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Morning Wonketariat! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today, but first, BUNNIES!

Trump’s budget amputates large portions of the social safety net, cutting billions from food stamps, Medicare and Section 8. There’s no joke here, this is just awful.

Aside from cutting $4.4 trillion, Trump’s budget adds $7 trillion to the deficit, much of it going to the military and and his wall. It’s a good thing too, we’re going to need soldiers when the homeless people start rioting for food.

Steve Inskeep will be fighting Big Bird for table scraps if Trump’s budget passes, as NPR, the National Endowments for the Arts and Humanities, and the Corporation for Public Broadcasting are facing hundreds of millions in cuts. Again.

Uncle Trump is also snatching the coin purses from retiring and retired federal workers by slashing benefits, pay and bonus plans designed to attract and retain career civil servants.

An environmental group is screaming that grifty bastard and Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke is “completely bypassing Senate confirmation” by installing people to run federal agencies well past their interim status. It’s an entire government of temps.

The revolving door on Trump’s White House has seen more people come and go than any in recent history. When asked for comment, REXXON noted that he’s “still here.”

A new report details more serious violations of the Emoluments Clause at Trump Tower in New York, where the Chinese government leases space for a government-controlled bank.

Betsy DeVos has instructed the Department of Education to tell trans to kids to make a safe space in the bushes if they have to pee so bad.

The Senate Judiciary Committee has recommended Kurt Engelhardt for the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals, the same lady-hatin’ judge who dropped convictions on cops found guilty of covering up their murder of unarmed black folks after Hurricane Katrina.

Republicans are worried that a Blue Wave could flood the Senate in 2018, and that has Bob Corker reconsidering his retirement.

Florida man and disgraced former Congressman Alan Grayson wants to run for office again, but he’s not sure where.

Devin Nunes has been hauling in a lot of Silicon Valley money from a right-wing tech company that picked up former Trump White House intel aide Ezra Cohen-Watnick, the same guy who told him about the unmasking of Mike Flynn.

Oklahoma is so financially fucked from years of conservative tax cuts that it’s on the verge of collapse; now the Republican super majority is balking at raising revenues from the oil and gas companies, preferring a Trump-style raise on taxes for the poor.

A candidate running for West Virginia’s state House was ejected from a public hearing after she tried to read the names of representatives who’ve taken thousands from oil and gas lobbyists. The nerve of some people!

A member of Virginia’s Republican central committee is being told to take a hike after he posted an anti-semitic rant on Facebook urging Jews not to run for office.

Two Baltimore cops have been found guilty in federal court of racketeering, conspiracy and robbery after six other cops and a couple drug dealers detailed how the cops ripped people off, set up a protection scheme, and sold drugs. [Archive]

A gay teacher gay married her gay partner in a lovely beach ceremony that was posted on social media. Unfortunately she was fired after the Catholic school she worked at found out she was having homo lady sex.

A Pennsylvania town has elected a registered sex offender convicted of having sex with a four-year-old girl as fire chief. The town mayor noted, “I support the fire department and their decision to have him as chief…We don’t question their decisions.”

Rep. Mike Turner wants Rep. Darrell Issa deposed for his divorce from his super rich lobbyist wife after claims she “may have” talked about banging other people to “third parties.” Interesting…

Open up a new tab and read Colbie Holderness’s op-ed about what it’s like to be Rob Porter’s battered spouse.

Here’s a profile on the Russian pee hooker who was banging a few of the Russian oligarchs involved in Trump-Russia.

Trump’s personal lawyer Michael Cohen is shopping a book about Trump’s ALLEGED Forbes-fueled fuck fest with Stormy Daniels as a rebuttal to all the other Trump books hitting the shelves lately.

Syria’s civil war has now dragged its neighbors in after several downed aircraft have forced Russia, the US, Turkey, Israel and Iranian-backed forces into clashes that threaten to spill over the Syrian borders.

A bunch of readers asked the New York Times to explain what’s going on with Trump-Russia, and the ramifications of more indictments. Their response: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Gun manufacturer Remington has filed for bankruptcy after gun fetishists stopped buying boom sticks. Clearly this is a liberal conspiracy orchestrated by Killary and her secret pizza cabal.

And here’s your morning Nice Time! BABY WHITE RHINO!

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  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
    • Very Stable Bozi

      While my pancake gently weeps…

    • OneYieldRegular

      So the trick is to remove the middle plate without getting syrup on the book?

    • cheetojeebus

      Oh….fuck. Fuck. FUCK. f u c k.

    • Unhappy Fingers

      I just waved my blood glucose meter in front of this picture and it exploded.

  • Nounverb911
    • Impatient

      One of my favorites. Mesmerizing and relaxing. (Though appetite inducing.)

      Thanks.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Fuck.

    That is all.

  • Nounverb911
  • Martini A, very stable genius

    Holy shit—after reading about the rape of a 4-yr-old, I think I’m going to go back to bed and pretend today never happened.

  • Very Stable Bozi

    “Two Baltimore cops have been found guilty in federal court of racketeering, conspiracy and robbery”

    I see presidential pardons and future appointments to the tRump administration.

  • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

    If Trump has his way, we’ll soon be eating those bunnies!

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Maybe if NPR sucks Trump’s ass a little more, he’ll give them a cookie.

    • teele

      I don’t know, Steve Inskeep already has his head so far up the Doltard’s ass, he is going for his throat from the opposite direction.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Don’t think for a minute that you’re fooling me with that baby rhino “snow” video. Everyone can plainly see from the rhino’s behavior that those are piles of cocaine.

    • Longstreet63

      Say hello to his big friend in the background…

    • Tennessee Rain Genius

      Is that for real? Please let it be for real!

  • Nounverb911

    Omarosa thinks pence is scarier than trump…
    https://twitter.com/BuzzFeedNews/status/963399720256376833

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      And you’d still be pimping for these dickheads if they hadn’t run your ass off like fired kitchen help.

      • Ω cynmac asks for your excuse?

        What did the spokesperson pinhead say? “She was fired from The Apprentice three times and we fired her from the WH too”?

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          As much as I loathe a shameless grifter like Omarosa, I was disturbed by the way she was dismissed from the White House and all the leaked “uppity Negro” stories snickering about what she did when she was there and what she tried to do when she left. They NEVER would’ve said that about a white person or a man.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Mother whispers in the darkness & Mikey say, “Is that you, god?”
      “Yes, my child.”
      “What is they bidding?”

    • kareemachan

      This might be true, but she’s trying to keep herself in the public eye. Desperately trying.

      • Impatient

        Websters’ gives one example for “attention whore”: Omarosa.

        Sad. Mouthy, but Sad.

        • Ω cynmac asks for your excuse?

          Picture is there also too.

    • dslindc

      Oma-who now? Not sure who that is. Probably some Z-list fame whore.

      • PubOption

        Prosperity Gospel preacher, I think.

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          And not a very good one.

    • Longstreet63

      She’s right about everything except the begging for Trump part.
      As good by comparison as W looks, I’m not begging for his return. I’m holding out for some competent administrator, preferably one elected by a majority and not committed to the destruction of our society.
      Too much to ask?

      • Marion in Savannah

        Apparently yes.

    • From Russia with Love

      He’s right. But it’s Jesus Gutierrez.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I’ll take her word for it, but I’m not generally looking to Omarosa for political guidance. Or, really, guidance on anything, unless perhaps I decide to go full-on fame whore.

    • therblig

      poor assaroma.

  • Nounverb911

    Stephen King it’s the nail on the head….

    https://twitter.com/StephenKing/status/963400764944207873

    • FlemmishSpy

      His writing is horrifying stuff.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        And yet somehow more comforting than the present reality. Odd.

        • Impatient

          I really hate/avoid watching horror movies. Don’t need more terror and sudden scares in my life.

          But you make a good point. Maybe I should avoid the news for a day, and just go see “It.”

      • Opiwan

        IT was less horrifying than what’s going on now… and also had a “happy” ending

  • ManchuCandidate

    Fucking Politico. In talking about the fucked up Tenn GOPer senate primary, they forgot why only popular among the GOPer leadershit Marsha Marsha Marsha Blackburn is the most hated GOPer of all in a state that takes pride in fucking itself with votes… Net Neutrality.

    Blackburn is the queen of the anti-Net Neutrality which is not supported by even GOPers. If Ajit Pai is the male joker then Marsha is the female joker.

    • Marsha Blackburn is just a bad person. No analogy needed.

      • bupkus231

        That’s the only reason I would look with favor on Bob Corker rescinding his decision not to run for re-election. Supposedly his announcement a coupla months ago encouraged Blackburn to enter the race to take his place. There’s already a slew of GOPpers looking to run for hear House seat, so perhaps she can lose the primary to Corker, then lose her House seat, too. ( Don’t know if Tenn has a “sore loser” law, preventing Blackburn from running for her House seat if she loses the Senate primary – but it sure would be a good way to get rid of her ass ).

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I’m so torn about the news this morning. ON the one hand, the repukes seem like terrorists, determined to destroy America. ON the other hand, they seem like a cancer, slowly eating everything that’s good in America and replacing it with tumors and the need for long-term treatment that will weaken the country and may be too late anyway.
    Decisions, decisions.

    • grindstone

      What I don’t get, what I truly don’t get, is all the people who rabidly fall in line behind the conservative right wing bullshit, guns, and bibles, who are going to be affected DIRECTLY by these policies, and in a negative way. Do they think all the Mexicans are going to quietly melt back over the border? Do they think high paying jobs are going to come along and hire their ignorant asses? Do they think their property taxes and rents aren’t going to go up, along with food and gas prices? They are shooting themselves in the foot, pausing to reload, shooting the other foot, and then realizing they have no. fucking. health. care.

      • From Russia with Love

        Nor legs to stand on.

        • grindstone

          ISWYDT.

  • coozledad

    The Republicans where I live are trying to work around raising property taxes by 1. Cutting funding to the volunteer fire departments and 2. Implementing a regressive sales tax, so the boat trash around Hyco lake won’t have to pay more for their vacation properties.

    Shit don’t stink and fire don’t burn if you’re a Republican jet ski douche. It’s one big white trash fuck party up around that lake, and they own the three of the county commissioners.

  • Please bring on more bunnies and snow rhinos and lots more Nice Time. We really need it, because it’s only FUCKING TUESDAY.

  • Nounverb911
    • dslindc

      It doesn’t say, “Merry Christmas” written in Jesus’ blood. BOYCOTT!

      • MynameisBlarney

        BOYCOTT BY BUYING THEIR PRODUCT AND THROWING IT OUT!

        • From Russia with Love

          smrt!

        • OneYieldRegular

          That worked so, so well with expensive bottles of Bordeaux leading up to the Iraq invasion.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I want that cup.

  • Hey guys, have you always wanted to live in the gilded age?

    No silly, no Gatsby parties for you!

    How about all your relatives crammed into your tiny house instead?!?!? How about dying (more) at work, from your poorly monitored food, or lack of medical care! It can all be yours with Trump’s budget!

    Paradise!

    • Longstreet63

      Selling contaminated food is free speech, constitution hater!

      • I read about the exchange of foodstamp benefits for a box of food. All the shit in there the people on food stamps already buy and I’m sure for a lot less! What kind of weird ass nightmare am I in?

        The world must have ended in 2012 because this isn’t real life!

        • aureolaborealis

          Methinks there is a contractor closely associated with the Trumps who is looking at extracting profit where once there was none.

  • James Baskin

    No gay teachers, but alter boy loving priests are AOK.

  • Harry Nuggets

    If there are any get ready for Erik Prince, a true patriot if there ever was one, to scurry out of the corner and offer his private army to help keep the peace.

    • teele

      No worries about privatization. ICE is being groomed as the Imperial Guard.

  • Impatient

    $237 billion in Medicare cuts over 10 years. Our budget office worked with OMB, to insert such a ‘savings’ wedge in Medicare payments, in every year’s federal budget. One might say this is “just” the regular reduction in the Medicare outlay growth rate that has to be regularly inserted, to keep outlay growth down toward the lower Medicare income growth slope.

    Slashing less well-funded social welfare programs, that lack a strong constituency? E-V-I-L. (Or just R-E-P-U-B-L-I-C-A-N.)

    • kareemachan

      Both.

    • FlemmishSpy

      People may die in the streets, but they’ll die knowing they’re defended by the world’s most powerful military.

      • therblig

        and that their second amendment rights are intact.

      • aureolaborealis

        More likely dying in the streets at the hands of the world’s most powerful military, which will defending the plutocrats.

  • ManchuCandidate

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grbSQ6O6kbs

    About the only industry of growth in Trump’s US Amercia will be the guys with “The Bring Out Yer Dead” Carts.

    • Longstreet63

      It will be more than nine pence, though, as it will be contracted on a cost plus basis to someone from Montana.

  • IdiokraticKulturKommissar
  • armed_bears

    More bunnies, rhinos and Chloe Kim.

    Less Trump, child rape and Pence.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6b8ddaf9b4a7c789c56a7c893c07942f81976bf014f98dfd67dbd0205b303da8.jpg

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      She was only awarded that medal because the judges gave in to the liberal tyranny of “diversity”. The rightful winner was probably Norwegian.

      • MynameisBlarney

        *Normegian

      • John Thorstensen

        And her parents were immigrants! Some of them, I assume, are good people.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Fucking immigrants. They take all the gold medals that white people used to get.

          • From Russia with Love

            When they’re not taking a fucking knee.

    • renegade500

      That Chloe Kim was a real firecracker last night!

      • Gayer Than Thou

        I read the Failing New York Times article on why what she did was so great, but I was a little bit confused. Every year, the media try to explain what it is that the athletes are doing that’s so special, and every year the media do a terrible job of making it comprehensible (saw a Vox ‘splainer on the triple axel that told me nothing). I think about this when it comes to the media trying to explain what is happening to us in the larger sense.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Longstreet63

    It’s definitely time for the next Winter Olympics to include some rhino-based snow sports.

  • Werewolf

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=L1fBDVNn1pU
    Laissez les bon temps rouléz!

    • Tennessee Rain Genius

      Thank you for reminding me that today is Fat Tuesday!

  • Nounverb911
  • Martini A, very stable genius

    I feel like this sort of stunt should be illegal. Maybe it is, but in our new reality, it won’t be prosecuted. Fucking Roger Stone belongs in jail.
    https://twitter.com/RVAwonk/status/963403783203155975?ref_src=twcamp%5Eshare%7Ctwsrc%5Em5%7Ctwgr%5Eemail%7Ctwcon%5E7046%7Ctwterm%5E3

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I’d like to take a moment this morning to thank the repukes and Cult 45 for destroying my pride in this country. Yesterday I was watching the Olympics gold-medal ceremony and listening to the anthem, and for the first time in my life that i can remember, I was not only not filled with emotion, I felt almost sick.

  • ginmar

    “Having sex with a four-year-old” does not exist. That is rape.

  • renegade500

    Damn. I love babby rhinos more than anything, esp when they’re playing in the snow! But I’m having a hard time enjoying babby snow rhino after reading the above. The budget – jeebus, how many ways can our government fuck over our most vulnerable citizens? It just gets more depraved every day.

    And the PA major saying we don’t question the fire dept’s decision? Really? You don’t think it appropriate to even look askance, much less flat out question the decision-making of a body who would elect a man who raped (not had sex with, that implies consent) a toddler?!?!?!?!?! When exactly would you consider questioning a group’s decisions if not then? I’m really curious.

    Oh Christ, I’m already at work, and all this news makes me want to do is crawl into a hole until it stops.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      That mayor might want to think about the legal liability for the town.

    • LadyLaz

      Worse. She said she doesn’t understand why the mother won’t drop it.

      I have to elementary aged children. If that was my kid, that man wouldn’t be walking…. and not with votes.

      • renegade500

        I don’t have kids, but I’m a decent human being, and although at heart I am an anti-capital-punishment-pacificist hippy, *some* people just need killing. (And in Texas, that would be a valid defense.)

        • Historicat

          Killing? Forget killing. Like Westley says in The Princess Bride, “to the Pain”

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Even if it wasn’t my kid; if he showed up at a fire at my house, he’d have trouble walking afterwards.

  • DrBigHead

    Anyone else look at the photo of the Rhino and think about Scarface?

  • JohnBull

    Good thing I can still deduct teacher expenses (no thanks Paul Ryan, and fuck you with a dull, syphilis-infected knife). I’ll need that extra $250 to spend on granola bars and fruit cups when my kids don’t get school breakfasts anymore.

  • Nounverb911
    • Nooooo, not my beloved Grover!

      He’s been contaminated by bleach blonde hate!

    • janecita

      That Muppet on the right looks like a psycho.

  • Asterix

    As if today were not bad enough, I get to read about the rapist of a four year old being elected as fire chief. I hate this world so much I’m rage-stabby. Not with votes.

  • BadKitty904

    So, “bread and circuses,” but without the “circuses” (aside from the Republican Congress)…

    • Dutchman

      Also too, without the bread apparently.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        ‘Let them eat those cakes we like.’

      • Longstreet63

        Don’t sweat it. They’ll be changing the legal definition of “Bread” before long, anyway, to increase profitability. Sawdust is cheaper than wheat, you know.

  • Dutchman

    So, Hair Fuhrer and Sonny “Pray for Rain” Perdue have come up with a new SNAP alternative. Guess we’re about to see a lot more Gubment Cheese.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cf1f2bc74aaa787a8dc5d19a2bf393148f35fc0ea3e3c01c1d06316b8e3fb866.jpg

    • Nounverb911

      What’s the ‘half-life’ of that stuff?

      • Dutchman

        Roughly equal to Uranium 238 if I recall correctly.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        It’ll outlast the Universe.

        • Nounverb911

          So the same as Twinkies?

      • hudson

        dunno, but you can keep it under the refrigerator, prolly.

      • Skeptical_thinker

        i’m more interesting the the LD-50. I may end up eating that stuff, again, one day.

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          Yeah you right. Might want to know the LD-1 just in case.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      …then no one outside the U.S. knows what it’s like to be poor, I guess?

      • ViveLaResistance!

        *Offer not valid in NotAmerica.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      By the fine folks who bring you Elmer’s Glue-All.

    • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

      That was some damn fine cheese, tbh.

      • Old town Urbandale

        For the people insinuating it was Velveeta, it wasn’t. While it wasn’t the finest Vermont-made aged three years cheddar, it made some pretty good mac and cheese. And grilled cheese sammiches, with the bread well-coated with free commodity butter. And since it was laced with birth control chemicals, it kept us poors from breeding!

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          Nothing like commodity cheese in a commodity utter slathered grill cheese samich.
          I worked in a clinic in the Housing Projects. A little old lady would trade 4ounces of here cheese to me for a pint on gin.

        • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

          We had American cheese, not cheddar (more’s the pity) – but, REAL American cheese, not the sliced stuff in the plastic wrappers I grew up with. Prior to these blocks of wonderment, I had no idea there even was such a thing.

          • Old town Urbandale

            Yeah, come to think of it, we usually had American as well, but got cheddar a couple times. My now-ex made incredibly good yeast rolls, which were absolutely decadent with the free butter. I was always hoping some month we’d get one of those five-pound cans of peanut butter like they had on all the dining hall tables at Scout camp, but no such luck.

      • Dutchman

        Yes, indeed. We would sometimes trade vegetables from our farm for Gubment cheese. Made excellent grilled cheese sammiches…

      • SweetDeeKat

        Was this from the commodities handouts in the 80s or years earlier?

        • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

          80s. I actually got at least some of it via elderly relatives, cause no way were my grandma and two great aunts going to eat fifteen pounds of cheese.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Government Cheese makes the best grilled cheese samitches.

    • Ω cynmac asks for your excuse?

      My GM and her sisters got some of these and shared.

  • Uncle Zor

    Oh jesus, what a day. You know it’s going to be bad when there are bunny videos at the top.

    • renegade500

      I like it when Dominic gives us extra nice times, but I also fear it because you know that what’s coming is extra grim.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Rhino puppy!

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Take it from me – they grow out of it.

      • Marion in Savannah

        We know. And they’re short-sighted and bad tempered into the bargain. But all babby animals are cute. For a little while at least.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          So, you’re saying cute babby hippos grow up to be Republicans?

          • Mr Canoehead, Porg Griller

            Except for the RINOs.

  • BadKitty904
    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Maybe if it was shaped like a full beer mug…

    • From Russia with Love

      I bet it’s really buttholes from pigs or something.

      • OrG

        Or… Vegan Babby Buttholes.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Penis-shaped chicken? I’m listening…

      • BadKitty904

        I’ve never been into twinks, myownself…

    • Ω cynmac asks for your excuse?

      Soylent Green Libelz!1!11!

  • Uncle Zor
  • rosenbomb

    As the social safety net gets dismantled, I predict more and more wealthy folks will step in to provide necessary programs. “Need medical care? Enroll in BezosCare™!”

    The GOP will embrace this policy, claiming that it’s good for business. They will give huge tax incentives to the companies for providing services, and the companies will give them big dollars to keep those incentives coming. All the money stays where they want it: with them and their enablers. And the people are completely powerless, because the company providing the service is not beholden to anyone besides their shareholders. We already see this model in practice, but I think the long-game is to make everything privatized– SNAP, TANF, WIC– you name it. I hope I’m wrong, though.

    • From Russia with Love

      When can we simply begin purchasing the indigent? And no, I have not been reading Johnathan Swift.

      • The Only Cosmic Owl

        So, you prefer a far more immodest proposal, I take it.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Hey, a few bucks and a six-pack, I’m all yours, amigo.

        • From Russia with Love

          Now I haz a sad.

    • kareemachan

      The problem is that they’ll give the contracts to incompetents like that bitch supplying meals for Puerto Rico….

    • cmd resistor

      LIke those food boxes.

  • La forza del resistino

    As former public servant wannabe 2012 Mitt said ‘I’m going to stop the subsidy to PBS. I’m going to stop other things. I like PBS, I love Big Bird. but there will be commercials.’
    Didn’t fly then won’t fly now. Big Bird is firmly grounded.

  • OrG

    A government staffed by temps. Brilliant.

    • Actually, that was Dok.

    • MynameisBlarney

      I just don’t have the words to properly describe my anger at the moment.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    10 points for “Forbes-fueled fuck fest”, Dominic. Bravo.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    Rhino babby!

  • LadyLaz

    Now I know why I couldn’t get up this morning….

    • Parakeetist

      Shh, go back to bed.

  • BigCSouthside

    I look forward to The Hunger Games

    • janecita

      My daughter would kick ass in the hunger games, my son would get killed in a NY minute.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Well, I hunted deer and elk as a young person… I guess I could get my hunting rifle back from my nephew. But most of our deer and elk are infected with Chronic Wasting Disease, so a nice little random risk of horrible death years after eating it. I’m an oldz, maybe I can outrun it.

  • BadKitty904

    “So, if the poor are dependent upon us for their food, how do you think they’re going to vote?”

    AND massive federal food contracts for Republican ‘campaign donors’!”

    “WIN-WIN!!1!”

    ~ The GOP

  • The Wanderer

    (reads the Wonkagenda; goes back to furry porn)

  • FlemmishSpy

    OT: US women’s hockey team routs the stateless Russian athletes 5-0.

    • The Wanderer

      US luger Erin Smith lost control, left her sled, went sideways and augered into the wall. She appears to be shaken up, but moving under her own power.

      • renegade500

        Those sliding down a wall of ice on a sled sports are to me the definition of crazy! Glad she’s okay. I remember one of the last couple of Olympics where a sledder/luger person died in a training run before the games even started.

        • The Wanderer

          Yeah, a Georgian fellow at Vancouver in 2010. Lost control at about 88 mph, went over the sidewall.

          • renegade500

            Yeah, I remember how sad that was.

          • The Wanderer

            I read that they shortened the track and added extensions to the sidewall.

        • The Only Cosmic Owl

          It’s why I love the Winter Olypmpics; everything is done as in the Summer Games, but with ice.

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          At least Luge is feet first, Skeleton is head first.

          • renegade500

            I often wonder why they call it skeleton, then I think it’s because if you mess up, you’re gonna become a skeleton.

          • bupkus231

            Last night, someone here referred to it as “face luge”. Even tho’ I “corrected” that person, I think I like that name better than “skeleton”….

          • Hesavebread!

            Wait until they see the pairs . . .

          • Opalescent Riddles

            Or, you’ll break your whole skeleton.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Let’s fuck up their elections next!

      • JohnBull

        As a Russian major, I’d like to offer my master trolling techniques! Now all we need is a few hundred thousand Americans who also speak Russian.

    • therblig

      yeah, but the IOC Electoral College gave Russia the win. isn’t that how it works?

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      U-S-A!! U-S-A!!

  • janecita
  • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

    OH SO RAPING A FOUR-YEAR-OLD IS A “MISTAKE”? REALLY? FUCK YOU, PENNSYLVANIA TOWN.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I’ve decided I don’t understand what that story is about, and I’m not going to look into it any further.

      • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

        YOU MADE A GOOD CALL I AM SO FILLED WITH RAGE I AM SHAKING.

    • Shanzgood (15 Days!)

      He resigned. But they still elected hm, so it’s still all the [redacted] things.

      • bupkus231

        Damnit. The town didn’t elect him or “re-elect” him. It was the damned members of the volunteer fire company that did. The town itself is only some 300 souls – so you gotta figure it was only a coupla dozen hillbillies that ignored his history, not the whole town.

  • wait! what?

    There needs to be a caffeine time out:

    The link to the fired lady who married her partner goes here:

    http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/maryland/crime/bs-md-ci-gttf-verdict-20180208-story.html

  • La forza del resistino

    The Senator from Ohio is gonna be pissed Dominic.
    ‘Open up a new tab and read Colbie Holderness’s op-ed about what it’s like to be Rob Portman’s battered spouse’

    • The Wanderer

      Rob Portman can go fuck himself with a rusty, barbed steel dildo of votes.

      • La forza del resistino

        that too. I doubt he ever crossed paths with ex- Mrs Porter.

    • oh shit, thanks. Fixed.

  • Andrew Rheinheimer

    Porter, not Portman. I had a heart attack thinking I could be rid of my idiot Senator.

    • wait! what?

      Well, maybe get rid of that Mel Gibson character, too…

    • Already fixed!

    • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

      As right wing idiots go, he actually isn’t the worst of the worst. Which gives me some hope for our fair state.

  • Andrew Rheinheimer

    CBS removed the sex offender page too, it seems, Mr. Gwinn.

  • MynameisBlarney

    JFC, finally a bit of good news!

    http://politicalape.com/2018/02/12/federal-judge-reinstates-obama-era-rules-tells-trump-to-sit-down/

    Federal judge tells trump to sit the fuck down and stfu.

    • janecita

      Thanks, I really needed that.

      • MynameisBlarney

        We all do.
        Really fuckin bad.

    • wait! what?

      An estimated $330 million a year in methane is wasted through leaks or intentional releases on federal lands, enough to power over 5 million homes a year. Each year over 175,000 tons of potent greenhouse gases are released annually, in addition to a whole host of other toxic pollutants.

      The ruling is just the latest in a series of huge setbacks for the Trump administration as courts continue to overrule the executive branch for actions against climate change taken by President Obama.

      It’s so sad that what’s good for the planet is a “setback” for Donald.

      • MynameisBlarney

        “It’s so sad that what’s good for the planet is a “setback” for Donald.”

        Not just for Teh Dotard, but the GOP and their corporate paymasters as well.
        They care only for short term financial gain.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Fiona is on the phone to her agent yelling about how he needs to get her zookeepers to get her some snow RIGHT. NOW.

    • She should get Gary Coleman’s agent from the 1980s and find whatever anti-growth growth drugs he used.

      • Ω cynmac asks for your excuse?

        Non-functioning kidneys?

  • Nounverb911
    • Uncle Zor

      This fucking guy. Like we all didn’t just see the massive tax cuts they passed and universally predict that this would be his next move.

    • BigCSouthside

      Who caused the crisis? Oh yeah, you fucks.

    • cmd resistor

      So these idiots even listen to themselves?

    • HogeyeGrex

      **withvoteswithvoteswithvotes**

  • The Very Stable Librarian

    Under Trump’s budget, people no longer get to eat, have health care or a place to live. Oh and they no longer to get to read either as libraries will get slashed too. Congratulations /s Mr. Trump. You’ll create that world you’ve always dreamed of.

    • Fusilier 0770

      Yeah, but we will have a big beautiful wall to gaze at and a new Pulverizer 3000 brought to our military by Lockheed Martin for the low, low price of $650 billion that will make us unstoppable. Meanwhile the Kochs and Mercers are shooting for a personal net worth of trillion after a number, but don’t worry, it will trickle down from all the jerbs they will create once they hit this milestone. #MAGA

  • Courser_Resistance

    Ugh. I have to hunt up some interview clothes for this afternoon. No big, I decided to take an interview with a recruiter I’ve worked with previously. But then she sent me to a bullshit website to fill out their ‘application’. I *was* excited but not so much now. Just something else to endure.

    I’ve lost so much weight that I gave away most of my clothes and the ‘interview’ clothes I kept hang off me far beyond, “Just a little too big’. My $120 black sheath dress looks like a potato sack. No belting that bitch to make it look good. I’m going to try to grab a white shirt from Target this morning that won’t look too bad with the suit skirt that’s only about 1-2 sizes too large. The pisser in this whole thing? Most of my body has melted away EXCEPT for my boobs, which are still a stubborn DDD. I know, I know, first world problems, but honestly, what do I do when my boobs are a size 20 and the rest of me is 14-16? Porn star clothes don’t work for me.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Now, an ungentlemanly and crude man might say something like ‘pics or GTFO’. But I’ll have you know I would never say such a thing, and your writing about ‘DDD boobs’ did not automatically pique my interest as if I were some Pavlovian horndog. Harrumph. I resent the implication!

      • Courser_Resistance

        Hee! I understand the ‘super-orbital stimulii’ thing, but living with them is a whole different story. Kinda like roommates that way. :-)

      • janecita

        Easy for you to be a horndog when you are not the one carrying that extra weight around.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          Exactly! And my compassion for such circumstances makes such a reaction entirely out of the question. I am glad you understand.

        • Zippy49

          My ex had a set that literally gave her a bad, stooped back. Not a good thing.

    • janecita

      Check out your local Marshalls, they are having their winter sale right now. Congratulations on your weight loss, and good luck today!

      Ps. I’m sorry about your boobs:-(

      • Courser_Resistance

        Eh, it’s been the ‘Shitgibbon Diet’. While the weight loss is overall a very good thing, it’s actually been surviving extreme anxiety for over a year. My hair has fallen out too. I need to put hair product on the shopping list, too

        • Shanzgood (15 Days!)

          OMG it’s been the same with weight loss and hair-fall for me! That’s one of the reasons I cut all my hair off! I’ve started taking vitamin supplements for hair and nails in hopes that it stops and I don’t go completely bald.

          • Courser_Resistance

            I haven’t gotten huge chunks in my brush for about 6 months now, so I’m hoping it’s over for now. I may end up cutting mine too, but I loathe the idea. I don’t think I’ve weight this little in over 25 years. Which is good… but… I honestly don’t really give a shit anymore.

        • janecita

          Try this line, the shampoo and conditioner do wonders for your hair. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/13d7d8502e1d08b0b0b1a734787dec94268c11ede47285c517c72b9b98a8929d.jpg

          • Shanzgood (15 Days!)

            Also vitamin supplements with biotin. My hairdresser said that was a good idea.

          • grindstone

            I do biotin daily; it actually does seem to work. What worked best was leaving the manager with that anger management issues.

        • grindstone

          My anxiety makes me eat more….dammit. I’ve regained all the weight I lost over the past two years just in the past couple of months.

          Good luck with the interview. Pin the skirt, try a cardi over a nice shell, and nail it.

    • La forza del resistino

      Much good luck. You can always answer the where do you see yourself in 5 years question with, not in this dress.

      • Courser_Resistance

        OMG, I *love* that answer!

        • La forza del resistino

          Go get ’em girl.

    • Canned Covfefe

      Ugggg! Interview clothes are a challenge in best of circumstances. Dont dismiss a problem that is very real for you. We can argue about 1st world clothes but the right ones are a necessity. It’s not like trying to figure out which blender or face mask or wrench set to buy.
      Also, good luck!

    • Toomush Stability

      This grumble bragging will not stand!…be in my bunk…

    • tehbaddr
    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Good luck. Head to a resale shop!

  • therblig
  • janecita

    The GOP will fuck their own base over with this budget, and they still won’t lose a single vote. This is the kind of ignorant society we live in.

  • C.W. St. John Nobbs

    OT, but the chuckleheads on the Boston sports radio station were whinging about how it is perfectly fine for the Boston PD to honor Red Auerbach (a white NBA coach for you non-sports people, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Auerbach) for black history month. And these are the same fuckstickswho wonder why the rest of the sports world still thinks Boston is a racist town.

    • bupkus231

      Is it really “for” Black History Month, or just coincidentally, DURING Black History Month? I suspect the latter

      Can no organization honor a white person during Black History Month?

      As much as the racists and bigots in this country have been emboldened to say their shit out loud nowadays, I can’t help but think this was not something thought out ahead of time. As it is, it sounds to me more like a creation of the “outrage machine”.

      • C.W. St. John Nobbs

        The problem is not so much that they can’t honor him, it’s more the tone deaf nature of the action. BPD acknowledged that it was off tone, and fixed it. Let’s face it, there are plenty of black people they could honor for black history month. It was really the white whinging that was even more problematic. The same hosts have a long and storied history of dog whistle commentary, and really enjoy playing the poor put upon long-suffering white victim. I’d listen to the other station, but it doesn’t come through on the Cape, and WEEI is rebroadcast out of Barnstable.

        • bupkus231

          Yeah – I just saw what BPD had posted on Twitter, in this story frim Deadspin:

          Link: https://deadspin.com/for-black-history-month-boston-police-pay-tribute-to-w-1822918407

          It really is quite a remarkable thing – “honoring” Red Auerbach for being the first NBA coach to draft a black player? That is true horseshit – and, while I denigrated the “issue” as a creation of the “outrage machine”, now that I see the damned thing….

          Fuuuuck.

    • La forza del resistino

      like Bill Russell wasn’t a good enough player-coach

  • MynameisBlarney
  • OrG

    It’s Mardi Gras!

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    The perv fire chief resigned. (He was elected chief of a volunteer fir company)
    “The 43-year-old Gilbert was convicted in 2001 of involuntary deviate sexual intercourse with a 4-year-old girl and is listed in Pennsylvania’s Megan’s Law database.

    Gilbert tells the Journal that he will “no longer be affiliated with any organization that helps anyone.”
    Take that, libtards.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      How many people were there in the volunteer fire company, if he got elected? Was it just him?

    • Marion in Savannah

      INVOLUNTARY??? WTeverlastingF? Is there any explanation at all of that extraordinary word?

    • Rick Hill

      ” involuntary deviate sexual intercourse with a 4-year-old girl ”

      Isn’t that called rape?

      • bupkus231

        Involuntary deviate sexual intercourse does not always mean actual intercourse.

        [ The AJC said that he had been convicted of forcing the girl to perfom oral sex on him… ]

    • tehbaddr

      “no longer be affiliated with any organization that helps anyone.” Yeah I think the world could do without him.

    • Erala Contratista

      Since when is sex with a 4 year old anything BUT involuntary?

      • Hesavebread!

        She was a gymnast and therefor asking for it? Or whatever the excuse was last week.

  • calliecallie

    “Trump’s personal lawyer Michael Cohen is shopping a book about Trump’s ALLEGED Forbes-fueled fuck fest with Stormy Daniels as a rebuttal to all the other Trump books hitting the shelves lately.”

    Wait, what?

    • Umm…. I guess he’s decided to cash out and drop that whole “I’m a lawyer” bit? I guess Trump’s payments must be seriously in arrears.

      • Ω cynmac asks for your excuse?

        Harvey Levin Libelz!1!!11! Oh, wait. That’s TMZ. Nevermind. Carry On.

  • Snowbound Ron

    So, when ARE you gonna riot and throw these bums out?

  • Shanzgood (15 Days!)
    • LadyLaz

      Good. With votes. And good for that child’s mother … for not “letting it go.”

      • Ω cynmac asks for your excuse?

        And still she persisted.

    • I have to ask, “At what point was this considered a good idea?”

    • HogeyeGrex

      One still has to be amazed at the fact that he got elected in the first place. I mean, wtf?

      But good.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Can’t tell if trolling, or…

    http://dailyoftheday.com/wtf-of-the-day-platypus-deniers/#disqus_thread

    Platypus deniers.

    • Robin Williams had a bit about the platypus being proof that God gets stoned.

  • Nounverb911

    Our robot masters have taken up skiing…
    https://twitter.com/CBSNews/status/963412808380633090

  • LadyLaz

    We all know Schroedinger’s cat. I would like to introduce you to Krugman’s cat. No really, this is Krugman’s cat. The Nobel laureate posted it on his twitter feed the day afternthe election. Just as I felt that day, and every day since…. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2b7fd6e4e4ba61f21207829a4368d56454ca27c9bb47b28bcb5351ac945898d4.jpg

    • Canned Covfefe

      I’m afraid this might be the only laugh of my day. I feel a bit overwhelmed at the moment by all ugliness.
      Thank goodness for this section where Wonketeers come to, ahh, share thing which definitely are not comments.

    • Toomush Stability

      That cat is both there and part of the rug…

    • Erala Contratista

      Made me grin.

  • tehbaddr

    So much Fuckery going on, it’s hard to keep track of it all!

    Second day of the Flu not so bad. I feel like I’ve been trampled by a heard of Wildebeests, not slammed and run over by a Mack Truck like yesterday. Got the Tamiflu going mid afternoon day one, I think it’s helping.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Mine took a little longer to ramp up. My hair didn’t hurt til the second day. I’m still fighting a lingering hack, but I think the low level fever is gone. I just don’t bounce back the way I used to. Worst I’ve felt in ages. Good luck.

    • chortlingdingo

      Oh, I’m on the recovery end of the flu myself. Mine was all concentrated in my head, so it felt like a migraine (with a bonus fever!), but at least I didn’t have any coughing.

    • Erala Contratista

      Got Tamiflu last year and it is terrific. No side effects here. Then I got flu 3 more times.
      Can’t win them all.

  • Impatient

    I think Remington also has had problems because of their rifle triggers going off when bumped. This produces not only dead people but, worse, lawsuits! They deny it, of course, and have refused to go to a safer trigger (like Savage rifles).

    So anti-gun environment, economic conditions, blah blah blah. Wingnuts have always been the most excellent bullshitters.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      And whiners.

    • Ω cynmac asks for your excuse?

      Papa John Libelz!1!11!1

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    I would like to point out the budget Trump wants, and the budget we will get are not the same. Trumpy’s list of cruelity has to go through Congress, so prepare to flood Congress with phone call and letters.

    • bupkus231

      Yeah, Steve Benen pointed that out at Maddowblog this morning:

      Link: http://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/following-tax-cuts-the-rich-trump-budget-would-hurt-the-poor

      This is ordinarily the point at which some pause at the “if implemented” caveat. A president’s budget is often ignored once it reaches Capitol Hill, and when it comes to making fiscal and appropriation plans, it’s a safe bet that lawmakers are going to go their own way. There’s no reason to believe the White House plan will realistically be implemented.

      But budgets matter as moral documents: this is Donald Trump’s blueprint for the kind of nation he wants to see. If this president had total control over the levers of power, he would impose this budget plan on the public.

      And the public would suffer accordingly.

      So, when will the Trumpanzees realize he’s fucking them and rise up with their holy wroth and smite him and the entire GOP? HAH!

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        Exactly, it speaks volumes about Trump’s moral character, if he had the power to do so. He would (and this is a word i dont use lightly) rape the social safety net and leave millions of the poors to their own fates.

        • Boscoe

          As would many republicans if they didn’t have to worry about getting re elected…

      • Ω cynmac asks for your excuse?

        Never. And so I post this one more time. Same as it ever was.
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BeTQq22EM0k&t=47s

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      Thank goodness we have the Republicans in Congress to protect us.

    • it’s DOA. they already have a budget for 2 years.

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        Really? I thought that was a plan, not a actual budget

  • puredog

    Dom: Gay Catholic marriage link is borked (is just the Baltimore cops story again).
    ETA: Though it may not have been the link intended, this link works: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/education/wp/2018/02/11/not-the-right-kind-of-catholic-private-school-teacher-fired-days-after-same-sex-wedding/?utm_term=.8ef205609638

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Happy Mardi Gras ALL Y’ALL. Take the day off, and celebrate Carnival. Don’t forget, Lent starts tomorrow.

    If you want parade updates try http://www.wwl.com

    • cmd resistor
      • Riley Whodat Venable

        Throw me something Mister?

    • LucindathePook

      Just had a paczki for lunch. Poppyseed.

    • TakingAmes

      I brought king cake to work. And distributed beads.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        As one should. Tradition doies only if we let it.
        Happy Mardi Gras.

    • phoenix00

      Ash Wednesday and Lunar New Year are also coming up on the same day!

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        So cool. So I gues I better not give up red envelopes for Lent ;-)

        • phoenix00

          Me, I get closer to g*d by not eating meat. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

  • Yellerduck

    Haven’t read anything yet. I’m afraid to. When you start off with the bunnies, I know it’s not a good day.

  • Old town Urbandale

    I’ll bet that to get those “Blue Apron-like” deliveries in place of food stamps, the poors will have to place a sign with a big red “L” for “Loser” on their door. Gotta shame them poors somehow. They’ve gotten too cocky with their EBT cards that look like an normal person’s credit or debit card.

    • Ellie

      The box should work out well for the single mother with gastric issues and a child who is allergic to peanuts.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Trump’s budget amputates large portions of the social safety net, cutting billions from food stamps, Medicare and Section 8. There’s no joke here, this is just awful.

    Although the linked article namechecked both, the cuts detailed actually seem to effect to Medicaid, not Medicare.

    Medicaid is the one for poor adults of any age, that the state’s have a bigger hand in administering (and fucking with).

    • chortlingdingo

      Yeah, like making it impossible for a single woman with no children to get any aid, therefore encouraging poor women to get pregnant just out of sheer desperation for help. Probably the single, childless man would just have to starve or be sick to death.

      • Lefty Wright

        That’s the way Medicaid works in North Carolina. If you are between 18 and 64, it is virtually impossible to get Medicaid unless you are disabled, pregnant, or a child. You may qualify if you are the guardian or caretaker of a child or disabled adult, but income limits are so low even a 15 hour a week minimum wage job in NC (still $7.25 an hour) will kick you out. Of course, we did not take the Medicaid expansion.

        • chortlingdingo

          Yeah, that’s Texas too. My best friend is in that situation. She doesn’t qualify for any public aid, and she’s destitute. She does take care of her mom, who is on disability, but because her mother isn’t completely incapable of caring for herself, my friend doesn’t legally qualify as a caretaker, so she still gets no help. It’s really frustrating. Especially because there’s not really anything I can do to help her.

    • Erala Contratista

      And where might these cuts really hurt folks? Hmmmmmm?

  • Resistor Radio

    Awww, that baby rhino playing in all the cocaine is so cute!!

    • phoenix00

      So THAT’S why he was so hyper!

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    I think no more nice times videos. We need to stoke the anger and destroy these people.

    • Jim Johnson

      Maybe some videos of guillotine sharpening.

  • Me not sure

    In regards to the Russian pee hooker story, you must read this book to fully understand the bloody era that gave rise to Putin and the oligarchs. It has been optioned for a movie by Warner Brothers.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/37a29b5569fe3d56c62a2995a8eeabf5cdc5021b1665348ff97f626282630d9c.jpg
    “Warner Bros. and RatPac Entertainment have optioned Ben Mezrich’s upcoming book Once Upon a Time in Russia: The Rise of the Oligarchs — A True Story of Ambition, Wealth, Betrayal, and Murder. Mezrich wrote The Accidental Billionaires, which was adapted into the film The Social Network. Apr 7, 2015”

  • VirginiaHighFiber

    Had to come back here for a second dose of bunniez. One shot isn’t working today.

  • IdiokraticKulturKommissar
  • Jack Has a Memo!!!!

    Now Donnie wants to do away with SNAP all together and start mailing food to the poors, despite the fact that SNAP only has a 1.5% rate of fraud.
    https://www.fns.usda.gov/pressrelease/2013/fns-001213

    What a fucking moron!

    • Ellie

      It will be economic hell for dollar stores and places like Target and Aldi, where SNAP recipients can make their “dollars” go much farther. That isn’t even beginning to address the problem of all people not being able to eat the same things.

      • “Unpresidented” Linda

        And there would be very little fresh foods in those boxes because of the cost of shipping.

        • And the TIME it takes to ship them.

          • “Unpresidented” Linda

            It’s a duplication of services. Grocers already provide this service, with the option of buying fresh produce and meat.

      • Jack Has a Memo!!!!

        Layoffs will follow. Unemployment will skyrocket. More people will need government assistance and the problem perpetuates itself.

      • TakingAmes

        Indeed. This doesn’t account for people who need special diets. This is just going to be boxes of Spam and government cheese. Maybe applesauce, for the vitamins. High fat, high carbohydrates, high sodium.

  • Poly_Ester

    Unfortunately, when donnie sat down to read the US Constitution he only got as far as “provide for the common defence” before he lost interest. That explains a lot.

    • Ellie

      So, that’s why he didn’t know about “promote the general welfare?”

      • Poly_Ester

        Republicans, in general, don’t seem to read the Preamble or much else besides the 2nd Amendment.

  • Occupied Shithole of Kavefish

    Trump to SNAP recipients:

    https://youtu.be/N3TOcw7taBo

    • Ellie

      When I was dancing to this song eons ago, I never really paid attention to the words. But now I can see why you chose it for Cadet BS.

  • Bitter Scribe

    If the dummy in Virginia had only dropped that token “Judeo-” into “select and prefer Christian leaders,” he’d have covered his stupid ass. He couldn’t even be bothered to do that.

  • Mike Steele

    That Spartanburg PA perv fire chief resigned, lamenting that he will no longer serve any association that tries to help people. How will the community deal with such a devastating loss?

    • ginmar

      “Helping people”—–what, four-year-olds aren’t people?

      Plus what kind of tantrum is that?! “Okay, fine, I quit, you people are big meanies! “

  • phoenix00

    Aww come on, who DOESN’T want a convicted pedophile perv putting out everyone’s fires?

    Also: RAMPAGING BABBY HIPPO DESTROYING ALL THE THINGS

  • Granny Sprinkles

    A candidate running for West Virginia’s state House was ejected from a public hearing after she tried to read the names of representatives who’ve taken thousands from oil and gas lobbyists. The nerve of some people!

    I’m proud to say that Millennial Daughter and a friend were ejected from the gallery of that same chamber earlier in the day.

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