstone

        Mascot: the stoners

      • Rebel Scum Puipui

        We have always lived in the cafeteria.

        • Ms. MLG on Maui

          The Haunting of Health Class.

          • Rebel Scum Puipui

            Would it be too dark to rename an elementary school after that little boy from “The Road Through the Wall”? I feel like that might be crossing a line.

          • Ms. MLG on Maui

            I haven’t read that one, unfortunately, so I can’t say!

          • Rebel Scum Puipui

            Oh, you should! It’s a really good book. But fair warning, I found it really upsetting in ways that surpass even other works of hers that I’ve read, not because of any scary bits or anything, but because the characters are just so disturbingly and realistically assholish.

            It’s like if someone wrote a book about a neighborhood full of Trump supporters, with all their innermost thoughts and feelings, and all of their day-to-day interactions with each other, and all of it was just an unrelenting barrage of unvarnished truth in fiction. Even the sympathetic characters are kind of assholes, and every single one of them felt like a real person. It was awful and haunting and amazing; I recommend the book, but it’s super dark, especially the ending.

          • Ms. MLG on Maui

            I have been trying to read all her books and stories, but my library back home only had a couple of them. I need to see what my new library has. She never fails to make a deep impression on me. Thanks for the info!

      • hudson

        are you talking about the shirley jackson who got a phd in physics from mit?

        • Ms. MLG on Maui

          No. The author of scary books and stories.

          • hudson

            because this one is scary too.

    • Master Contrail Program

      Hurricane Smith School For Gifted Youngsters

    • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

      It’s an elementary school, that usually goes ends before grade 6 right?

      Might as well call the “graduating class” the Jackson Five.

  • Ninja0980

    Yay for nice time stories!

  • Crystalclear12

    One down, how many to go?

    • Daniel

      I believe this is a quote from Jackson, no?

      • Crystalclear12

        I walked right into that one.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
    • leemoder

      All Hail the King!

    • Master Contrail Program

      Well they both blow.

      *ducks*

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Oh, the Chili Peppers added a horn section?

        *ducks*

    • MynameisBlarney

      Now that is what Bob Ross would call a “Happy Accident”.

    • OrG

      Well, now I wanna go see the Red Hot Chili Pipers.

    • MANGO CRIMES

      The Peppers still exist? Huh.

    • Magnificent Mopery.

      The Red Hot Chili Pipers.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Not That Jackson Elementary School.

  • weejee
    • Daniel

      Careful. Some of us might have equilepsy.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Hidden Figures made my heart hurt the way those women were treated. And I’m sure it was toned down for a wider audience.

    • LucindathePook

      Book is even better

    • Ms. MLG on Maui

      That poor woman running miles to the bathroom in heels. What a nightmare.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        in pantyhose in a southern state.

  • Daniel

    In the spirit of Both Sides, I hope a Very Serious Person suggests naming any future Jackson schools after a similarly awful left-wing figure while retaining the original name.
    The Tito Jackson schools that would spring up as a result would guarantee children had a good grasp of ABCs and 1,2,3s, while also perfectly representing the Marxist belief in the dialectic.

    • ScrwUStillaTexanLibrul

      “Perfectly representing the Marxist belief in the dialectic?” As in the Hegelian, if not astronomical, distance between Germaine and Michael? Or Janet and Tito?

      • Daniel

        The astronomical distance is accurately deduced by measuring the Engels.

    • Ms. MLG on Maui

      I blame it on the boogie.

  • Cornelius Fussbudget

    Surprisingly, the Incas never named any schools, or anything else, after Pizarro. The ingrates.

    • Daniel

      Though Mexico does have cortes.

  • FlemmishSpy

    Mary Jackson looks too sweet to be cougar.

    • OrG

      Why do you think cougars aren’t sweet?

      • WotsAllThisThen

        They can be sweet, but they also have claws. Watch out!

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      They need to change it to The Rockets!

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance
      • Skeptical_thinker

        That’s a woman of color leaning on a car of color.

        Cars of color are harder to find nowadays. Plenty of white, black, brown, grey, silver and other nondescript colors cars, but not very many are in teal.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    Those brackets make us wonder — did Andrei say “Adolf [wrong last name]” or just “a school called Adolf,” which is actually kind of charming?

    Adolf Hilter.

    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hjKQVejwqoI/U2Wk6fgIjrI/AAAAAAAAAVc/IFU9lcl1PAs/s1600/Cleese+and+Palin+Hilter+and+Bimmler.jpg

  • Angela Ruzzo

    In the late 1890’s my small Missouri town built two elementary schools – one on the west side of town named Ulysses S Grant, and the other on the east side of town named Robert E Lee. I’m sure this seemed like a fair and just idea at the time. They now have a committee to rename Lee School. It is now a magnet school for students with gifts in the “expressive arts” fields, so I wrote and suggested they name it after Mark Twain or Maya Angelou or Walt Disney or William Least Heat-Moon, because they were all born in Missouri. I doubt this will happen.

    • TJ Barke

      Mark Twain FTW!

  • Ghoti theLinguist

    Space nerds are cool. My daughter is one. She wants to be an astronomer. The women of “Hidden Figures” are her heroes.

  • I grew up as a NASA fanboy. Before there were ever fanboys, I was dreaming of going into space. I HAD NEVER HEARD OF THESE WOMEN until last year! Fuck misogyny, sexism, and racism all to hell.

    • Lord Jim

      Don’t feel like the Lone Stranger. :/

  • Home of the SPACE Cougars.

    • leemoder

      Somewhere, Russ Meyer approves.

  • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

    Randy Jackson was approached, but he called the fight song for the school “too pitchy” and “naw, dawg.”

    • FlownΩver

      And Jackson Pollock said “Not splotchy enough.”

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Jackson Browne politely declined, suggesting they should name it for a dancer instead.

  • ScrwUStillaTexanLibrul

    I took my kid and some of her friends to see Hidden Figures when it came out. Although the world is still rotten in many ways, it is pretty heartwarming to see how much we’ve changed–just in my lifetime. It’s possible, people, it’s possible.

    • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

      Meanwhile, the nation’s top KKKop just gave a rousing speech about Real Americans™ and their “Anglo Saxon heritage.” FFS, how does this KKKookie KKKraven fucKKKwit have a job…?

      • FlownΩver

        He was Trump’s “moderate” choice, narrowly winning out over Dead Heinrich Himmler.

        • ScrwUStillaTexanLibrul

          With that, I do not disagree…

      • ScrwUStillaTexanLibrul

        I agree with characterizing him as the top KKKop, but what he actually said was “Anglo American heritage of law enforcement.” And–I’m checking for lightning bolts–he was actually right about this, and not racist. The phrase refers to the common law and its traditions, in this case, the tradition of community policing the sheriff is supposed to be. The reason the Sheriff of Nottingham is such a villain in the Robin Hood stories is he went way over the top with governmental control and abuse of civil liberties. Reason they say “Anglo American” is because French legal traditions, even German, are often different, and there’s a pretty clear line from the southeastern UK to the US of historical precedent and tradition. Now that sumbitch owes me for coming to his defense.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Yeah, I’m pretty sure you’re right. His reference in that particular case was more Magna Carta than KKK, I think.

          But screw that little elf prick, anyway. Pretty much everything else he’s said in his life IS racist.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist
  • Marion in Savannah

    Well, it’s about damn time we got some good news around this dump… (I keed, I keed.)

  • therblig

    “As you continue to study history, Kiana, you’ll learn that lots of people in the past were idiots who were willing to overlook a little genocide if someone was a military hero.”

    and for the first time in his life, trumpy regrets those bone spurs.

  • renegade500

    This is nice nicetime. Also, too, 10 years ago today, the first Engineer’s Guide to Cats was published on the Tube of You. Very much nicetime if you like cats, engineers, or some combination thereof.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHXBL6bzAR4

    • Marion in Savannah

      That was delicious!

      • renegade500

        An oldie but a goodie! Be sure to check out their subsequent videos!

    • BadKitty904

      SCIENCE!!1!

    • Nockular cavity

      The beginning of the caternet!

      • renegade500

        Our sweet, innocent days before everyone ruined the internet!

  • Tetman Callis

    Did you see “Hidden Figures”? No? Well, see it.

    • Magnificent Mopery.

      I second the motion.

  • Shibusa

    That is a nice time story.
    Apropos of nothing but…I want one of these:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/99a85434392c65d3765d12821e890176c9b5c7ee6ab4b0bb0ec9e45a580452a5.jpg

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      Unexpected.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Where.

      Where.

      Where can I get one.

      • Shibusa

        Josh Hara on the Twitters! @yoyoha

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      Well, I DO like my coffee like I like my women: Strong, black and sweet!

      • Paul

        Mine end up cold and bitter.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Andrew Jackson can certainly not take a flying fuck at the moon, at least not without this smart lady’s help.

  • I hope the kid said Adolph Shitler, or Titler!

    The last local contest for a school name included this name: “Pepe’s school for memes and dreams.”

    I laughed, and laughed, because all I could picture was a dude named Pepe in a psychedelic bus and wild fields of bright flowers 🌞.

    Then I found out about the pepes and it ruined my yellow submarine style elementary school forever.

    Thanks for ruining a good laugh, you alt right turd burglars!

  • WotsAllThisThen

    What, no love for Schooly McSchoolface?

    • Ms. MLG on Maui

      That’s what I said. Kids these days!

  • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

    Jackson Pollack Elementary, home of the Drippers.
    Jackson Browne Elementary, home of the Singer-Songwriters.
    Bo Jackson Elementary, home of the Knowers.
    Samuel L. Jackson Elementary, home of the Badass Motherfuckers.

    • Ms. MLG on Maui

      Which one is your school?

      It’s the one that says Bad Motherfucker.

    • Mavenmaven

      “I am so effing tired of all this mothereffing detention!”

    • Thiazin Red

      Oh man, Bo Jackson the Knower, I’m so old.

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        Hey, I’m right there with ya….I’m the one that thunk it!

        But we’re not old, we’re “seasoned”.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      The path of the righteous student is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.

    • Thiazin Red

      Action Jackson elementary

    • Thiazin Red

      Janet Jackson elementary, home of the Ms. Jacksons.

      • theblackdog

        I guess they’re nasty.

  • Mavenmaven

    Actually, many German refugees named Adolph even changed their own names, hence the prevalence of Dolph in the community, so this change is certainly welcome and overdue.

    • TJ Barke

      It takes a special kind of monster to poison an entire name.

      • redarmyzombie

        Probably the only thing Donald has ever worked hard on.

      • UnsaltedSinner
      • Mavenmaven

        I’m guessing the name Donald may become a bit less popular as well.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Hence the change of my nym back in 2016.

          Fuck Turmp!

        • FlownΩver

          “Duck” Dunn LIBELZ!!!11!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      At least one Jew changed his name to Harpo.

    • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

      Gee, I wonder how many Donalds are going to change their names to Bill or Barry?

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Or Hillary

      • Lord Jim

        Not Justin? 😂

        • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

          USA. Unless we do end up being annexed by Canada (I hope I hope I hope…)

      • Jonny On Maui

        AOT’K

  • Ellie

    It is awfully nice to read nice time news for a change. Refreshing pause.

  • Skeptical_thinker

    OT: Take that, mid-western farmers:

    http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/373672-trump-budget-would-slash-crop-insurance-funds-for-farmers

    You voted for him, you are getting what you deserve.

    Hey, Grassley, what do you think corn farmers will say about this?

    • Marion in Savannah

      They never expect the leopard to eat THEIR faces, do they?

    • TJ Barke

      I never thought the leopards would eat MY face!

      • Anna Rompage

        Or those crazy kids on bath salts….

      • Lord Jim

        Nobody ever expects the Party of Leopards Eating People’s Faces! Dun DUHHHHHN!

        • TJ Barke

          Cardinal Fang takes on a whole new meaning.

    • redarmyzombie

      Apparently I’m gonna get good use out of this one today:

      https://media.giphy.com/media/Nn2wW3g0hwDEA/giphy.gif

    • Rick Hill

      Jeebus, he just looked at what benefits him and his family and then said “Find a way to cut everything else.”

    • UnsaltedSinner

      I suppose the corn farmers will say: “Thanks, Obama!”

    • Christopher Story

      And at a time when this country is experiencing unprecidented wild fires that could threaten cash crops.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      I really thought the face eating leopard would change his spots once he got into office.

    • ImGoingBacon

      LOL, Sen. Pat Roberts (R-Idiot) said that Trump promised he would not cut subsidies. Has anyone told this guy that Trump has a really, really bad track record on keeping promises?

    • Fartknocker

      Archer Daniel Midland lobbyists will approve this. If your crops get blowed away, you still need seeds and agrochems to grow more corn.

      • theblackdog

        Monsanto must be creaming their undies over this as well.

    • teele

      No worries, when he dumps NAFTA, the farmers won’t have any buyers for their corn, anyway. Mexico is already looking at a trade deal with Argentina involving autos and corn. I don’t think all the MAGAts thought the rest of the world could get along without us. Turns out, not so much. Maybe they can talk Putin into ethanol…

  • La forza del resistino

    The book won’t be closed until every Jackson named school in Oakland and NYC is renamed Reggie Jackson. You’re excused Boston.

    • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

      Bo Jackson libelz.

      “Bo knows history. Bo knows biology. Bo knows algebra. Bo knows what a slide rule is for.”

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Since roughly 85 percent of the K-6 school’s population are students of color…

    In Salt Lake City?!

    [/head asplodes]

    • TJ Barke

      They’re just being concentrated there…

      • Lord Jim

        👁.

        • leemoder

          Sauron?!

          • Lord Jim

            All I ever did was make a bunch of cool jewelry for errbody, and all I asked for in return was world domination. Now ALL tha muthafuckers up in my grill! WTF?!

          • TJ Barke

            Orc Rights Now!

      • redarmyzombie

        They like to put them all in one camp…

        (I’ll see myself out)

    • 🍁 Secret Society Girl Guide 🍁

      Good to see they’ve finally added quite a bit of pepper in with that salt :)

      • Lord Jim

        Too much salt ruins any dish.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Students of color in SLC is anyone who isn’t Mitt Romney shade

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Yeah, I kinda get it. Big town, lotsa people moved there for tech, etc.

        My own freshly graduated from college daughter is currently teaching at an SLC Catholic school. And yes, there are actually more than one of them there.

        [/head asplodes again]

  • slide rules and interpolation tables and all that jazz. the kind of brains that the Trumpenclownshow can’t even imagine with their reptilian stumps.

    • Thiazin Red

      My calculus textbook had pages of log tables in it.

      • redarmyzombie

        I can look at a pie chart.

        • efoveks

          And I never met a man who didn’t like my pie!

          I’ll see myself out..

          • redarmyzombie

            So, your name isn’t Janet Weiss?

          • ScrwUStillaTexanLibrul

            Dammit, Janet! Still a slut!

      • I had a prof in college who always picked the numbers for his problems in a way that you could work out everything without a calculator and he expected you to do it that way.

      • Lord Jim

        Dem Bones, Dem (Napier’s) Bones, Dem DRYYYYY Bones…

    • hudson
      • Snowbound Ron

        Oh, gods, those endless tables… I liked to annoy my math teachers by using the more accurate tables in the Handbook of Chemistry and Physics. Two years later I had a calculator with a ‘log’ button. So it goes.

        • hudson

          right? you develop an intuition and taste for it and it becomes a part of your thinking. after some time it gets committed to memory. i was using this till the first sem of my undergrad.

          my current thing is python/numpy/pandas

    • ScrwUStillaTexanLibrul

      My dad, a high school dropout, taught himself calculus to help do his high end marine engine machining job better. He had many slide rules, log books, a lot of brains, and class. Was obviously not a member of the Trump administration, or idiocracy. Not all blue collar people are ignorant Cletii waiting to be led into fascism.

    • trueblue

      oh
      ! sliderules! I had to take a class on them but thankful the mass production of calculators began and so my slideruler became an antique.

      • same here. they scrapped the class the year after I took it.

      • Snowbound Ron

        I fell in between. In high school I bought a slide rule of my own (and still know how to use it) but by college the first really useful calculators came out. Might even still have mine, somewhere.

  • Dutchman
    • WotsAllThisThen

      My cat needs one of those.

      • Monica

        Goℴgle pays to new employee $97/h to complete few services on the laptop … Do job Some only few peroid of time daily and spend more time together with your own family … Anyone can also get this opportunity!!this Friday I purchased a latest Infiniti just after earnin $15617 this-past/four weeks .without any doubt it is the extraordinary approach however you could no longer forgive yourself if you don’t learn this.!aw151x:⇉⇉⇉ http://GoogleStyleLegitimateFreelanceTechJobs/earncash/98$/per/hr ♥♥g♥y♥♥♥x♥♥♥p♥♥s♥♥s♥♥q♥a♥♥♥d♥u♥♥♥k♥♥z♥a♥♥k♥♥♥w♥♥d♥♥e♥♥♥o♥f♥u♥♥♥h♥♥♥o♥♥♥l♥♥q♥i::!nw493a:umkz

    • IMPOed

      And mine, thank you!… ;>)

    • Ms. MLG on Maui

      Smelly tuna! Full of mercury!

      • oh mercy mercy me!

        • Ms. MLG on Maui

          Taunt the tuna! Point and laugh with me now!

      • efoveks

        Makes it run faster!

    • TJ Barke

      Big fan of the Jehovan fan fiction expanded universe.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      People who bring tuna sandwiches to work and eat them in a shared break room tend not to be very popular. Just sayin’…

      • Marion in Savannah

        Even worse are those who heat up fish in an office microwave.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          A whole, raw fish! Go big or go home.

    • Lord Jim

      I couldn’t afford the grilled halibut so I had to settle for the tuna salad?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      That’s what they get for eating canned tuna. THE MONSTERS!

    • Ellie

      I’ve gotten in SO much trouble for laughing at that. All they had to do was leave a wider space, or use a larger U. Bad font choice.

      • Lord High theCryptofishist

        Ah, so their first font impulse is Comic Sans.

    • theblackdog

      Screw you, that’s my favorite kind of sashimi!

      • Lord High theCryptofishist

        Screw you, the bluefin is facing extinction.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      I like it.

    • Snowbound Ron

      Damned show-off swordfish.

    • wavicles

      Next to clams that is.

  • BearsEarsDeLaOursistance

    We’re happy Miss Jackson / You are for real…

    • phoenix00

      No need to apologize a trillion times

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    And no, her first name ain’t baby…

    • Ms. MLG on Maui

      It’s Mary. Miss Jackson, if you’re nasty.

      • Lord Jim

        Strike a pose!

  • Msgr_MΩment

    She actually began working as a “computer”.

    Looks like she had a full set of fingers. Digital computer.

  • Jonny On Maui

    We watched Hidden Figures. It’s a really good movie.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      We cheered as the sign came down.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    (Home of the Cougars)

    I need a ruling from the uberbosses: should I go for the low-hanging fruit or not?

    • Jonny On Maui

      Low hanging fruit is always in play…

    • Gosala

      Yes. Have no shame.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Let’s just say none of their teachers has a Saturday night open very often.

    • BrianW

      I thought about it, but let the opportunity go by.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    New arts and crafts project! Compile a list of not-gross historical figures who have the same last name as gross historical figures so that various institutions and streets can be renamed without additional signage costs. (I recognize that all those towns with Hitler and Stalin Avenues may nevertheless need to buy new signs.)

  • williams517

    Since this is a nice time article I’m gonna try to keep the good vibes rollin’. Here are a couple of more Seinfeld quotes:

    “Jerry! Steinbrenner is in the room and I’m trapped under my desk. You gotta help me!”
    “…who is this?”
    “Jerry!”

    “Excuse me, can you tell us where we are?”
    “Earth”

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Yay! Here’s to all brave science nerds. We need you guys more than ever.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    So much for spermgate:

    Lololololol. https://t.co/6v3Wx78JEf pic.twitter.com/Fy1NYNHjce— Eric Hananoki (@ehananoki) February 13, 2018

    • Lord Jim

      Blaming it on “the staff”. Party of Personal Responsibility, right there.

    • hudson

      the buck never stops with these hectoring patron saints of responsibility.

    • Beelzebubba

      I wondered how (ins)Hannity could possibly generate so much stupid around the clock. Turns out he has TRAINED idiots who do his stupid for him.

  • Suse

    I have several ancestors who were slave owners and just found the will of one of them, a “planter” living in Maryland. It made me teary to see the bequeathing of human beings to his wife and children. I feel like I need to do some kind of atonement ritual.

    • hudson

      why? not your fault.

      • Mintie

        True, but there’s always the “his blood runs through my veins” squick factor. I’ve got it myself and I’m not telling why because I’m not emotionally ready to go there. There, I said it. Gah.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          That blood runs through all our veins, white and black and brown and yellow. We are all one people, it is culture and religion and greed that turns people into slave owners, or into other less-than-admirable human beings. If you have eliminated those negative forces from your life, and not passed them on to your descendants, then you have atoned more than adequately. It’s how you treat people NOW and in the FUTURE that counts.

          • Mintie

            Yes, but in the IMMEDIATE NEAR PAST, there’s that whole “my family is descended from that person who did what?” Family values do change over time, but it’s the “over time” part that sends shivers up my spine. The whole blood factor is pretty much a metaphor for that.

          • Lord High theCryptofishist
          • Hesavebread!

            I once spoke to a white southerner who was haunted by the fact that they almost certainly had black/bi-racial relatives nearby who were the product of plantation rape and had suffered while her branch of the family had prospered. She was part of the rich white family that still owned the town while she had blood relatives living on the wrong side of the track that most of her family wouldn’t admit might exist never mind employ.

    • Zyxomma

      I just today finished reading Mayflower by Nathaniel Philbrick, which is mostly about King Philip’s War (King Philip being a Native American leader, not some Spanish royal). Captured Native Americans, whether or not they joined the rebellion, were sold into slavery. The Pilgrims fucking SUCKED.

  • Thiazin Red

    Happy nice time Science edition. I had tried out a fairly expensive piece of equipment, and liked it. But it is kind of expensive so it looked like I would have to wait a while to buy one. The sales guy said that there was a professor in the building who had one, but they left for Harvard. So it was back to not having one. But today, a lab moved into the space near us, and what is now sitting on the bench next to mine? The machine! The professor did not take it with him when he moved and now it belongs to our neighbor who said we can use it whenever we want.

    I’m going to make lots of neuronal cultures from adult brains with it! Its pretty great.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      That’s a pretty cool hobby. I do some woodworking.

      • Snowbound Ron

        < snickers >

    • ScrwUStillaTexanLibrul

      Are neuronal cultures from child’s brains different? If so, how? This beats my herb garden…

      • Thiazin Red

        Usually I make neuronal cultures from mouse pups, but this lets me isolate live cells from the brains of adult mice. The cells are older, they have internal pathology and the proteins and receptors expressed might be different.

        • Lord High theCryptofishist

          Ah, so Abby Normal, then.

    • Don’t forget to post reviews of the ordinary equipment you use on Amazon.

      #ReviewForScience

    • phoenix00

      Yay for fancy-pantsy electronic toys!!

      Also: https://media.giphy.com/media/KAj6xctoxv3DG/giphy.gif

  • Bitter Scribe

    it doesn’t appear that any sad losers waving (completely anachronistic) Confederate flags showed up to complain that the school board was exactly like ISIS

    Maybe because they know that Andrew Jackson, for all his faults, was a staunch Unionist who loathed John C. Calhoun?

    • Me not sure

      He threatened to send the Army to SC and hang Calhoun (his Vice-president) and his followers over the nullification issue.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I thought he stopped the Civil War 16 years before it started

  • Mintie

    Excellent Nice Time edition! It really does help before diving back into the fray of political filth and garbage. And work. That thing counts, too, I guess.

    • CriticalDragon1177

      Its also nice to know that we’re still making some progress, in spite of Trump.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Think of all the African American Heroes named Forrest, Davis or Lee we could be honoring right now.

    • Thiazin Red

      John Lee Hooker elementary, home of the Blues.

      • Me not sure

        How, how, how…

        • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

          ISWYDT

          • Me not sure

            “Boom, Boom”

    • WIDTAP

      Forest Whitaker Elementary
      Miles Davis High
      Lee Daniels School for the Performing Arts

      • Beelzebubba

        Eight Miles High would be a cool place.

      • phoenix00

        Given the amount of drugs Miles Davis took, you might want to re-reconsider that name too…..

    • All they really need to do is to add “III” to things named after Nathan Bedford Forrest….

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nathan_Bedford_Forrest_III

      • Latverian Diplomat

        That would seem like an improvement…

  • williams517

    Jimi Hendrix High. Home of the experience.

    • mailman27

      Oh yes. Yes, yes.

  • Red Bird on a Shithouse

    good

  • javadavis

    Bonus – ‘Mary Jackson Elementary School’ makes a nice shout out for STEM education.

  • OK, I’m taking a risk here, but I feel I kind of need to speak up on behalf of Andrew Jackson. He, like the rest of us, was a complex human being with both good and bad characteristics. I strongly suggest reading a full biography of him before condemning him to the deepest parts of Hell.

    http://pureblather.com/2017/11/29/book-review-andrew-jackson-his-life-and-times/
    http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/11/18/lessons-in-manliness-from-andrew-jackson/

    Oh, I agree that Mary Jackson should have at least a school named after her. I’m OK with the name change.

    • JustDon’tSayCAPSLOCK!!!

      I did. and I do. He was a sumbitch.

      • Beelzebubba

        But, but . . . he was a complex sumbitch.

        • JustDon’tSayCAPSLOCK!!!

          Yup. So was John Wayne Gacy.

    • Khaleesisdoormat

      I just don’t know how anything can mitigate genocide.

      • Nothing can – PROVIDED he’s truly guilty of it.

        • Dude personally said fuck off to the Cherokee after they had done everything in their power to bow down to the “white” culture, even going so far as adapting plantations and owning slaves themselves.
          Motherfucker is guilty.

    • CripesAmighty

      Oh, I’m all for remembering him. The literature can join the voluminous volumes on Hitler on the shelf.

      • little miss high and mighty

        Think of all those many poor Cherokee-owned slaves who had to tag along.
        The dropped hollyhock seeds along their path to find their way back home from Oklahoma someday.
        (Source: Sarah Vowell and others)

    • little miss high and mighty

      Or, go full hagiograpphic sci fi jailhouse fantasy with Dalton Trumbo’s
      “The Remarkable Andrew”

      • What I really don’t understand is how Jackson can be held personally responsible for the “Trail of Tears” when it happened a year AFTER Jackson left office – and the Indian Removal Act was a bill passed by Congress, and not an executive order.

        • little miss high and mighty

          He got it together for his speculator- creditors back home- throughout lower Apalachia.Just because it was implemented laterr might hav been a try at facesaving. His record is bleak all the way down, 1st nation-wise.

  • You know, I’m starting to get to the age where I indulge in the obligatory lamentations about “kids these days.” So I’m always pleased by the occasional story that demostrates why I may have underestimated the next generation.

    (Of course I’m sure right after this I’ll read some “trend piece” about how the young’uns are sticking laundry soap in their mouths and go right back to eye-rolling. Lol)

  • Zyxomma

    Now, we just have to get his ugly slaveholding mug off the $20.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      Munchkin killed Tubman being on the $20. I fully expect them to put Two Scoops or maybe Putin’s dick on it and put Mal-de-mer-a-lago on the back.

  • Snowbound Ron

    We’re still in Hell, but a few people are making nice spaces in it, with comfy chairs and flowers and some good music on the stereo.

    • little miss high and mighty

      We all doing nice space happytimes for Ash Wednesday
      Come on down

    • Canned Covfefe

      I need this as a picture of some sort I will hang it lovingly in my home to remind me that this is true and that I am an optimist. Mostly. Or I used to be. Mostly.

  • kLo

    Not to trivialize Mary Jackson’s accomplishments but “Cool Black Lady Space Nerd…” https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/429ebac603e744e3ed59b1d76d1cf727a53bd02fe1068407b0b9e327ff8eba07.jpg

  • xintheline

    Grew up in the Jackson Elementary neighborhood although attended a different elementary school. Lots of my friends went to Jackson. Great move and honors the students and their diversity!!

  • motmelere

    Feeling the need to impress upon you all what happened upon the Trail of Tears; The large part of the Cherokee nation saw the writing on the wall and said yes, let’s go euro! not good enough, said Jackson. Die while we take your land away because you aren’t white enough.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      “The Indian Removal Act” stands next to the “Chinese Exclusion Act”, the “Fugitive Slave Act” and other examples of American Despicable-ism.

    • simplejmalarkey

      & not just the Cherokee. Every Tribe “removed” (force marched) from the East/South by the US Army under “president” Jackson has their own Trail of Tears. Choctaw, Creek, Chickasaw, Seminole, and more. Ugly reminder of America’s long standing racism.

  • Monica

    Goℴgle pays to new employee $97/h to complete few services on the laptop … Do job Some only few peroid of time daily and spend more time together with your own family … Anyone can also get this opportunity!!this Friday I purchased a latest Infiniti just after earnin $15617 this-past/four weeks .without any doubt it is the extraordinary approach however you could no longer forgive yourself if you don’t learn this.!aw151x:⇉⇉⇉ http://GoogleStyleLegitimateFreelanceTechJobs/earncash/98$/per/hr ♥♥g♥y♥♥♥x♥♥♥p♥♥s♥♥s♥♥q♥a♥♥♥d♥u♥♥♥k♥♥z♥a♥♥k♥♥♥w♥♥d♥♥e♥♥♥o♥f♥u♥♥♥h♥♥♥o♥♥♥l♥♥q♥i::!nw493a:umk

  • CripesAmighty

    Pockets of decency–and smart kids. Rare, but still out there.

  • AlanInSF

    So nice to hear. Also too we should never forget that our reddest states have blue cities in them.

  • CriticalDragon1177

    This is going to tick a bunch of racist losers off, and Its going to be fun to watch them whine!

  • TimResistit


    so if they want to go name something after Andrew Jackson, they can do that a few hours after their next heavy meal.”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c0ad3045fbc2761338f760162115d8c9fdacb79151023acea0a96cfdd71b9c65.gif

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