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Wray is all “ACTUALLY” …

On Monday, Sarah Huckabee Sanders opened her mouth and said once the White House learned “the extent” of former White House staff secretary Rob Porter’s constant wife-beating last Tuesday night, it was handled and the beater was out the door within 24 hours. She added that Donald Trump wishes everyone well, even the wife-beaters and the rapists, but not the Mexican rapists, those are stinky. (Perhaps not an exact quote.)

Last week, we were supposed to believe Chief of Staff John Kelly had NO IDEA Rob Porter was a big wife beater who beats wives until the Daily Mail reported on it, and that when he found out, he handled it decisively within 40 minutes, as opposed to 50 minutes, which would be unacceptable.

Sanders also seemed on Monday to say any problems that might have occurred in deciding whether Porter (who in his position as staff secretary saw all the classified information Trump saw) would get a full security clearance are the FBI’s fault and not the White House’s. Of course, an FBI official Politico spoke to says that’s bullshit:

“The FBI conducts background investigations on behalf of specific agencies, but we do not grant or deny or otherwise adjudicate security clearances on behalf of these agencies, and we don’t make security clearance recommendations,” the official said.

Rather, the FBI conducts a background check and presents its findings to the agency at issue. “They decide whether or not to grant or deny the clearance,” the official said.

Oh.

It’s pretty inconvenient for the White House that FBI Director Chris Wray testified for the Senate Intelligence Committee this morning and Democratic Senator Ron Wyden asked about this very issue. Specifically, Wyden asked, “Was the FBI aware of allegations related to Rob Porter and domestic abuse, and if so, was the White House informed this could affect his security clearance? When were they informed, and who at the White House was informed?” Wray couldn’t answer every single question, because #FBIReasons, but he did say this:

What I can tell you is that the FBI submitted a partial report on the investigation in question in March, and then a completed background investigation in late July, and then soon thereafter we received request for follow-up, inquiry, and we did the follow-up and provided that information in November, [and] we administratively closed the file in January. And then earlier this month, we received some additional information and we passed that on as well.

Well! So much for acting decisively within either 24 hours or 40 minutes last week! They sure didn’t act decisively within 24 hours or 40 minutes LAST MARCH, when they first heard about it.

Former DOJ spox Matthew Miller makes an important point about that interim report LAST MARCH:

Like wife-beating. They were saying “HELLO, HERE IS THE WIFE-BEATING.”

Former DOJ spox Matthew Miller also has a #JOKE:

LOL! It’s funny because after Trump fired James Comey in order to obstruct justice into the FBI investigation into Trump and Russia, Sarah Huckabee Sanders said she had talked to “countless” FBI agents and they were all thrilled Trump fired Comey, because they hated that big lummox SO BAD. Fuckin’ FBI agents, just hitting Shuckabee up on the videophone 24/7, can’t stop won’t stop, you betcha, SHS is BFFs with the whole FBI 4 EVER.

Former CIA dude Ned Price brings up another important point about Wray’s timeline, specifically the part where the White House asked for “follow-up” after it finished its background investigation:

Riiiiiiiight. NO WIFE-BEATER! NO WIFE-BEATER! SEND US NEW REPORT THAT SAYS ROB PORTER IS NOT WIFE-BEATER!

Wray’s testimony isn’t new information, but rather confirms reporting last week from the Washington Post. White House counsel Don McGahn learned about the allegations last January. John Kelly learned about them at least as long ago as last fall. It’s just that the White House REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted to keep working with the wife-beater, because he was so good as his job when he wasn’t busy wife-beating.

Besides, Donald Trump just loved Sexxxxy Rob! Of course, the president did remind us last week to #NeverForget that bitches often be lyin’.

And golly, we guess Sarah Huckabee Sanders loves Old Rob too, because according to Politico, once pictures of his ex-wives with black eyes started to come out, she “hastily” put together a little off-the-record chat with Porter and a few reporters, like the New York Times‘s Maggie Haberman, so he could politely explain that, you know, bitches who are his ex-wives often be lyin’.

Point is, the White House definitely handled this as soon as they the media found out about it and there are no more wife-beaters in the White House, unless there are, but don’t worry, they’ll be fired as soon as the media finds out.

Until then, we’re guessing Kellyanne Conway probably wouldn’t mind setting them all up on dates with Hope Hicks.

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  • eggs ackly-wright

    Snarlin’ Sarah is flappin’ her gums again about how the tax cut is making everything nice again.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      Make America broke again

    • OutOfOrbit

      i just heard that with the tax cuts for billionaires is passed, the federal deficit is suddenly an “issue of National Security, so cuts must be made” (SocSec & Medicare of course)

      • cmd resistor

        So an article I read yesterday said the average American can expect between a $5 and $20 increase in weekly pay due to reduced withholding IF the government gets its shit together to even tell employers what to do. I will just put that $20/month in my mattress, assuming I’ll have to pay it back next year.

        • TimResistit

          Or pay it in state/local taxes to make upo for a loss of revenue sharing from the Feds. It’s a big circle jerk of passing the same money around .

      • TJ Barke

        That’s the long game. They did this explicitly so they could attack those programs.

        • OneYieldRegular

          Same thing Trump did with DACA.

        • Seek

          It’s a feature not a bug

        • Bill O’Neil

          This has been Paul Ryan’s wet dream for a long time!

          • TJ Barke

            Which shows what a sick puppy he really is.

    • “M”

      I’ve taken some small enjoyment from explicit transcripts that include the hundreds of times she says “Uh”. You can literally hear the wheels grinding in her head searching for the next lie.

      • cmd resistor

        I found it interesting watching her for a good 20 minutes the other day with closed captioning and no sound. I usually only ever have managed short snippets. Seeing the lies written out, even just as captions, made them seem worse. If you just lie orally, it’s like the words disappear…..until you read a transcript later.

        • “M”

          ” If you just lie orally, it’s like the words disappear”

          Not an accident, and also why we have transcripts.
          *nods along with you*

  • Asterix

    And no one will hold the liars accountable.

    • “M”

      I’m pretty sure ongoing felonies under the federal Acts that cover espionage don’t have statutes of limitation. Maybe they do … ?

  • Hobbes’ like, smart Evil Twin

    I’m curious what that shitstain Haberman wrote or had planned to write……

    “Unnamed sources inside the Whitehouse are 100% certain that the allegations against Porter are false ….”

  • Painter of Goats

    I sometimes wonder if instead of a salary, Trump’s staff are paid commissions on their lies. I have no other explanation for what comes out of this White House.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    John Kelly is gonna lecture us about honor and integrity so hard now.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      How dare we question a man who wore stars on his shoulder straps!

      • Amy!

        So … you’re saying this is a guy who likes wearing spangled brassieres?

        Not that I’m judging! I mean, at least it’s not pee hookers, right?

  • Tetman Callis

    Trump Town — Where the Stupid Never Stops.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      “Where the lies never stop.” FIFY.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      “Home to America’s Largest Pile of Bullshit!”

  • ManchuCandidate

    Semper Maledicus, John Kelly.

    I never thought this would be the case, but I am starting to think that the dog torturing/killing psycho Huckabee son is the least worst Huckabee kid.

    Good job on raising your kids Ex Gubbiner.

    • “M”

      Nice. I see what you did there.

    • texcynical

      and exceedingly mendacious …

    • eggs ackly-wright

      Any relation to Biggus Diccus?

    • MynameisBlarney

      Them Xtian Family Values are shining through!

  • James Baskin

    “Sarah Huckabee Sanders said she had talked to “countless” FBI agents and they were all thrilled Trump fired Comey,”
    Ummmmmm names please?

  • BreakingDeadMen

    You know the scene in History of the World where Moses goes: I give you these fifteen (drops tablet)…TEN Commandments? In the Huckster Family Bible, he drops another one.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      I believe they are spelled out with refrigerator magnet characters now.

      • WIDTAP

        …which reads “Don’t get caught”

        • Eileen Besse

          THIS!!!!!

  • “M”

    I understand he’s worth at least tens of millions and as such doesn’t have to raise his voice — but I wish he’d just yell. Angus King says his constituents believe there was no Russian meddling in the U.S. election “because Trump said so”. This place really needs a wakeup call.

  • James Baskin

    It’s just that the White House REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted to keep working with the wife-beater, because he was so good at keeping Hope Hicks smiling.

    • Stable Uniomist Raan

      or else.

  • Jack Has a Memo!!!!

    Pooty Lips. When, oh when will you learn, Pooty Lips?

    • Jeffery Campbell

      What’s to learn? She is doing exactly what she was hired to do.

  • armed_bears

    Perhaps not an exact quote.

    But pretty fuckin’ close.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Maybe it would help if Kellyanne went back on TV to remind everyone that unemployment among domestic violence victims is at an all time low?

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    I need to wait for Sean Hannity and Tucker Carlson to weigh in—not to help figure out who’s telling the truth, but just to bust a gut laughing.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    It only took 40 minutes to respond. Unfortunately, Kelly was orbiting a black hole at the time so to the rest of us it seemed like 11 months.

    • puredog

      He’s orbiting a black hole now.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Sarah Huckabee Sanders shows, again and again, that the lyin’ ass sour apple does not fall far from the tree.

    And John Kelly no longer has any honor to impugn.

  • moeman

    Small quibble, should it not be (instead of ‘constant wife-beating’), constant wives-beating or constant wives-beaten or constant wife-beatings? Asking for a friend (not named Sarah).

    • “M”

      There was also a girlfriend before Hope Hicks. I’m also not sure it should matter, honestly.

      • moeman

        I know, being a semi-sarcASStic ass.

        • “M”

          Mhm

      • WIDTAP

        “There was also a girlfriend before that Porter cheated on with Hope Hicks”
        FTFY

        • “M”

          I can’t even follow the plot with that guy. I’m infuriated that Hahvahd let him in, let alone let him out. I’m afraid I’m one of those hardheads from the “once is more than enough with the wife-beating” school.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      In this administration, “wife-beating” is a generic activity everyone engages in. The number of wives is not an important factor. See also, sammich-making.

      • WIDTAP

        Neither of Porter’s wive had dinner ready by 6. What did you expect would happen?

    • Stable Uniomist Raan

      Only if it weren’t hyphenated.

  • “M”

    Look at her pouty face. Also, another tell on when she’s about to both lie & be defensive is when she says “Look”. You can also tell when she’s repeating what she memorized. SOMEONE CATCH HER IN A LIE.

  • TJ Barke
  • MynameisBlarney
    • IMPOed

      I’m beginning to see a pattern here……..

      • willi0000000

        yeah . . . Betty is right pretty often.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Just who’s going to work in this White House now? Is there a bottom of the bottom of the bottom of the barrel?

      • willi0000000

        i repeat . . . “there is no bottom, only more down”

    • GoutMachine

      7) Hires another awful employee to replace the fired awful employee

      8) See #1-#7

  • Jeffery Campbell

    I actually, with my own eyes and ears, saw and heard Sanders say yesterday, “I don’t speak for the President.”

    That is literally her job.

    • Alternative job description!

      • WIDTAP

        Plausible deniability for Press Secretaries?

        “What do I look like? Twitter?”

        • Pisto75666

          She’s right, to a point. His Twittering speaks for him.

  • puredog

    Go for it KAC. Sounds like Hope likes the rough trade.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    It’s all the fault of the White House Personnel Security Office, which is in no way affiliated with the Trump Administration.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Damn Obama holdovers!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • OutOfOrbit

      Mueller (R)

      • Lord Jim

        Richard Painter, former GW Bush chief ethics lawyer, is also a Republican. He also savages the Trump admin daily. In addition, as Vice-President of Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington has been part of its efforts to take the Trump admin to court for Emoluments Clause violations. Besides, people who know Mueller, both D and R, testify to his integrity.

        • OutOfOrbit

          Yes & yes. But it’s a small world and needling at a protagonist from here, as tiny and insignificant as it is, may eventually become a mote in a key-actor’s eye.

          • Lord Jim

            Patience, young padawan. The Watergate investigation took two years to conclude. Mueller is just closing in on the one-year mark and already has secured multiple indictments of, and interviews with, key players.

          • OutOfOrbit

            but i wasn’t worried about Nixon going nuclear just because the flipped his wig or felt in personal, mortal danger. this trumpsterfire will go nuc’ if he thinks it’s his only option & meanwhile, mueller should have enough by now to at least remove him from office if not send him to prison. i’m afraid mueller is obsessing when he should be acting

          • Lord Jim

            When you hunt the big game, you have to bring it down with the first shot.

          • sarafina

            Mueller CAN’T bring The Dotard down. Paul Ryan would have to start the process.

    • proudgrampa

      I love that guy.

    • GoutMachine

      We are long overdue for one!

  • cmd resistor

    So I have seen a few stories that they were actually in talks with Porter about a promotion? Have not read, though.

  • It’s almost like these people are “deplorable,” but that word seems to deeply offend conservative snowflakes, so maybe I’ll call them “shitty garbage people” instead.

    • Brian Fowler

      I thought they wore that word like a badge of honor.

      • OutOfOrbit

        that’s garbadge of honor

        fify

      • puredog

        The witty ones do, which means it’s a rare position.

    • Ray in VT

      Best comment of the day.

    • Ask 4 Data

      Amerikh*nt really melts their snowflake hearts ;)

  • Indiepalin

    Sarah has been impossible since she went on that all-gluten diet.

    • therblig

      all glutton, you say?

  • BigCSouthside

    So, either kelly or wray are getting fired, right

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    “We’ve condemned domestic violence in every way possible . . .” Except by firing abusers who work in the WH, Poot Lips. That’s kind of a big one.

    • OneYieldRegular

      The very idea of a Trump Presidency is domestic violence.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Lascauxcaveman

    Sarah Huckabee Sanders said she had talked to “countless” FBI agents and they were all thrilled Trump fired Comey

    Huckabee heard from countless FBI agents glad to see Comey hit the trail. Because counting past three is haaaaaard.

    • Khavrinen

      Newsflash, Sarah: “countless” does not mean “more than someone (who is really bad at counting) can count.”

  • Ray in VT

    What? The White House was being dishonest? Who would have thought?

    • MynameisBlarney

      So unlike them!

      • Ray in VT

        I’m shocked. Shocked!

        • YoBunnyBunny

          Seriously! Next thing you know, we’ll be accusing them of colluding with the Russkies!

  • Anna Rompage

    I guess Wray is just another godless RINO that hates America, just like Comey and Mueller….

  • miss_grundy

    Wow, color me unsurprised!!!!/s

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    How much funding for the Violence Against Women Act?
    Mulvaney told you yesterday.
    No he didn’t.
    That’s because you didn’t ask him! Checkmate!

  • JoeChristmas

    Finally, one of there incessant lies isn’t about Russia!

    • Lascauxcaveman

      It’s a breath of fresh air. But is it Presidential? Wolf now joins Glenn Greenwald for analysis…

      • Thorn Spike

        Ugh. Thanks, I just ate.

  • Brian Fowler

    Stupid question, but suppose for a moment that instead of doing all this lying to cover for Porter, Kelly, Huckabee, Spicer, et al, just all straight up said “We all told the president about Porter’s abusive past months ago, and he insisted on keeping Mr. Porter.” We know none of these people would have done this, but imagine they did.

    What do you think would have happened?

    • yyyaz

      The entire maladministration would have collapsed in a singularity?

    • puredog

      I’d like to respond, but you broke my imaginer.

    • RickyG

      Nothing of consequence to this administration. I woulda banked on it.

    • OneYieldRegular

      36% of Americans would have put on MAGA hats and started beating their spouses?

      • Brian Fowler

        I’m sorry I asked. I think I’m happier they tried to lie their way out of it now.

  • Anna Rompage

    “Sarah Sanders flails disastrously after FBI busts her for lying about clearances”

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Kristin Welker: Christopher Wray said they closed the investigation in June and gave the White House the paperwork. Yesterday, you said you hadn’t received any paperwork. Who’s telling the truth?

    HuckaBooBoo: Both.

    • cmd resistor

      He didn’t say WHO in the White House, now DID HE?!!11!!

    • eggs ackly-wright

      The White House, having no arms, dropped the paperwork.

      • cmd resistor

        And then the dog ate it.

        • yyyaz

          Except the Traitor in Chief hates pets, so it was probably one of the bipedal rats scrounging around.

    • Tetman Callis

      The FBI gave the paperwork to the porter.

    • OneYieldRegular

      “Oh shoot, we must have inadvertently put that in the secret mail bag to the Russ-…uh…Hey, look over there, Sean Hannity, you have a question?”

    • gnomemansanisland

      Sanders: Technically the White House is off-white in color, so ya burnt!

  • IMPOed

    OMG? SERIOUSLY? I’m SHOCKED I tell yuh!!

  • Oh boy, Jared needs to get busy with this peace in the middle east thing.

    He might start with Israeli police as they’ve recommended indicting Netanyahu on corruption charges.

    • weejee

      And his bestie Bibi is heading out the corruption door.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Yes! Make it so FSM.

  • eyelashviper

    The WH has become the National House of Shame, not matter what the outrage, they are on the wrong side.

    https://cdn.creators.com/198/222466/222466_image.jpg

  • BadKitty904

    Yes, Chris. We know.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Today I had the privilege to advise a man about his finances who now lives in Israel. He was a holocaust survivor and along the conversation he found out I am a history scholar with a special interest in the second world war and in particular the eastern front and the holocaust. A deeply humbling experience which I hope everyone could have in this lifetime to make sure we won’t have a generation with loads of chances to first hand speak to someone from a similar atrocity.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      THIS ^^^ My late father helped free the camps and what he saw was so horrible he came home and had a nervous breakdown. He said the people left were walking skeletons and we could never let that happen again. Those survivors deserve all the respect.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        And to realize your father did not even liberate the true deathcamps like Auschwitz and Sobibor but the more “moderate” concentration camps.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          I do not know the name of the camps he helped liberate.
          He had tears in his eyes, 40 years later, telling me about how they tried to help by giving them chocolate bars, (because they had them in their pockets) and they could not keep them down. They felt bad for adding to the suffering.

      • Little Lulu Ω

        Mine too. Was at Buchenwald the day after it was liberated. He didn’t like to talk about it.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          I never thought to ask him where that was. I guess I thought he would live forever. It is hard to believe he has been gone 18 years.
          I do have his honorable discharge papers, but the language is very strange.

          • Monica

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      • george lastrapes

        So did mine, Natalie. I made him tell me about it, I was too young, but I persisted, and my uncomfortably lapsed catholic self still weeps when I remember. Where’ve you been? interesting 4 weeks for me. Nearly got unpersoned. By wonkette.I’ll find this in my Profile and expand, you likewise.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          I have been working with my mentor on a second chapter to our third video game module, featuring medieval Amazon Women. Here is a picture of an area I designed with two of my characters. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4b5fc060a095835f6c57df36aa11e0c21f0d2562fae2e35c3ef627db3e51f2bc.jpg .

          • george lastrapes

            Scary, exciting? When I run for cover! Had no idea. Somebody told me you stayed home and baked cookies!
            Me- cyclothymia sounds like a period of mild tropical weather, unless you have it (think Carrie in ‘Homeland’. Not so severe, but. now a nasty complication of COPD. And the folks at Hospice “Not just for Dying” insist on giving me a med that shouldn’t be taken with what I have, cuz it makes the almost fun ‘highs’ of cyclo into actual crazyfests. And I think Ive been taunted by triggerers.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Stay well George, we need everyone these days. good luck with the therapy.

          • george lastrapes

            The therapy consists in not giving antidepressants to folks with cyclothymia. Makes me go from kinda moody to screaming manic, like Carrie in Homeland. The fact that it never happened before was just not even considered! Did you read the part where these multiple personalities were convinced they had me because my last name a French name of distinguished lineage, is LastRAPES? Obviously a PORNSTAR name abusive at that.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            I know anti depressants can be very scary. My husband got prescribed Lexipro for depression. I had been on it when my mom died and had no issues. He took it and had homicidal/suicidal thoughts. He’s not a violent person and we don’t even own a gun. (He’s Canadian.)
            I always thought your last name was La Strapes
            Yes, I am learning coding and animation. I’m part of a team. there are 4 of us. My mentor is in California, I’m in Florida, and the other two are in England.They have done multiple mods together I’m on the third one. If you like i can make a video of one of the scenes, I have animated. (The parts that are clothed anyway.) I also help write the story and script for the dialogue.
            I used to paint but oils were beyond me, everything wound up muddy colored. LOL. Do you work from a photo? Or real life?

          • george lastrapes

            Photo, usually, cuz who’s got time/patience to pose? But my output: 300 years ago, paintinge were done with black, white, dull yellow, dull red, that’s all— and seem to be wonderfully colorful and vivid! Velazquez!

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            To get an image into, out of your computer, say a photograph
            If you have a smartphone you just take a picture with it and email it to yourself. then right click on the image file and download it with a name you can find later I put mine in the photos section for organizational purpose.
            If you don’t have a smart phone you need a scanner. If a friend has a smart phone get them to take a pic and email it to you.
            As for a theory on the persons you asked about, I have seen them around. I can’t say I know either one. Perhaps they think you are a troll? Some Wonkers get very defensive to the point of hostility because this is truly a safe space. And troll hunting seems to be considered a necessary housekeeping task. Any newish person is suspect. I have to go. I will talk to you later.

          • george lastrapes

            OT but the most impressive /terrifying A I artwork I’ve ever: Victor Espinoza, Napoleon Bonaparte. Something from after the Convergence, which is of course when the Humans found that if everything was conscious then conscious lost its meaning (or rather meaningfulness). All is of course 1s and 0s, but this looks like say a dusty attic because it is being scanned by a fragment of what had been a human mind once.
            VICTOR ESPINOZA, NAPOLEON BONAPARTE, google images

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            I loved art appreciation,it was my favorite class in college. I have been fortunate enough to visit the Hermitage and the amazing collection there, as well as the Vatican, who rivaled Napoleon, in the pursuit and acquisition of stolen art. (of course I have only seen a small fraction of the said collections)
            I will check Espinoza as I don’t remember him.

          • george lastrapes

            Espinoza is a CGI guy! He took a famous and not very good work and algo-rhythm-ed it, A-Eyed it, turned pig cells into pixels, all that stuff. Impressed me, not the easiest thing, impressed the very FOOK outa me. If I could think of a more glowing tribute, I …. but a warning. I began to find it melancholic, somehow dead– dried-up, fossilized, extinct. Eerily depressing.That might be just me. But, please, if you take a look, don’t look too long or keep it around.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            As long as it isn’t Bosch or Goya, I found their stuff creepy.

          • george lastrapes

            Demons don’t creep me out half so much as ENTROPY. Question, perhaps the most serious question of all— if the supernatural is a spurious concept, how does God deal with entropy, what can He do?
            Perplexing question for the theistic thermodynamicist.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            It’s not so much the demons as the gleeful sadism and rending of limbs etc. Don’t get me wrong I have a strong stomach, I was a surgical assistant, I’ve helped with most types of surgery. It’s the infliction of pain that I find offensive.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            It’s fascinating for his use of vignettes to tell a larger story e.g. the horse trampling peasants and what looks to be Jesus on the horses belly. It is monstrously busy and gives a sensory overload of sorts. I feel overwhelmed as no doubt Napoleon’s victims did.
            I am sure each sector has a significance, and is all part of the legend of the man and monster that was Napoleon.
            That is just my off the top of my head analysis. It reminds me somehow of Pablo Picasso’s Guernica, In the horrors of war theme.

          • george lastrapes

            Good on you! As close to art, classical art, as I have seen to come from such a milieu. The best part? it frightens me, as only good art can do. Almost into nightmare territory.

          • george lastrapes

            My favorite artwork? Artist in his studio, Vermeer. I made the guards nervous, as well I might, but they gave me astonishing leeway, long as I kept hands behind back and wore a mask. And still after a few mins I had to pull back and impersonate a regular gallery goer.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            The gentle Dutch master of the domestic middle class scene. I love the Lace Maker and the View of Delft. I thought Delft a lovely town and have a pic of a similar view, that I photographed.

          • george lastrapes

            SO VERY LOVELY.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist
          • george lastrapes

            Vermeer broke one of their cups, never lived down the embarrassment. Was even blamed for the little accident at the Arsenal. (Just made that up.)
            Ever watched Peter Greenaway’s two films, “Nightwatching” and “J’accuse”? About Rembrandt? Highest Reccomendos.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            No, I will have to check them out, thanks.

          • george lastrapes

            Read reply to you! Above, expanded!

          • george lastrapes

            We have trodden the same paths in Delft. Perhaps at the same time, If such can be said about a place which is so timeless.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            2007, 2008, and 2010, mostly.

          • george lastrapes

            Me, 1972. since the place is timeless, that was at the same time.

          • george lastrapes

            YESSS. me too. I as well.

          • george lastrapes

            I suppose two non-trolls could each get the impression that the other is a troll. Would make for comic misunderstandings. The first encounter was rather maddening, this one- rather odd. As manic as I may have been I don’t think I have lost my grasp of the quotidian banality of well, quotidian banality. Thank you much for your abundant good sense, and I do look forward to some artcrit discussions!

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Sometimes it just takes a different perspective. We are all very touchy these days, with trolls invading every where on the net. Dok even chided us on the Sunday feature Shit for Brains (The one where he regularly castigates and excoriates someone for being hostile to the site in general.) He asked us to please stop accusing trolls automatically of being Russian. He said that’s just intellectually lazy.
            Also tone is hard to read on the ‘net. You know you are snarking but someone here might think you are serious.

          • george lastrapes

            Thoughtfully said. Talking w/ Maybe, showing her some poetry Must get back

          • george lastrapes

            That’s perhaps my favorite device- the tone is not quite right- and that is the key to a frauding pranklet self-destructing in plain sight! Too often missed, then resented. Anything I have to explain is obviously unready for public consumption.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            My sense of humor is a bit different as well so I can relate. Some people think I’m funny when I tell a straight story.
            I once had a comedian friend who was forever writing down things I would say.

          • george lastrapes

            Doesn’t happen like that to me. I realize with a bang that I’ve been ripped off, not by a comedo but by academics and such. My latest post to Maybe, I articulated a powerful (I think) insight, albeit poorly. And have you a turn of mind even a bit scientific? (And do you realize how few and far between are those with whom I can talk?)

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            I loved biology and organic chemistry.When I was younger 6 or so I had my own microscope and was forever looking for the next thing I could put under a slide cover. (Hairspray was the best.) I wanted to be a scientist when I was 7. Then I wanted to be an Egyptologist until I was 12. I was a small adult as a child. I learned to read when I was 4 years old so other children that couldn’t read weren’t very interesting.
            What is your area of scientific expertise?

          • george lastrapes

            None in particular. Some interests me more than the rest, but it all ties together sooner or later as HOW could it not? I’ll try to think of a good or better example of the mischief I’ve caused, only trying to help. After a good or a not-so-good night’s sleep, m’dear, & thanx for your patience.

          • george lastrapes

            Be sure to read below. Our re-re-rewriting of these posts is making an achronous palimpsest of our comms. Time for email? Mine is a rat’s nest hwvr. How many does gmail allow?

          • george lastrapes

            When my sensayuma fails, I try sinsemilla. Or I did. I’m kinda an abstainer, like one of the grown-ups my kids warned me about.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            I used to enjoy a good toke, but it is too strong for me these days.

          • george lastrapes

            That happened to a shocking degree
            I decided to channel , well, devil-worshippers who mistakenly believed they were Christians, Pop culture is full of such, henh? Two-fisted-twisteds.I thought the shock would last a half a second and then become apparant to all—-it didn’t. It seemed dozens were in shock.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            oh hell that’s funny. To me that’s funny, anyway. Perhaps that is too true to be funny these days. I feel better if it has a snark tag on it. ( /s). Have a good night. I’m off to sleep perchance to dream.

          • george lastrapes

            I’m off to weep perchance to scream.

          • george lastrapes

            A small snark can take a hand off before you know you’re no longer holding your dick, but a Great White can see to it that that is no longer a concern in less than a tenth of a second!

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Why do I visualize that as an editorial type cartoon? A cautionary tale perhaps?

          • george lastrapes

            Cuz you don’t have one of those (you know what I mean, pardon my filthy mouf)— one of those to lose. And that’s just mean!

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Sorry I have a propensity to use the f-bomb for emphasis. Genitalia used in conversation has never bothered me. I came here for the dick jokes, after all.

          • george lastrapes

            So that’s all I am to you? A dick joke?

          • george lastrapes

            “Wonkette: come for the incisive political commentary, stay for the dick jokes!”

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Yes, I believe that is our official motto.

          • george lastrapes

            Spelled , Lastrapes. Said LASTrups.

          • george lastrapes

            Dammit you told everybody about my therapy no choice now but to pretend to be what? one or the other???

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            I said that before I knew anything about your issues. I am a former surgical nurse could be any number of things Physical therapy for one. Bear in mind we are posting on a dead thread. Unless we got a notice that someone has written to us, personally, we don’t go back.

          • george lastrapes

            The Dead Thread! Now that’s rich with scary resonances, Like Stephen King! Thanks for explication, this is a Brave New World to me, that hath such people in it! How I love to be alive. So happy you are here to point out the sights to me!
            Faint vibrations emanated from the dead thread– OOOEEWOOO. I am Dante, you my Virgil.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Lol, that’s the first time anyone has called me that.In this particular forum that I access through bookmarking Wonkette site or answering a comment on my email. look for the home button or click on any story link if you look for the latest story that is usually the open thread where anything goes discussion wise. Otherwise you are supposed to comment on the story content unless you are replying to someone else’s comment.

          • george lastrapes

            I am the last surviving member of a pre-electronic tribe. What we called ‘phones’ were actually paper cups with string in between them pulled tight enough to transmit a tiny bit of sound. And………………..

          • george lastrapes

            I’ve got a theory that may unravel this whole mess: when Trump holds his thumb and forefinger in a circle, just so, the other (short) fingers in a graceless arch, he’s not signalling ‘white power’. It simply means he’s got an especially tasty booger which he will shortly try to snarfle up incon-
            spicuously.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Nothing would surprise me where the orange-a-tan man is concerned.

        • george lastrapes

          Are you following this? It’s crazy, I’m crazy. Am I right at all? It seems like he’s kinda cornered, about to fess up. And all out in the open now. Maybe, the purported person, has to be fictional . King–I have been as nasty to him as I can be and he will not GO AWAY. WHY?

    • Angela Ruzzo

      One of my college friends from Chicago had grandparents who were both Holocaust survivors, but they wouldn’t talk about it. I had another friend years later who was one of the troops that liberated Dachau. He had more to say, but after about 3 minutes he ran out of words and started clenching his fists, and he changed the subject. I had a friend in high school whose grandparents fled the Armenian holocaust, but they wouldn’t talk about it either.

      • LadyLaz

        it was BAD. I remember seeing some video shorts while in elementary school, so, like more than thirty years ago.

        An image of all the dead, piles and piles, is burned into my memory.

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          Here in Holland we are confronted with these images every day from about end of april till may 5th. It’s incredible we even have right wing people in this country.

          • Lord Jim

            I do not like to think that some people are irredeemably evil, but there seems to be some evidence for it.

          • george lastrapes

            Read about the Cox farm in Virginia. Some white farmers put up a sign decrying white supremacy, thereby becoming, in my view, superior white folks . White supremacy was vociferously defended by– inferior white folks.

          • george lastrapes

            It’s enough to make one feel the existence of evil. (Irony, not aimed at you!)

          • george lastrapes

            Where could I see these images?

        • Angela Ruzzo

          In 1962, when I was 6, there was a boring winter Sunday afternoon when there apparently weren’t any sports worth carrying on the local NBC station, so they ran a 30-minute documentary called “Night and Fog.” It is about the death camps, and it uses film taken in several different camps after they were liberated, with some Nazi footage and photos thrown in for good measure. I particularly remember footage of the ovens, with human bones inside them. My mother watched it with me, and at one point I asked her “Why did they do that?” and her answer was “I don’t know. Nobody knows.” I won’t forget that film. It was on Netflix recently, don’t know if they still carry it.

          • george lastrapes

            Horrible memories, but more horrible yet if we forget them. I shudder when I wonder how much of history is like that.

      • george lastrapes

        My dad, similarly. He’d try to explain and get angry and blocked. but he seemed to have many Jewish friends, to cultivate them,even- no survivors, that I recall, at least not in our home town.

    • cmd resistor

      I happened to be volunteering at my kid’s middle school library the day a holocaust survivor came and spoke to a class there. It was one of the most compelling things I ever heard. He goes around and speaks to school kids, which is a good thing. He only survived because someone told him to lie and say he was 16 instead of 13 because all the younger kids were automatically killed right away at the place his family was sent.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I’m guessing they kept some of the pretty 13-yr-old girls.

        • Miles Monroe

          Not to the degree one might think; Rassenschande (literally “racial shame”, “racial defilement”, or “racial pollution”) was a serious crime under the Nuremberg Laws, and those convicted could be sentenced to anything from concentration camp to death, although not surprisingly women were more likely to be charged than men.

          • Werewolf

            No, they kept the pretty ones for the SS brothels in the camps. “What happens in Ravensbrück, stays in Ravensbrück.”

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Yeah that is a very much shared story.

        • cmd resistor

          If I remember right he was the only one that made it from his family, parents and siblings.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Yes but a lot of young holocaust survivors were told to say they were older than they actually were. Just like lying about the profession the mastered.

      • Lord Jim

        At Auschwitz-Birkenau, kids diverted to Joseph Mengele’s chambers of horror were stood against a wall with a mark on it. If they did not come up to the mark in height, they were taken away to be gassed.

    • Werewolf

      I know a woman who just turned 91 this week. She was born in Slovakia, so she was one of the first to go to Auschwitz-Birkenau after it was expanded into a death camp (the Slovaks paid the Krauts to deport Jews from Slovakia). She and her sisters survived because they worked in the warehouse where inmates belongings were sorted, so they could hide food and whatnot. She married another survivor-they had three sons, all of them successful, and a whole bunch of grandkids, and now some great-grands. She won.

    • Ask 4 Data

      In the last 40 years, how many Dems have denied the Holocaust?

      In the last 40 years, how many Dems have had white nationalists marching in full and open supoort of them?

      In the last 40 years, how many Dems have been publicly supported by white nationalist?

      This is what I dont understand. Why is it that Israel is so warm to Republicans and dismissive of Dems?

  • FlemmishSpy

    OT – Sarah Huckabee Sanders: “infastructure”.

    • weejee

      She’s more corrosive than the deicers.

    • Tennessee Rain Genius

      I can’t listen to her. I cannot deal with how shabbily she treats reporters who ask her questions as if answering them isn’t her fucking job.

      • torturedsoul

        Her alter ego is nurse Rached.

  • weejee
    • OutOfOrbit

      and then what happened?

      • Very Stable Bozi

        He was out for an additional 2 minutes. Then he woke up.

        • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

          You do that, you go to the box, you know. Two minutes, by yourself, you know and you feel shame, you know. And then you get free.

          • It’s a professional version of the time-out chair.

          • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

            It’s funnier in a French-Canadian accent.

      • Skeptical_thinker

        A two minute minor for excessive stupidity.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Jeez. Act like you’ve been in the box before.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I saw a baton twirler do that once at a high school football half-time. She tried to walk between two trombone players with her baton and things went downhill from there.

    • Arolpin

      When I first looked at this, I thought the guy was in a Philadelphia Flyers jersey, so I laughed. Then I realized it was some minor league team, and I still laughed, just not as much. Yes, I cheered for the Patriots because I cheer against any Philly team harder than I cheer against any Boston team (RedSox excluded, because fuck those guys).

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Crap. Right! Yes… And that day I decided to change my career to engineering.

    • Shawn Charniga

      There is no wrong time to post a link to a clip of Hit Somebody:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufEtQcisrgg

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    If the FBI wasn’t so busy having to investigate the Clintons constantly, they would have had time to do a better investigation of Rob Porter.
    — someone on FOX News, probably.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      The DEEP STATE!!11! set EVERYBODY UP!!! And Susan Rice unmasked the abuse improperly on Hillary’s email servers!!111!111

  • yyyaz

    I’m going to complain to my cable provider about all the news channels. Instead of current events, all I’m seeing is some sort of Demented Kabuki theater. The actors’ lines all sound like English, but bear no relation to reality. Weird.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      “Demented Kabuki Theater”… *giggles*

      • OutOfOrbit

        your “giggles” gave me the *eggles*

  • Paperless Tiger

    Trump demands loyalty, but what he really means is that he wants you to be a fall guy. By now the pattern is pretty clear, so he’s having trouble even with his own appointees who might want to have a career after Trump. The FBI is his biggest problem, probably because they already know he’s going down.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Prediction for tomorrow:
    White House Personnel Security Office Contradicts Sanders’ Timeline

    followed by:

    “Look, y’all, I think I’ve been pretty clear. Nobody here in the White House saw any of that paperwork. John Kelly doesn’t like to pry into people’s personal lives. I don’t know why you guys are so obsessed with Rob Porter when the important thing is this letter from Pickle.”

    • GoutMachine

      Or: “Who’s Rob Porter? I think he maybe got coffee once?”

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        “We’re not even sure he ever met the Presnit.”

  • MynameisBlarney
    • eyelashviper

      Very punny.
      Just lobbed the link elsewhere, also too.

      • MynameisBlarney

        It’s very lob-worthy.

    • C.W. St. John Nobbs

      2 peanuts walked through a high crime area, one was left alone, but the other was a-salted.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Two guys are walking down the sidewalk, one of them walks into a bar, the other one ducks.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Olympic cat curling is so yesterday.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlCVE0OG-tI

  • Yellerduck

    And yet, no one will do anything. The White House has considered the facts, discarded the ones they don’t like, substituted their own version of reality, and now it’s time for the good ol’ U.S. of A to move on happily into the never-ending sunshine.

  • Michael Smith

    The Trump Administration’s initial response to the FBI’s report was probably “who fucking cares,” but they aren’t quite yet bold enough to say that openly.

    • cmd resistor

      That’s what I’ve been thinking all along, that they’d just think it was no big deal and that nothing would happen, either because domestic stuff was no big deal, or because rules didn’t apply to them, or a combination of both. Frankly, given the fucked-up-ness of the world, I am kind of pleasantly surprised it even is considered a deal at all, or at least that people are acting like it is in public, even though I suspect secretly a lot of assholes still are thinking who fucking cares, sadly.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        I think they thought nobody would find out.

        • and don’t forget that lyin bitches be lyin. has worked for the whole lot very well in the past.

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        When the boss openly discusses sexually assaulting women and is a well-known peeping Tom, serial cheater and all-around asshole to women, a black eye is nothing, I guess.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I’m STILL shocked that they did anything after the black eye pictures. It’s ALMOST like they understand that spousal abuse isn’t good.

  • Michael Smith

    “Miss Sanders, would you say that you have ‘binders full’ of FBI agents?”

  • I’m sure the reaction in the White House to the FBI report that Porter had beaten both of his wives was “So? It didn’t disqualify any of us!”

    • C.W. St. John Nobbs

      Apparently, the only thing Porter didn’t beat was the inevitable fall out.

  • PubOption
  • UncleTravelingMatt

    It’s kind of amazing that after a year, they still haven’t learned that someone is eventually going to ask their latest scapegoat if they are telling the truth.

  • george lastrapes

    I need to

    • Me too.

      • Ms. MLG on Maui

        Definitely

      • george lastrapes

        FUCK you whoer of Babylon and the Beast you rode in on and id that one or TWO horns you got tucked outa sight or can you tell me how to talk to the management, Dr Zoom or whoever, I think I’m getting pranked or worse or ??? Serious on this one.

        • Dude–chill. I was just replying to your incomplete posting.

          • The Only Cosmic Owl

            I suspect ‘chilling’ is something that one finds impossible.

          • NastyBossetti

            That escalated quickly.

          • eggs ackly-wright

            It’s just George doing his arga-warga.

          • george lastrapes

            Foul mood FOUL. I do need to get DokZoom or other. Can you help? I am actually cyclothymic like Carrie (sp?) on homeland and between cycles But still vulnerable. Willing/able to help?

          • george lastrapes

            Wudden you, wudden you, me just mad, I sorry, I promise, I really do.

        • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

          The easiest way to talk to the management is to click on the “Donate by PayPal” link, send them at least $5,000, and you’ll get a nice email from the Editrix where you can complain all day.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Prolly just a disqus hiccough.

          • george lastrapes

            Read

          • george lastrapes

            Displaced aggression. You can’t lash out at the cause of your anger so the next thing in your field of vision…. Hope sufficient apology has been delivered.

      • george lastrapes

        Well said, actually, brevity being the soul of wit! And the whore and beast thing was pretty good for momentaneous improvisation. If I do say so myself. And I do. Say that. Hint, hint.

  • the funniest detail of the story to me is that of all crappy tabloids, it was the Daily Fail who broke the story and for once it was based in reality and not made up or wildly hyperbolic.

    gee, it’s almost as though the all out assault on the media causes actual journalism to break out in the most unexpected places.

    • Shawn Charniga

      I’m reading Vanity Fair for the political coverage. That’s as bizarre as an aardvark reading Sports Illustrated.

      • puredog

        VF has often had very good articles for a long time. The Fail, however, is in an entirely different galaxy (from VF, us, truth, etc.).

        • Shawn Charniga

          So I see! I’m not ignorant of their relationship with Wolfe and others, but if you ever saw me, your first thought might be “No way in Hell that guy has ever read a fashion and lifestyle magazine.”

      • what a time to be alive.

  • eyelashviper

    Gopers so busy, MOAR tax cuts for rich dudes, MOAR moniez for tanks, screw everything else.

    https://cdn.creators.com/218/222387/222387_image.jpg

    • IMPOed

      SPLATTEE!!

      • eyelashviper

        He gets the Lead Medal, and a bed with traction, hopefully he’s got medical insurance..

        • OutOfOrbit

          medical ins? you mean Life Insurance

          • yyyaz

            Sorry, the Repuke Congress canceled his life insurance so they could send those moneys wasted on premiums to all the Kochroaches.

        • IMPOed

          HAAA!
          See that fly to the left, that is the 1% ready to lap up the remains!

  • Me_And_My_Arrow

    Wray isn’t telling me anything I already don’t know.

  • Miles Monroe
  • OneYieldRegular

    You know, I’m starting to get a little worried that if the White House didn’t act on information that one of their staffers abused his wives, they may not take decisive action when their boss brags about groping women and praises actual Nazis as “fine people.”

  • Anna Rompage

    Sounds like Wray is going to be going the way of Comey, and Flynn, and Rinsed Pubis, and Scaramucci, and Bannon, and Sean Lying Spice, all the other eleventy million people that have been let go from the Trump admin…

    • puredog

      Firing Wray on top of firing Comey might be more than Donnie wants to bite off. But I am often wrong.

  • eyelashviper

    Somebody’s already working on a very nice float for Cadet Bone Spurs’ upcoming military parade and Hoofwanking Festival.
    https://4cdn.hu/kraken/image/upload/s–2exEetGp–/w_1160/77Wot7qOv4AQ13oi0s.jpeg

    • GoutMachine

      That is amazing. Horrifying, but amazing.

      • Ask 4 Data

        Second…mostly amazing…ok not really, all amazing!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Rosenmontag is always good for some sharp German political commentary.

  • OutOfOrbit

    why surprise? they kept Flynn after learning that he was an active Russian spy so wife beater? Phfffft

    • ChumpsForTrump

      It’s hard to find enough active Russian spies to fill all the roles in the White House. You can’t just go firing them willy nilly.

  • Crystalclear12

    Wonder who is charge of maintaining the org chart for lies?

    • Gosala

      No one apparently

      • Crystalclear12

        They really need someone full time for that.

  • OrG

    Poot Lips, lying? Say it isn’t so.

  • proudgrampa

    I just do not know how that woman lives with herself.

    • Swampgas_Man

      On a big bed of money.

      • cmd resistor

        Speaking of money, Trump donated this quarter’s salary to DOT for “Infrastructure” today. Guess that is why Elaine Chao was there.

        • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

          Cancelled Check or GTFO.

        • eggs ackly-wright

          She was bringing the Good News. Rejoice!

        • HogeyeGrex

          So, like a tenth of what that Chinese bank that has taken up residency in Dump Tower pays him in any given month?

          • cmd resistor

            But his followers will tell you how selfless he is because of it.

          • HogeyeGrex

            “See? He can’t be bought! He doesn’t need the money!!!”

            Actually, it’s just that he’s working under contract to someone else.

    • OutOfOrbit

      no soul, it’s a Republican thing

    • Miles Monroe

      It’s easy, when you have a reptile brain.

  • The Only Cosmic Owl

    Sheeple.

    You elect a lying sack of shite, expect to be lied to all the time.

    Why would you expect anything different, really?

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      That the lying sacks of shite could at least be a little bit creative and original about it?

      • puredog

        Well, since SHS doesn’t speak for the president, per her, she is thus necessarily branching out and telling her OWN lies. That’s a little creative and original.

      • Meccalopolis

        You know, fore play

      • Lord Jim

        I prefer they not bother, myself.

  • C.W. St. John Nobbs

    Do you ever get the feeling that in her final press conference, SHS is just gonna walk up to the podium, shout “THE ARISTOCRATS!“. and walk off?
    https://media.giphy.com/media/26uf5MGga36zEH7cQ/giphy.gif

    • The Only Cosmic Owl

      Sarah has no sense of humor, actually.

      • Swampgas_Man

        A great sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humor.

        • puredog

          She inherited her sense of humor from her father.

    • therblig

      as long as it’s not preceded by huckabee family home movies.

    • laineypc

      Really can’t comprehend how anyone would take that particular job with this particular administration. Does it look good on your resume to have come out of it not in jail or an asylum?

  • Robert Victoria

    In number theory, zero isn’t always a counting number; so in theory a countless number could be zero agents, still leaving sanders as a lying blivet.

    • MynameisBlarney

      I was told there would be no maths.

      • The Only Cosmic Owl

        There is ALWAYS maths.

        • OutOfOrbit

          GTFO!

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Bullpucky! Whenever I bring up math{{{ZZOTT!!!1}}}

          fukc me

          • Lord Jim

            Engineers do math? Hunh… 😜

        • george lastrapes

          NO. There are always math. Panta rhei, after all, Classical Greek, university term, means ‘panty raid.’

        • eggs ackly-wright

          Just like geologies and chemistries.

      • OutOfOrbit

        IK, R?

    • george lastrapes

      By trying to demonize the woman, be sure you don’t womanize the demon. More guys get in trouble that way….

    • aureolaborealis

      This is the first time I’ve encountered ‘blivet’ in the wild in decades. Salute.

      • OutOfOrbit

        i thought blivets was a myth

    • puredog

      I didn’t know that poiuyt HAD a synonym.

    • FlemmishSpy

      Please replace your blivet.

  • BigCSouthside

    Since Poot lips’ credibility just got irrefutably shredded today, why does anyone attend her briefings?

    • OutOfOrbit

      for the hazard pay

    • The Only Cosmic Owl

      It isn’t optional at this point for news types.

      Hopefully, it soon will be.

    • I think they just should mute the feed and play the Yakety Sax instead. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnHmskwqCCQ

    • HogeyeGrex

      Today???

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      For the fashion and makeup.

  • BadKitty904

    OT: This is a brilliant idea – a New Deal for America’s youth..

    New Program Would Help Montana Teens Acquire Work Skills
    http://billingsgazette.com/business/proposal-guarantees-montana-high-school-grads-a-good-job-if/article_60267b75-9d51-5282-b4aa-f89dd7f1e12c.html

    Montanans have drawn up a plan to help every high school student after graduation perform meaningful service, gain work skills, and find placement in a good job. The “American Jobs for American Youth: A Montana Proposal to the Nation” plan focuses on helping teens acquire skills that are vital for a future workforce and on helping Montana develop and keep a skilled workforce in the state. For graduates who want to pursue higher education, there’s a component that helps make it more affordable.

    • puredog

      Any positions in Whitefish?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Only Missionary.

    • h4rr4r

      From that blurb it sounds like required unpaid internships.

      • FlemmishSpy

        That yacht isn’t going to detail itself.

        • yyyaz

          Plus there will be beaucoup, high-paying jerbs at the Bozeman Yacht Club for centuries to come.

      • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

        From which there’s no guarantee of employment, and they leave with the same level of experience as everyone else. Making them just as expendable as they were before in what is still very much an employer’s market.

        • h4rr4r

          But this time they got paid in experience!

          • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

            Aw shucks, I forgot experience was fungible AND edible!

      • BadKitty904

        The plan calls for “modest pay“, but doesn’t specify how much.

        • h4rr4r

          Yeah, so basically the same scam.

    • jowgajen

      No reason they couldn’t give kids volunteer opportunities and teach them job skills while they are still in high school. Just saying.

      • Lord Jim

        What about the HS kids who already ARE working jerbs? Do they get guaranteed employment? How do you GUARANTEE employment anyway? What KIND of employment?

        • WotsAllThisThen

          That’s easy. Just expand Trump’s deportation force. As long as you teach them to not have any empathy or morals, they can do the job.

    • Lord Jim

      Parents who can give their kids simple chores and responsibilities at a young age will teach them basic skills that will translate directly to the workplace, Susie Layton said. The learning and growing that then takes place once teenagers find a job will help them find the self confidence and sense of accomplishment they’ll need to be successful as adults, she said.

      And that can mean skipping a family trip or dropping out of an activity so that the teen has a chance to work.

      “Sometimes kids have to miss things and that’s real life,” Susie Layton said.

      Fuck family bonds. Kids have to be properly programmed to be obedient wage slaves for the good of our benevolent plutocratic overlords. Who never had to worry about a fucking job or missing a vacay because most of them inherited their wealth.

  • kaydenpat

    Lying must be a family value for Republicans because that’s all they do.

    • OutOfOrbit

      there is no such thing as a Republican with a soul

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    A novel theory I just heard: The White House is keeping the Porter story alive to keep people from talking about the video of Trump’s “hair.”

  • fawkedifiknow

    Sometimes you have very pretty women who have appalling taste in men. They can have a boyfriend who manhandles female reporters – not fazed by it. They can work for a pussy aficionado – pfft, means nada. They will go out with FBI investigated thugs – so what? Your name is, literally, Hope. It’s also Hick(s).

  • msanthropesmr

    I have come to the conclusion that one of these stories would be enough to bring down an administration. But not this one.

    • Resistor Radio

      This is not an administration. It is a clown car full of spite and cruel incompetence.

    • OutOfOrbit

      well good morning, Mr. Van Winkle

    • Blackest Noobs

      well normally when you have a functioning political party, yes, any of these stories ought to be the swan song for Trump, instead it’s gonna be the swan song for the entire fucking political party, see ya, Republicans, y’all are done.

  • Sending more $ to my Sen Wyden’s war chest…
    Right after more $ to my Wonkette

  • susan_g

    Fox News will soon breathlessly report that Colbie Holderness was recently spotted–without a black eye, so fake news.

  • eggs ackly-wright

    So there’s a White House Security Clearance Office? Who run dat?

    • Marion in Savannah

      They prolly got someone from Target who used to handle clearance sales. Same thing, right?

      • OutOfOrbit

        or a potty policeman

      • laineypc

        Target employee libelz!

        • Marion in Savannah

          Oh. I guess I didn’t make myself clear. I meant someone who had been FIRED from Target for not doing clearance sales properly. Sorry for the confusion.

    • Blackest Noobs

      SHS

      • ImGoingBacon

        Every time I see the initials ‘SHS’, I think of Senior High School. Which would be just about right.

    • Hemp Dogbane

      Jared.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Putin.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    SHS: I’m not answering the questions wrong, you’re not asking the questions right.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      Is she auditioning for another shitty version of I, Robot?

  • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

    If I were Sanders and the WH, I would frêt-à-Porter about now.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Nice one!

    • SineDie

      Multi-culti snark. Well done.

  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk
  • TimResistit

    OT-

    Are you fucking with me now, TPM? You are not The Onion, ya know.
    Dear god….

    Hannity Removes Post Alleging Secret Sperm Images Hidden In Obama Portrait

    https://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/hannity-removes-post-alleging-secret-sperm-images-hidden-in-obama-portrait

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      I saw it on the Tweeting machine. Both Hannity and Limbaugh. My first thought was “They’re sniffing glue again.”

      • gallbladder

        I think they’ve gone straight to eating it.

        • Hemp Dogbane

          Sniff glue. Eat paste. There is a protocol.

          • gallbladder

            Not where that lot is concerned.

          • Lord Jim

            Will no one think of the paint-thinner huffers? 😟

          • Rooster Cogburn105

            Damn, I’ve been doing it wrong all these years?

        • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

          After reading that story, I think they’re putting glue on their lead chips and sniffing those.

          • Rooster Cogburn105

            Timed release rectal suppository capsules for stable dosing

    • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

      OFFS. Hannity must have switched meds recently.

      ETA: Now that I have read the story, Hannity is mainlining 4Chan again. Still OFFS.

    • FlemmishSpy

      He want’s to horn in on Alex Jones’ market.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Hehe…

        He just wants to horn in on Alex Jones.

        • C.W. St. John Nobbs

          Now THAT is the stuff of nightmares. Worst idea for a porn parody EVER

          • MynameisBlarney

            Rule 34.

          • C.W. St. John Nobbs

            and it involves tin foil condoms, also too.

          • MynameisBlarney

            And bbq sauce.
            Gallons of it.

          • Annie Jomes

            That is an evil thing you just did there.

          • MynameisBlarney

            LOL

            Sorry, couldn’t help myself.

          • Rooster Cogburn105

            You’re evil

            I admire that in a person, from a safe distance

          • MynameisBlarney
          • Rooster Cogburn105

            Don’t judge, lest your biological research be judged

            And I’m a Biologist, with many years of research under my belt.

            If you’ll pardon the expression

          • C.W. St. John Nobbs

            Hahaha, ewwwww, hahaha

        • Rooster Cogburn105

          Offer him chill afterwards, he won’t remember a thing

    • OrdinaryJoe

      So a righter wing troll trolled the right wing trolls?

      • FlemmishSpy

        TFA says they read it on 4Chan.

      • Rooster Cogburn105

        It’s a Wingnuttia Ouroboros of trolling

    • Gosala

      I’ll be away for a while. Need to change my shirt.

  • TheGrandWazoo2
  • Ms. MLG on Maui

    Next you liberals will be trying to convince me 11 months is longer than 40 minutes.

    • gallbladder

      Well, now that you mentioned it…

      • Ms. MLG on Maui

        Here we go!

        • Gosala

          * Puts on hat *
          Where’re we going?

          • C.W. St. John Nobbs

            Would you mind picking up a 6 pack while you’re out? Thanks

          • Gosala

            * looks at flabby tummy *
            Are you mocking me?

    • Gosala

      unless you’re going very very fast

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Wasn’t there a Matthew McConaughey movie about this?

        • Gosala

          I dunno. I’m not up on popular culture.

        • Dutchman

          yes?

        • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

          Not yet…?

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      __________←This is 8 inches long.

      • Gosala

        And 239 pounds

        • WotsAllThisThen

          Also, not bald.

          • MynameisBlarney

            And in amazing health!

        • C.W. St. John Nobbs

          Maybe, like many famous people,Trump has a body double…that he sent to the Dr. in his place

      • Ms. MLG on Maui

        My chihuahua concurs!

    • george lastrapes

      If you’d said 40 minutes is longer than 11 months, I’d’ve said quit reading Dan Brown novels.

    • Bub, Secret Society zombie

      Under Trump, 11 minutes can seem like 40 months.

      • Ms. MLG on Maui

        Truly. A week feels like 2,000 years.

        • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

          We’re still in the Holocene epoch, right?

          • Dutchman

            Nah, we’re now firmly into the Anthropocene.

          • Gosala

            Dammit, shoulda read down!

          • puredog

            Anthropobscene.

          • eggs ackly-wright

            Obscene.

          • Daniel

            Hugassic.

          • Gosala

            Anthropocene

          • Ms. MLG on Maui

            Or are we moving backward? I don’t know.

    • Tennessee Rain Genius

      In Trump years, I’m 501.

      • Ms. MLG on Maui

        You still look good.

    • Lord Jim

      But since the Trump admin is moving at near the speed of light, it WOULD be longer. CHECKMATE LIBTARD!!!11!ONE!!

      • Ms. MLG on Maui

        Fast-forward to greatness!

        • Lord Jim

          Well played. I concede.

  • FlemmishSpy

    You can be sure two-scoops will be studying his form:

    JERUSALEM (AP) — Israeli police on Tuesday recommended that Benjamin
    Netanyahu be indicted in a pair of corruption cases, media reported, in
    an embarrassing blow to the embattled prime minister that is likely to
    fuel calls for him to step down.

    https://talkingpointsmemo.com/world-news/israeli-police-netanyahu-corruption-indictment-recommendation

    • C.W. St. John Nobbs

      You’ll be shocked to hear that Fox is not mentioning Bibi’s tribulations.

    • TJ Barke

      A corrupt rightwinger? No wai!

    • what a cheap bitch. 100 Grand? lol

      • Rooster Cogburn105

        Foreskin skim rule, 10% off the top

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Keep your ears open. I just heard that a NY federal judge just blasted the Admin and ordered DACA re-started.

  • laineypc

    Help us, Media, you’re our only hope!

    • Bub, Secret Society zombie
    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      That ship has sailed long time ago.

    • Lord Jim

      Chris Cillizza is in Alabama right now, polling Trumpanzees on MSM trust levels.

    • ImGoingBacon

      Not if Mr. Wednesday has a say.

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      “Trumps unconventional way of governance is redefining America in the 21st Century “ Now for a quick peek at the new pork rind delivery app from Apple and Amazon that’s redefining America’s snack habits”

  • MynameisBlarney

    OT, BUT EEEEW and LOL Shots fuckin fired!

    http://thehill.com/homenews/media/373637-piers-morgan-accuses-omarosa-of-offering-him-sex-to-win-celebrity-apprentice

    Piers Morgan accuses Omarosa of offering sex to win Celebrity Apprentice.

    • Daniel

      Then calls her a terrible human being.

      • Lord Jim

        Irony is dead, and we are reduced to desecrating the corpse.

        • Daniel

          He accused her of that too.

          • MynameisBlarney

            She’s a munter?

          • Daniel

            That’s what he’d call her.

          • Lord Jim

            Because, of course.

      • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

        “Why the hell was this vile creature ever employed at the White House?”

        Specifically BECAUSE of her offers? That, or it’s vile creatures all the way down.

        • Rooster Cogburn105

          That’s a statement that could use a little tightening up. Why are in the name of Cthulhu are any of these Insane Clown Posse rejects locked on the bridge as we hurtle towards destruction?

          I know, emails

    • C.W. St. John Nobbs

      Speaking of the English bint, is he still retweeting the picture of him tongue stabbing Trump’s arse?

      • Pisto75666

        Gosh, I’m such an old I remember when people kept their kinks to themselves.

        • Rooster Cogburn105

          “Nobody knows my secret, nobody shares my fun. I spread jelly on my belly, I spread jelly on my buns. Do you get hot with the bathroom locked? I cool my nerves with Mom’s preserves “

    • Pisto75666

      Oooh! It’s Terrible Person Deathmatch Battle! My new favorite thing!

    • hisssssss! meooooowwwwwww! windmilling to the death like Tracy and Olivia.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Also, too, I keep wanting to call her Amaroso.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Welcome to another episode of the Jerry Springer show- WH edition

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      Were there any takers or did she have to throw in breakfast?

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Just applied for quiting smoking using hypnosis. Anyone with experience?

    • Daniel

      I can’t say unless I’m instructed to.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        code word?

        • TundraGrifter

          Don’t show him the queen of diamonds.

          • Lord Jim

            “The matador! The matador!”

            Wait, what movie are we watching?

          • Daniel

            Ernest Hemingway’s Retelling of Half-Remembered Pushkin Stories, for men.

          • TundraGrifter

            Wthiskey! WTHISKEY!

      • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

        “Chicken snuggie.”

        *Stares into distance*
        “HYPNOSIS IS THE BEST TREATMENT YOU COULD EVER GET, I STATE YOUR NAME, HAVE BEEN FULLY CURED BY IT AND YOU SHOULD TOO. NOW REPEAT THIS TO EVERYONE. NO I DIDN’T MEAN TO REPEAT THAT LAST PART. NO. SHIT. LET ME START AGAIN.”

    • TundraGrifter

      My wife tried that and it was a miracle. One session and – poof! (or, this case, no puff!) and the urge evaporated. Three months later – no craving, no back sliding, no nothin’. Up in smoke – gone.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        That sounds great. Let’s hope this works for me as well.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        That’s awesome.

        • TundraGrifter

          I’ll say! My only regret is that she didn’t try it earlier. On the other hand, there’s a good chance that earlier she wasn’t ready. I have to conclude that’s a big part of it.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I have not done it, but talked to a therapist about it. Apparently it’s more like mindfully meditating on an issue for a while.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        I will see. Fully covered by my insurance so might as well try it.

        • Lord Jim

          Brag about having insurance, will ya?! :P

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Oh sorry that wasnt my point.

          • Gosala

            Well, watch it, will ya? It’s a sore point here in Shitholia.

          • Lord Jim

            I know. 😆

      • MynameisBlarney

        That works for damn near everything.

    • Gosala

      Didn’t work for me, but I’m stubborn, ornery and counterdependent.

      Good luck!!

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        thanks.

    • puredog

      A combo of hypnosis and one of the smoking cessation drugs, plus decreasing nicotine patches (I think? Maybe) did it for me, but it was not permanent, sadly.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        I quit for three years cold turkey and I dont want to go thru that once again ever. It was like getting off heroin but lasting fr 7 days instead of 48 hours.

        • puredog

          I think you have a duty to continue contributing to the patina on the inside of Amsterdam’s bistros.

        • Fire and Fury Demme

          My brother actually told me that it was easier to quit heroin(!) than cigarettes!
          You have my best wishes!

    • SineDie

      I went cold turkey 31 years ago. I had a great set of audio tapes by Patrick Reynolds (the Reynolds scion) and Dr Dwayne Dyer. The latter talked obly about what was pain smoking is. Creates “ash management problems” at parties, for example.

      Reynolds just kept hammering at one message: Just Do Whatever It Takes.

      3 days, 3 weeks and 3 months. Run your smokes under the tap. The urge to smoke lasts about 20 minutes.

      Don’t reward yourself for not smoking with cigarettes.

      I haven’t had or wanted a cigarette since then.

      Good luck!

    • Erala Contratista

      Have your SO give you flu.

      Worked great for the Contratisto. Never wanted to smoke again.

    • Snowbound Ron

      I have a friend who tried it. He did quit, and he’s stayed quit, but every time a bell rings he clucks like a chicken.

      • Petunia Cat

        Small price. Plus, free eggs. 😁🥚

  • Bub, Secret Society zombie
    • SineDie

      That’s Rachel Brand at the left.

      • cmd resistor

        Thought so.

    • BMW

      i’m ded.

    • Fire and Fury Demme

      Kush and Rachel look like deranged mannequins.

  • Poly_Ester

    Countless apparently means some number between zero and one.

    • John Thorstensen

      Well, there are countless irrational numbers between any two rational numbers.

      Maybe that’s the reason we have an irrational number in the White House!

  • MynameisBlarney

    So, looks like ol turmpy made another secret call to his bff last night.

    https://upload.democraticunderground.com/100210225154

    • redarmyzombie

      Pfft, when is he *not* talking to Vladdy-poo-poo?

  • Nephilim

    You have to be a pathological liar to work for President Snowflake. You have to believe you’re lies until the day you die or you would not be able to live with yourself. These are people with personality disorders which only makes since in order to work with a bigot, racist, sexist, elitist, and ignorant boss.

  • Bub, Secret Society zombie
    • Lord Jim

      The result of YEARS of courting lunatic interest groups for electoral gain. First, the racist southern Democrats, then the “evangelicals”, then the Teabaggers. Now the cart is pulling the horse.

      • Ask 4 Data

        ^^^poetic

      • Paul

        Something something horses’ asses.

    • P’jama Pahnts

      I think Jon Oliver did a whole show on how Trump just does shit that people assumed no president would ever do, so no laws were actually passed. Divesting his business interests was one of many examples.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • WhoCheckedRussia’sVoterID

    The White House, or any other public facing organization, doesn’t do shit because “The Media”. They run for cover because they start getting calls and emails and texts. Their donors start getting calls and emails and texts. Their PACs start getting calls and emails and texts. In essence, “The Money” starts getting calls and emails and texts.

    ….because the media lets “The People” know.

    • Ghoti theLinguist

      “Journalism is printing what the powerful do not want printed. Everything else is public relations.” (Attributed to George Orwell)

      • WhoCheckedRussia’sVoterID

        Amen to that, friend.

    • Paperless Tiger

      That’s why the so-called conservatives got their own news channel, which is really full-on propaganda, Fox News. In that case, what their viewers ‘know’ is dead wrong.

  • BMW

    You gotta love Trump-appointee on Trump-appointee violence.
    Trump on Trump-appointee violence, not so much.

  • jenny_whyme

    I read Ivanna’s depo when she divorced Trump..

    I think there might be at least one wife beater left in the White House. #justsaying

    • cmd resistor

      Someone dug up an old interview he gave where he said when he came home at 6 and dinner wasn’t ready he went through the roof. I believe it was like 1994, when married to Ivanna. He didn’t say he beat the crap out of her, though. He did say something about his friends whose wives took advantage should be a little more rough…..

      • (Nasty Girl) Brianna #RESIST

        Because of fucking COURSE Trump is the kind of Neanderthal that freaks out when his “little lady” isn’t waiting for him at precisely 6pm with a hot dinner, wearing a nice skirt and heels.

      • stablegeniusahughes798

        Like Ivana ever cooked him a meal. LOL! Chef was late in preparing the meal, but because he’s a douche rocket, he took it out on Ivana.

    • unclejeems

      Well, I guess the only up side to that (nah, not really) is that, maybe, those tiny hands couldn’t do much damage.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    I just hope those reporters will give SHS a chance to amend her previous statement. They are so unfair asking her a question they know she has to lie about!

    • wavicles

      a Mulligan?

      • Petunia Cat

        Every time someone gets a Mulligan someone else has to get a mullet. To balance out the universe. 😣☹️

  • cheetojeebus

    To be fair Chris Wray is way over qualified to be stating that Sanders, Kelly and Trump are fucking dirt bag liars who always fucking lie.

    • wavicles

      and still it’s allowed to continue.

  • rocktonsam

    Has anybody checked Mullvaney’s past fuckery ? He’s guilty of something.

    As long as your looking.

    • La forza del resistino

      He’s been trying to wash off those Jesuit teachings from Georgetown U. for years. Got to be cleansed to kick the poors w/o a guilty conscience.

  • La forza del resistino

    Poot Lips contends the FBI may have wrapped this up months ago, but the WH Personnel Office ( a guy named Chuck usually busy manning a leaf blower) is still looking into it.

  • JeanieBeanie

    How did Trump manage to get a clearance? That really confuses me.

    • jenny_whyme

      He got his from the electoral college..

      Let’s pretend for a moment that someone else won and were daft enough to hire Trump for some position in the White House. Trump wouldn’t pass a back ground check much less get any sort of security clearance.

      • La forza del resistino

        I’s a quirky Constitution where if you’re 35 and native born, you’re good to go. Let the voters ‘litigate’ your priors on your rap sheet. Hear this daily when any prior Donald transgression is brought up.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Trump couldn’t pass a urine test with the help of a couple of pee-hookers.

        • stablegeniusahughes798

          Trump couldn’t pass a urine test even if a couple of pee-hookers helped him…he’d test positive for cocaine.

    • cmd resistor

      He surely wouldn’t if he had to apply for one like everyone else.

    • Soda Seven

      His came in the form of a Mulligan straight from Jeebus!

    • Do we know for sure he has?

      • wavicles

        It comes with the position. (sobs)

  • BananasFlambé

    Career Staff at White House Personnel Security Office be like…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/aa05f3b5a0a88c6399e9881279bd334c541b33122fca2ddcf5953a3471812f8f.jpg

    …it’s funny becuz pee-tape…lolol…i made myself laff.

    • Mintie

      I saw something very similar on a Father’s Day card years ago. And yes, I absolutely did buy it and give it to my father.

    • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

      As an old, my two rules are as follows:

      1) Never pass a bathroom.
      2) Never trust a fart!

  • (Nasty Girl) Brianna #RESIST

    Soooo… will THIS be the straw that finally breaks the camel’s back? Is this the scandal that finally consumes the White House in a raging inferno and shows the world just how far they’re willing to go to protect one of their own?

    One can only hope.

    • Lambsendbeds

      No.

      • (Nasty Girl) Brianna #RESIST

        Sigh.

        • texcynical

          Well, if you never have a dream, how can you have a dream come true?

          • Zyxomma

            If you don’t talk happy, and you never have a dream,
            How you gonna have a dream come true?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahafuck

    • Wookie Monster

      Who knows? Maybe Paul Ryan will find his spine and tell Devin Nunes to sit down and shut up so the Intelligence Committee can conduct a real investigation into Russian interference while he drafts some articles of impeachment.

      Nah.

      • sarafina

        You’re such a dreamer, Wookie.

      • blaid droog

        There exists an array of invertebrates with more spine than that piece of shit would have if he had a steel rod shoved up his ass.

      • mailman27

        Not the Paul Ryan I know!

      • Petunia Cat

        Here’s what happens, Scott Walker is engulfed in some huge scandal and has to step down. I’m thinking it involves agriculture and money. And the B roll on all the news stories is some happy pigs. Then Paul Ryan has an exercise induced fatal heart arrhythmia. He’s gone. Governor gets to a point his successor. Who is the governor of Wisconsin now? Someone not involved in a pig scandal. This interim governor is a patriot and appoints a Never Trumper Republican who spent over 10 years being a federal prosecutor. And the impeachment begins.

        Of course if Ryan was gone the GOP would just make somebody else house leader. But don’t think about that!! Think about the fun hearings. 😌

      • girdyerloins

        If these people had spines, they’d never be able to get into all those jaw-dropping sexual positions we’ve all been hearing about and waiting breathlessly to see on pay-per-view.

    • sarafina

      There was that other speech writer who stepped out roughly 20 minutes after Porter that seems to have escaped all attention. So it’s a double straw!!!!

      • David Sorenson

      • Petunia Cat

        Who pulled his wife around by her hair on a boat in a remote area of Maine. Causing her to fear for her life. Because he thought she’d like to do some Stephen King cosplay I assume. 😩😩😩

    • Snarfyguy

      How many times have we asked that question?

      The weird thing is: why go to such great lengths to protect someone who’s essentially a flunky in the first place? They know Porter’s not the hill they’re going to die on, but why not just throw him under the bus like they do with everyone else and be done with it? Because it would by HYPOCRISY for Trump to break ranks with a woman-assaulter? Ha!

    • i would say probably…

      nope.

    • Maybe

      It might hurt him more with the white suburban female vote. He’s already losing that and he can’t afford to.

      Women are the majority in this country. It’s our government too and we need to claim what is ours.

      • Petunia Cat

        Trump will never run another election. 😊 I am totally right about this. RightyMcRighthead

        • Maybe

          Sigh. I don’t disagree, but then I thought he’d lose in 2016.

          • Petunia Cat

            🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼 🍊 🤡 🤮

          • Maybe

            The whole notion of ‘President’ Trump does leave one speechless.

    • mailman27

      Nah.

    • ez

      Nope.

    • Sakonyachen

      If it was to be the final straw, it would be hilarious, pleasing, and a bizarre turn of events all at once.

      Imagine history books having to dedicate a chapter to all the scandals that didn’t take them down, with a side note containing the one that did. Probably titled;

      “Though Horrific, Lower Tier Travesty Was the Death Rattle Of Trump Dynasty”

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Is anyone keeping a “scandals that would have scuttled any previous administration” count? Or do numbers not go high enough?

    • thixotropic jerk

      Yes we’re up to eleventy google and one I think…

    • anomie

      My calculations say that 1/83rd of the shit going on in the Trump admin would have brought down Obama at the hands of a pitchfork mob.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Come to think of it, we got yer pitchfork mob right here…

    • Pretty much if it is a day that ends in why, there is a scandal that would have scuttled any previous (at least, Democratic) administration.
      But I have the sinking feeling the GOP would still be screaming fake news so long as it is one of their own

  • FelineMama

    Rule # One of the Liars Club: Better start communicating. Unless your goal is to look like lying jerks, if so, carry on, then!!!!!

  • thixotropic jerk

    “Look Rob or Bob ‘Whatever-his-name’ didn’t do hardly nothin’ in the WH anyways he was barely anything m’kay? I think that’s an answer you guys can’t beat! -D’oh”
    -Lying Liar Suckafuckabee

    • Wookie Monster

      “He didn’t even get coffee like that Poppenfresh Guy.”

    • Enter Ranting

      Rob was just another coffee boy.

  • IdiotsforPalin
  • Wookie Monster

    I’m starting to get the impression that there are people working the White House who aren’t very good at their jobs.

  • Maybe

    The evidence that Porter physically abused his wife is overwhelming: two ex-wives on the record, an ex-girlfriend, a photo of abuse, a restraining orders, and a months-long FBI investigation that found cause not give Porter a security clearance.

    Porter denies it all. Which just proves that he would have been a blackmail target since he is willing to lie to keep what he did secret. That’s what blackmail is all about.

  • Zyxomma

    Lock. Them. Up. AOT, K.

  • Jeff Mobile Rob

    You’re killin’ me Evan!I can’t wait to read your story when Sarah’s career bites the dust.

    • HooverVilles

      Yes!

    • The sad thing is that given the Repugnants network of unthink tanks and sinecures, we’re going to be seeing SHS on the Sunday talking heads shows for years, like a slightly less smart, slightly less oily version of Stephanopoulos.

  • YouInDangerGirl!

    Okay, OT, maybe. Or at least peripheral. But: Remember how during the campaign, Trump and his supporters argued that Trump = great businessman AND government is kinda like a business if you squint and ignore the fact that it’s not at all like business and Trump = great businessman therefore = great President? That little syllogism that is in no way flawed and (besides fomenting hate and fear) the major principle upon which he based his candidacy? Everyone knew it was bullshit in every way, but that’s what people who voted for him said was the reason they voted for him (and not because brown people).

    So, I guess you could argue about whether or not he’s lazy, illiterate, uncurious, unserious, crazy, the worst contemporary example of humanity, what have you. And plenty of sociopathic dipshits have been capable administrators. But you can’t cry “fake news” at the turnover in his administration in the first year alone. Nor the missed deadlines, the constant legislative crises, the leaks, the risky debt he’s taken on, the constant misspellings in PR materials, the tarnishing of the brand, the nosedive in public respect for The President Company, Inc. If America were a business, he’d have been out on his ass 6 months ago. Never mind the tweeting and the Russia and the lack of decency. Why doesn’t anyone point this out to the Trumpistas who once put so much stock the business model of governance? You can’t claim that staff who are gone are not gone. You can’t claim that deadlines weren’t missed, that the government didn’t shut down twice, that Bush Jr. and Bush and Reagan couldn’t at least run the fucking machine.

    • it’s neither OT nor peripheral. it’s the centerpiece of Trumpism. the key here is a complicit/enabling Congress and electorate.

      • Complicit? Fuck man, it is their dream! He distracts us all from the shit they are doing to us daily!

      • mailman27

        Totally ON topic. We are deep in the weeds.

    • Mike Steele

      Re: selling his business acumen…have said it before – Trump is
      poor man’s idea of a rich man
      failure’s idea of a success
      stupid person’s idea of a smart guy
      loser’s idea of a winner
      Most of us knew this going in. The rest don’t read, so missed his-story. SAD!

    • Walter Wellstone

      The Trumpistas don’t care. It’s not about competency. It’s about trolling the left. The stupider Donald is the more it upsets us and the more they like that. You think Donald is dense? His supporters are worse. They’re the real morons.

    • OppressedMass

      The average Trump voter doesn’t KNOW this about Trump – that he’s an incompetent loser. They saw him on TV being successful so he MUST be a really good businessman, right?

      Part of this is willful ignorance, which they’re very good at – their lives depend on willful ignorance of themselves and everyone around them. But it’s also real incapacity: they really are just that stupid.

  • blaid droog

    In the past I knew bunches of fellow students, male and female that would gather in someone’s apt and watch soap operas. More than once I would point out that the best soap going was Watergate. Nobody wanted to watch that one. The current national soap opera couldn’t be created by a team of writers. It would be too unbelievable to create suspension of disbelief. If our current political reality were a novel, no one would buy it because it would be too incredible to be believed.

    • Trumpsters_are_fools

      huh, in a small town in MN my gang of students could not get enough of the hearings

      • Petunia Cat

        The TRUMP impeachment hearings should be going on RIGHT NOW! And would be if not for the collusion with the Russia conspiracy by the congressional Republicans.

    • I’d be ok, however, if a few of the characters were to be abducted by aliens or slip into a vote-ma

    • Mike Steele

      In those days, Lady MS was a paragon of stamina. Worked 48 hrs/wk managing front desk of dntn hotel, partied like a beast after 3:30-midnight shift, went home to watch wall-to-wall Watergate hearing reruns overnight, then took an a.m. course in Constitutional Law. Never felt more alive. Feel the same way now, only w/o the job/party schedule. Contemplating spring courses and relentlessly following Guccifer 2.0: Democracy Dies in Dumbness, but am rapidly running out of steam, as getting old ain’t for sissies. RIght you r, blaid; better than the soaps!

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Wonkette is my favorite channel for this show.

  • Leftflank

    It means more coming from a guy like Wray, but come on, everyone knows, the dog knows ffs.

    Sarah Huckabee’s job is to lie and John Kelly’s job is to make all the liars lie more calmly and to help make his lies seem more ‘serious’.

    Yeah they’re lying dicks-I’m not lying.

    • mailman27

      Kelly’s an “adult” liar.

      • Leftflank

        Makes it worse. He knows better.
        Plus he’s a ‘military’ man that is supposed to be above ‘white lies’.

      • Donna Mueller

        and smelly-ann is an alternative liar.

      • jenny_whyme

        But he’s really not very good at it.. because you should never lie about something so easily disproved by that video on youtube.

  • MasRioBravoHombre

    Not many people know about it, but in the Bible, there’s a “List of Shit That God Says Sucks Very Much”. Turns out there’s 10 things that God gets really worked up about; LYING is one of them.

  • mailman27

    They’ll need to bring in fire hoses to wash the stink out of this White House.

    • girdyerloins

      Might be cheaper to just burn it to the ground and build another….
      Or, maybe, borrow a page from the Ukrainians, and erect a sarcophagus over it, like the one at Chernobyl. Then charge admission, in order to fund correction of all the chicaneries these clowns have committed.
      The current administration is like an industrial-grade infestation of lice.

  • Delu

    Impeachment proceedings are already underway over this! We’ll impeach that President O…

    ….oh wait, it’s President Trump now. Well never mind then!

  • Monica

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  • Manhattan123

    Even with all the practice they have at it, these clowns can’t even lie good.

    • DrBigHead

      They make up for quality with quantity.

    • Widdle Kim

      If they cleaned the shit out of their ears they might be able to hear each other. Its a good idea to do so when everyone is trying the deflect. Be consistent in your bullshit.

    • Niblick

      lie well..they can’t lie well

  • Xylem

    Anyone who can be bribed with a platter of meatball sandwiches should be ineligible for secret intelligence clearance.

  • John McLaughlin

    Sarah is a master liar but the whoppers that the Trump administration serves up to us even give her fits.

  • Niblick

    It’s not just the quantity of the lies…it’s the quality.

  • akita96th

    Trumps ordained Dick squad of pud pullers suk really bad at their jobs…All they go to do is lie…repeat the lie follow up with a lie and just lie lie lie…and yet they cant even do that right…so much for the bestest peoples..But Sara never met a turkey leg dripping with yumy grease gravy she could resist.,

  • george lastrapes

    Night night, Nears and dears, too tired to continue. where’d you go, King, protecting the frontier,as usual, but I’ve missed you, truly have. see you tomorrow? Dog tired 2-nite, so nite-all, esp to Maybe & King.

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