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NO RUSSIA! NO RUSSIA! UNLESS … Okay, maybe there is Russia.

Who’s ready to start the week with some weirdass Spy vs. Spy stuff? We honestly have no idea what to make of Friday’s dueling stories from The Intercept and the New York Times. And we are not alone!

The CIA is insisting the whole thing is bullshit.

And the president is shouting about proof of a DEEP STATE CONSPIRACY against “Trump”.

So, what the hell happened?

NSA Hackers Get Hacked

In a nutshell, the NSA built a hacking monster, and it got out. Either through leaks or theft, a group of Russian hackers known as Shadow Brokers gained access to a hacking “toolkit” developed by the US government. And they sold it to some very bad people, who used the NSA’s code to launch massive attacks on hundreds of thousands of computers in 2017. The NSA was in full panic mode, not knowing what else was stolen and desperate to get it all back. After abortive efforts to get their data from a German hacker with legitimate connections to Shadow Brokers, the US intelligence agencies decided to take a market solution to the problem.

Russian Hacker, Russian Bureaucrat, Russian Spy — Same Diff!

During 2017, an “American businessman,” working on behalf of the CIA and NSA, and a “Russian intermediary,” working on behalf of God knows who, conducted extensive negotiations to broker a deal. The Russian said he had the NSA’s precious code, but wouldn’t they also like to buy some delicious sexxxxxy dirts on Donald Trump and all the help he got during the 2016 election. To which the CIA responded, GAAHHHH! NOOOOOO! Mike Pompeo is not here to prove Republicans stole an election, thankyouverymuch. And the NSA guys were not about to commit career suicide by being the ones to prove the pee tape was real.

Wait, NSA has a Twitter account?

Apparently so! Since they authenticated their intermediary by having him say to the Russians, “The NSA’s gonna tweet some random stuff about telegrams,” and then doing it.

WUT?

NO TRUMP STUFF, PLZ!

Negotiations dragged on through summer of 2017, with the CIA saying, “Give us back our data!” And the Russians responding, “Oh, yes. Of course we have your code. But look at these interesting documents on Trump’s business!” Via NYT,

Late [in September], the American businessman delivered the $100,000 payment. Some officials said it was United States government money but routed through an indirect channel.

A few weeks later, the Russian began handing over data. But in multiple deliveries in October and December, almost all of what he delivered was related to the 2016 election and alleged ties between Mr. Trump’s associates and Russia, not the N.S.A. or C.I.A. hacking tools.

Note that the CIA’s denial that it wasn’t bilked out of the funds does not contradict this account.

Russian Dangle, HAR HAR

Was this a classic dangle operation, where the Russians offered to sell what the Americans wanted, only to substitute something designed to manipulate the buyer?

Well, YEAH. But were they feeding us fake information to discredit the American intelligence agency, or was it real kompromat designed to discredit Trump?

The Intercept suggests that it was likely real information.

In December 2017, the Russian turned over documents and files, some of them in Russian. The documents appeared to include FBI investigative reports, financial records, and other materials related to Trump officials and the 2016 campaign.

“The information was vetted and ultimately determined that while a significant part of it was accurate and verifiable, other parts of the data were impossible to verify and could be controversial,” the documents obtained by The Intercept state. It is not clear who vetted the material.

And the NYT says PEE TAPE PEE TAPE PEE TAPE. (We are reading between the lines there.)

Then, a few months later, he showed the American businessman a 15-second clip of a video showing a man in a room talking to two women.

No audio could be heard on the video, and there was no way to verify if the man was Mr. Trump, as the Russian claimed. But the choice of venue for showing the clip heightened American suspicions of a Russian operation: The viewing took place at the Russian Embassy in Berlin, the businessman said.

So, now what?

The deal appears to be dead, with the pissed off American officers telling the Russian to GTFO of Western Europe. But now the NSA and CIA have a bag of flaming dogshit on their hands. What are they supposed to do with all the nasty secrets they have on the Commander in Chief? Looks like they plan to keep as far away from it as possible — according to the NYT, “The Trump material was left with the American [intermediary], who has secured it in Europe.” Sounds legit!

So now Devin Nunes and the goon squad will probably go on Fox and scream bloody murder about the Hillary DOJ trying to murderize Donald Trump with Russian hookers. He’ll write another bullshit memo calling to purge all Democrats from the executive branch. Either that, or Mike Pompeo will whisper in Devin’s ear to STFU because the pee tape is real. In which case, we’ll never hear another word about it.

AND IT’S ONLY MONDAY!

Follow your FDF on Twitter!

Please give us money! We promise to spend it on servers and not PEE TAPE!

[The Intercept / NYT / CBS]

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  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    Gee, if this guy doesn’t stop shitting on the CIA and FBI maybe we could get to some legit metaphorical leakage

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Depends tape: DO NOT WANT!!

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        Yea, didn’t we sign a declaration of independence?

  • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

    I don’t even know how to feel anymore…

  • calliecallie

    Hey, European hackers, you’re up. That pee tape is in your purview somewhere. Please find it and share.

  • Jamoche

    “Negotiations dragged on through summer of 2016”

    2017?

    • Fivedollarfeminist

      Thanks!

    • GoutMachine

      Summer of ’69, or whatever pee equivalent is.

      • gnomemansanisland

        No wonder Woodstock was so wet.

  • Cornelius Fussbudget

    Sessions could really learn a thing or two about how to treason effectively from Mike Pompeo.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    #ReleaseThePeeTape

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Can we livestream it?

      • Red Richmond

        That depends.

  • thixotropic jerk

    There’s nothing about any of this that looks good unless it ultimately leads to Sh*trumpyholio’s demise -oh pleasohplease let it be soon!!!!

  • SayItWithWookies

    Or another interpretation: Trump’s CIA paid a shitload of money for Russian evidence incriminating Trump, and is now sitting on it, and making up a cover story since word about the payment came out. Maybe there’s something in the NYT story that counters that plotline, since I haven’t read it yet, but that was just my first impression.

    • Machnethylsteinerbincolabird

      And the cover story doesn’t exactly make sense…. I mean, if the source code for your hacking tools has leaked out, then it’s OUT… multiple copies now exist all over the world, so…. what good does it do to buy back ONE of the copies? It’s still just as loose. Either we’re missing a lot of information, or this story sounds like bullshit.

      • GoutMachine

        Yeah, that was my thought, too. Can’t put the digital toothpaste back in the tube.

        • Last Hussar

          I think they wanted to know what they had.

    • SweetDeeKat

      I don’t really see the CIA in Cheeto’s sweaty pants pocket. They’ve got their own fiefdom to protect.

  • Scooby

    Sounds like the Russians are trying to goad Trump into starting a war for distraction.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    I dunno. I’ll withhold judgment until I hear how this is being reported on Devin Nunes’ facebook page.

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    I am angry at Russian hackers for stealing my elections, but I am grateful to Russian hackers for providing me hundreds (thousands?) of dollars worth of free textbooks.

    Awkward.

  • BillEGoatSmirk

    I guess the only thing I can take from this is that everybody and their brother has dirt (financial or otherwise) on Liddle Donnie – the Russians, the FBI, Mueller, shadowy hackers, Steele, the CIA, the NSA…Can somebody PLEASE just drop a flash drive on the Washington Post so we can end this nightmare?

    • Asterix

      THIS!

    • GoutMachine

      Seriously. Where’s our Daniel Ellsberg?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        His shrink prescribed Xanax. He has no trouble sleeping at night now.

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler
  • Mintie

    That NSA/CSS tweet is probably some kind of coded phrase. We all need to subscribe and start cracking that stuff right away. Better than the Little Orphan Annie Ovaltine codes!

    • msanthropesmr

      “D-r-i-n-k m-o-r-e O-v-a-l-t-i-n-e”

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Shit, it’s just an ad!

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    This is why I will only sign on to the World Wide Web. The Internet can easily be hacked.

  • Asterix

    Spy vs. Spy was 1) Fun and 2) Made Sense. This shit? Neither funny or even remotely logical.

  • TundraGrifter

    “…a classic dangle operation…”

    To get the brit milah done right hire a Mohel.

  • Royal Ugly Dude

    the pissed off American officers

    ICWYDT

  • reelreeler

    The only thing I know for 100% sure anymore is that if the presidential motorcade went by me I’d spit at it.

    • GoutMachine

      I live in D.C., so I see it on occasion. Every single time I do, I roll down my window and flip it the bird. One time, I was walking on a street near the Naval Observatory, and it went by. I flipped it off but then after thought, Shit, I should have mooned it.

      • Paul

        Bird? Protected by the first amendment.

        Moon? Likely a charge of indecent exposure.

        Stick with the bird.

    • msanthropesmr

      Stink Kitty!

    • The Wanderer

      Squee babby skonk!

    • Roadstergal

      One of these bastards invaded my backyard this morning and caused me to do an emergency bathing of my dogs that I didn’t have time for before work this morning.

      Cute little bastards, but stay outta my yard!!

  • Msgr_MΩment

    I get all my infotainment needs
    from the NSA Twitter feeds.

  • Tetman Callis

    We’ll never hear another word about it?

    Can’t stop the signal, Mal.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVF9lZ-i_ss

  • Blanche de Shambles

    Shit, I want to start sending telegrams.

    KAISER HAS MOVED TROOPS TO FRONTIER STOP AM EN ROUTE TO LUBLIN VIA OVERNIGHT TRAIN STOP SEND TRANSIT PAPERS LETTERS OF CREDIT UNDER NAME BARRINGTON STOP GOD HELP US ALL STOP

    • Msgr_MΩment

      ULYANOV IS IN SEALED TRAIN LEAVING ZURICH STOP PLEASE PROVIDE SAFE PASSAGE STOP DO NOT STOP TRAIN STOP

      • TootsStansbury

        DID YOU BITCHES HOLD THE SHIFT KEY? WELL? DID YOU?

        • puredog

          And then the murders BEGAN.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          ANOTHER REASON THAT TELEGRAMS ARE SUPERIOR!!!11ELEVEN!!

    • Red Richmond

      STOP HAMMERTIME STOP

      • Roadstergal

        STOP IN THE NAME OF LOVE STOP

    • GoutMachine

      POTUS HAS BECOME RUSSIAN ASSET STOP GOVERNMENT NOW IN HANDS OF GRIFTERS AND CHARLATANS STOP BELIEVE URINE HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT BUT CANNOT CONFIRM STOP

    • Villago Delenda Est

      HILLARY CLINTON’S EMAIL SERVER HAS BLOWN UP THE MAINE IN HAVANA HARBOR STOP ALSO SEEN ON GRASSY KNOLL STOP DEVIN NUNES CONFIRMS BOTH INCIDENTS STOP DEVIN NUNES EXCLAMATION POINT STOP

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Yet again, nothing about this says the Taint is innocent of conspiring with the russians, or of laundering money through russians, or of indulging in Russian prostitutes, or any of the crimes he’s accused of. It just says that they are mad that he got caught.

  • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

    All these stories are really getting my bladder up.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Pressure’s building. Soon it will be inescapable.

      • Granny Sprinkles

        The constant drip of information gives me a warm feeling that quickly turns into a chill.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Slow clap for constant drip.

      • leemoder

        Wish I hadn’t drank all that tea before reading.

      • Clark_Nova

        Actually, soon it will be escapable and then it does just that.

    • Charles Insandiego

      Urine big trouble, mister.

    • LiberalANDProud

      The whole situation has me pissed.

  • Dzheyms Bondski: From Russia with Hooker Pee.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      The Micturition Candidate

      • Last Hussar

        Dial P for President.

      • eggs ackly-wright

        A Yellow and Present Danger

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Well, then drink more water, till it’s clear.

  • msanthropesmr

    Urine trouble, Donnie.

    • Granny Sprinkles

      Yellow journalism!

      • Your-a-peein’ influence all over the White House!

        • Msgr_MΩment

          We’ve got Trouble,
          Right here in Bureaucrat City.
          With a capital ‘T’
          Which rhymes with ‘Pee’….

          …that’s it. Just that.

        • Kgprophet

          The White House staff are all a bunch of pee-ons.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Somebody’s going to:

      https://youtu.be/CZV431zhXA4

      • little miss high and mighty

        Just don’t be the bunny.

        • Jeffery Campbell

          I love that so much. I saw it a dozen times. I was a crazed fan and basically stalked Hunter Foster.

          • little miss high and mighty

            Run feedom run
            yeah yeah
            freedom run away,
            yeah yeah
            Freedom run freedom run freedom run freedom run away,
            O, freedom ruun..etc etc etc

    • Shibusa

      The dude needs to mind his Pees and Qs!

  • Jenny

    What I want to know about is this uber leet hax tool that has spread to bad guys like the Ebola virus, but the creators aka, us, haven’t figured out a way to neutralize it.

    Create a problem, watch it run amok. Freak out about it later. It’s the American way!

  • Paperless Tiger

    What scares me is not so much what the Russians have, but the accuracy of their assessment of how it will play when they release it. Apparently, the only time they were surprised was when Trump’s “grab them by the pussy” comment went viral and didn’t scuttle his campaign. I guess even their low estimation of us wasn’t low enough.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      “No one ever went broke…”

  • BaconzShanz

    Russia plan.

    1) threaten Ukrainian sovereignty invade Crimea

    2) Destabilize western liberal democracies with racists/nationalists

    3)????

    4) PROFIT!

    (BUT SERIOUSLY WE ALL KNOW PROFIT is about article drilling…if you don’t think it’s about artic drilling. Hahahahahaha. You’re pretty stupid at this point and go home)

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Article drilling?! No wonder I can’t buy a ‘a’.

      • GoutMachine

        Article man / article man / doin’ the things / an article can …

        Just not the same with out PEE

      • eggs ackly-wright

        Charlie Chan was always dropping his articles.

  • canes_pugnaces

    This is all skullduggery and ham-fisted tradecraft at this point. The waters have been so intentionally muddied that no one knows anything. The GOP don’t care. The only credible investigation, at this point, is Mueller’s, and who know what’s going on with that. My guess: nothing happens. Ever.

  • La forza del resistino

    Can’t wrap my head around the reporting. But I can ask, who refers to themselves in the 3rd person with scare quotes? “Trump”

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “The Msgr.”?

    • akryan

      He’s lost touch with reality. he doesn’t even think he’s real. He can’t put together that he is “Trump”. It must be like living an out of body experience.

    • Roadstergal

      Every quote from Trump is a scare quote. I mean, they’d be funny if he hadn’t shady-sided himself to the Prezdent of the US.

    • clairence

      I think it has to do with legal deniability. “I wasn’t talking about myself in those tweets, just the Trump brand.”

  • LiberalANDProud

    Another example of the inefficiency of government.

    If they would have used the free upgrade to Windows 10 and then updated Windows Defender, none of this would have happened.

  • BigCSouthside

    There is a zero percent chance that there isn’t a monster amount of evidence that Trump Org is a giant laundromat in my opinion.

    • msanthropesmr

      I wouldn’t send my shirts there. I want them clean, not pissed on.

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      How else do you explain bankrupting 3 casinos?

    • Kgprophet

      Trump never allowed the public to see his tax returns. But Mueller has seen them. Let that sink in.

  • FauxAntocles

    Enquiring minds want to know if the pee hookers all look like Ivanka.

    • LiberalANDProud

      Only from the waist down.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      …with cascading yellow locks….

      • Last Hussar

        Don’t knock what you haven’t tried!

  • msanthropesmr

    You remember that time when Obama had all that compromising information leaked about his money laundering efforts with the Russian mob and then he had that affair with a porn star while Michelle was pregnant?

    • MynameisBlarney

      No, but I’ll never forget Dijon-Gate!

      • msanthropesmr

        He put his black feet up on the desk.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          White feet ONLY on that desk.

          • Kellyanne flashing her panties at a roomful of HBCU presidents, though, that’s OK.

          • Notreelyhelping

            Could have been worse.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Could have been Donald.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            I’m just glad she was wearing panties.
            Seeing her pull a Sharon Stone might
            traumatize everyone, for life.

          • Barbara

            Goℴgle pays to people of all ages 97 dollars per-hour to complete few task off a home computer .. Labor for only few hours & fun greater time with your own friends . Any person can catch this specific job!!last weekend I purchased a new McLaren F2 after just getting $15422 this-past/five weeks .it’s certainly the best work however you could not forgive yourself if you don’t look it.!nx55s:>> http://GoogleFactoryEarnMoneyOnTheInternet/make/97$/hr ♥f♥s♥♥♥u♥♥♥y♥♥v♥r♥g♥g♥♥♥p♥♥♥e♥f♥♥♥c♥♥h♥♥♥s♥♥♥e♥♥♥k♥♥♥c♥♥n♥u♥♥v♥♥♥k♥y♥p♥♥b♥o:::::!jw831r:tg

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Or…my mind cannot purge the image…the TAN SUITS!

        • MynameisBlarney

          And don’t forget the Arugula Incident!

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Most scandal ridden administration, ever!

        • The mom jeans!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Was he wearing a tan suit at the time?

  • Meccalopolis

    well? lets pass the hat, i’ll pony up ten bucks

  • MynameisBlarney
  • TheGrandWazoo2
    • Needs to be deeper.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        We want to make it more of an effort for Zombie Donald to reach fresh air again.

        • Roadstergal

          I believe Zombie Donald will be more coherent than Current Donald.

        • Last Hussar

          Bury face down. Its how the vikings made sure.

          • Stable Uniomist Raan

            Don’t forget to stuff his mouth with salt!

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      It’s the only dirt that will make a difference.

    • We should put up a building on it, to mark it properly for posterity. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0269a2a31c8d9c2e8b61229bbef7674422e1ca3f0bb323bb25f59a0c260f1744.jpg

    • TootsStansbury

      This is a matter of grave national peril, it is no time to be making jokes.

      • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

        These puns will be the death of me.

  • OrG

    These are the motherfuckers “protecting” us?

  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

    Does Glenn Greenwald believe Russia helped Trump and republicans now?

    • Roadstergal

      Was his opponent in 2016 still Hillary Clinton? Then no.

      • If there was anyone out there actually defending Putin’s gay pogrom, Greenwald would both sides them at this point. All he needs is a cape.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Does anyone give a crap what Greenwald believes? Anyone?

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        I don’t but he keeps denying it no matter what evidence comes out and some so called liberals believe him.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          He is a useful Russian tool.

    • who?

    • Gorillionaire

      Of course he does. He’s just not going to say that out loud.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Goodness, no. This just proves that the NSA and CIA are AS COMPLICIT in trying to compromise Trump’s presidency as the FBI. I mean, I assume.

    • Daniel

      Yes.
      The follow up question is “does he think there’s anything wrong with that?”

  • Bureaucrap

    I totally love the “PAY ONLY IF IT’S DELIVERED” — Get the hint, Vladimir????

    • Me not sure

      Spycraft.

  • Me not sure

    Nothing says St. Valentine’s Day like Russian pee hooker tapes. …Oh, and chocolate, flowers, and champaigne.
    Release the urine!

  • akryan

    read both articles. super fucking weird and straight out of a spy novel. my guess would be that they were trying to give them total BS kompromat in the hopes they’d run with it and when it came out they were wrong, they’d look like big dummies and it’d scuttle the entire investigation.

    • Lord Jim

      That was my guess.

  • UpstateNYObserver

    OK, calling bullshit on buying source code back. Copied files aren’t ever going back. Who could be dumb enough to pay for a copy of a copy of something you have anyway? It’s not physical it’s digital. The pee tape on the other hand, that you could buy.

    • andyk304

      It’s a buy-back in order to figure out which programs have been compromised. We know they got X. Did they get X+2? X+10?

      • Bobathonic

        How does buying a set of files prove what was taken? He gives you X+2 but actually has X+11VENTY! You can’t prove Roosky Spy isn’t holding something back unless you already know what you lost – in which case, why chat with Roosky Spy unless you think nobody ever copied it and it needs to be contained? And if nobody copied it and it needs containment, how did it get released into the wild?

        Sounds like a BS story to me.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          You can determine that that particular piece of information was indeed stolen. I’m not saying I agree with the plan, but the rationale is that if the seller can produce a valid copy of that piece of information, you can check the box that it was in fact stolen and now in the wild, as opposed to having to guess whether or not it is.

          • Bobathonic

            But that’s only for the ones Roosky Spy returns to you, right? You don’t know what he still held back, do you?

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Nope- it only confirms worst case scenario that that specific info has escaped to the wild. It tells you nothing about what else might be out there.

          • Swampgas_Man

            This all beats the shit out of Tom Clancy (RIP)

        • andyk304

          “Fingerprints”. Minute markers whose presence or lack of can tell whether data has been edited. It’s similar to the methods they use to determine if a certain hacker- like Fancy Bear or Guccifer, for example- was responsible for a hack.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            true- besides determining if a specific bit of info is compromised, you can often get clues as to how by whom.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      the idea is to find out what information was hacked- I doubt anyone assumes copies weren’t made, but it would verify what information was lost

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        What is horrifying to me is that they wouldn’t already know that.

        • andyk304

          Until they know for sure, they suspect the worst and forego using the tools that are suspected to have been compromised in case the other guy has laid a trap.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          It’s not easy to confirm what info has been copied by hackers (or by thieves on the inside). Did they get everything? Just some of it? Do you regard everything in your arsenal as suspect from that point going forward?

          • AnnieGetYerFun

            Sure, it’s just that I would assume they’d have some kind of version control system that would track access to certain files? Anyway, I think it’s a fool’s errand to attempt to get any of it back.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            I’d assume they have such methods too. And I’m not convinced that in this case it would be worth a buyback, though I don’t know what sorts of critical intelligence they might be freaking out about. For all we know, the whole thing may be a feint to see who comes forward with what.

      • MC Planck

        But if you don’t know what they stole, how do you know when they’ve given it all back?

        It all sounds pretty stupid to me.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          You don’t know that and never will. All you can hope to do is determine whether or not a specific piece of info was stolen- assuming it turns out to be accurate. If it doesn’t turn out to match anything that might have been stolen, you still don’t know that much, because you don’t know if it was just a scammer trying to make a buck or deliberate misinformation from the actual thieves- all part of the spy vs spy game.

          All you can do is confirm worst case scenario that indeed the info being offered for sale was yours. That information can be quite important though. Imagine that someone offered to sell the cipher keys for the enigma machine back to the Germans after the allies had cracked it. Sure, they already had them, but knowing that Enigma had been cracked would have meant that they quit relying on it- it would have been worth it for them to verify if the info being offered for sale was the real deal.

      • UpstateNYObserver

        That’s assuming they actually show you ALL that they took. That Russians were the ones the got in. This is, at best, a Hail Mary, the damage has been done, they’re hoping that it wasn’t the entire code directory attached to that server. This tells me that they didn’t have any sort of logging or any tracking in place to monitor access to that data. This is pure desperation on the NSA’s part. Almost wonder if the newest crop of geniuses didn’t all come from ITT Tech or Trump U.

  • TJ Barke

    We are so fucked.

  • JMP

    Wait, the CIA is dealing with the Shadow Broker now? Is it the original Shadow Broker who is the final boss of a long quest line:

    https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/vsbattles/images/5/53/Shadow_Broker.jpg

    Or Liara, your companion & possible romantic interest who takes his place after defeating him:

    https://chickwithhooks.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/masseffect3_liara_at_war_room.png

  • fawkedifiknow

    This sounds like an episode of Babylon Berlin..

  • Daniel

    Why does he put his name in scare quotes?

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      It’s one of his staffers imitating his style.

  • clairence

    I still think that Trump talks about “Trump” in his tweets as a legal avoidance of specificity.

    • Rags

      Trump the corporation / sovcit

      • phoenix00

        Trump the supernatural ether

    • Tim Berland

      It’s a trade name or registered trademark. Trump can’t find the R in a circle character (R).

  • andyshelt

    Nunes

    (Pronounced:- Noo-ness)

    noun

    1. An oily growth found on the buttocks of elderly white men, particularly those whose diet largely consists of unhealthy fast food. If not treated surgically at an early stage the growth can spread until it completely disappears up the anus of the patient.

    • phoenix00

      One can argue it’s on the patient’s face too.

  • little miss high and mighty

    5$ Fem, ol pal
    We are hoping the Antonio Prohias origional Spy vs Spy graphic becomes a regular feature on this bracing historical chapter of crap. So fitting. MAD won’t mind.

    • Bitter Scribe

      I could never decide whether those were birds with human hands and feet, or men with really long, weird, pointy noses and no jaws.

      • little miss high and mighty

        we thought they were fighting ladies until the female spies showed up again.

      • CafeenMan

        I always thought they were crows.

    • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

      Fun fact – Spy vs Spy is now drawn by Peter Kuper, who I went to highschool with..

  • Fatalysk Barnes

    Fresno talk radio had Nunes on this afternoon. Neither he nor any callers can understand why some Trump-haters aren’t being indicted. Nunes says he’s looking into it (though recused). GAHHHH!!!!!!!https://www.google.com/search?q=man+hits+self&rlz=1CDGOYI_enUS741US741&hl=en-US&prmd=vni&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&biw=375&bih=591&tbs=itp:animated&ved=0ahUKEwj62-2Wr6HZAhVi64MKHQFHDdMQlJcCCCEoAQ#imgrc=3GqFrqIITqa0aM:

  • tinker12
    • Delu

      Living Large, Swamp King in natural habitat.

    • phoenix00

      “You’ll see me once I drain this swamp”

  • Mormos

    take away: nsa creates monstrous and effective spy software, software is stolen and now availble to anyone willing to pay. taxpayer dollars well spent.

  • dieselox

    Everything is going to be fine come November. I can feel it.

    Off to smoke as much herb as I can for the next 9 months, only way to cope.

    (joking dad, if you see this)

    (or maybe not…)

  • tehbaddr

    I see nothing unusual or crazy about this at all! o_0

  • Oy.
    Obvs the Russians set this up on purpose the minute the “russia” story broke to muddy the waters.

  • Lefty Wright

    Can we start a go find me page to raise money to pay these Russians for copies of their data? It looks like they have tapped out squeezing the CIA, so maybe we can get a discount. Because you know they still have all the original information.

  • Snowbound Ron

    Previously I said that even John le Carré wouldn’t be able to write a novel about this. Now I understand why – it’s actually an episode of ‘Get Smart.’

    • Vacuous Virgina

      I asked you not to tell me that 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “And the name of that American intermediary…Tom Arnold. And now you know…the Rest of the Story.”

  • Zyxomma

    The more I learn about this, the less I want to know.

  • javadavis

    Man is it ever time for a flower picture. Too bad I could only find plant or garden pictures for this one. I’ll source this one as well. Make that “these”, as those cabbages are just too pretty, for cabbages.
    The garden picture is from ‘liquid gold’, a site that talks about using urine for fertilizer. The guy with this garden learned that watering with urine can cause salt build up, so he decreased his salt intake.
    the cabbages ‘might’ be so huge and nicely formed because of pee fertilizing. They also might be Finnish.
    Pretty, aren’t they?
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/27a648a91dd2dfe0fdfefbc9a8188ba7ab743513f428fe060b1a8c87622b69b7.jpg https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/37b30fb0c933932caa66f5305cfe364574b418feadf6d1619a9dda312d8446ad.jpg

    http://www.liquidgoldbook.com/uncategorized/new-photos-and-lor/
    https://www.sciencenewsforstudents.org/article/flush-free-fertilizer

  • guppy06

    Wait, NSA has a Twitter account?

    Pffft, the NSA has all the Twitter accounts.

  • Leftflank

    Ummm, Mueller…Don’t…Care!

    Yes, there is a sleazy, scummy, douchy side story to this administration that grows exponentially but the meat on the bones is what is being investigated and prosecuted.

    And what’s with the Repubs and tapes anyways? The Nixon tapes-the PeePee tapes, are these guys just piss ignorant. (pun totally intended)

    The books are already pouring out and the Flaming Orange Douche is still in office, just wait.

  • Tim Berland

    I thought I understood how data works on the internet.
    If you get a copy of my data, would I pay for you to give me a copy of what you have? Wouldn’t the you still have the data/tools?
    If “they sold it to some very bad people”, wouldn’t the CIA have to get it from each of those bad people?

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